What's wrong with dating single moms?

EuphoricWizard · 2014-12-08T03:09:17+00:00

Dating a single mom is like playing another mans saved game

grewapair · 2014-12-08T08:12:47+00:00

My friend dated a single mom when the kid was an infant, and married that mom. For ten years she begged him to "show his love" for the girl who knew him as her only dad, by adopting her.

He finally broke down and went through with the adoption.

6 months later, wife takes off to live with her boyfriend of 8 years. Raped my friend for child support while the two of them snorted the child support money up their noses.

Ah, good times. Don't come near those women.

sfsavage · 2014-12-08T02:46:09+00:00

My ex wife frequently tells a shocking story of abuse to the new people she meets. I've heard about it. Apparently I have become a delusional, abusive drug addict. She does everything she can to keep the betas she's meeting from ever meeting me. Typically through stories of me being a dead beat.

Meanwhile she's still fucking that alpha cock at every opportunity.

Signs to look for. She has no friends from our time being married except one. No friends. They all refused anything to do with her after seeing her true nature. The one friend is her friend who was also cheating on her husband, whose husband also divorced her after I left my ex. Why doesn't she have any friends from that time?

She won't let you meet me. Sure she's had four potential BB meet my child but you will not be meeting me. No. Because I can tell you the lies and reality of the situation. And I will. And she knows this.

The single mothers I've met the last year? Every single one was incredibly broken and flawed. Incessant shit tests to figure out how much disposable income I made. I'm just done with them. Completely. And why not? Non single mothers will date me and I can plate them. If my SMV was so low that only single mom's would date me I'd just go monk mode.

And regardless the non single moms are actually fun. They have time. They don't just look at me as potential BB. Since I'm not going to be their BB anyway, as they quickly figured out, they turn nasty.

I can see no reason at all to have anything to do with these women. It's like they have a sign around there necks that just says, "I'm a seriously broken failure."

OKJaded · 2014-12-08T05:39:15+00:00

You will never be her number 1,2 or 3.

1. Her
2. Kid
3. Kid's Father

She chose to have a child with this man. She will always romantise how things were with her Ex. You will have a standard that will be nearly impossible to live up to. The child is a living testimony of her ability to accurately and appropriately judge her feelings for another person and her ability to foresee long term consequences for short term gain (lack of birth control).

OnMyWay2DaTop · 2014-12-08T08:08:20+00:00

One of the comments (2nd link):

I've recently made the mistake of dating a single mother. I met a beautiful woman, she was more beautiful than any other woman I had ever dated (and I have dated many very beautiful women. I'm serious. I was the lead vocalist in a nationally touring band, and an undefeated prizefighter. I had no shortage of hot women to see). Her beauty intoxicated me. I also missed having an actual emotional connection to someone. I was used to banging girls and moving on. I wanted something honest and real. THe reality of it is, that single moms will trap you. They can't help but do so. They know their kid needs a father, and that is what you become. The surrogate father, the band aid on a war wound. SHe fucked up, chose the wrong person, was dumb enough to have a kid with them... that is the bottom line. When you step into that situation, you are a means to an end. SHe will do what she can to get you interested, she will make those first months so fucking wonderful you can't explain it. Then, as time sets in, she will start to unfold her plan. I do not believe that this is a conscious thing. SIngle mothers aren't evil life sucking bitches, they are trying to survive. BUt they will use you. REmember this, and if you have already started dating a single mother, you know: you will come last. You are the least most important thing on her list of priorities. Yeah man, you. THis is exactly the opposite with a woman who doesn't have kids. A single mom cares about her kid, herself, her extracurriculars (b/c she has to fight have any), and then you. Once she has you, meaning, once she ropes you into developing a relationship with her child, you will move to the very end of her priority list. Trust me. DOn't believe me? Wait. That's when she has you. Because if you are a good man, once you've developed a relationship with her kid, you won't leave. You will feel obligated to stay. ONce he starts calling you "dad" you won't want to break his heart. She has you. You will continue to come in last. She will start asking more and more of you. Things like alone time with her, romance and passion will no longer exist. Sex will become conditional, she will treat it like a chore. You will see all of this unfold slowly, before you can realize how deep you are in. DOn't believe me? Try it, see what happens. AVOID SINGLE MOTHERS AT ALL COST! I write this while sitting in a living room after having put her kid to sleep. She is at work. When she comes home she will tell me she is tired and go to sleep. I will wake up and go to work and it will start all over again. If you are a young successful attractive young man, AVOID SINGLE MOMS AT ALL COST- NO MATTER HOW HOT SHE IS, OR HOW NICE SHE IS. AVOID THEM. You can do better. You deserve better. Remember that. Please listen to me on this. Please.

Wow, I really feel for this guy.

Wheat-Thins · 2014-12-08T06:08:34+00:00

Because it's a literal manifestation of AF/BB should be reason enough.

BrunoOh · 2014-12-08T07:14:12+00:00

from the comments on the second link.

This is the most disrespectful article that I have ever read. I have been a single mother for 14 years and have wanted nothing more than to simply complete my family for my children.

Translation: You're reeely mean but yeah I want a guy to be my children's dad and to provide for us.

Leave the single moms to the white knights and manginas, gentlemen.

mentalfloss2 · 2014-12-08T05:46:45+00:00

What do you guys think of having them as plates?

chillmonkey88 · 2014-12-08T08:46:36+00:00

Long reply but it's something I've lived through... as the dad of one of the kids... I don't want to cockblock you, she's all your's pal, I want my kid more and you have what I want. (Like teasing a caged animal when another man sees your kid more than you)

I have a really good relationship with my son's mom... but she is bat shit insane with uppity victim/always an excuse complex. We tried making it work but she needs a guy to blanket her (and I do shit with my life)... I'll give her a c- rating as a mom right now, she used to be an a.

needless to say there's men in and out of her home for the last year and it pissed me off but I get my son more and more now (her nights of partying and me and him get to enjoy an overnight at dad's). A little less than 50/50 but more and more random days stacking... he has become used to the revolving door of men and it bugged me... big time. This is merely the surface, just know him and I are in a much better situation now and it's getting continuously better and I hope to have sole custody by next year.

I'm not telling my story of the donor because I've wasted too much time being angry about cs and feeling disrespected in general. I will say that there is an uglier scarier type you need to look out for which seemed to be my ex until recently (she just recently got her beta locked down 2 months ago)... the mom that puts you ahead of the kids... there's nothing more disgusting than the parents that fail to raise there children and go out and spend cs or time of need on another guy. These are the ones that are raising the crazy broken kids that dont develope socially and need therapy when theyre older because mom doesn't care about them and the law is keeping dad away while she blows all the cs on a bag of weed for her new man... < lived that one.

Either way keep them as plates at best... there are exceptions to the rule (I know 2 examples but I'll spare the story since this is long enough) like always but make sure if your going to be exclusively with one... dig for info before you commit to an Ltr.

2comment · 2014-12-08T02:55:27+00:00

The kids can always be used against you. Allegations, games, manipulations, whatnot.

Plus I feel bad being the Xth guy through the revolving door the mother built into their lives. Must jade them pretty hard.

Don't ltr single moms. If you plate them, stay as far away from the kids as possible. Some jurisdictions will put you on the hook if the kids ever see you as "dad".

2014-12-08T05:15:14+00:00

Dating a single mom is like buying a used condom.

FunAndFreedom · 2014-12-08T03:00:42+00:00

The best reason I can give is that plates without children already exist in surplus so there's no need to complicate things by dating the single mother.

FagMuffin · 2014-12-08T10:46:19+00:00

I only date single Moms because you know for a fact they put out and are willing to make bad decisions. JK

Rollo-Tomassi · 2014-12-08T16:13:48+00:00

http://therationalmale.com/2011/12/06/professional-mothers/

SwissPablo · 2014-12-08T19:52:48+00:00

Widows are the honorable exception here.

Alwaysstimulating · 2014-12-08T21:48:03+00:00

Important to distinguish a single mother and a widow

Rush-into-the-fray · 2014-12-08T09:05:39+00:00

In my Experience. I dark triad'd a singe mom for a place to live. She was my best friend, and a fantastic cook. Her boy was in diapers when i met him, her girl was a toddler. I raised them. Now her girl is having her sweet sixteen, and the boy doesn't talk to me. The deadbeat dad made promises, and never delivered. He passed away a year ago, and they all went to his funeral, facebook post after facebook post about this guy they never knew. No matter how much time you spend as a family, you are never the father. You are just a provider. If not in money, in morals.. The way i write you would think that i'm beta. go ahead, i won't write the whole truth online. Just don't do it. Be a man and make your own kids. legitimate or not... You can't make a whore into a housewife. Sadly.. They're all whores since society gives out welfare checks.

User-31f64a4e · 2014-12-08T03:41:45+00:00

Stefan Molyneux did a reasonable bit on single moms: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAAqL2A6V6s

Pretty much the bits above
Plus you're instantly a father, without a chance to grow into the role starting from the child's infancy
Plus, if the child is older than a certain age, you won't ever be respected as an authority figure
Plus, the kid probably hopes Mom and Dad will get together and thus resents you, the dude shagging his Mom
Plus, a pain in the ass logistically. Babysitters (who cost money), etc.
You're wanted for your ability to provision for some other dude's kids.
Plus probably more; been a while so I don't recall everything he said

UrRealDad · 2014-12-08T02:13:51+00:00

Why would anyone want to support a kid that isn't their own? Not only that, but for a woman to have a child but no man in her life is a GIGANTIC red flag.

bsutansalt · 2014-12-08T08:23:26+00:00

And if you need more reason not to, I can share my story again for the thirteenth time. I need to do a massive write up of "here's what happened" and copy-paste it every time one of these comes up.

BluepillProfessor · 2014-12-08T16:46:12+00:00

Great post as usual BSU. Take note fellow TRP-ers, you don't just type out a paragraph of unsupported opinion. The goal is to move the conversation forward with actual information by providing links to relevant articles.

what's the best advice you can give men why they shouldn't date single mothers?

Single mothers are nothing more than crime and welfare production facilities who have already shown they cannot keep a man. The only other possibility is that their judgment is hideously faulty, or both.

Women change drastically after having children and they should. They retain the DNA of their lovers for the rest of their lives and even pass those onto their children. Imagine the foreign DNA they retain from the illegitimate bastard children they sire. So even if you have a mind to breed with a single mom, don't forget the yards of cock and the foreign DNA that WILL end up in the children you have with her.

Then after she has been plowed like a dusty field she wants her Beta Buck to swoop in and take care of her. She may even fuck her BB until the wedding but afterwards be assured you will revert to BB.

TLDR: Single mothers are a bad deal for society, for the kids, for her, and certainly for any chump stupid enough to take her on.

raceAround126 · 2014-12-08T07:41:40+00:00

Only ever had one single mother as a plate. Would never ever ever ever again! It's a complete mindfucked field of near mental torture. No lay is worth it! Ever!

BlackHeart89 · 2014-12-08T16:45:34+00:00

My experience dating a single mom for 3 years, in short:

Her and the kid always come first. They are linked together.
If the baby's father is around, he'll come first in all situations that affect the child directly.
There will never be an "US" with you included. It'll always be YOU and us.

There is more, but quite frankly, thats enough. And I feel that those things will be in a every relationship with a single mother. Unless the father is dead, thats pretty much it...

rocklion200 · 2014-12-08T15:15:04+00:00

This post has been a good one for me. I'm 39 and I've dated single moms, but through sample after sample, I thought maybe it was best to stay away. My preference now is hot 40 year olds or 20 year olds. I have found through experience that dating a single mom is just chock full of bullshit. I don't know the take on here about dating older women, but I happen to like it. They're kids are gone. They are experienced in the bedroom. They know they hit the wall, but for some they hit the gym to maintain what they have. They are experienced in the bedroom. And for a lot it's an easy plate. They had their kids and marriage and now it's time for wild times. They don't bullshit. But based on this post, I think it is a good idea to stay the hell away from single moms.

platinum_peter · 2014-12-08T16:43:08+00:00

Just stopped dating a single mom. You are correct with all your points.

Avoid them like the plague.

evilquesadilla · 2014-12-08T23:38:10+00:00

Maybe because I'm old, 40+, dating single moms is really not that far-fetched.

I wouldn't say don't date a single mom, but she certainly will have her kid(s) as priority. If she doesn't, don't date her, she cray. You can't have a kid then put your boyfriend as number 1.

It's just extra things to worry about. Want to go snowboarding over the weekend? First figure out what to do with the kids.

Same can be said for women with pets, but to a lesser degree. They are just extra considerations to worry about. Kids and pets are both responsibilities. You date her, at the very least expect to be put aside sometimes. Most likely, you'll get involved at some point and at least partially take on the responsibilities. It's not a deal breaker for me, but certainly something to think about.

Older kids (late teens), are much easier, unless they are trouble makers, then they are much worse.

Women don't need to be single moms to be shitty. I feel there are other more alarming signs to watch out for than being a single mom.

Sorry if I'm not dumping on single moms enough, downvote away.

Wolf_A · 2014-12-08T02:19:25+00:00

For starters post wall anxiety will make them give you shit tests like crazy. Anything to make you a beta bitch because she wants that support. Doesn't matter if she is already getting child support & alimony from her ex(s) she can still be on the hunt. They will get you to take responsibility of their children because anything to run away from her own shit. And there are cases where if the guy realized that it's not for him at a later date then these women filed for money from those guys under the guise that they were a father figure to those kids, especially in cases where she is raising really young ones.

EscortVoyeurAdmin · 2014-12-08T11:20:44+00:00

I don't know about all this, I know that I have a dark side to me that if my wife discovered, she would divorce me in an instant, but she has no inkling about it whatsoever. I'm very good at keeping it hidden. It wouldn't be on her if she became a single mom.

thinktankman · 2014-12-08T13:43:45+00:00

I feel you but there's a difference between Julio the dealer who was drinking and driving and Cesar the salesman who died from cancer. Who the man was is important.

Shaft-of-Patriarchy · 2014-12-08T13:24:14+00:00

I'll take the down votes for what I'm about to say, since to many here its RP blasphemy.

Single mothers aren't completely useless to an RP man.

They aren't as prima facie valuable as single girls without a kid, no doubt about that. But that's a bit like saying you wouldn't pay £50 for a Bentley because its previous owner was Jimmy Saville.

Single mothers are the lower end used car lot of the world. Now, if your SMV is high enough, and you live in a market that isn't completely crocked, and you think you can go out and pull in the perfect 10s, in their prime, and hold them down, you have at it. You have my respect for your self improvement and/or genetic superiority.

However, much like the working man doesn't start his car shopping at Ferrari, some men, men around the 7 mark, who know they are never going to be able to nab a 10 for more than a night or two, who are simply priced out of the market by the glut of oiled up, slicked back, juiced spice boy dudebro 10s smashing every female rating 7 and up, can do worse than shopping around the used car lot.

Are you going to find a lot of beaters who will fail on you after 500 mile? Absolutely that's why you keep your investment extremely low.

However, are there some examples out there who yes, have a few dents and scratches here and there, but who actually have a solid grounding and would kill to be the centre of an alphas world? Even if maybe he isn't 10? Yes. Absolutely. And that's where RP should be on this issue. Not ruling them out entirely because doing so frankly in most marketplaces in the 21st century rules out around 30% of the market in your early 20s and around 75-80% of the market by the time you hit your late 20s and early 30s. That's just the way it is.

So, RP, being a pragmatic sexual strategy solution should not be saying "Never date one", it should be saying " Here is the toolkit for finding that diamond in the rough. Here are the criteria. Here are the common faults and red flag"

RP knowledge should be the equivalent of taking out an engineers report. Not just saying well if you can't afford new, get the bus.

Moneyley · 2014-12-08T07:20:30+00:00

I lived it. I call them "-1" depending on the number of kids they have the minus gets bigger. This is the worst mistake a man could make. We are already getting shitty terms under a marriage. Accepting someone else's negatives shows you've lost belief in yourself. Here I share my experiences and describe how some of the little things we take for granted like watching the AM Sportscenter are given up. http://breakfastservedcold.com/single-mom-club.html?m http://m.breakfastservedcold.com/site/TheThrone/the-1-problem-single-moms/

dencrypt · 2014-12-08T11:25:25+00:00

Cause single moms will always use you for whatever resources they may crave at the moment. Not that girls without kids do this as well but the hamstering in mothers are way off the scale in comparison.

HeinousFu_kery · 2014-12-08T14:53:09+00:00

Not a thing, but they'd better be the right single mom, because there aren't many out there (widows and women whose first husbands finally had the decency to come out of the closet), and they then have to have been single for a good long while to figure out who they are, know what's up, and stop acting like selfish 13-year-olds with PMS or institution-worthy crazies (in other words, like most other women).

You probably won't find one that's worth the trouble who's under 40-something.

Source: Experience.

dickinlips · 2014-12-08T15:43:14+00:00

Something you could add is that society will never have your side on any matter. Even from most of your general friends. It will always be on her side because she is both a "hero" and a "victim" by opening her legs.

averageredpill · 2014-12-08T17:27:46+00:00

If you want a simple example, see the movie Boyhood.

The single mother marries two times with two BB for money and stability to raise the AF kids. It's a prime example of AF/BB and kids education (and it's a great movie).

smokeybehr · 2014-12-08T17:53:22+00:00

Everything being said here about single/divorced moms is the truth.

I married a divorced single mom, and divorced her 3.5 years later. I made the mistake of dating a couple of single moms later on. When I finally found "The One", she was a single woman that had no kids and had never been married, and was roughly my age.

The single moms that I dated (and the one that I married) never really saw me as anything but a wide-open wallet. My ex-wife and one of the women that I dated even told me in what they thought was an off-hand manner that their child would come before me.

Overkillengine · 2014-12-08T08:40:25+00:00

Nothing, as long as you are in to people that openly demonstrate how bad their decision making is.

youtalkintome7 · 2014-12-08T15:08:57+00:00

Dating a single mom is like trying to rock a mustache as your only facial hair; you need to be at least 40 yrs old to get away with it. Other than that, it's not worth it, at least in my opinion.

etcomro · 2014-12-08T17:01:32+00:00

Really seems like one of those things that is up to your own perogative. What's wrong for some is perfectly right for certain others. It's a stretch to say that any of the points presented make it "wrong" to get into a relationship with a single mother. They are simply things you must keep in mind.

YouAreAlwaysAlone · 2014-12-08T17:20:32+00:00

How would one rate a mother who is also still a wife?

mentalfloss2 · 2014-12-09T01:58:24+00:00

The post kinda puts all the blame on females and I don't agree with it. In a lot of cases it could also be the guy at fault.

LeggyBlueEyes · 2014-12-09T16:18:33+00:00

While I appreciate the honesty in TRP philosophy, and can understand the reasoning here, it is simply naive to think that there are always sufficient red flags to predict someone's behavior or that people don't actually change to become someone you no longer recognize.

Just as the men here are working to improve themselves and better their judgement, so could a woman. I'm not advocating for single mothers because there are valid arguments. I'm just saying they don't always hold water.

zerointegrity · 2015-02-21T04:17:24+00:00

how about dating a 21 yr old single mother

riverraider69 · 2014-12-08T11:20:43+00:00

/r/theredpill tends to be overly negative in order to make its point. In my (limited) experience, while exclusively dating a single mother is an obviously stupid thing to do, having a SM as a plate is perfectly ok provided that:

you keep the relationship with the kid to a minimum, preferably zero
keep the relationship plate-like, aka lots of fun stuff, zero commitment and no family activities
don't play sugar daddy. Occasional favors are ok, but you're not a walking wallet.

You can get a pretty sweet deal out of this, assuming she's reasonably non-crazy and has basic means of supporting herself.

The only exception and the only situation when actually getting involved may be a good idea is if her SMV is a lot higher. I have a friend who married a single mom above his SMV - looks, smarts, even job. They had another kid and some years later appear to be perfectly happy.

BlackHeart89 · 2014-12-08T15:34:06+00:00

See. This is something i've noticed in this thread. If she has a kid, she's no good because she didn't use protection and made bad choices. If she has an abortion, she's no good because of the previous statement and can't deal with consequences. Lose/Lose

The thing is, I've had the condom break on me a few times in the past. I was incredibly lucky that the women didn't get pregnant or were on some other form of bc as well. Why does everyone seem to assume that if she got pregnant, she was using NO PROTECTION?

What do people have to say about single fathers??? Or fathers from a failed relationship??? Shit on them too?

Lumberjack1234 · 2014-12-08T10:34:33+00:00

I don't know if I agree with this. I'm currently seeing a post-wall 34 years old single mother. I'm 26 and let me tell you, this is the most amazing sex I ever had. The things she knows how to do... the blowjobs, fucking in front of the mirror, ball licking, morning sex... damn. She is amazing.

And you know what is the best thing about her? She does not put up any bullshit. I just text her twice a week that i'm coming over. She either says ok or tells me to bring condoms.

She left her daughter back home with her parents and came to the big city to live her life and get that alpha cock. And the only shit-tests she puts up are funny ones. For example, when I get to her place, after a while, she gets on her knees, unzips my pants and before blowing me, she asks me if this what girls in the clubs do to me.

All in all, from all of my plates (3 of them in total) she is the best one that I plan to keep spinning for months to come.

Red_August · 2014-12-08T10:45:10+00:00

I think we're overlooking one of the most obvious reasons why one might want to stay away from the single mom - especially the ones that squeezed out the kid(s) near the Wall - her stretched-out vag and dangly bits.

vivasalt · 2014-12-08T15:00:51+00:00

what is wrong with buying a used car.... nothing , it is just used.

KoreanBoy1 · 2014-12-08T10:04:08+00:00

Single mom makes a great plate. She doesn't expect you to support their babies.

Title	What's wrong with dating single moms?
Author	bsutansalt
Upvotes	83
Comments	155
Date	December 8, 2014 2:08 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2olslv/whats_wrong_with_dating_single_moms/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/whats-wrong-with-dating-single-moms.25998 https://theredarchive.com/post/25998

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