Wtf happened to men?

TheOGJammies · 2020-03-12T19:01:46+00:00

Internet Porn.

Yianna_F · 2020-03-12T22:18:38+00:00

PORN. Full stop.

Others have done an excellent job on explaining the rationale behind porn and how it has affected men and society in general.

I will therefore approach my input into this thread from a psycoeducation perspective and focus on resources that promote treatment, healing and recovery for all parties involved.

Prevention should be the first line of defence. Recovery from this addiction is the second.The best way to achieve this is through education on the effects of porn in your brain.

AskFDS and questions like this can assist people and parents broaden their understanding on porn and see how it affects young children and teenagers, who have been found to have their first encounter with pornographic material as young as 7 years old. The side-effects of porn are real, tangible and have life-long impact on individuals and their families. It's time we changed this narrative and broke the cycle!

I have included some support information and books on this issue both from a professional and personal/ lived experience perspective.

RESOURCES FOR SEX/AROUSAL ADDICTION

.

Gary Wilson, The Great Porn Experiment https://youtu.be/wSF82AwSDiU
Maria Ahlin, Let's Talk Porn https://youtu.be/DBTb71UzPmY
https://fightthenewdrug.org/porn-objectifies-women-men/
https://sanon.org/newcomers/is-s-anon-for-you/ (if you have been affected by someone's porn addiction)
https://www.healthline.com/health/pornography-addiction
https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/process-addiction/porn-addiction/#gref
Gary Wilson - Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction (book)
Matt Fradd - The Porn Myth: Exposing the Reality Behind the Fantasy of Pornography (book)
Barbara Steffens - Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal (book for partners)
George Collins - Breaking the Cycle: Free Yourself from Sex Addiction, Porn Obsession, and Shame (book by therapist who is himself an ex addict)
Kristen A Jenson - Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today's Young Kids (book for young children)

Balkanka · 2020-03-13T19:14:07+00:00

Escapism.

So many men in their 20s are so infantile. That’s where the terms Peter Pan and manchild stem from. They consume media and “toys” that, I feel, stunt maturity. Hobbies are not useful or productive, like vidya, capeshit, etc. Instead of being athletic or honing a practical skill or knowledge, they spend hours mashing buttons or consuming endless media like Disney. I know criticizing vidya on Reddit is like a mortal sin but at least I can be honest here.

The culmination of all these factors creates, imo, weak-minded men. No discipline, no ability to lead, no practical knowledge, no life skills, etc. those are things we look for in a partner, or at least women like me.

I can personally say that I have dated some men whom, for example, weren’t handy at all. I don’t mean like they can’t build me a log cabin. I mean they don’t even know how to unclog their own shit-jammed toilet or chop a damn onion at 34.

My father is an engineer, so I have learned a lot of things throughout my life, but it’s incredibly unattractive to me when a man is helpless or can’t react calmly and tactfully in the event of an emergency or the unexpected. I shouldn’t have to be the one constantly leading the ship. It’s exhausting bc I’m already expected to do all the domestic duties and emotional labor.

I’ve come across this much more in the west than where I’m from. But with the younger generation, things are changing for the worse. I think it stems from coddling and basically convenience consumer culture. You can call and pay a guy to do/fix anything, what’s the point of learning how to do anything on your own anymore amirite?

NecessaryCook · 2020-03-12T19:29:33+00:00

Porn

Less incentive to be responsible or husband material ever since the sexual revolution of the 60s. Free sex, so why bother-LVM logic

Mass media

Consumerism

Marriage going out of fashion (free pass to fuck around and idolize Leo DiCaprio)

Video games

A culture of violence

The normalization of toxic masculinity and macho culture

Flocking to pickup artistry, seduction, and manipulation tactics instead of developing good characters

Basing how you treat people on fuckability

Living off your moms/mommy issues

Being coddled and enabled to act like manchildren

Constant lying and manipulation in order to get sex-not straightforward about intentions

Lacking integrity

Having absentee fathers or bad fathers

Lacking ambition

Not being interested in being informed or educated

Obsession with watching other men play sports (similar to watching men have sex in porn). Self-motivated men would rather be out there playing the sports or having the sex.

Lack of exercise and lack of health-consciousness

Addictions

Lack of manners, politeness, and pleasantness in their dealings with people. Take pride in being assholes.

Trying to Peter Pan it up in your 20s and 30s and expecting to settle down with an inexperienced woman later

Trying to have your cake and eat it to

Viewing women with hostility instead of with love

Being stingy/cheapskates/misers/selfish

Lacking empathy for people different than you

Having no interest in being good dads

Prioritizing sex and partying over meaningful goals

spacebubbletea · 2020-03-12T20:31:17+00:00

Normalization of porn, promiscuity, lack of a good male role model

modernmedusaa · 2020-03-12T20:34:48+00:00

PORN - its completely out of control at this point and I'm bumping into various attractive educated women from my school who have sworn off men because of it and are choosing to stay single. I think even the men know something must be done about it at this point- when violent porn is being pushed on young impressionable people so aggressively....imagine your daughter meeting a guy into BDSM off an online dating app? Would you feel comfy with that, knowing the nature of most men? How can women and men have healthy intimate relationships when most men (even 'nice' ones) have a porn addiction that tricks them into thinking they're sleeping with hot women with huge fake boobs everyday? It completely fucks with their requirements for what gets off them off- and makes them think they can get way hotter women than they truly can...which fuels the recurrent issue of unattractive men constantly batting way out of their leagues and crying victim when they get rejected..just bc they have an overinflated view of themselves that the women they approach don't agree with.

How can they have healthy views to women when they're jerking off to fantasy videos of them being degraded and abused constantly? How can they bond with them properly at a deeper level with that buffer in the way shaving any remaining empathy off? Young girls having their eyes blinded by groups pf men ejaculating on them, women being slapped, choked, spat on and treated like a fucking rag doll in a dogs mouth. Like a parading fuck doll that exists just to spread her legs and smile at men. Its not real, it is not REAL life and its not what gets healthy sane women off being jackhammered constantly. They are paid actors and most of them don't actually enjoy or fully consent to what they're doing anyway. Its all over exaggerated for entertainment purposes. Most women in that industry are in dire mental/ financial circumstances and are doing it for the money- they have to film clips saying they consent to it so they get paid- even if it causes them pain/damage and they find it degrading. Many of them grew up in troubled homes and/or have substance addictions. Many of them are trafficked into it too. In Argentina there has been an uptick in little girls being stolen off the street to be sex trafficked, to meet the increased demand for younger and younger girls. But they're being shipped everywhere, all around the globe, especially to high society scrotes.

https://www.passblue.com/2016/01/24/no-longer-hidden-sex-trafficking-of-women-gets-more-attention-in-argentina/

https://www.change.org/p/shut-down-pornhub-and-hold-its-executives-accountable-for-aiding-trafficking

Please take at some of the documentaries about the realities behind the porn/ sex industry here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/wiki/approved_films

Also see the rise in hate choking, femicide and sex related deaths. Domestic violence has been on the rise, even in western countries. Men are using the 'rough sex gone wrong' defence to get away with murder pretending it was BDSM gone wrong

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/jul/25/fatal-hateful-rise-of-choking-during-sex

Also see the recent Grace Miller murder trial as an example of that- UK government is using it as precedent case (she was British but it happened in Australia) and are looking to ban rough sex as a defence. What happens if your future daughter, or your mother is murdered on a date and he claims 'rough porn sex gone wrong?' after refusing to let go when she said stop? Many violent male criminals have been found to have an obsession with grotesque porn, they even watch it after killing women- it dehumanises women and they see them as literal test dummies to abuse and dispose.

Women can't get on board with that shit- especially given porns link to sex trafficking- where young women are stolen off the street, drugged and raped before being sold and forced to fuck men against their will. The reality is that is happening on a daily basis- and you'd never know from a video which girls really been sex trafficked- since they'll kill or rape them if they don't comply...but most of those cam girls look sad if you look in their eyes. Its a crime against humanity and a war on womens dignity.

How can they stay faithful or see women as more than disposable sex objects when they're doing that day in day out, wrecking their penis and its ability to stay erect in the process? I've met various women in their 20s/ 30s who tell me they've seen a huge increase in young men with porn induced erection problems or just generally forcing porn shit on them like anal. I have seen cases of it too. Well seen as most men are a cheating risk- women can't be bothered keeping a guy around who's penis fails often due to his porn addiction. And they don't want to raise a kid with a man who has a porn addicted brain either, especially a young girl- hence the steep decline in birth rates everywhere. For every action there's a reaction. At 16 I found teen & mother/ daughter porn on my stepfathers computer. How uncomfortable do you think that made me feel, to know he was jerking off to girls my age when I was still developing and he wasn't even my dad (not that that would of made it any better)? Its paedophilia.....amazingly smart sensible women do NOT want to risk bringing men with paedophilic taste in porn around kids.

Porn has been proven to dull down mens dopamine receptors, and basically make them less intelligent and depressed. Once they escalate to the most extreme forms of porn they get bored and nothing IRL stimulates them anymore...they're just a lost coomer no sane woman would touch. Why would you actually risk dedicating decades of your life to a man like that? He's a lost cause, too much of a risk and likely to hurt you or cheat often.

sweatydeath · 2020-03-12T20:51:48+00:00

Their mommies shower them with compliments for doing basic tasks, and convince them they are a catch (usually without putting forth much effort). This goes to their heads and can lead to a dangerous level of entitlement. What these men fail to realize is that their mommy has to love them - other women don't.

00Starved00 · 2020-03-12T22:01:48+00:00

Men didn’t change, they are now how they have always been. Circumstances for women have changed which in most cases have made men more of a liability than a necessity. We don’t need them to survive anymore so, standards have changed.

RobotAmerican · 2020-03-12T22:35:23+00:00

Male IQs have been going down (probably due to bad low-fat diets of processed food and high-carb, nutrient-depleted man-made produce varieties). Aside from that, I'm going to side with The Last Psychiatrist and say that it has something to do with the rise of hedonistic narcissism that correlates with the cultural decline of men striving to have a family, care for them, and be a good example to them. Or just strive to take care of themselves at all by making a living or having a good lifestyle, really. I met many boys in college that had no ambitions or hobbies other than passively consuming free media and making tankie memes. They were extreme examples of slave mentality.

2020-03-14T06:05:27+00:00

Society stopped giving men a way to get role models, gave them constant excuses to use and encouraged them to exploit it.

Kimpractical · 2020-03-12T21:38:38+00:00

Men have always been shitty. Times have changed and so has technology, now they are just shitty in a different way.

2020-03-12T23:49:23+00:00

Men have always been defective, porn is making them somehow even worse.

https://icemountainfire.wordpress.com/2014/11/17/men-are-not-broken/

Sewud · 2020-03-15T18:37:41+00:00

They lowered the expectations for themselves and increased the expectations for women.

Nobodywantsdeblazio · 2020-03-12T21:00:28+00:00

I love this scrote poster flair too XD

logician01 · 2020-03-18T01:43:47+00:00

The previous generations of men were no saints they were still misogynistic and abusive but what happened to this generation of men to make them lip dick mentally ill useless scrotes :

P O R N

That’s what happened to them.

Hours of use is correlated to reduced gray matter in the prefrontal cortex. As a result many of them are dumb idiots that lose jobs, can’t take care of themselves, can’t get it up, become pedophiles etc etc.

Patriarchy was no help, they kept cheering each other on, telling each other and women it’s normal, targeting women a natural instincts to protect them and ourselves and causing us of being “insecure” or “crazy” while they all just got dumb and dumber. It’s a race for the dumbest.

ivy176 · 2020-03-14T11:13:21+00:00

I think people have always been this way, but dating apps, social media and porn have given them more ways to express their shittiness

Rabano11 · 2020-03-23T13:46:25+00:00

Just like women who occupy FDS have been hurt men who hurt women have been hurt. I’m on FDS and MGTOW etc and get both your points and then there are men and women who are straight up trash.

I’ve been very good to women and got hurt and no it wasn’t just in my head. I was kind, caring, listened, took these women on dates and the sex was good. That’s why they came back after cheating on me. But after being hurt I hurt women, drank too much, did drugs and these women can rightfully say I’m a trash human.

throwwwwawayayay · 2020-03-19T00:14:04+00:00

idk probably women telling men that they have to be manly and never show emotion starting from the time they’re young children and continuing throughout their life

Title	Wtf happened to men?
Author	Nobodywantsdeblazio
Upvotes	63
Comments	216
Date	March 12, 2020 6:31 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/fhl1tg/wtf_happened_to_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/wtf-happened-to-men.1068810 https://theredarchive.com/post/1068810

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