Bipolar

daproest1 · 2021-02-10T02:19:32+00:00

You’re going to destroy yourself if you stay with this girl.

srrp · 2021-02-10T02:26:49+00:00

Sounds like you need to break up with her. Fuck her and her bullshit.

Lift. Sidebar. Find some pride.

Tyred_Biggums · 2021-02-10T04:02:12+00:00

My gf has bipolar disorder

Not your problem

had some truly evil shit happen to her

Not your problem

Her parents are also going through a divorce

Not your problem

So I ask you this: Why are with this girl? Why do you feel the need to fix her?

It actually doesn't matter if you broke her or not. Sounds like you did likely by enabling her behavior. She lashes out -> gets your attention and save a ho white knighting. You built a bad reward loop.

Regardless, do not take on her issues. It just gets worse. You have one thing going for you and that's the fact you're not married.

Continue to work on yourself, continue to improve. And YOU - not me, not anyone else on this sub or in life - needs to decide where you draw the line and what life it is that you want to live.

hopeunseen · 2021-02-10T02:28:32+00:00

You wont fix her - this will be forever. Ask yourself if she doesnt change, is it still worth it to you? If not, move on for both your sakes

donmcde · 2021-02-10T03:04:23+00:00

Three years playing captain save-a-hoe and you haven't realized how fucking stupid that is? Are you really going to sacrifice your life at the altar of... what exactly?

PutABabyInThat · 2021-02-10T05:04:56+00:00

Yeah you got the right idea... better not let this one get away.

Diamond FUCKING hands bro!

Downtowndex72 · 2021-02-10T04:16:08+00:00

One time in the future you'll be playing her little "wrestle the knives away from me" game and one will slip. She will get cut and then you'll be arrested and charged with assault or maybe far worse. Ask yourself who the police are going to believe.

Save yourself.

HeckleandChide · 2021-02-10T23:42:07+00:00

Marry her. The sex will get back to how it was when you first met.

Have kids. The sex will get even better.

simbarlion · 2021-02-10T06:52:24+00:00

Let's say she's an 8 without bipolar, making her a 5 with bipolar IRL

And you're trying hard, maybe a 4.5 if you suck in the gut.

Could you get a real 8?

Would you be happy with an outright 5?

Is her juice worth the squeeze?

red-sfpplus · 2021-02-10T16:14:35+00:00

I bet she fucks like a champ thou...

UEMcGill · 2021-02-10T14:16:03+00:00

Intimacy is a lot better because of this sub but I need to be able to control this specifically. What am I missing? Am I fucking up in some way that causes this?

CALLING CAPTAIN-SAV-A-HO! CALLING CAPTAIN-SAV-A-HO!

u/Tyred_Biggums is spot on. Why do you feel the need to save this damsel in distress? Why are you such a presumptuous asshole that you feel it's your job to fix her? Why do you feel that she is incapable of taking care of herself? I'd recommend reading this little ditty on Caretaking versus Caregiving.

Now it’s almost been 3 years and I feel like I’m just this idiot chasing a fantasy that she’ll return to the woman she showed me before.

It's called the sunk cost fallacy. You see one little glimpse of her whole personality, and pine for those days. But the reality is you have the last 3 years should be your clue.

ArgentinaMRP · 2021-02-11T02:13:23+00:00

I really don't understand why with this girl? Really? Why, señor? This girl should have been a permanent plate, not anywhere close to promotion to a relationship.

Now it’s almost been 3 years and I feel like I’m just this idiot chasing a fantasy that she’ll return to the woman she showed me before.

Why do you feel the need to stay? Captain save-a-thot? Come on... Hit the sidebar.

What am I missing?

The work. You are missing the fucking work you need to do on yourself - not her.

NeoTheJuanDJ · 2021-02-11T03:30:48+00:00

Listen, man. One of best friend’s sisters growing up had Bipolar (not the TRP sub’s version of it with an “AWALT bro”, but real clinically diagnosed bipolar - cocktail of psych meds. shock therapy and all). Growing up, We watched her have abortions with five different guys by the age of 16, had to be thrown into a van by police and escorted to a 51/50 facility/ regab for six weeks because she was a suicide risk and no one including family was legally allowed to know details of why. expelled from elementary for trying to stab guidance counsellor, violent outbursts hitting her brother in public, and an attempted suicide every 3-4 months for basically ten years now consistently. It is never worth trying to make it work with these chicks. Picture zero self control and the closer the attachment she has with you, the greater the highs and lows. Those low points can literally be life and death for you if you’re her significant other. It’s not a matter of “don’t save her, they don’t want to be saved”, rather no matter what she or you or her psych doctor or anyone does CAN EVER save her. They are perpetually heading in a path of self destruction and doom. and anyone within their immediate sphere (no matter tough or “stoic” or “RP bro” you think you are) - you will go down with them. Stabbed, shot, alive, or not.

One of the toughest pills to swallow is that you need to let this chick burn. On her own. Let her do it. There’s nothing you can do to stop it and trying is futile. Besides, why do YOU have to be the guy that saves her? Why do you have to be the guy who goes down with her? Why would you even want to? Do you not have anything better to do with your time? Do you have no self respect or dignity? I remember one of the biggest RP’s I ever had in my life was me telling my mom about my friend’s sister having bipolar and she instantly went white as a ghost, stopped mid conversation, looked me dead in the eye and told me “never ever date a girl who is on meds”. Now, this might be a little extreme considering 1/3 girls between 25-45 are on some form of psych meds/ antidepressant, but in terms of bipolar (REAL bipolar not TRP subreddit AWALT Bipolar), BPD, etc. Fucking run. Bang them at your own parish. Commitment and investment? Fuck no. That’s basic NiceGuy shit. Not your hill to die on. And not to be over dramatic but statistically you might not make it out if you stick around for the long term. Move on. Lift, STFU, sidebar.

BobbyPeru · 2021-02-10T04:06:50+00:00

How do you know she is bipolar? Serious question.

mr4kino · 2021-02-10T10:30:36+00:00

Stop being a puppy and leave. Who cares if she is Bipolar or not, you are way too deep in the beta mindset. Read the sidebar of MRP and TRP, apply it, then you can think of being in a LTR.

mabden · 2021-02-10T15:38:14+00:00

Athol Kay - "You can't map medical."

MarcoDarco333 · 2021-02-11T16:25:50+00:00

I have read every single one of your comments and your words are not lost on me. I’ve just gone a long time with only a select few people in my life that give a shit about me and it’s hard to think that someone I’ve shared some of my most happy memories with won’t be there anymore.

My best friend from childhood has depression and I was there for him when he couldn’t get out of bed. He’s making bank now and has cleaned up his life. I don’t know I just thought that something similar would happen with this.

I realize now that ultimately the fact that I thought that was noble or strong of me was in fact weakness. Im going to grab NMMNG and start there because there’s clearly some mental stuff I have to fix.

2021-02-11T22:37:48+00:00

Six months after you end it she will post a progress pic of all the weight she lost after "ending a toxic relationship."

pumpkin4daddy · 2021-02-12T16:25:03+00:00

You can't save her. Save yourself.

RStonePT · 2021-02-16T13:04:15+00:00

Learn to stop using heroin bro, even if the heroin has great tits and fucks well

SteelSharpensSteel · 2021-02-16T20:11:10+00:00

My bro got involved with a bipolar girl once. That girl was seriously messed up, and messed up the relationship he had with his family. Why do you have to be capt-save-a-ho... do you feel some overwhelming responsibility to this girl?

Where is the "I'm a self respectable man and one of my qualifications for a life time partner is not being literally crazy"? You know, like having a girl who doesn't stab you...

Sure the sex might be great, but you're slowly killing yourself...

TakeHimRoundBack · 2021-03-01T20:57:55+00:00

I'm not veteran enough here to help you, but you are fucked three ways to Sunday. You need to take a step back from your girl and take it upon yourself to educate yourself on the situation you are in every way you can before taking action.

You need to draw on the manosphere Familiarise yourself with dangerous personalities in women Understand frame so you are not manipulated Develop frame so you can see what is going on. You sounds confused and 172% that is because you are either being manipulated out of the basic reality in front of you, or you are turning a blind eye. Either way holdin your frame will fix that.

Do all those things. And when you don't do any of them come back and complain about how you wish you did.

giustiziasicoddere · 2021-03-03T10:20:22+00:00

has had some truly evil shit happen to her that made her the way she is

Doesn't work like that: read "Tribe" by Sebastian Junger. Good people remain good, under duress - they might even become better. Maybe even "H factor" by those 2 Canadians scientific queers.

People don't "get bad due to bad experiences": if they do so, they've been like so from the get go. And you won't change them - unless there's a very strong societal framework who does so (e.g. Christianity).

johneyapocalypse · 2021-02-10T02:11:00+00:00

Okay, I'll approve.

If she wasn't like this when you met then it sounds like you're the cause.

That said you're kind of dense, huh?

DrPsychGainz · 2021-02-10T14:27:23+00:00

I suspect you are confusing bipolar and borderline. One is a medical condition where her central nervous system is literally overclocked for > 1 week at a time and then be burnt out for a few months and depressed. While common, this is rarely what people discuss online regarding people that should not be in relationships.

Bipolar = DIGFAST (Distractibility, Impulsivity, Grandiosity, Flight of Ideas/racing thoughts, Activity increase [goal-oriented, socially, sexually, occupation, etc.], Sleep deficit, Talkativity. Bipolar 1 means you have 3 of these for > 1 week and I'm talking like Kanye West levels of behavior. Bipolar 2 is mild and shorter spurts of Elon Musk-like behavior.

You PROBABLY mean borderline personality which is cluster B personality and largely untreatable until the person has completely destroyed their life already and has exhausted every person around them. A harsh outer shell with fragile ego inside that is primarily motivated by fear of rejection. You think you can fix that? You can't even properly identify or name what is wrong with her, much less find the resources or apply the skill to do it. How hot is she for you to throw your life away for that? Are you nuts? Are you not curious why you are pathologically codependent on a person who would otherwise be completely repulsive to a high-functioning, high-value male?

Don_Draper27 · 2021-02-10T16:30:29+00:00

Unless you're studying your experience to write a New York Times #1 Best Seller, you're living a toxic life and you're doing it to yourself.

"Waiting until things get better" is the same state of mind that so many men have when they stumble onto the pill.

You really don't owe her anything. That's the reality. If you're staying with her due to guilt then you're self-manipulating yourself.

"Control intimacy" is blue pill mindset. "Control" of anything besides your own actions is blue pill.

You REALLY need to read NMMNG.

Mental health is serious business and I can only speak from my experiences, but, in a way, you could be doing more harm than good by continuing to do what you're doing. You could be, in a way, encouraging her to continue to same actions and behaviors that are resulting in her mental meltdowns.

A disorder is nobody's fault, but it is 100% their responsibility. If she's not taking responsibility by missing therapy appointments or not taking meds then that's all on her, but sometimes, people need to be called out. People need to lose things and lay in the bed they make.

If you want to really help her (you really don't have to, there's professionals and family for that), then stop encouraging bad behaviors and bad choices.

Maybe if you leave her, she'll walk the f up and help herself, but don't consider yourself a messiah or savior.

But regardless of what you choose to do or how this girl ends up, your big problems are your blue pill mindsets of your tendency to control and "wait" for things to get better. And, ironically and comically, waiting and controlling (in your situation) aren't just toxic but they loop around each other in a way to make things even worse.

oldskoolflavor · 2021-02-10T16:33:29+00:00

Run like hell and never look back. You tried to help but we're all grown ups. Everyone needs to carry their own weight.

aussie_darrow · 2021-02-10T12:08:08+00:00

You should put a ring on that fast. She sounds like a keeper.

Title	Bipolar
Author	MarcoDarco333
Upvotes	7
Comments	45
Date	February 9, 2021 10:35 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/lgfdwl/bipolar/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/bipolar.1192479 https://theredarchive.com/post/1192479

Comments