I’m sure this is due to years of DEERing but there’s has been a lot of instances where when I try to STFU. It literally eats me away inside until I build a resentment and explode.

For example. The wife was sick with Covid last week. I took care of the kids. Told her to go rest. Picked her up some food and flowers. Because I wanted to. I knew she felt alone being quarantined and I wanted to make her feel special and they did made her so happy.

We’ll the next couple days of course I get the virus. She’s feeling much better so she takes care of the kids and such. Only she’s doing everything with attitude and yelling remarks from downstairs.

I stfu but My mind is saying. Are you serious? I encouraged you to go rest the least you can do is understand where I’m at here and not be a bitch about it.

But again. I stfu. Next day I wake up. Headache so bad I can barely see but our son wakes up. So I shut up and muster up the energy to cook him breakfast and get him comfortable.

Shortly after she comes downstairs. And hears him crying while I’m cooking for him. And says. “Why are you crying you never cry for me in the morning.”

My blood starts to boil and I want to say. Maybe Bc he isn’t feeling good Bc you weren’t wearing a mask around him when I told you to while I was at work. (She felt run down before we knew it was Covid and I told her to wear a mask around him incase it was Covid. But she insisted it wasn’t. And what do you know. It was.) But I stfu.

After I tell her I’m going to lay down. She comes up to grab her phone. I say come give me a kiss. And she goes. You didn’t give me a kiss this morning. And walks out.

I’m thinking you’re such a bitch. I could barely see and take the kid so you can sleep in and because you’d just leave him to cry if I didn’t do it. I literally took care of everything no questions asked to make you feel comfortable through all this and this is how you behave?

But I stfu. But it’s making me miserable and want to say something. I get this is probably a covert contract. But I’m not asking for anything other than being pleasant. Why is it bad to ask for that?

Now if I stfu and withdrawal my attention. She will come into bed to cuddle tonight and when I do my own thing. She will absolutely flip it on me. How I don’t love her enough. Or something of the sort.

How in the world can I STFU after that? I just have to stfu and boil inside while she walks around clueless of the annoying shit she does?

It’s causing me to dislike her. I see it as I Do things and get treated like shit. So then I don’t want to do them. Or Don’t do things and get asked why I don’t do things for her. And I have to stfu about all of this? How do you guys do this without wanting to snap?