26 and heading towards giving up. It does get better, right?

HurricaneHugues · 2019-08-04T02:53:41+00:00

"But here I now am at 26 and I still live at home, I have never had a girlfriend, never had a full-time job, haven't had a friend in 3 years, no savings, still mostly in the same routine as I was in years ago. I don't feel good."

Your problem ia that you're doing the same old stuff in the same pattern, while at the same time expecting different results. You can't keep planting pine nuts in the fall and expect to have blossoming orange trees in the spring. You reap what you sow. He who reaps the wind will sow the whirlwind.

Take care of your garden.

failingtheturingtest · 2019-08-04T04:22:33+00:00

No. It gets harder.

Life is fucking hard. Get fucking harder.

haughtyhay · 2019-08-04T02:54:41+00:00

Wanna start out by saying I’ve never been depressed, so take this with a grain of salt.

You wrote in the post why you’re depressed. It’s clear you know why you’re depressed.

Depression sucks because it’s paradoxical. It’s self-fulfilling.

Try to understand my words here: people with depression are depressed because they’re depressed.

Therefore, the only way to get out of depression is to become not depressed.

This is hard because, 1, quite frankly it doesn’t make any god damn sense, and 2, depressed people lack motivation.

The only causational characteristic of depression is a lack of motivation. To do anything, be it work or play. No hobbies, no passions, no social life because you just don’t feel like it.

Sadness, boredom, the nihilistic paradigms, these are all side effects of the one cause: a lack of motivation.

So, what I’m saying is, if I’m saying anything at all: gain some motivation, and you’ll find your depression cease.

Tips: - lots of exercise (like you said, the mental clarity and surges of dopamine) - refraining from masturbation. Set a schedule. Only five-to-one on sundays. No porn - fix your diet, and start waking up early. If you want confidence, it starts with self-integrity: actually doing what you say you’re going to do

If you want to keep being depressed, keep doing what you’re doing. It’s by far the easier way

uptimex · 2019-08-04T06:13:23+00:00

I am 31, at my 29 and 30, I was literally dead because of depressive toughts about not achieving anything etc. Then it happened to me I found a pretty girl, clothes model, 9/10, been with her a month and then broke up with her. Why did I break up? I just understood my power. And understood two important things: First, nothing is ever like you think. We never objectively see reality, reality is full of opportunities and the past or your age don't matter. You are not what you think you are and will never be. And the second, every day something changes, maybe you can't notice it, but you will have opportunities all the time, even if you turn all of them down now. You will have money opportunities, girls etc. It is the reality you believe in it or not. Abundance is real, scarcity mindframe is how we punish ourselves, trying to ignore and turning down opportunities.

HurricaneHugues · 2019-08-04T02:51:15+00:00

When you're going through he'll, it's always best to just keep on walking. You don't want to be in hell. You're just passing through

kayfab · 2019-08-04T03:27:31+00:00

You are so young and have so many things to learn brother, at your age i was wind full sails, but we all have different paths.

I finish IT college at 25 after going from 18 to 25 in dead end jobs. My main stupid focus was always women, finding a women etc.

I learn about the red pill at 41... i am now 47 and it took a long time to sink in.

What as work for me is passion, investing in things i love, i stop chasing women, going online dating etc... and a huge part of stress went away.

I have friends and we go out sometimes, but they have families and obligations i have none. So 90% of the time i am in true forced loneliness, but i occupy my time playing video games, listening to music, i have a home gym so i train at home, i take care of my pets, i also work 3 times per week so have a lot of free time, i go on walks go see movies etc..... and am almost always alone i don't mind.

It takes time to get used to all this, but most people i met tried to fuck me over, so i am far better off alone then with useless idiots with me.

To be honest i have not been bored in a long time. I always seem to have something to do to occupy my time.

.

FearGarbhArMait · 2019-08-04T03:13:11+00:00

Grow the fuck up.

You can't hold a job? Your fault. Don't have a girl? Your fault. Still at home? Yup you guessed it your fault.

Fucking take control of your life.

"To live is to suffer, to thrive is to find meaning in that suffering." - X

acp_rdit · 2019-08-04T03:13:55+00:00

I've had depression and anxiety

It must be nice having excuses for all of your failures that nobody is allowed to criticize without sounding like an asshole.

But since I'm an asshole I don't mind.

People who succeed do so in spite of their weaknesses and shortcomings, people who fail do so because of them. Decide which kind of person you want to be.

Warren_Bateman · 2019-08-04T05:57:17+00:00

It might get better.

But only if you buckle down and try to make it better.

Make a choice. if it’s to aim for something better, be prepared to make sacrifices.

thatguywhatshisface · 2019-08-04T06:37:10+00:00

I used to suffer from depression

. 1: get a job you somewhat enjoy, or don’t despise

2: exercise, yes it’s cliche, but it does help!

3: get off the pills, you can’t become happy on them, only neutral

4: change your diet

5: approach (this helps with social skills all round)

I still sometimes get depressed, but now I can manage it a lot better

adamxchris · 2019-08-04T04:27:51+00:00

Do Bold shit,You are young,You have no familly to work for,just leave job,And go traveling,find yourself first

daffy_duck233 · 2019-08-04T07:03:56+00:00

If you think you really have depression/anxiety, seek professional help. Celebrate every action that you take, beat yourself up with every action that you don't take. The only way forward is taking action consistently. Then remember that because of that consistency, the man you are today is better than the man you are yesterday.

ThedragonCarnage · 2019-08-04T07:56:56+00:00

Hi. I may not have anything new to add, but when i was 26 i was suicidal, and i posted on this very subreddit asking for help.

I am not even close to where my goals are now, but i am infinitely better. it DOES get better. there is always hope.

DreamsAwaken · 2019-08-04T08:07:18+00:00

Regarding living up to standards. Set your own. Define them. Write them down. Set goals. Not too big, because you need successes not failures. Start small and work your way up. I realize how this sounds but it's effective.

It's pretty common for people nowadays to be inundated with high standards. From watching friends over represent their successes and under represent their failures or the effort that went into their success over social media, to the standards that legacy media places on us. You might not even know what your standards are so to speak, so define them.

Bilderbergerwcheese · 2019-08-04T04:25:27+00:00

It is time.... You sound like you potentially have a chemical imbalance.

Have someone trustworthy evaluate you, a psychiatrist. Pay for 2 or 3 sessions, have them pick you apart inch by inch, tackling the root cause(s) of your depression/anxiety.

Solution: Prozac (Fluoxetine)- 20mg...

Take every morning for 60 days straight... Then, at 30-days and 60-days, get another meeting with the psychiatrist, have him evaluate your mentality, emotions, motives.

I've seen men in 20's and 30's completely lost with no hope, on the verge of seriously killing themselves, start taking prozac and the pleasure they start getting out life is remarkable.... Getting high paying jobs, building businesses, losing their virginity, making new friends, facing their fears....

Just 60 days. Then back to no prozac, but you will have much more memorable times.

Project_Zero_Betas · 2019-08-04T02:50:19+00:00

26 and heading towards giving up. It does get better, right?

So long as girls don't manipulate your life to the benefit of their beta orbiters and you don't meet someone like /u/observationalhumor who's convinced the solution to all of lifes problems is committing multiple felonies, yes.

Distractingyou · 2019-08-04T03:50:41+00:00

No savings show you are all talk and no action, if you actually had savings and had some self control over yourself you wouldn't complain about this part, you have no control and you waste your money on stupid hedonistic shit that at the end wont fix you and only feeds your nihilism making it worse, save money idk for what but it's going to help you in your mission, you are actually weak and you pretend you have learned shit but you haven't, have some self control man girls can't do it cause it's on their nature but you as a man you have more agency so do it dude not for me or girls but for yourself be better girls can't but you actually can.

Basically you don't have what it takes to be the man you want to be, to be that person you actually need to start saving your money and don't waste it on hedonistic bs, if you say it's cause a Lot of other bs then maybe you don't know how to spent your money, in that case improve your nutrition and sleep better so you improve your inteligence and mental health in general.

Lambdal7 · 2019-08-04T06:38:23+00:00

You just need to approach 300 attractive girls, get rejected by 200, have a nice conversation with 100, get 50 numbers, 20 dates, 5 times sex and have 3 gfs to choose from.

bluepillcarl · 2019-08-04T06:50:01+00:00

I have an uncle who is 50 years old and still lives with his parents. Never worked a day in his life. But guess what? He bangs bitches. Hot ones too. He goes to the nightclubs almost every other night and works out 5 days a week. He is in great shape because he works out and eats well.. still lives in the basement of his parents house and has never left.

thrwy75479 · 2019-08-04T07:14:42+00:00

I want you to make a small change in your life by simply accounting for your time, which is the most important resource you have, since, for now, it's the only thing that cannot be bought.

Start keeping a diary. In that diary, note down how much time you allot to different activities during the day, e.g., "surfing reddit"; 4 hours. Note that down, and include a brief summary of what you did that day, including how you felt, what time you woke up, and when you slept, etc.

At the end of the week, going across each day, add up the hours to get a picture of where your time went during the week. Also, add a few notes about how the week went, and things you'd like to do next week.

Make it a habit. After a few months, come back, and share with us how it's going.

kraken9911 · 2019-08-04T07:31:10+00:00

I was very similar to you when I was 24. Realized nothing was going to fucking change magically so I joined the military and did a six year contract. Travelled across the country and went on a lot of adventures. I now live in Asia post-military continuing on with my unorthodox life.

creamymoe · 2019-08-04T07:42:58+00:00

It gets better, when YOU get better.

[deleted] · 2019-08-04T08:00:23+00:00

I'm 26 and feeling the same pretty much mane, I'm tired of this superficial world.

Ohboohoolittlegirl · 2019-08-04T08:15:59+00:00

Get out of that victim mentality and make a change. A change means doing things different than you have done before. Else it's a half hearted attempt.

Stop making excuses and do it.

nidham21 · 2019-08-04T08:39:21+00:00

Start slow , don't push yourself in the start or u will get bored, find an exercise that you enjoy, and don't stop trying to make ne friends. Hope this can help a little.

LeEbinConchShell · 2019-08-04T08:54:23+00:00

hey dude 28 here. i know all those feels. you have to do something called manufacture a crisis in your life so you HAVE to deal with the deficits. It can be as simple as deliberately moving out with savings and suffering on your own, just to endure the baseline of a shitty existence, it can be moving to a different country, etc etc. You have to position yourself in such a way that you have no choice. its either stack or starve, sink or swim. that will give you the exigence, the urgency to do something. You're in an environment where you aren't absolutely required to evolve, to take accountability, you get what im saying. Another basic example would be joining the military. you gotta learn to suffer. from the suffering you will be compelled to get better or continue to suffer.

Life has no inherent purpose or meaning, no matter what anyone says. If you're intelligent, you'll come to this conclusion yourself. Every man needs vice and some kind of """religion"". You need to viscerally understand life as suffering and then you can build from there, in whatever direction you decide. It is entirely up to you. You can just "get by," or you can pull a jeff bezos. Its totally up to you, but as long as you have a safety net there is obviously no compulsion for you to do anything different. Why would there be?

WahmynsLoveGlobohomo · 2019-08-04T09:02:52+00:00

I can help you a bit.

Go lurk for a couple of days in the MGTOW subreddit, then you will solve your worry about not having a girlfriend.

theislander849 · 2019-08-04T09:18:09+00:00

But here I now am at 26 and I still live at home

I lived at home until 24. Not the end of the world, dude.

I have never had a girlfriend

Why do you want a girlfriend? ... or do you want the ability to choose wether you actually want one or not? That's a different thing. I don't have a girlfriend right now. I don't want one, either. Why would I commit to a girlfriend if I can hook up with a different girl every 2-3 weeks or so?

Having a girlfriend is the most overrated thing society pushes on men. It's basically marriage lite.

never had a full-time job

Now, this one is a straight up choice. Go fucking get one, goddammit.

haven't had a friend in 3 years

This one is also on you. Just go out and talk to people, man. Everyone wants to talk. I honestly can't recall the last time I couldn't actually start a conversation with a random person I've never met.

still mostly in the same routine as I was in years ago

It seems you came here to bitch about your problems... you just told us the answer. Why are you here, exactly? Are you looking for validation? If that's the case, you came to the wrong place, bud.

and have been interviewing for roles since.

Send out 3 resumés per day until you get a job in your desired field.

3 per day, every day, until you get the job.

Don't forget to come back here and tell us you got it.

Then let us know which gym you decided to join, and how many new people you decided to meet that week.

NorsemanLewis · 2019-08-04T09:25:48+00:00

Honestly, I can't add too much to differ from all these good comments. However, I'll drop this short one here; I guess it's time to pick up "Cant hurt me" by David goggins, read it like 4 times, one after the other, and learn this dude's life. From all the things I've been through, his book was definitely my best investment in myself. My mindset shifted drastically, and even today, half a year after reading it, I still find new things within myself.

Mind you, I've been on the same boat. "Got the game at 20, 5 years later, did anything change much?"

Max_Wing · 2019-08-04T09:36:24+00:00

This is a thing of discipline.

My recommendation go to the gym. Have a FIX gym plan. If you do miss one day, punish yourself by not doing what you would love to do. If you play video games, then only be allowed to play if you achieve certain things on a day.

If you regulary hit the gym, you will notice that it is not worth the time investment, if you do not get the right amount of nutrients. This will automatically lead to more discipline in your diet.

Also stop running too much. It‘ll lower your testosterone, which seems like to be too low at this point already. Also stop fapping everyday, if you do it. Have anxiety problem, but fap every day? Yeah.

Go out of your comfort zone. If you have no money to travel to another country then go camping with a backpack and bike.

When nothing makes sense, you gotta escape. Your thoughts and habits wont change if you dont change your environment.

Delete social media, stop playing video games, stop watching Tv and start reading books instead.

It all lays in your hands brother. You‘re asking for help, but you gotta be the change. Identify your problems and change your habits accordingly.

EDIT: Btw the worst thing you do to yourself is saying that you are depressed and that you have anxiety. Because that‘s basically the reason why it will not disappear. It‘s a death cycle. Telling yourself that you are depressed makes you even more depressed.

TexAs_sWag · 2019-08-04T09:37:20+00:00

My life didn’t start becoming fun until 30+. You’re in for a wild ride. You better spend these next 3+ years preparing for a world you’ve never dreamed of.

adam-l · 2019-08-04T10:10:17+00:00

Depression is almost impossible to overcome by yourself. Get help.

korben_manzarek · 2019-08-04T10:46:50+00:00

Sounds like you have some clear goals and motivations but have a hard time setting up the habits to make the progress in your life that you want happen. Read James Clear's 'Habits' blog, maybe it will help you.

jm51 · 2019-08-04T10:50:52+00:00

Try this:

First thing every morning, write down 3 things for you to accomplish that day. Keep it easy to start with. Three 5 to 15 minute tasks to get you in the habit of achieving 3 goals per day.

optimase_prime · 2019-08-04T14:08:46+00:00

I’d recommend reading 12 rules for life by Jordan Peterson. It helped me when I was in a very low place in my life.

phoenix_md · 2019-08-04T14:11:44+00:00

Alright man, here is the key to being successful. Ready?

1. Be responsible

2. Show initiative

That’s it man. That’s all it takes. As a physician who makes over a half million a year, I can tell you far to many people fail to do #1 and even fewer do #2.

So find a job, preferably one in a field you like. Show up to work early. Don’t take sick days for BS issues. Listen to your boss and make him happy. If you see something that could be improved, do it. Then let your boss get the credit. Find joy in the work you’re doing (it’s there; just create a positive narrative in your head). Build a network of like minded friends. Very soon you’ll be promoted. Keep being responsible. Keep showing initiative.

This formula works whether your flipping burgers or in a profession.

menial_optimist · 2019-08-04T15:23:41+00:00

You're experiencing something called "reality" a.k.a. "adult life". It's the sudden realization the party is over, and that now's the time to make sacrifices career wise in order to grow up. There's a reason why partying in your early 20s is a phase. It's not sustainable, and after a few years of it you realize the 2 day hangovers are just not worth it. You realize there's a lot more to life to explore than just drinking shitty booze, and suddenly you and your friends drunken antics seem immature and yesterdays news. You realize no one really gives a fuck about you except your family (if your lucky) and maybe a handful of actual close friends in a sea of acquaintances.

BajaGhia · 2019-08-04T15:30:40+00:00

Get the fuck out of the nest. You need to risk the fall before you'll stretch your wings and fly.

Get a piece of shit cheap rental and a basic job that will cover the rent and utilities and food. Ride a bike to work. No socializing type stuff. No booze or other entertainment. Suffer and get resilient and able to solve problems.

Then either school at night or part time job at night that furthers yourself somehow. Don't be the guy working night shift at 7-11, but working at Home Depot let's you learn a shit ton about tools and home improvement. Apply yourself. It's harder to apply yourself when there aren't consequences.

If you don't think you can do this, just join the military while you still can. Maybe they can turn mommies boy into a man.

nobody_thinks · 2019-08-04T16:00:11+00:00

what do you do with your time?

Casanova-Quinn · 2019-08-04T16:17:17+00:00

Focus on one thing at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself.

Get a full time job
Move into you own place
Improve your health and exercise
Explore hobbies and social activities

This won't happen quickly, but over time your life will get better. Nothing worth having is easily acquired.

_vedantt1_ · 2019-08-04T16:20:06+00:00

Don't give up yet dude. You sure need some Clarity to get few things done and also to resist few things but Will and mindset is the key. Keep trying bro you'll get results. Keep working towards light whether you feel the light or not rn, keep head high, hopes high, standards high. Now Plan what you ought to do and darn stick to it! Slowly follow the new Plan step by step, your old thinking patterns, thoughts n reactions will start erasing itself. When erase the old ones, new ones with new objectives and plan will grow there. Have a great life :) Stay grateful and smiling.

_vedantt1_ · 2019-08-04T16:38:30+00:00

Ever saw Tokyo Ghoul? There's this 'Rize Kamishiro' and hers is the best advice I've ever heard.,

"All of the disadvantages in the world stems from a person's lack of ability"

And I couldn't Agree more.

BombasticBobby · 2019-08-04T16:40:38+00:00

I'm have some things in common with you although I'm 19 years old. I have had very few friends throughout my entire life. I didn't hang out with anybody for the duration of the summer (until yesterday) and how I experienced depression was an inescable boredom. Socializing is absolutely vital for mental health and is useful to keep your wits sharp. At the start of this year I was in a bad situation that ended up giving me PTSD. I was extremely anxious and was afraid of twitching, both combined made a negative feedback loop and I ended up dropping almost all of my classes.

Something that has helped me is getting an app tracker (which might not be applicable to your situation) that locks individual apps after I use it certain amount of time. It was also important for me to set a time limit on productive apps so I didn't burn myself out. I started to read daily and up to 80 minutes once or twice a week. If this aligns with your interests then, I would recommend "YourHour" on android.

You sound very boring and write yourself as very pathetic creature; you complain and blame and in doing so prevent yourself from making any real progress (depression, anxiety, indentity issues (which is related to not doing anything), holding down a job). Have you seen that anti-drug ad that has a blob of a girl sitting on a couch and that's all she does anymore? That's what your identity issues remind me of. Get a full-time job somewhere so you can hone your conversation skills. "85 percent of one’s success in life is directly due to communications skills."

"Quarter life crisis", did it take the whole five years to come up with that phrase or did you steal it? First time hearing of "doomer" and am inexperienced with "exisitentialism". I am not sure how you view nihilism but it is in my experience that cursing (or in your case, saying it's too hard because of ______ and _________ and on paper it's my fault but I really didn't let years of my life slip through my fingers, it was _______ and _______) existence will get you nowhere and will teach you how to hate deeper. If you're looking for meaning, crawl yourself out of your cozy little hole and create your own life, then, express yourself from the heart to rid it from any thievery. You will find meaning in the challenge.

It sounds like your essentually just getting high during your runs but at least your working out and hopefully you didn't make it sound like you do regularly

How many interviews have you done and how long ago did you start? (This is rhetorical question. I don't give a fuck about your very minor accomplisment. The point I'm making is get of your ass if you are ashamed to share)

DubbleFUPAwitCheez · 2019-08-04T17:08:44+00:00

It sounds like you know exactly what to fix. All that stuff making you feel bad is your brain telling you to fix it. It's ok to fail, it's not ok to give up.

Bigboyleggos · 2019-08-04T17:11:27+00:00

Are you one of those guys doing it "the right way"?

People are generally conflicted by my situation. I check all the "failure" boxes on the "doing it the right way" checklist yet...

-I have a nice house that I remodeled with my bare fucking hands. -I have a nice truck to tow my jeep -I can build anything with wood and my steel/aluminum fabricating skills are solid. -Im great with kids -my retirement fund is killin it and my house is almost paid off.

Heres how I got here the wrong way.

I left the nest a few weeks before my 18th birthday, I never questioned it or considered how my parents felt about it. I was working 2 jobs when i graduated highschool in 04, i had money, I hated the idea of college and my parents wouldnt stop talking about. 2 weeks after graduating I show up at mom and dads to pack my stuff, they sat me down and asked if i was excited to start my classes in the fall and made it clear that i could stay with them rent free till i graduated. I packed my shit and left. I spent 2 years avoiding my parents, i stuggled financially but refused all offers for help. Ive taken classes on & off but have no degree, the last 3 years ive taken a few business & phsyc classes for my own reasons.

My brother & sister went to college, did it the "right way". They graduated & spent a year or 3 fucking off, both are doing well now but struggle with drive and purpose.

A couple personal examples, Parents will:

*Tell you college is absolutely necessary to succeed.

Imo, college is great if your passion requires a degree, it will also teach you a lot about life and the world but if your not confident in your path it can hinder growth and authenticity. Do you know what you want to do? If your not certain go do somthing, frame houses, bartend, live in a camper & sell hugs... anything but sitting on your ass dwelling in uncertainty and following a vision thats not yours.

Take risks.

I have flown two states away to buy a 1975 1/2 ton pickup for $1000 and drive it home. I spent 5 days, $750 on parts, hours wrenching in parking lots to get it 1000 miles home.... fucking epic summer vacation! Did most turn their nose up at my "wasting of time & money" yes. Fuck all, i had a great time!

Dangerous shit aka living life. "Motorcycles and jeeps are dangerous and a poor investment" the crabs say.

Fuck the chances of me crashing my bike

Fuck the chances of me being eaten by a bear while camping remotly.

Fuck the chances of getting t-boned as I slam second gear, engine screaming & tires blazing as making that left turn in my topless, doorless jeep. If it happens ill die with a shit eating grin.

I know without a doubt that a quiet life with a safe job, safe car, safe hobbies will lead to a long physically healthy life of misery.

The guy that waits 10 min at an intersection for the safest opurtunity to make a left in his honda odyssey IS already DEAD, dead inside. Ive had a dark peroid or two, Ive been there, its awful.

When its time to make a left turn at a buisy intersection... be the guy that revs the jeep up to 3k rpm, dumps the cluch, throttle to the floor, slam second and takes that tiny gap tires blazing.

When my sister in law asks if the jeep is safe for my 8 year old nephew I smile & nod. Then let him run the steering wheel on back roads. Last time they visited I did a couple burnouts with the kid, 2nd gear brake stand, engine on the rev limiter, kid laughing in the passenger seat. Were both giggling as we wipe the melted rubber boogers off the inside of the windshield. I showed him how to mske the 🤘. Then we did a second burnie. when his mom asked why he smelled like smoke the kid whips out a shit eating grin, the 🤘 and says "BURRRRNNNOOOOOUTS MA!". His dads is a fantasy football kind of guy, i do what i can for the kid.

How does this apply to you, OP? People will go out of their way to give you a brow beating Because your ENJOYING things they wish they had the balls to do.

🤘, the horns, YOUR HORNS, show them off! Rock that devilish side, the side that goes against the vision mom has, the vision your old man has and whatever the fuck our society says is right. Once you get there, the drive and motivation to do anything you want will be there. It wont be hard to succeed, it will be necissary to continue living an awesome life.

Your idea of sucessfull sounds like a canned statement, from a comercial, for an online college. Go find your 🤘.

Best of luck.

winjaturta · 2019-08-04T17:33:51+00:00

Theres a certain insanity in asking random strangers if your life will get better. No one on the face of the planet can answer that except you.

Son0fMan · 2019-08-04T17:57:25+00:00

(I'm realizing this could be it's own post but...whatever...

tl;dr - accept responsibility for your life, take action, build competence, and that competence will turn into mastery which will in turn develop your inner confidence. confidence = respect and admiration from your peers and hope. stay disciplined.)

hey brother I'm glad that you posted this here. you needed to see the assholish responses of a lot of the douchebags here, not because their 'tough love' angle is actually effective but rather to open your eyes to one reality...for the most part no one cares. (and I emphasize 'for the most part' because the world is truly not as cynical as most here would have you believe.) at the end of the day you are the one who has to live with your choices and you are going to have to take responsibility for your own life.

I found myself in your exact shoes some time ago. as someone (who's never been depressed) so expertly told you, depression is about a lack of motivation. but not really. what comes before the lack of motivation? a lack of hope. in my experience that is the core of depression - and it's going to take a bit of self work to manage but it's completely doable.

first - meditate, my friend. bring a nonjudgemental awareness to your thoughts and feelings for just twenty minutes a day. focus on your breathing, perhaps even repeat an inspirational mantra every now and then. next comes the hard part.

if anyone comes to me for advice on life it is almost always the same : it starts with taking responsibility for your life. this can be difficult to truly internalize because it means you are to blame for you life. it hurts to recognize that you had the agency to change your life for the better - but here's the kicker - once you do this you open a new door. hey! I have agency over my own life, anything's possible! tell yourself that. internalize it. the power of attraction is real, my friend.

once you decide to take responsibility next you can take a hard look at your life and decide on what you want and what you enjoy and/or are proficient at. how important is money to you? how important is status? friendship? begin taking the steps - even if baby steps - in the right direction to achieve these things. maybe your goal is financial stability? maybe to achieve this you want to go back to school? here you can start by applying for financial aid and looking up programs. at this point you dont need a concrete longterm goal, just a general idea that you can begin working towards and developing as you move on. maybe you've decided the people in your life are most important to you. send a text or make a call even if you dont feel like it. eventually these baby steps you are taking will begin to add up and culminate in a feeling of you know what? I'm at least on the right path here and I can be proud of myself for that.

stay focused. stay diligent. stay DISCIPLINED.

all the while continue meditating. continue bringing an awareness to those negative thoughts and patterns. those self defeating feelings of boredom, hopelessness, the void or whatever have you. recognize them for what they are. just thoughts and feelings. this is excellent work for when you fall off the horse.

finally, everythings gonna be alright buddy. the fact that you posted here shows an initiative to want to change your life.

you can do it.

EDIT: One more thing - stop comparing yourself. period. comparison is the thief of joy. delete instagram, facebook, take a break from reddit if you have to. just focus on being the best you that you can be.

zboo1h · 2019-08-04T19:07:07+00:00

Life gets better if you make it better. You get better at what you do, so if you sit around jacking off playing video games you will get great at it, and nothing else.

Focus on your health, your physique, your social circle, your career - grow all of these. My life at 26 was great, I loved it, but it is so much better now a few years later, and I have nothing but hope for the next decade and beyond.

Title	26 and heading towards giving up. It does get better, right?
Author	321cmecum
Upvotes	114
Comments	100
Date	August 4, 2019 2:40 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/clrbg2/26_and_heading_towards_giving_up_it_does_get/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/26-and-heading-towards-giving-up-it-does-get.248684 https://theredarchive.com/post/248684

Comments

"But here I now am at 26 and I still live at home, I have never had a girlfriend, never had a full-time job, haven't had a friend in 3 years, no savings, still mostly in the same routine as I was in years ago. I don't feel good."

Grow the fuck up.