A once in a lifetime reminder: Confidence attracts beauty.

Nchill7 · 2021-02-15T01:55:23+00:00

What if I'm socially awkward, ugly, and not rich?

FetJuel221 · 2021-02-15T02:35:19+00:00

good looks generate confidence

Imyourdad101 · 2021-02-15T04:59:52+00:00

Confidence is bullshit.

Most people don't even understand what confidence is on a deep psychological level.

NaturalConnect · 2021-02-15T05:33:47+00:00

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2021-02-15T06:34:31+00:00

I saw these comments nearly daily on these kind of subreddits and i find it very superficial. First of all, most people consider like we're superior on every level from the rich guy other than the wealth which is rarely the case. If you're rich you can: -take better care of your look -have more interesting hobbies because basically you can invest in them -get better education and thousand other things.

You said a good looking confident but broke guy would have more luck with girls than ugly, socially awkward rich guy. But it is almost never the case. World is not that black and white. In most of the cases, you'll have a similar look to the rich guy and he'll be more successful because of the other advantages of him. I'm not suggesting that women only get attracted to rich people, but wealth, if you are not a complete idiot, can put you several steps ahead of your competitors because of the reasons i mentioned above.

CenaSmackDown · 2021-02-14T21:58:36+00:00

Takes the bus? I think you're overvaluing confidence. Not many women are going to seriously date a guy with a bus pass unless they live in a big city like New York where it's common

MakeSail · 2021-02-15T05:21:31+00:00

From a big picture standpoint this post, is like many others on this sub, focused on how men need to step up and address their behavior to attract women. While at the same time saying we should treat women as people.

I think implied in this is, women "as people" have just as many dating, personal development and relationship challenges as men. The post, in a way, is contradictory in this regard. That is, it attempts to remove this pedestal concept in young men, but still not seeing women as an equal partner in attraction or conversation.

Dating, and especially conversation, is important for both partners from the standpoint of understand if there is mutual attraction and the opportunity for connection. So, "The Whole Secret" in the post falls way short of what men need to know and do. Don't say what you feel, don't say what you want (randomly?), you need to focus on understanding who she is as a person, identifying her needs, and at some point in the conversation you will have to identify what you want and pursue it.

Conversation with women is not mindless banter.

MentalCelOmega · 2021-02-15T03:12:51+00:00

Oh no, I'm coping, I'm gonna cope.

Ramanticasf · 2021-02-15T01:39:20+00:00

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swagnake · 2021-02-15T11:04:03+00:00

Confidence is overrated. I mean, it is an important trait and without confidence it's very hard to attract women, but it doesnt mean just being confident is enough to succeed in everything related to dating life. You can be both good looking and confident and still have failures with women. No matter how attractive, successful and confident you are, if she can't develop an interest/feeling toward you, she wouldn't want to date you. I am a good looking guy and I'm confident when i approach women, but i have my successes and my failures. I just don't like the fact that in every seduction related discussions, people will always say "just be confident and you will always get the most attractive women, blah blah....". No, confidence is not an overpowered magic spell, it will not solve every problem, people need to accept that you need more than that in dating life.

Plebe-Uchiha · 2021-02-15T01:35:10+00:00

Say it louder for the people in the back!!!

However, I must add that confidence isn’t everything it’s just the most important ingredient. Money, status, security all matter but confidence is the most important one. [+]

tru3boy · 2021-02-15T04:10:07+00:00

Not trying to impress a woman or better yet people in general is sound advice. Am working on it myself.

NoDumFucs · 2021-02-15T03:18:17+00:00

I have accepted and loved a single flower from a weed more than any grand floral display..

It was the here.. a pretty flower for pretty girl subcontext instead of LOOK HOW MUCH MONEY I CAN SPEND ON HER EVERYONE... LOOK!!!!

gowatchanimefgt · 2021-02-15T07:09:23+00:00

Why all these types of posts always have this kind of format..what’s this style of writing called or did they just copy it from other people with similar posts?

elenav33 · 2021-02-15T08:25:34+00:00

At a risk of been unpopular I would really disagree with the above statement. I guess this would be true for a certain type of relationship within certain sociodemographic. Personally i call the guys that you have described above “Bullshit artists” and would not have a time of the day for them. As there is absolutely no grounds for that super inflated confidence. Personally Im more interested in a man who is driven, has been able to archive his own goals, can demonstrate integrity and is not out there trying to impress someone or appear likable. + other factors. However if your goal is just to get into someones panties and you prepared to play a numbers games then I agree that your argument has some ground.

HeavenPiercingMan · 2021-02-15T11:16:32+00:00

This is false. This advice will never land a woman over 30, that has something going for her.

Thespecial0ne_ · 2021-02-15T14:24:14+00:00

The basic problem is that people know neither how to have confidence in themselves nor how to retain it.

They have spent their whole lives being insecure and their mind + comfort zone makes them unwilling to change and if they try they soon return to the same place.

cunningcaring · 2021-02-15T15:19:06+00:00

So you say, but this is not my experience, so I don't think you know what you're talking about.

Key_Picture_4951 · 2021-02-16T18:34:08+00:00

You're leaving out the part of needing raw charisma, storytelling skills, escalating right, saying something cool/creative but not excessive, not being weird, touche comebacks, avoiding awkward silences, and having an attractive voice. Improving these skills requires does the guy to be slightly self-conscious.

No hate, I'm just trying to be constructive. Watch angrypicnic on Youtube and tell me that game doesn't matter. It's not the pickup line necessarily but how suave you carry the conversation after it.

It's good to let loose but she needs to think you're fun at the end of the day. That's the practical aspect of game. It helps quiet guys not be a dud (despite enjoying their solitude). Some guys just need heavy introspection. Being completely themselves may not work. You can be confident but boring.

Also see this: https://www.reddit.com/r/socialskills/comments/4c5qrf/how_to_be_socially_skilled_pt8_charisma/?utm_source=amp&utm_medium=&utm_content=post_body

Lastly facial aesthetics and career goals matter too.

Confidence is key but it's not a magic pill.

Pringles__ · 2021-02-15T13:58:00+00:00

It's important to be confident, it allows you to be real and that's the most important asset in seduction. However, girls are not attracted by confidence per se.

Let me explain this with an example.

Let's say you are trying to sell a Renault Clio (a car).

- If you sell it by saying that you just want to get rid of it, you may get a seller but you won't get a lot for it.

- Now, if you sell it as it being a very reliable car, that it never failed you and that you love it, you may attract more sellers and can ask more for it.

Confidence (& esteem) in your car allows you to sell it to a 1/ larger public, 2/ at a higher price, because you sell your car as it is, as you experienced it.

However, a lot of people won't be interested in a Renault Clio. Probably they need a bigger car or they are not attracted by the look of your car. But that's okay.

Now, let's imagine you are trying to sell a Volkswagen Polo instead of a Renault Clio. First, you'll have more confidence in selling that than a Clio. Second, you'll certainly attract more customers, regardless of the confidence you have in your car.

So, although confidence plays a big role, it ain't what attracts girls.

Confidence just gets rid of the negative mindset and that you are not selling yourself just to "get rid of your celibacy".

You are selling yourself because you have a set of assets and you are looking for someone who is ready to put the price for it.

For that, confidence per se is not enough. If you want to attract more and better customers, your lifestyle must follow. If you are boring, lazy, and unemployed, don't be surprised to attract people with the same characteristics.

Astrotheurgy · 2021-02-15T00:55:54+00:00

I'll tell ya one thing, I'm attractive, take great care of myself, work on my mind/body/soul daily, exercise, have many hobbies of substance, am eloquent in my speech, am very intelligent yet humble/modest, am open minded yet firm in who I am, and I don't have the best job of all time due to certain circumstances, and I cannot tell you when the last time I had any girl come off as interested, nor have I heard any girls who actually likes me from others. Now not to say it's not happening, nor am I looking for anything in particular, but what you said doesn't seem to be the case in my world. Maybe I'm missing something? Lol

Sawt0othGrin · 2021-02-15T04:38:51+00:00

Needed this homie

shwirpy · 2021-02-15T06:32:58+00:00

How do you type like that?

Btreeb · 2021-02-15T09:04:58+00:00

I noticed that when I interact with girls out of my league (I know the league doesn't exist but added it for context), I approach them without any expectations at all. I have no rush getting their number or meeting them and just can just be myself.

The result. We talk for a while and I ask for their number in a direct way. When I interact with girls in my league there is this "I should not fuck this up voice" and I probably act 'different'.

blue_brownie · 2021-02-15T12:59:45+00:00

for women this works too? Will it look desperate? Like caring too much? Cause I’ve been nothing but openly expressing my feelings.

Kirbysssauce · 2021-02-15T13:33:53+00:00

As a girl, this is totally true. Yeah, most of us are looking for someone who has a Job, a career, whatever. But we can never resist a confident guy, even if he’s broke; the atractiveness of a condifent guy will always drive us crazy. Im pretty sure is something related to evolution and the provider male.

2021-02-15T14:14:04+00:00

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tibles20 · 2021-02-15T19:19:58+00:00

Not sure about over confidence

StevenConfident · 2021-02-17T00:18:49+00:00

As a wise man once said: "Faint heart never fucked fair lady."

magobeast · 2021-02-17T05:25:41+00:00

22yo guy who lives with his parents, works as a security guard and takes the bus. My girl's a perfect 10 tall blonde model. Can attest that confidence and talking to her like an equal was key. Still, you have to look at this case by case.

Title	A once in a lifetime reminder: Confidence attracts beauty.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	860
Comments	90
Date	February 14, 2021 8:02 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ljw2aj/a_once_in_a_lifetime_reminder_confidence_attracts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-once-in-a-lifetime-reminder-confidence-attracts.1509856 https://theredarchive.com/post/1509856

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