A shit test is a sort of conversational trap. It’s typically used as a sorting mechanism, to weed out beta males, though they also appear sometimes in LTRs as a means of adjusting the power dynamics in the relationship (She’ll ask “Does this dress make me look fat?” you’ll look, bam, you’ve failed the test, and now you have to buy her chocolates, which incidentally will make her fat).

Shit tests are most easily recognized by being a scenario where there appears to be no right response. For instance, you’ve been talking to a girl at a bar for about 20 minutes, she says it’s her birthday (and let’s assume she’s telling the truth) and says “Will you buy me a birthday shot?” If you answer Yes, you’re now her doormat chump. If you answer No, you’re the tightwad asshole she’s about to tell her friends and the rest of the bar to avoid. What to do?

Most guys when faced with this sort of Lose/Lose scenario think the way out is to be clever or funny. You and your mates might think your comeback is super funny. Too bad you weren’t being tested on being funny.

It’s All in the Frame

The girl is not actually asking you a question. Remember, she is using the scenario as a sorting mechanism. She doesn’t want to know if you’re going to buy her a shot (okay, maybe that’s a secondary goal), or if you have a funny reply. She wants to know if you’re an unworthy beta male who needs to be kicked to the curb. The question is not the real test. Instead, she is asserting her frame and testing to see whether her frame will dominate your interaction.

Her frame is the test, and simply by taking it you fail. There is no right answer to the test, it’s pre-marked with a failing grade.

The way to handle the situation is to re-assert frame dominance. You don’t take the test because she’s not allowed to test you. The easiest go-to way of rejecting the test is Jeffy’s technique, “Irrelevant.” It’s good when you’re in a jam, but can also just spawn a follow-up shit test, and if you keep saying “Irrelevant” over and over, things are going to get weird. Maybe weird good if you can say it with the right intonation, but if it’s your only shit test response your game probably isn’t that good.

For the “buy me a shot” shit test, I prefer Juggler’s response, “How about you buy me a shot you think I’d like, and I’ll buy you a shot I think you’ll like.” (Juggler then goes on to buy the girl a shot of whole milk, which makes for a hilarious punchline in the video, but in real life just be classy and actually buy her a drink if she’s buying you one.) This might sound like it’s the move betas try to go with of just having a funny/clever response, but there’s a difference. She has tried to make the interaction one where she is dominant, and Juggler’s response tells her that’s not going to fly, but that you’re open to engaging as equals.

A Few Common Shit Tests and Re-frames

HB: Where are your friends?

Beta: Probably hooking up with your friends.

PUA: Dance with me, I want to feel like there’s no one in the world but you and me right now.

HB: Why don’t you have a girlfriend?

Beta: I have a whole harem.

PUA: Let’s grab drinks and see if we can change that.

HB: Are you gay?

Beta: No, but the dude I fucked last night was.

PUA: [Go for kiss.]

The pattern is simple. You don’t answer her question, you ignore or reject her authority to ask it, and assert a frame where you have assumed she is attracted to you.

Not Everything is a Shit Test

Don’t become a paranoid PUA. Not everything a girl asks is a shit test. She may just be interested in you and wants to get to know you better. That’s good behavior and should be rewarded.

On the other hand, sometimes it’s not even a test. She’s just rejecting you.

Other Billy Guides: Approaching, Approach Anxiety, Kissing the Girl, Neg Hits, Text Game, Looks, The Freeze Out, Kino and How to Learn Game