Can you overcome her preferences?

Common_Comedian2242 · 2025-05-27T16:49:54+00:00

Not worth the trouble imo. Either she is down or not, and nothing wrong if she isn't choosing me, juat most dudes don't know how to move on

norwegiandoggo · 2025-05-27T17:06:49+00:00

You can sometimes, but the relationship will typically be weak, and she will probably dump you for a guy that IS her type later on. It's not worth it for a long-term relationship.

For a short-term fling you can sometimes do it by being very charming and having good game. Something this entire subreddit is dedicated to. But there are no guarantees. If she is not charmed by you rather quickly - it's best to move on.

becomesharp · 2025-05-27T18:56:36+00:00

Overcoming a lack of physical attraction is sort of like winning a fight against someone bigger than you. It's 100% possible, but the bigger the difference you're dealing with, the more skill that's required.

It's not common because most people aren't skilled enough to pull it off, whether we're talking fighting or dating.

If I had to be subject to a girl's preferences in dating, I'd still be a virgin like i was at the beginning of my journey. There aren't many women whose preferences include a 5'4" Asian dude, especially in the early 2000s. Even Asian women wouldn't touch me with a 10' pole back then.

After I started getting good at this, almost every woman I slept with and/or dated has said to me (usually during pillow talk/after sex) something on the order of "you know, you're not my usual type but i felt weird drawn to you when we talked" or "I never thought we would have hooked up when i first met you" or "I never thought i'd hook up with an asian guy"

They were trying to be nice, but the implication is that they weren't attracted to me on first meeting. That's why I needed to develop this skill set.

My SO (the girl in my avatar) was actively unattracted to me when we first met and certainly didn't have a preference for an Asian guy shorter than her. And obviously she'd never dated an Asian guy. In fact, when we met she was actively looking to date a tall guy and was talking to a 6'4" Brazilian model lmao.

And now we have the best, most fulfilling relationship.

So yes, it can be done if you want to work for it.

smind893 · 2025-05-27T18:34:25+00:00

Yes And No.

First , depends on your relationship with this person. If it's a coworker, classmate. Someone who's around you a lot, then yes, you can overcome that challenge.

Second, it's pretty easy. Be you.

I've given advice and had a few of you DM asking for followup cause it works.

Be you unapologetically. Now.....you have to be a good person who's aware of their hygiene, dress etc. By dress, I mean clean unwrinkled clothing. Don't change how you dress or whatever.

Third, don't wait around for her to see the best you including your sense of humor or passions. This is the thing that will attract her. Again Be you.

Fourth, dont hold back that if you get a chance, you're diving between her legs like you're in the Olympics going for the gold medal! Don't be a "brother" or friend, be upfront. Crack a sarcastic, teasing joke about her outfit and how amazing she looks. Etc.

This way, she can potentially look at you as someone she'd hook up with or even date.

Like others have said, don't worry much or even try if it requires extra work. Focus on yourself snd date others. Let her know youre datikg so she sees , ok this guy has a life, and you'll be fine.

Good luck

PS yes I've done it and it works. Takes time.

Rollorich · 2025-05-27T19:59:33+00:00

Ask yourself if you are the best version of yourself you can be. If not, then get to work

Complete_Wave_9315 · 2025-05-27T16:56:33+00:00

Have I been initially not been attracted to a guy and then grew attracted to him? Yes. However, it isn’t common for me. If I were you, I would just move on. It can happen but it isn’t likely.

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-05-27T21:28:42+00:00

You can "overcome" her preferences when you switch your mindset from trying to be liked by her, and instead shift back into provoking her, making her feel, challanging her and evaluating whether she is worthy of your time.

You are supposed to be emotional expereince, you are the one she should tempted to experiment. Not because you fit her idea of what a good emotional experience should be according to her, but because you’re the kind of novelty she’s never tasted before and never saw coming, the one that makes her question everything safe and familiar.

You're not here to match some checklist of what she thinks a good emotional experience should look like. You're the unexpected twist, the kind of energy she didn't know she craved until it was in front of her. You're not here to adapt to her world; you're the spark that tempts her to step out of it.

If you buy into the frame that you are not good enough for a woman because she apparently requires other criteria, that tells me you are not engaging with her on an emotional level, but on a logical one. It tells me that you didn't make her feel anything and instead you stayed safe. You talked about her job, her hobbies, her dog, her favorite Netflix shows. You nodded politely, smiled on cue, and tried to escalate things while she was in logical mode, which of course leads to her thinking logically about "her type" and "her standards".

Women only think about that when the guy in front of them isn't making them feel anything, and that happens when the guy is having plaotnic and safe conversations that avoid tension and discomfort at all costs, and instead chooses to validate her and seek her approval like a polite applicant waiting to be accepted into her life. That’s not desire, that’s job interview energy.

The moment you start worrying about her checklist, her type, her “standards,” you’re no longer a man she feels drawn to, you’re just another guy trying to fit in.

You don't try or beg to fit into her orbit, instead you dare to pull her into your orbit. That translated to a more tangible internal mindset sounds like: "I’m not here to adjust myself to your comfort zone. I’m inviting you into something more exciting, more real, more felt."

You're not testing if you're good enough for her... Instead, you're seeing if she has the curiosity, the courage, and the fire to dance in your storm. Women only analyze when they’re not activated. When they’re not emotionally stirred, they fall back on logic: "What does he do? Does he want kids? Is he serious?"

But when you’re the one who makes her laugh mid sentence, pause to catch her breath, or feel her heart race a little because you leaned in closer without asking for permission, she’s not thinking.

She’s feeling. And that's when not being her type is irrelevant because you become the exception.

Either_Sundae6099 · 2025-05-27T16:49:05+00:00

Raw attraction (I don't just mean physical) which is emotional beats preferences which are logical.

IE, a grounded man, who is sure of himself is better than a [insert preference here] man who is ungrounded and unsure of himself.

Ultimately though its a numbers game.

But if your stuck in your head, worrying about some random persons preferences, well you know what they say "The man that is stuck in his head, won't get any head".

HomelessMilkman · 2025-05-28T08:17:53+00:00

On paper, yes. Though, in reality, from the girls perspective, you're either 'high' or 'low' status at that time.

If you're stifled, uncomfortable, reactive, feel 'low status' in the situation and have no personality because of it. That's not going to change in the next 30 seconds; no one says "this video is boring, let me wait two minutes to see if it gets good".

It would require you to either, make a 'hard shift' in mindset over time, feel 'of status', develop a personality, and be able to offer something at least vaguely stimulating; or, if it was a different time or situation, you may feel more relaxed, more entitled, have situational confidence and be capable. You can develop confidence, you can become an option, not in the next 10 minutes though.

topher_atx · 2025-05-27T18:20:17+00:00

For men, I think we have to go after who likes us. Who we like doesn't matter that much.

It's pretty frustrating. I think women just aren't that in to guys. They're content staying home with their pets. Or they're delusional and are chasing after some dude who's way out of their league.

Eventually people pair up 1 to 1 though. I think the median time spent being single is 18 months. Women control that stat. So if you're banging your head against a wall for months on end trying to meet someone, thats actually par for the course. After 18 months women finally get lonely enough they pick a boyfriend.

DeadEyeTone · 2025-05-27T16:57:29+00:00

Its all situational. But from my experience, preferences have just been shit tests for guys who aren’t confident. If a girl says she likes such and such and you don’t fit into that category and just give up on her completely. You failed her confidence test. A real man doesn’t care what she likes. All he knows is he wants her and with a winner mentality he usually gets her. I forgot the number on stats but most guys who are good with women know not to trust her words but what she responds to. Guys care more about looks and appearance while girls care about who men are on the inside. So if she says she likes only pale white tall men who sound like corpse you can guarantee she will still take the penis of a short, but confident black man who’s loud and probably looks like lil uzi or xxxtentacion. I see it all the time

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-05-27T17:03:05+00:00

Don't. Compatibility and congruence are both important. You don't want to "game" anyone with manipulation, deceit or lies.

Back in the PUA days guys would post about some of the most sociopathic bullshit. I remember an example of a guy who bragged about wearing goth clothes, fake tattoo sleeves and clip-on piercings so he could get with alt scene women even though he had no tats, piercings and was not part of that subculture. That's just beyond crazy. And guys used to cheer things like that or guys lying about their age. Don't do it.

hunterpua · 2025-05-27T18:32:04+00:00

Yes and it can be worth it depending on how you address the issue.

If you address the issue by just working harder than normal to get one girl who prefers something else then it isn't worth it.

But if you address it by developing your overall skill at seduction and develop that skill by gaining experience with multiple women and not putting any extra importance on any of them in particular then it's worth it.

As long as you're chasing the skill instead of just one woman, it's fine.

Having the skill to flip someone goes way beyond just dating. You can use that to make an amazing lifestyle and living for yourself, heck, you can even use that to do something that makes an actual dent in the world.

An unlike what most inexperienced people here will say (including the women who have way less experience on average than guys at seducing women) game never was and never will be about negotiating, debating, or convincing someone to be attracted to you.

That was never taught even in the archaic days and it sure as shit isn't taught now. So that strawman holds up about as well as a twig in a hurricane.

Game is about stimulating someone in ways that make them want you. You're not reasoning with them, you're just making them feel things.

And the better you become at that, the more seamlessly you will overcome preferences and type.

I wasn't my girlfriend's type but I didn't even know that I was overcoming that, because I didn't do anything different to what I normally did, I just seduced her like I've done with so many women before her and had her asking to be in a relationship with me in 3 weeks. We're still together now, 5 years later, and her type has now changed to me.

A person's type is simply their favourite. And favourites change all the time when people experience something better than their current favourite.

You can turn someone around by being better than their current favourite.

Another reason to chase the skill of seduction rather than just a single girl. Getting one girl doesn't make you better at all. But being damn good at making people like and agree with you in general definitely makes you better.

Thisisname1 · 2025-05-27T17:05:26+00:00

Depends on the preference.

She into nerdy small guys but you a buff dude with big muscles? Can probably turn it around.

She into BBC and you have a tiny pecker? Probably not worth your hassle.

Choose wisely.

Badguy60 · 2025-05-27T18:45:16+00:00

What's funny about this whole thing is you are basically putting her on a pedestal usually, because you are trying to live up to her or what another guy imprinted on her (wow that was cringe, but whatever).

Ever sense high school I been the BD that has broke the rule for them waste of time

Known-Student-381 · 2025-05-27T18:59:16+00:00

Openness to experience is a personality trait. Adventurous people are more likely to do something out of the ordinary. Quiet/anxious people are not.

So basically, you can overcome her preferences if she prefers it.

Khower · 2025-05-27T19:13:25+00:00

It's not worth the time. I'm not going to waste time trying with someone not interested in me.

JackSquirts · 2025-05-27T20:09:12+00:00

Yes, but the battle is endless and exhausting. Good news is, this question is clearly from the male perspective of preference. Our preferences can be tallied on one hand and you need a god damn quantum computer to figure hers out. Clearly they're weighted though, but she's ALWAYS going to be comprising her preferences to some degree. So, to be the most attractive to the most women, you need a balance - game is a major player in that mix.

Dwerg1 · 2025-05-27T22:07:13+00:00

I wouldn't say you can really overcome her preferences with something that doesn't hit on at least some of her preferences. I would say you can capitalize on some of her preferences to the degree that she'll accept you not meeting some of her other preferences.

Simple example, you might not be her type in terms of looks, but she highly prefers your personality or the other way around.

If nothing about you appeals to any of her preferences then you're shit out of luck.

COMPEWTER_adminisp · 2025-05-27T23:11:54+00:00

with high enough game and skill you can; there is an interview of neil strauss with a woman he meet online, he never posted a picture but all he did was gaming her via chat when they meet he did more game and during the interview she actually said she wasnt into him when she saw him, but it changed her view based on his game, she actually became a regular LOL! , but you are looking at things the wrong way, never attach too much on a single person have more options, and that one changes her preferences so be it, but keep meeting other women.

Rhino3750ss · 2025-05-28T01:08:14+00:00

The guys that are flipping the script and seem like they can bypass preferences are doing so with competence, which is the key word. They are competent when it comes to female nature instead of resentful about it.

They are competent enough to know what satisfies women's safety mechanisms: an outcome independent demeanor that signals preselection.

Competence is so much more than that. It's the source of confidence. It's also very attractive to women when you are competent at real world survival skills and trades, which in modern times could be fixing her car or servicing her home HVAC.

cooooooope · 2025-05-28T03:02:18+00:00

Yes if you are physically attractive enough.

water_reducer · 2025-05-28T04:05:46+00:00

But are there stories out there of guys flipping the script and almost bypassing that preference entirely with unmatched game?

https://puajackharkness.wordpress.com/2012/08/18/the-truth-about-real-social-dynamics-from-an-insider/

jackthehat6 · 2025-05-28T07:02:41+00:00

this is a good question

People will tell you 'her preferences do'nt matter! You can get any girl you want if you know game! Even if she is 18 and likes tall guys her age with blue eyes and you are 60 and fat and bald'. Or 'my geriatric mate dave as no arms and is always banging teenage models 'cos he knows 'game'' etc

Don't believe them! These people have NO proof (or course!!)

You know who does have proof? Professional PUA's with infield footage. And these people are about the best there is. They've dedicated their lives to this stuff

And guess what. Out of like 5000 infields or so that have been release through 'products' and youtube etc, there's never been one where a girl is super cold unnattracted on the open and then he magically 'games' her into bed. If it was actually possible, there would be LOTS of such infields. Yet there are none. Ask why lol. It should literally be common place! Instead we have 'rejection compilations' in their premium products where they semi admit 'you can't get every girl. Sometimes it's just not gonna happen' lol. Yeah, no sh1t! lol

You can't force attraction in someone.

It is a pure numbers game. Even for the 'professionals'. Again, this isn't even up for debate assuming you've seen all of their paid products along with the many many infields etc. Their game techniques are powerless if attraction isn't there

Sometimes people try to rebut me with infields examples without realising that i've seen them ALL!! They'll say 'oh yeah? What about Julien in pimp?'. and I say 'good one. He took a girl from hostile to giving him one word answers and a semi-sarcastic smile!! yay!! no kiss. no sex'. They'll say 'what about maxrsd in the natrual!! the girl was ignoring him and he banged her!!'. I say 'either you're a moron or you ONLY watched the promo for the product where max edited it to look that way. If watch the actual infield, the girl who ignored him walked away! The girl he banged was a completely random girl who literally just approached him quite directly, because she thought he was good looking!'. And the final example is a feaking semi scripted game show involving cajun! And it's such a bad example in many other ways (die to the fact his opener directly caused her apparent disinterest! That's cheating lol. She still could have thought he was handsome) NOT to mention he still didn't bang her or even make out with her!!!

it's ridiculous. Say it again. you can't force attraction in her if it's not there at all in the first place (e.g you're not her type at all)

Substantial-Bad-4508 · 2025-05-28T16:59:35+00:00

Why piss against the wind? The attempts to overcome one's preference is to demonstrate a scarcity mindset.

ElNicotinas · 2025-05-28T22:44:31+00:00

Absolutely, brother.
Yes, you can overcome her preferences… but not by begging, bending, or chasing. You do it by becoming so grounded, so magnetic, and so focused on your path that you make her question her own blueprint.

Here’s the truth:
Most women don’t even know what they really want.
They think they have “preferences,” but what they’re actually drawn to is energy, certainty, and leadership.
And most men don’t carry any of that.

Let me give it to you straight:

If you’re the kind of guy who checks none of her boxes but walks in the room with presence, direction, and unshakable frame, you can absolutely bypass her “ideal man” fantasy.
Why?
Because you’re giving her something she can feel, not something she can describe.

And yeah, it’s not common. Because most guys aren’t uncommon.

They try to be nice. They seek permission. They “respect her preferences” as if they’re carved in stone.
But the man who moves with power and calm intention makes her rethink everything.

So to answer your question:
Yes. It happens.
Not because the guy is “better” but because he’s so unapologetically himself, he becomes the outlier she didn’t see coming.

Work on becoming that man.
The one who doesn’t just check boxes, he redefines them.

Stay strong, stay grounded.
Glad you’re here and not slipping into the black pill, we need more men who are awake, not angry.

Western-Month-3877 · 2025-05-27T16:56:59+00:00

If it doesn’t fit, spit on it. #rhymes

Title	Can you overcome her preferences?
Author	HF_Twat2004
Upvotes	38
Comments	51
Date	May 27, 2025 4:45 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1kws5lp/can_you_overcome_her_preferences/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/can-you-overcome-her-preferences.1553250 https://theredarchive.com/post/1553250

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