Zero luck on dating apps - better in real life?

jsbach123 · 2022-04-20T21:13:44+00:00

The problem with dating apps like Tinder is, women have to go on your appearance because they have nothing else to go on.

For us men, we're primarily visual. For women, they're less hung up on what a guy looks like. That's why you often see very attractive women with average looking guys (rarely the other way around).

However, on a dating app, a man doesn't get to express non-physical qualities. As such, women can only go on your appearance because that's all there is on a dating profile.

Unless your photos show you're a 9 or 10, you're better off not being so lazy and meeting in-person. Hell, even if you're 9 or 10, it's still better in-person as there are bat shit crazy women on Tinder who might be hot but have serious mental and personal issues.

VDKay · 2022-04-20T20:48:48+00:00

If you are below, say 8/10, in photos, dating apps are garbage in my opinion. They are going to crush your confidence and self-image.

Canadian-Seductioner · 2022-04-20T19:56:52+00:00

I think my pics are good...

They're probably not bro. If you aren't getting any matches and you're as fit and well-dressed as you say you are, then it's your profile that's causing you problems.

Moynamama · 2022-04-20T19:48:58+00:00

Just do it ‘60s style: Get shitfaced at the company Christmas party and bang some broad from the secretary pool. Knock her up. Have a quickie wedding. Spurt out two more rugrats. Have an affair. Get divorced. Spend the rest of you life referring to your ex as “that bitch” when you talk to your kids.

Asadex · 2022-04-20T21:31:41+00:00

Try Photofeeler, is a website where strangers rate your pics , choose the dating option obviously.

You should have in all three categories at the very least a 7.

I'm telling you this because I had experience with it, oh wow 8-9 attractiveness, trustworthiness and intelligence 4-5....

Why? Probably because I looked jacked and attractive I suppose but really it was a selfie in my room. Boooring.

Just travel or visit some places in your city or whatever, take some photos where your face is seen clearly and if you have a great body or decent at least then show that too but not like obnoxious or bodybuilding poses xD.

Keep posting them on Photofeeler until at least 1 is a 7 in every category. Then post that as the main photo. Add some if you want to start right away, or wait until you have 3-4 great photos. By the way, I recommend 2-3 photos from photofeeler and add another one as a bonus of your personality your better trait or hobbies or whatever.

And in real life, I would say is easier if you know what you are doing and what are you looking for.

What I mean is you want p* now, so try improving your looks as much as you can, style, haircut , body... You know. And now approach girls that you like, how? Indirect approach during the day 100% , why? Because seduction, romance is fun when there is intrigue and sexual tension. Don't make her know right away that you like her, would f her and so on... BOOORING.

Engage her, like a human being, how would you talk to a guy, a friend, an old person, strike a random convo. The difference is that it doesn't matter what you say, weather, location, restaurant to eat... You want to see a reaction whether she want to be further engaged or not. What type of reaction? Smile , excitement, answers more than needed.

That's the first step, but I don't feel like writing anymore...

TL;DR Photofeeler, go to places to take photos. Until you have 2-3 photos that are at the very least a 7 in trustworthiness, attractiveness and intelligence. Add another one of YOUR liking.

In real life, make yourself look as good as possible, and approach indirectly as you would with any other person, BUT look for a reaction of interest. If you see she is interested engage further. If not, LEAVE HER ALONE.

BlancheCorbeau · 2022-04-20T19:47:45+00:00

Well, a spoon is a pretty poor knife, but just try eating soup with a knife and not poke some holes in your cheeks.

Dating apps do not match you to people you are compatible with that you will probably enjoy dating. You’ll have better luck if you use them not as they are advertised, but how they actually work…

Most people over-prune their dating matches, and come up empty handed, in large part because they simply want the apps to work as advertised in doing the hard part of presenting them with good matches.

Unfortunately, they really don’t work that way.

Anyway, yes, lots of people share your experience. And more would, if they ever put themselves out there in the real world.

dheidjdedidbe · 2022-04-20T20:28:34+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Outrageous_Pride6017 · 2022-04-21T14:08:49+00:00

Tinder’s algorithms are fucked. If dating apps is your plan of attack, it’s worth it to get the upgraded versions - they generally make you appear more, at the top, etc. so you get more matches.

I’ve always seen myself as middle-of-the-pack attractiveness. However, almost zero success in 5 years on/off usage on dating apps (hooked up with 3-4 girls), but I’ve had “plenty” of success in cold approach/general face to face (probably 1 in 8 will be successful).

To me, Tinder is all about attraction, not seduction - do I find this person attractive enough to have sex with them? Negative responses to this question receive a left swipe.

Face to face is actual seduction - the approach, starting a conversation, is he confident, etc. This is how guys can get girls that are “out of their league” - we force the other person to make a decision in a split second, instead of having time to look at pictures and decide over 10 seconds before even conversing.

All this is to say, yes, it’s very different in real life. The drag of Tinder can seriously hurt your self-confidence and self-image if you don’t understand the difference. Finding a happy medium between active on Tinder/Hinge/Bumble and interpersonal interactions/cold approach would be the best, I would imagine.

ETA: “plenty” based on how I feel about it, in quotes because others may have different standards. Not trying to claim to be some cold-approach king or anything.

BenNewcomb1 · 2022-04-21T16:58:15+00:00

I've had terrible luck in Austin with dating apps.

I'm quite good with the ladies in real life though so whatever.

conker1264 · 2022-04-20T20:03:02+00:00

Idk I've tried both and have gotten shit results either way. At the end of the day your personality and confidence is what gets girls and if yours ain't great it's not gonna happen. Guess I'll just continue working out every day hoping that my looks will makeup for it.

MBicks · 2022-04-21T21:05:43+00:00

Tinder is take what you can get.

Cold approach or approaching in social situations is take what you want, while reaping the rewards of getting out your comfort zone.

TwoTomatoMe · 2022-04-21T03:16:27+00:00

This sub is full of people who swear dating apps don’t work. If you’re a 6 or better and live in a high populated area, you can get girls on dating apps. If you aren’t getting them it’s most likely you’re fault and you need to improve your dating app game (photos, profile, game). Don’t give up like a little bitch.

Ploikblah · 2022-04-20T22:24:38+00:00

I tried every free dating app but never got a match or reply. Tried social clubs like drama society and met zero interested women. Tried nightclubs but women just walked off.

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-04-20T23:38:53+00:00

Dating apps worked well for me.

poorwardobservations · 2022-04-21T13:56:38+00:00

If you’re having literally zero luck on dating apps you’re still gonna struggle in real life. If you’re what you claim you’d at least be getting matches. Send me your profile.

twinkletoesies90 · 2022-04-21T16:11:42+00:00

You have to see these dating apps as lead marketing funnels.

Some factors to consider outside the app: -Are you in a populated area with a lot of singles -do you have your range set high enough to get enough people

From there, the rest is testing: -photos -profile content -messaging

And you can do that by challenging the concept of "you". Think of women as buyers and think about what they want in a man and try to showcase which of those qualities you have that match what they want and also what type of woman you want.

Any qualities you're missing work on possessing them

Tiny_Ad2151 · 2022-04-20T19:45:35+00:00

Try asking girls for advice on your bio and pics haha

HowToStud · 2022-04-20T21:53:05+00:00

Sometimes it’s a better approach to stop chasing tail and improve your life. Women will come when you level up

Contango6969 · 2022-04-21T01:13:47+00:00

I’ve actually been surprised with how well tinder goes for me. I still prefer not to use it thought it’s a crutch that makes you weaker and nothing good is going to come from it.

ResponsibilityKey427 · 2022-04-20T21:47:25+00:00

It’s a sweet lie told in this sub that real life will be better than online dating.

Truth is if you have a shitty time on Tinder your irl approaches won’t be any better…

freespirit1963TJ · 2022-04-20T20:21:01+00:00

Real life depends a great deal on how many, "natural" social situations you're in, any with how many people. Work, school, social events, friends of friends etc.

PuroPincheGains · 2022-04-20T21:11:49+00:00

You should post your profile for feedback. I don't know if that's allowed in this sub, but you could do it at r/Tinder.

yoon1ac · 2022-04-21T06:47:02+00:00

Real life is way easier. Dating apps are a pipe dream, a waste of time, toxic to your mental health and self worth and a false hope for most people.

Aliebaba99 · 2022-04-21T07:42:03+00:00

You probably have shit pictures. Last summer when i was with my entire family i was hanging out with my cousins and we had a look at my tinder peofile and they gave advice which pictures to keep ans whoch to lose, even made a few new photos. Ever since ive been getting more frequent matches. The pictures are reallllyyy important.

hookedonfonicsmunky · 2022-04-21T09:34:00+00:00

Way more dates off apps, only girls i've ever got with were ones i met in person and asked out.... which is fucked cuz sometimes we hit it off sooooo hard but it goes to shit haha

ld20r · 2022-04-21T11:58:41+00:00

For all we know maybe your not built for them.

Tinder/Bumble/Hinge etc cater to a very vanilla audience and your preferences might not match up with the majority of people there?

Which there’s nothing wrong with am in the same boat.

2022-04-21T13:36:36+00:00

100% luck haha

RPslimjim · 2022-04-21T15:12:11+00:00

I think my pics are good

More than likely they are not. You need professional quality pics showing various activities that showcase your lifestyle. Women are finicky so you’ll need to be the absolute best on a dating profile.

Independent-Welder-3 · 2022-04-21T16:14:39+00:00

i have one or two chat from tinder and hinge but that is about it, meet one girl from hinge and not from tinder, we went on one dates and the rest is lets says we lived too far so now she wanted to stay as friend, i have no idea, i talked to her last time and we still talking.

Dabzovic · 2022-04-21T18:27:45+00:00

It could be the algorithm screwing you over as well and your profile maybe isn’t being seen

Zangief89 · 2022-04-30T00:19:56+00:00

Yeah, go on Amazon and check out a game called Chickenshit. You play this with a buddy the next time you go out and it will change the game for you. Also murders on the beach

Firm-Peak-5007 · 2022-09-12T23:02:10+00:00

I have zero success on dating apps and women give me a look of disgust or get angry when I approach.

Title	Zero luck on dating apps - better in real life?
Author	unabletodisplay
Upvotes	27
Comments	54
Date	April 20, 2022 7:41 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/u84nr6/zero_luck_on_dating_apps_better_in_real_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/zero-luck-on-dating-apps-better-in-real-life.1261596 https://theredarchive.com/post/1261596

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