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NervousGamedev · 2022-03-23T00:19:35+00:00

I think there's a lot of nuance to the word "approach" and unfortunately people tend not to elaborate on what they mean by that, especially online. Context matters.

KimchiAndButtercups · 2022-03-23T00:58:22+00:00

Creepy is always subjective. If I think you’re cute, I’ll be flattered. If not, I might think your approach is creepy. Sorry it’s just how it is xDD

ScreentimeNOR · 2022-03-23T05:19:18+00:00

Most of the time is how you approach, mindset and attitude included. If you're nervous and very focused on the result (sex or a date), you are going to be so in your head about it that the woman can smell your bs from across the parking garage.

Also being focused on not being creepy is ironically gonna make you come off as creepy.

Just relax and have fun. Humor and a playful attitude will take you far.

Edit: One thing that will help you seem genuine is approaching and talking to strange guys as well. If you create your default as someone who picks up conversation with anyone it will feel natural when you are approaching women, for both you and her.

EveryGodDamnDay · 2022-03-23T00:13:39+00:00

Stop reading those forums. Talk to anyone you want to.

sensual_aglet · 2022-03-23T04:48:21+00:00

I've always noticed the more natural or witty it is the better. If you just walk up and say hey wanna hear a joke? The initial reaction is gonna be "why tf is this person talking to me??" Thus creepy.

kanslo · 2022-03-23T05:07:28+00:00

It’s really the way you approach us.

For example; I was sitting in my car with the windows down listening to music with my feet up on the dash (I was wearing shorts), a random old man walks up to my side of the car and has me turn my music down to tell me I “have some pretty sexy legs”. This is an example of what not to do and is creepy.

If I’m approached by a guy and we’re just having a friendly conversation then that’s okay!

KobKZiggy · 2022-03-23T05:42:40+00:00

Rule #1: Be attractive Rule #2: Don't be in attractive.

Any thing else is creepy and cringe. Reddit told me so.

Tyrpers · 2022-03-23T05:49:04+00:00

It's basiclly this Rule 1: be attractive Rule 2: don't be unattractive

redditspider1234 · 2022-03-23T06:21:47+00:00

Here is the twist. It's only creepy if you are not attractive to them.

2022-03-23T01:00:07+00:00

Its labeled "creepy" by women because they feel uncomfortable being presented with those situations. It's also the go-to word for women who have experienced some kind of negative interaction with a man or men and have developed a hangup over it where they are now afraid of men who look a certain way, men approaching them in certain situations, or just men in general.

No_Acanthisitta5052 · 2022-03-23T03:29:41+00:00

Everything a baby does is cute, because that is what they look like.

Cool_Weather_7763 · 2022-03-23T03:53:29+00:00

Media

Indianbro · 2022-03-23T05:13:37+00:00

Its creepy because the approach you did wasn’t natural or came across as creepy. You have to think would have it been creepy if Drake did the same thing? Chances are not. Cold approach is all about reading the room and judging the girls reactions, unfortunately it is a numbers game. More you do it better you will become acclimated. Is what it is

Big_Thony99 · 2022-03-23T02:47:44+00:00

It’s not. It’s only when an ugly guy does it lmao

jewip44336 · 2022-03-23T04:06:33+00:00

If you're unattractive, it's creepy. If you're good looking, it's not.

ReadyTelephone2395 · 2022-03-23T01:29:58+00:00

Well imagine you getting approached by some random guy as a girl. Your guard is going to be up.

Most people meet through school, clubs, friends of friends (the best way), tinder.

You never rly hear about people meeting through the guy cold approaching...

drippedhoe · 2022-03-23T02:32:45+00:00

It’s only creepy if they think the man is ugly, a lot of men approach women who don’t give choosing signals.

ilovefootball49 · 2022-03-23T03:21:48+00:00

It's not creepy if she gives you her number. Anyone she decides is ugly is "creepy" even for staring at her. Just do you and forget the haters.

alexandhisworld · 2022-03-23T03:59:21+00:00

The way you approach is the way you shouldn’t approach — which is the way the advice is referring to

incognito3107 · 2022-03-23T06:41:37+00:00

I think "creepy" occurs when she is clearly not interested in getting to know you, but you still insist on having sloppy conversation.

Homelss_Emperor · 2022-03-23T06:51:33+00:00

If you are attracrive its flirting if you are ugly its creepy

fatbird09 · 2022-03-23T06:55:39+00:00

The more you elaborate a scenario, the creepier they’ll make it. Forget it. Be genuine and respectful and go with it. Fuck Reddit advice.

Huge_Wolf3708 · 2022-03-23T04:02:23+00:00

If you are ugly(to that woman) it's creepy, if you are hot it's not.

jujutoastybuns · 2022-03-23T03:59:06+00:00

yep, they bitch and moan about being single but then bitch and moan about getting approached.

it's like they want it their way all the time.

maybe if they approached the guys they liked, they wouldn't have to worry as much.

recyclablebanthas · 2022-03-23T07:11:39+00:00

1

I’m reading some of these forums about how a man shouldn’t approach a women anywhere apparently.

You can find people who say anything on the internet. That doesn't mean it's inherently correct just because you can find someone saying it on the internet.

2

where the hell is a man supposed to ever approach a woman....

You can approach women in many situations as long as you know what you're doing. The problem is that our culture does not exactly transmit good social skills to men most of the time. Too many men graduate high school with little if any understanding of how social interactions actually work.

3

if everything we do is considered creepy.

It's not though.

Sidenote: There's no way to help you if you are going to be this rigid in unhelpful ways of thinking.

4

You tell guys approaching is a numbers game, then turn around a say, your a creep for approaching her basically anywhere.

You're talking about narratives coming from two completely different camps.

A.) People in the seduction community sometimes talk about it being a numbers game. Because not everyone is going to be interested in everyone. That's just a simple fact.

B.) And a lot of female led communities often get together to complain with each other about socially awkward men who are too pushy in their attempts to date them or ask them out.

They lack understanding of what's going on and often conflate those socially awkward attempts at approaches with the idea of all approaches.

When in fact someone who knows what they're doing won't register on their radar at all as someone who is "approaching." It'll just seem like a natural thing that happened when it's done right.

And to be completely honest, if you've only come here to just complain that none of this works, then you need to find another sub.

This is not the venue for rants, especially from people who refuse to accept constructive feedback or good advice.

Beginning-Ad-8041 · 2022-03-23T02:43:35+00:00

Approaching strangers is low-value and last resort behavior. Women like familiarity are more receptive to men we already know, compared to random strangers.

Men would have a helluva lot higher success if they approached women who were in existing circles. Sociable, personable men are more likable. Women like men who other women like… those men are rarely seen as “creepy”. If a man is surrounded by other women, that demonstrates to a woman that he must be somewhat cool and not a creep.

Work on your social skills, social game & circle. Don’t be solely reliant on random cold approaches.

Czekraft · 2022-03-23T04:31:55+00:00

Do you have a story to tell us?

smind893 · 2022-03-23T05:55:21+00:00

What's creepy is GOING to the gas station to pick up women. Or try to.

All these guys going out to ty to get a woman are creeps.

Going out and looking to meet people is different.

Superb-Bank9899 · 2022-03-23T06:08:08+00:00

Approach as a friend and ask how they are is one thing, but approaching like all you want is to get between their legs is creepy. Approach and ask them how they feel and listening to the response is one thing, but going up to her and ask if she would like French toast or Waffles the next morning after spending the night with you is creepy.

Professional-Head83 · 2022-03-23T06:29:10+00:00

They consider it creepy unless it's a really hot chick. She won't be creeped out if you approach her. Trust me.

Beginning-Ad-8041 · 2022-03-23T06:38:09+00:00

To many incels, mods delete please

LongLiveMacdre · 2022-03-23T06:45:25+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Tahjeem420 · 2022-03-23T06:56:08+00:00

This guy is a creep just look at his profile. You’d think this was a woman speaking. It’s a whole dude

opqjuag · 2022-03-23T02:15:39+00:00

Cuz ur creepy

King-Britton · 2022-03-23T01:10:13+00:00

Every approach a ‘creepy’ guy initiates is seen as creepy and there are lots of ‘creeps’ so women associate these guys who approach them in these settings with feeling uncomfortable, women are incredibly socially intuitive and will pick up on a mans intentions quickly.

To seem less creepy, work on yourself more: If you are healthy, happy in your own company, successful and have a strong social circle you will come across as calmer, less eager, more direct and confident, therefore making her feel more relaxed and open in most approach scenarios.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-03-23T00:46:14+00:00

Because you are creepy, and women can tell. It’s not what men do, it’s what creepy men like you do. Simple as that.

LongLiveMacdre · 2022-03-23T01:15:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

wooshoofoo · 2022-03-23T04:36:48+00:00

Much like women will say they like a sense of humor but if your joke sucks and you can’t make them laugh you will just be making WEIRD and CREEPY comments. Just like approaching, it’s ALL ABOUT CONTEXT.

This is frustrating because to some degree, if you could read context you wouldn’t need to be here trying to learn it. But it’s the truth.

almost_strange · 2022-03-23T06:43:04+00:00

It is not what but how

bannedforpcmbs · 2022-03-23T06:54:57+00:00

girls only call men they dont find attractive creepy when the approach them, either dont be unattractive (work on self, confidence, game, look good) or dont approach.....

spicy_simba · 2022-03-23T07:06:11+00:00

Hey there buddy,

General statements you read on internet are not absolute truths to take literally.

It's good to have some basic level of situational awareness, like not approaching someone who is on an ATM dark at night, it feels weird. And not forcing yourself into people who do not want to talk to you clearly or are clearly busy.

For me the answer lies in context and adaptability.

Am in a dance class with a female friend, we dance in couples and switch partners, another guy is greeting every girl he dances with saying "you are exactly my type, what you doing later" or something like that

Its a situation were the girl is cornered, she has to dance with him every 10 turns, as that is the class goes.

He could see the girl making uncomfortable faces or changes the topic, but he persists "you are really soo beautiful oh my god, can i get your number"

He did not adapt and kept pushing.

Just like not everyone knows when to stop, Not everyone is equipped to say "stop you are being annoying"

I think you can approach people in bars or social areas, you can also approach people in public transport,

When approaching, you can ask permission, and observe, if people close off, make a face and turn their heads, or put headphones, that is a clear sign of discomfort.

If a person responds and make the conversation go longer instead of shorter, that is a good sign, but does not mean necessarily they want to marry you or go to bed with you or give you their number.

Depending on where it happens, how it happens, your window of time before it gets uncomfortable varies.

Approaching someone alone in the street at evening gets uncomfortable from the first seconds. Same goes when they throw trash or in a parking lot.

Approaching someone in a cafe or bar, which is a place where people see as a more social place than a parking lot, you get a few seconds to tell how they feel about the interaction.

I experienced moving to a new city, i went to a cafe bar and just started talking to people, introduced myself and said am new in town, and i was looking forward to make friends, i approached both guys and girls in the cafe bar, and my intention was to meet people and experiment, first i asked permission, then chat a bit and depending how the chat goes i stay more or less, at some point i needed a laptop with internet and asked 2 girls to help and they helped.

You do not want to be the annoying salesman who puts his foot on the door and does not want to leave. Or that rings the bell at midnight. Or just goes into your house without knocking and says i found the window or door open.

Social events and activities are places where you can practice introducing yourself and sensing how much a person is interested in a chat.

I have been going to social events quite a lot, i learned to allow others space to bump into me as well, not always be the one to force bump everyone all the time.

Trust yourself, use common sense, experiment and calibrate.

hpaine69 · 2022-03-23T07:28:16+00:00

Females basically evolved to not trust men, don't get frustrated this behaviour is quite normal, don't let it affect your confidence and don't let it stop you from approaching.

You won't feel creepy when you meet an awesome girl who you're compatible with

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	72
Comments	135
Date	March 23, 2022 12:03 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tkgz3b/why_is_everything_a_man_does_considered_creepy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1263924 https://theredarchive.com/post/1263924

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