[deleted by user]

drewcer · 2021-09-28T00:31:57+00:00

It's likely that you're boring, and you're filtering yourself too much, and she can tell, and it's unattractive. If you are not willing to take any social risks, most girls don't even want it bro.

Talk to her with the level of comfort and free association and lack of a filter with a level of not giving a fuck that you'd talk to your best friend or your bratty little sister.

tes_befil · 2021-09-27T23:15:36+00:00

I can't talk for shit either mate. My go to is to talk at a slow pace, smile and laugh a lot, and just be confident in what your saying. I found this made what I was saying way more interesting and oddly enough kinda flirty. Basically act sauve

terrorvision101 · 2021-09-28T00:18:16+00:00

I'd be a very happy man if girls came up to me because I was good looking (I mean, I'm not bad looking, but you must a freakin' model!)

I wish I could tell this to everyone here (and all the girls on tinder!) - Get a hobby. Something engaging, fun, adventurous. Personally I think rock climbing, or mountain biking are great for this. Then, when you are talking to a girl and she asks you *anything* steer it to your hobby. It'll be a low-key brag, possibly impressive, and if you're passionate, you'll have no problem talking about it. Then offer to take her some time, ask for the number and you're one step closer.

gbizzle2 · 2021-09-27T22:52:11+00:00

When a girl shows initial attraction there should be very little you can do to fuck it up. The NUMBER ONE thing you can do fuck it up is show lack of confidence. Its better to act super cocky than be nervous. It is best to not be super cocky but just be slightly cocky.

It literally makes them fucking wet when you give this aura of treating them like a side dish

kalifo_yt · 2021-09-27T22:06:20+00:00

1.smell good and dress nice 2. eye contact make it friendly eye contact 3. Talk calmly and not fast 4. say hey introduce yourself , ask for her relationship status and ask for the number 5. Give yourself a pat on the back it is so simple my guy

straightfromfoonga · 2021-09-27T22:40:58+00:00

I’m a nervous bumbling mess and I still can get girls numbers. I recently just started going on dates for the first time in my life.

The key is to be understandable. When I’m feeling uncomfortable or anxious, I explain it to the girl and she appreciates how open I’m being.

2021-09-28T03:15:30+00:00

Goes for more than girls but get them talking. Talk about whatever they want to talk about. Oh, you like _____? What do you like about it? Or I've never heard of that before what's it about? Stuff like that and learn to be genuinely interested in other people. I still have a hard time sometimes when someone likes really dumb stuff but the goal is to make the other person feel special without trying to make them feel special. Be genuine and genuinely interested. Remember things they say. Good eye contact and a smile, dont kiss ass. If someone is talking about something you have absolutely no interest in just say you dont really keep up with that and branch off on something somewhat related. Let's use the Kardashian tv show. I personally have zero interest. "I really like the Kardashians tv show" "oh, I dont really watch tv. Is Kim still married to kanye? What was that picture all about where he was floating on stage?" Or"i dont watch tv but dont they live in vegas or cali? Vegas? Have you ever been?, where would you go in vegas if you went" etc and it applies to everything from new friends, new potential girls, new business opportunities or getting a job. Reading extensively will make it easier for you to branch off too. Dont just read fiction. Check out biographies, read about places you want to visit, bands, etc.

Above all just be genuine. Be genuinely interested and always be learning from others. Learn names (I'm bad about this one too lmao but it's not impossible). Other girls you've failed with if you see them just smile and say hi (insert name here) and move on. Builds social proof and gets people used to saying hi to you without any awkwardness. (Do this in general). A good book you may want to check out is how to win friends and influence people.

BlackbeardsHead4 · 2021-09-28T04:03:44+00:00

You should be interesting and you should be interested.

Dont be cocky, be confident. You should think of the world as a mystery and you're a detective, find what you think is cool and dive into that motherfucker, learn everything about everything, you like dinosaurs, learn everything there is to know, what species existed?, during what time was that? How do we know the time period? Who discovered the species? develop your own thoughts and beliefs based off of what you know. What reputable experts think on subjects.

Somewhere in life somebody will say some shit about dinosaurs and you'll have alot of knowledge stored in your brain ready to have an interesting conversation, people will see that and be suprised, intrigued, curious.

DO NOT be the guy that ONLY talks about dinosaurs, brings up dinosaurs at barbecues and picnics, the line at the grocery. People will be like, "there's dinosaur dan" in their mind.

Let it suprise people, don't broadcast to anyone how much you know or how much you're interested in things, there's times and places for letting people get to know you. They will be the judge. Don't tell them what you are, show them

You're brain wont fill up no matter how hard you try, it costs nothing to learn as much as you can about everything you can, and doing so is an invaluable card in your deck of life.

2021-09-28T01:52:05+00:00

Same bro, I don’t have that cheat code called height but I’m super athletic, random ppl tell me I’m handsome, I lock eyes with girls all day.

But for some reason, I’m not closing the deal. Then the more times passes, I can just see them slowly lose interest.

One girl showed crazy initial interest, added me first and everything, said she’s down to smoke, then when I asked her for her schedule, she said she’d let me know.

Btw I don’t give any free validation(no liked pictures)

cormacru999 · 2021-09-27T22:59:31+00:00

You do know what you're doing wrong, you're bad at talking. So the solution is to get better at talking. There are 2 parts to that, one, hang out with other men to cut out the attraction part of the dynamic & practice conversation. Research people who are good at conversations, but avoid dating experts & seduction experts because they are absolutely misleading you about women. And the 2nd part is, research what women are looking for by reading their articles they write, the threads they participate in, the books they publish. Women are shouting about what they want but men keep listening to scam artist men about what women want. All the women in their videos are paid to be there, to agree with them, or to say scripted nonsense. And if they are actually dating women based on their teachings, those are not women who really want to be with.

RavDLC · 2021-09-28T02:37:45+00:00

Tsss, I can relate bro

garrettcw18 · 2021-09-28T02:44:59+00:00

Be a lovable jerk, with a charming smirk smile. That’ll help you out a lot here

StormTAG · 2021-09-28T03:15:24+00:00

I mean, what do you say to fuck it up?

ShawnSimoes · 2021-09-28T04:25:02+00:00

Based on the fact that you used the word "rubbish", maybe you have bad teeth?

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2021-09-28T05:21:57+00:00

You didn't give us a lot to go on. What are you saying to them?

TempAcc64 · 2021-09-28T07:07:30+00:00

Then just talk less, ask questions. If they're already approaching you they'll tell you damn near anything and everything.

Risk__Creepy · 2021-09-28T11:40:04+00:00

Sounds like you have the looks. Work on being more socially competent.

swardhan · 2021-09-28T01:28:56+00:00

IDK man. If a lot of girls approach you its a real good thing and if you fuck them all up then there is something fundamentally wrong with you.

You are saying its fucking your mind. You gotta work on that. It should not affect you. Otherwise its a downward spiral.
Just live life at 0.75x speed. Talk slowly. Walk slowly. Think Slowly. Just get worked up on how you gonna fuck it up.
And if you are not in a mood and thinking you are going to fuck it up. You probably will. Then just simply ignore.
Practice 0 emotions. In all things. No jealousy. No envy. No sad. No Happy. Whatever the fuck happens. Emotions doesn't make you think clearly. When you show 0 emotions you can think clearly and there are very less chances of you fucking something up.

TheSunshineMan · 2021-09-27T23:46:14+00:00

You thought just because you looked good, that you'd get girls in your bed?

Sorry it doesn't work that way..

Game is more important than looks..

Which you're now starting to learn..

Learn proper game, implement, prosper.

MoStuntin · 2021-09-28T02:45:56+00:00

Work out let the muscles talk for you

Paltenburg · 2021-09-28T07:40:12+00:00

Go on Tinder? I find it much easier to chat on there, because you can take your time for each message.

buffrmikaplz · 2021-09-28T01:09:01+00:00

Lmao, just flash them

Appropriate_Ad3327 · 2021-09-28T03:26:24+00:00

Bro wtf, you’re 6ft3

SnooApples6088 · 2021-09-28T07:35:53+00:00

Just ask a lot of questions all girls love one thing and one thing only , to talk about them selfs

moderndayfez · 2021-09-28T00:20:04+00:00

Gave you give us an example of a time?

Knightskywalker21 · 2021-09-28T05:53:06+00:00

Everyone in this forum should watch TheNaturalLifestyles on YouTube. It’s a game changer

Knightskywalker21 · 2021-09-28T05:59:43+00:00

I’m no pro but from what I’ve gathered from experience. Having a good mix of curiousity and sexual intent works. In addition, like believing in who you are (just being a man who is able to talk to her makes you valuable) and being okay having sexual feelings during the interaction.

Sure there’s certain techniques (like saying something kinda sexual and going back to normal conversation like nothing happened but keeping great eye contact)

But for the most part what I’ve gathered is A) feel congruent in yourself first. Do you believe who you are? B) BE CURIOUS FIRST C) Don’t be afraid to acknowledge attraction and intact it needs to be acknowledged in some way to make the interaction man and woman. D) Don’t cockblock yourself by not going for the close/ date/hang out.

BlueberrySnapple · 2021-09-28T07:13:06+00:00

This is what comes to my mind after reading you post, OP. I'm kind of facing a similar issue.

I think your problem may lie in that you aren't congruent.

When the girls see you, they think you are one way, but when you talk, you come off as another way.

So, you may look like one night stand material, but when you start talking to them, you start sounding like a boyfriend.

Find out what you want with girls, and have your whole message be about that one thing. From your dress and grooming, to where you hang out, to what you say and how you say it. Girls want to Define The Relationship (DTR) as quickly as possible, so make it easy for them and send one message with all of your verbal and non-verbal communications.

misscarter729 · 2021-09-28T12:56:41+00:00

What do you say when you talk to the ladies?

SnooApples6088 · 2021-09-28T13:00:47+00:00

Just speak your mind don’t try to think about it to much and see it as a convo with a buddy but a buddy you want to sleep with

Mmm91for · 2021-09-28T13:24:28+00:00

I take it that your a good looking dude. The game that you should apply is a little different than what others may have to apply.

Rather than being erratic just be layback and chill and keep in mind that your doing the women a favour.

Lean back against the wall, be mellow but smile, don’t talk too much to the point where you make her dry.

I adapted this game over the summer and it worked like a charm. I managed to have sex with a girl on the first date.

Just think about being smooth and incorporate being smooth with everything you do in your everyday; this will make it natural when your with a women

AelfredRex · 2021-09-28T14:46:43+00:00

As soon as you start talking they lose interest? Two words, man. Breath mints.

tnpersona · 2021-09-28T14:52:04+00:00

I always found that you should listen more than you talk especially when you first meet someone. Observe their appearance. You might notice something you could ask about. It sounds to me like the issue is that you just have trouble talking with people which is natural.

How are your conversations with guys?

meogdon · 2021-09-28T18:55:30+00:00

Lol funny I just witnessed an older gentleman get a younger woman’s number right in front of me. Still tryna hold back my jealousy. I wondering how he did it😂

GroundbreakingBus138 · 2021-09-28T20:31:57+00:00

Women are stupid so ya gotta be be direct ...no fear ...no bullshit

mdr615888 · 2021-09-28T20:37:49+00:00

What ive been doing recently that has given me success is playful banter. Just joke around and dont be to serious, it calms me down and makes me and the girl more comfortable. Id refrain from sexual jokes as they can be more creepy until you are more comfortable talking to girls.

Bitter-Window-4532 · 2021-09-28T20:54:46+00:00

Go to youtube and look up this channel: charismaoncommand

This should help you with your issue. Good conversation is your ability to make the other person open up and feel comfortable and natural around you. Thats the secret sauce. Ask deeper questions (for example instead of "what do you do for a living", ask them "what made you choose that career/job"? Or another one is "what did you dream of being when you were a little girl?"). People love to talk about themselves, it's human nature. Make the questions deeper/more vulnerable you will connect with them on another level

Other improvements others have mentioned: speak slower, have a deep/seductive voice, don't come off as unconfident (its likely showing in your body language and tonality)

I just recently pulled a girl who only spoke Spanish and barely talked to her (with the exception of some goolge translate conversations). So it can be done with little talking.

Its good you're here making an effort to improve, you're already way ahead so many others. You will have success soon!

recyclablebanthas · 2021-09-30T00:47:59+00:00

1

I’m so rubbish at chatting girls up and it’s doing my head in.

I do get a lot of girls approaching me saying I’m good looking and all that I also get alot of girls coming up to me and just getting off with me but as soon as I start speaking to them they seem to lose interest straight away don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

I’m a 6ft 3 male who goes gym and is mixed race

So you are noticing some important details but then you veer way off track here.

A.) You note that the trouble starts as soon as you start speaking and that they're losing interest almost immediately or quickly.

It's significant to note this because seduction is a social interaction and social interactions require social skills. You are literally noticing the problems as soon as your social skills (or apparent lack thereof) come to the forefront.

B.) You drop a note about your height, gym membership, and ethnicity, none of which constitutes social skills.

The mind is a funny thing and it will look for negative things about you. This is often referred to as negative self-talk.
Often our negative self-talk it will settle on things that one cannot control. This is a common reaction built on insecurity.

It's important to be able to debate one's own negative self-talk. It's not necessary to be unrealistically positive because that's often just as exaggerated and fake as the negative stuff that pops up in our heads.

But considering a few pretty easily observable facts can be helpful and it's something you should be focusing on. For example:

Your fitness, ethnicity, and height are literally the first things anyone sees of you and you have said that the first impression you're getting is generally pretty good until you open your mouth.
So obviously these things aren't the reason why things are going downhill and therefore are not even relevant to this conversation.

2

So, the solution here would be to make an adjustment to your way of thinking when you approach social interactions. There are some important concepts in this department:

Active listening is key. We are talking about something that's easily at least half of the battle. You should be listening as much or way more than you are speaking. Information is power and if you aren't listening and observing someone else as you interact with them, then you simply won't have it. An easy rule of thumb here is that if someone else is speaking / responding to something you've said, your mind should be completely focused on what they are saying, not thinking about what you're going to say next.
Observation overall is extremely important. When you're out among people, you are sharing an experience and that experience can provide fodder for conversation. Many things can be talked about if it's relevant to what's going on right then.

3

If you can give a detailed example of a recent interaction which went sour, then I could explain how the concepts I've mentioned would apply to it.

Where were you when you encountered this person?
Who opened who and how? What exactly was said and done?
What was the immediate reaction to the opening?
What topics of conversation were there after the opening?
When did you realize things had gone south and what did that look like?
How did the interaction come to an end?

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	265
Comments	112
Date	September 27, 2021 9:47 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pwrg6r/cant_pull_girls_to_save_my_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1275399 https://theredarchive.com/post/1275399

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