Police: "you harass girls!", got a fine of €100 and criminal record

Robobvious · 2019-06-03T18:53:08+00:00

Dude, nobody gets kicked out of every bar on the street plus a criminal record for no reason. How exactly are you approaching these women? What do you say to them? How do you say it? How do they react? If they’re not responding then what do you do? Etc. it sounds like you’re doing something fundamentally wrong, but without more info we can’t help.

AnonomousWolf · 2019-06-03T14:51:36+00:00

Sounds like you shouldn't be going out alone yet, try and meet up with a Pickup community in your area or a friend.

You're obviously doing something wrong to creep these girls out, and not realising it.
You need to find out what that is and stop doing it, a good wing will quickly spot this and point it out.

GodsGunman · 2019-06-03T19:29:16+00:00

Lol? You don't get a fucking criminal record from just talking to people in the street. There's obviously a lot not being shared here.

getyourlifeplease · 2019-06-03T16:46:24+00:00

Im not going to say YOU were a bad guy here, but Im also NOT toing to let it slide as if YOU are a victim. It is one thing to hit on girls and have them accuse you of being annoying. Harassment though? Means you kept at it and didnt take NO for an answer. And if you were banned by the club for that, then it makes sense. The fact you were fined by a court means you did something illegal (civilly) - so yeah...not buying that you just asked girls out and they told the bouncer. Im sorry.

My advice is to work on the social anxiety. Being creepy is that one area girls have no leeway for...none! And Im speaking as a girl...it makes women uncomfortable. It can sometimes be scary. And a guy that soesnt pickup social cues is usually the creeper! Get a friend you can practice with. Role play if necessary. Talk to random people when ylu are out at the store, library, mall...anyplace ylu can get over that social anxiety

PuroPincheGains · 2019-06-03T18:59:35+00:00

Look dude, women expect to be approached in a bar. Even if they aren't feeling it, they don't just go tell the bouncer. If girls are asking bouncers to handle you, you're being weird. Please write out a detailed play by play of one of your approaches so we can actually help you. Somewhere along the line, you're either giving off a bad vibe or overstaying you welcome. We need to figure out exactly where that is and stop it

ivan_mcnasty · 2019-06-03T19:40:17+00:00

You’re doing something wrong. Probably drunk and aggressive. I’ve never heard of anyone getting reported in my entire life, you really need to evaluate why this is happening to you

OfficialXYZ · 2019-06-03T15:04:08+00:00

What country are you in?

AngledLuffa · 2019-06-03T19:07:47+00:00

Maybe there's some connection with you drinking in order to hit on women, especially during the daytime.

Drunk guy gets kicked out bar for harassing women is not unusual. Drunk guy gets arrested during the daytime for harassing women is slightly more unusual, because who does that shit?

If people are literally ignoring you when you try talking to them, you need to seriously recalibrate your interactions.

someonesopinion6969 · 2019-06-03T19:38:51+00:00

is that it?

maybe you were actually harassing girls think about that? realize why they see you as harassing them.

you're lucky it wasn't worse.

a fine is nothing, i have community service for calling my ex girlfriend too many times after she told me to stop contacting. i spent months thinking about prison,

let this be a lesson to you. thou shall not put pussy on the pedestal

donaldtrumpsmistress · 2019-06-03T19:09:00+00:00

I had an incident of my own years ago. It'll get better the more you practice and get less anxious and become better socially calibrated. Most likely the issue is one of two things (or both):

1- excessive anxiety and hesitating to approach. This is the main thing I struggled with that'd get me in trouble. Make sure you follow a five second rule from now on if you don't already. If you're like me there isn't an malicious intent here, but it can look weird if you end up lingering (typically because I'm just really anxious of some person near them who will hear and I'll be embarrassed)

2 - not socially calibrated enough to know when they're uncomfortable. For now as you practice I'd say avoid any kind of 'plowing'. Keep it simple, express interest and if they give any excuse at all just give them a nice to meet you and be on your way. Even if they don't give one but just don't seem interested in speaking I'd wrap it up.

360DegreeNinjaAttack · 2019-06-03T21:39:05+00:00

Sounds like you were probably fined because you didn’t harass them hard enough

Just a guess

Ptolemy222 · 2019-06-03T22:10:23+00:00

This shit scares me the most.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-06-04T02:22:00+00:00

If someone said to you, "I have no money, what can I do to fix this?" You would have questions, right? Because you only have the result, but there are a bunch of things that lead to that result. You'd have to know what someone was doing with their money before it ran out, among other things.

What you have done is list off a few results, with pretty much nothing about how you arrived at those results. The implication here is that you have some improvement to make in your level of awareness, because you didn't even think any of this information was important to list and the picture one gets from reading your post is of understandable confusion.

Let's do a rundown of the gaps in what you have posted, and what they mean or indicate.

1

So I went to the nearest bar in my hometown, drinking and make some contact with girls.

This one sentence illustrates most of the problems here.

You summarize the whole complicated social experience of going out, as you "make some contact" with some girls. People write entire field reports about their interactions with a single girl. Essay long entries that describe a ton of details, and STILL leave important details out unintentionally. Three words is not nearly enough to describe what went wrong. "Making some contact" could mean a few thousand different things.
"Drinking," could have been an issue if you drank yourself drunk as you were "making some contact" with girls. When you drink, your ability to socially interact can easily become more hampered the drunker you get.

2

The problem is that after a few approaches some girl went to the bouncer and complaint about me. Without any discussion I was kicked out of the bar.

No, the problem is not that "some girl went to the bounder." You unintentionally made your own problem in the way you approached that girl.

Let's help you for real here. But in order to do so, you must fill in the gaps because you've left too much out here:

How did you open? What did you say and do?
What was their typical response to your opening words and actions?
What did you try to talk about with them, if you were able to start a conversation after the opener?
At what point was each interaction ending?

3

So I switched to daygame.. I have a lot of approach anxiety and try to curb that with drinking alcohol. Mostly girls will ignore me and continue their way. But this time the police came to me and said that I was harassing girls and got an fine and criminal record for €100.

Again, you did yourself no favors by getting drunk as you did this. And the same questions above apply here:

How did you open? What did you say and do?
What was their typical response to your opening words and actions?
What did you try to talk about with them, if you were able to start a conversation after the opener?
At what point was each interaction ending?

4

Overall, there is a basic model of social interaction that we need to look at here. It's between two people at least, and involves a two-way exchange, right? So with that in mind, this is what's happening:

Step 1: The first person transmits a signal verbally or non-verbally. Basically by talking or making gestures or facial expressions, etc.
Step 2: The other person receives that signal.
Step 3: The other person interprets that signal.
Step 4: The other person responds by transmitting a signal back out.
Step 5: The first person receives that signal, interprets it, responds, rinse and repeat.

Seems simple enough, right? It's like two radios communicating. The results you're getting though, are the kinds of things you see if you're not receiving well enough or if you're interpreting a signal incorrectly.

You've mentioned high anxiety issues. This issue is notorious for clouding a man's mind so that Step 5 is all but impossible because of how anxiety preoccupies the brain so much it has trouble receiving.

This is something you can address through therapy like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. You can't address it by taking you and the same problems to another city or country. You'll only reproduce the same results unless you face the central issue here.

IntensePancakes · 2019-06-03T20:01:13+00:00

You need to learn about social norms and cues. That is step zero of learning how to talk to women. There are tactful, socially acceptable ways to show your interest to women and you clearly not doing anything like that. You need to learn how to tell when a girl is uncomfortable and if she is, how to change your behavior. Just the fact that you were getting drunk in the day and trying to approach women lets me know that you are really far off the base of knowing what is acceptable. I get that you have anxiety but drinking in the day in public is not going to solve that for you. I think you need to take a step back and learn how to interact with people in a more general way before trying to meet women to date.

SolomonPierce · 2019-06-03T21:20:39+00:00

I'm imagining Dennis from Always Sunny 🤣

knockers_who_knock · 2019-06-04T00:08:47+00:00

1st time it’s a coincidence. 2nd time it’s a pattern. You’re doing something to creep these girls out, get a wingman to go with you and maybe he can point out what you’re doing wrong

AssEatingReindeer · 2019-06-03T19:44:51+00:00

I feel like theres a lot of "this happened to me" not "I caused this mindset". Try picking apart what you're doing or have someone else do it and see what the issue is. Maybe ask a female friend to get the other perspective

Kestrel887 · 2019-06-03T22:38:27+00:00

This shit just gave me anxiety what city is this in?

MBSCinsight · 2019-06-03T20:22:30+00:00

You should be focusing more on your inner game right now than trying to get girls. You can't ATTRACT girls if YOU are not ATTRACTIVE! I could tell from your stories your vibe is what is getting you in trouble because there is no way you get fined for approaching girls unless you make them feel uncomfortable. My suggestion to you would be to work heavily on your inner game it could take some years but it would be more than worth it in the long run.

SupremeFR · 2019-06-03T20:22:54+00:00

How was you approaching the girls? If you wasn't sexually harassing them then I'm not sure you can get fined? Unless you kept touching them etc?

DrinkerOfWater69 · 2019-06-03T21:54:15+00:00

This is why I don't approach women, I wait for the interesting ones to approach me. I'm an extremely tall and have somewhat of an Apache Indian RBF (I live in USA) so... approaching girls is kinda awkward when they ALWAYS find you scary and intimidating

Galahead · 2019-06-04T02:01:45+00:00

If you expect to receive any help here you need to tell us how you are approaching; what are you saying and how are you saying it to women?

You are clearly not telling the whole story here, as others have already discussed. What did you expect people to tell you if you dont tell us how you are approaching and what you are saying?

DajuanKev · 2019-06-04T02:15:48+00:00

I relate to you, man. It just makes you want to hate all of existence with already seeing couples.

We're the aliens.

comu_nacho · 2019-06-04T02:37:16+00:00

Were you approaching with your dick out?

midterm44 · 2019-06-03T15:13:55+00:00

I guess you must have felt very embarrassed. This will be a great story when you get good at gaming. Find someone to mentor you. It's hard when you have little feedback

2019-06-03T16:52:26+00:00

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2019-06-03T18:06:47+00:00

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TheXXL · 2019-06-03T15:26:34+00:00

Well, that sounds very orwellian and usually I would call bullshit, but in this days social climate, believable. Still makes me wonder what you do that you piss off girls so much they actually complain about you. Never happened to me, because if you are charming, they are usually very friendly.

Also one last thing, about the police record, you are aware that you can always disagree with things like that? Usually then this would have to go to court, and without evidence there's nothing to get you with.

Title	Police: "you harass girls!", got a fine of €100 and criminal record
Author	sumimigaquatchi
Upvotes	157
Comments	94
Date	June 3, 2019 2:43 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/bwbg3i/police_you_harass_girls_got_a_fine_of_100_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/police-you-harass-girls-got-a-fine-of-100-and.1470463 https://theredarchive.com/post/1470463

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