How do I know they want to be approached

drekoho · 2021-10-30T03:57:07+00:00

The best things in the world are hidden behind anxiety

GuaranteeOwn5108 · 2021-10-30T03:04:24+00:00

If you have that feeling about her you just approach… don’t wait for a signal.

letsgetrandy · 2021-10-30T03:13:27+00:00

Women don't generally go around hoping some stranger will approach them. They're probably on their way to something, or in the middle of doing something, and they're not even thinking about you.

Your approach may be appreciated or may be rejected -- you don't know what mood she's in, or if she doesn't want to be interrupted, or if she's not even single or interested in meeting someone. So what? Rejection is data, it's not a thing that should have the power to crush your soul.

HughBeaumont500 · 2021-10-30T14:46:36+00:00

Not sure of this antidote belongs here but here goes...

Had an attractive co-worker who I sat next to, only septated by a small cubicle wall. I was always listening to her conversations. I was bored. Office small. Shouldn't be blabbing all loud if you don't want other people to hear. Ok so the thing is she was speaking to another female co-worker that she was under a lot of stress and needed to just have a drink one night at a quiet bar and just relax.

Problem was (for her at least) she kept getting approached by guys. She got so annoyed she left before she had wanted to. I thought to myself, yeah that must suck. If I was in a mood to just be left a lone and sip a drink at the bar, it would happen. Nobody is going to approach me and break up silent sipping.

Few weeks later she was talking to same co-worker and I heard her complaining that she feels so crappy and she must be getting fat & old. Co-worker asked why? She said because she went to a bar for a glass of wine and no guys tried to hit on her. No dudes approached her and she was really upset and depressed about it.

And ... Long story to say... dammed if you do, dammed if you don't

byteseed · 2021-10-30T10:21:41+00:00

There are IOs, most obvious is eye contact. But usually it is very hard to notice in busy environments.

Do not look for confirmation, shift the frame: “She wants to be approached by me, we will have a great time interacting.” Woman want to be approached by the right man, you are the right man because you are improving yourself by stepping in the game, learning seduction and making life of everyone with you better.

Feelings are in your head, change them.

2021-10-30T02:38:16+00:00

[permanently deleted]

PiperBigBell · 2021-10-30T03:01:59+00:00

It doesn't matter what they want. It matters what YOU want. Too many guys in game, especially beginners, are obsessed with damage control or delaying rejection. You as a man have to lead and make things happen. You have to actually take a risk and go up to her. Approach, say your opening line, "Hey, can I meet you really quick, you're cute. I'm Dan." Socially calibrate to see if she's receptive. If she is, keep talking. If not. Wish her a great day and leave. This isn't rocket science. Your inner game is fucked up too. The way you feel about yourself won't get solved on this thread. You need coaching.

Shadow__Account · 2021-10-30T09:22:11+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ThinEntertainment134 · 2021-10-30T11:36:57+00:00

Eye contact is a good start. Catch their eye, look away, look back hold it and smile.

If they smile back then you can come up to her and talk. But don’t rush at her, take it slow and for goodness sake don’t surprise her.

2021-10-30T14:11:18+00:00

the only way is to approach them and see how it goes

2021-10-31T03:51:20+00:00

Nobody wants you to approach them.

That’s not to say it will be unwelcome if you do. The just aren’t standing around waiting for you specifically to approach them.

The way I deal with that is I don’t act like I’m doing somebody a favour by starting a conversation with them. If you’re approaching somebody it is because you want something from them. You know it. They know it. Best way to deal with that is to give them a reason up front so they aren’t guessing at your angle. Maybe you need directions. Maybe you are looking for a good spot for lunch. Personally, I generally need an opinion on if the cologne on my left wrist is better than the cologne on my right wrist and then (depending on how that goes) how they compare with the cologne on my neck. Admittedly, this does work better if you are wearing cologne.

corypheaus · 2021-10-30T12:22:33+00:00

you don't and you shouldn't even care. if she's on her own & seemingly not into anything remotely important in the moment, you approach.

tropius5 · 2021-10-30T16:24:07+00:00

It's not so much looking for someone they wants to be approached, because people are often just living their life. It's more looking for people that are approachable. Look for open palms, smiles, open body language in general. And remember, women are people just like you are, be friendly on your approach and talk to her like she's a person, not a goddess or a piece of meat and you'll do fine.

shaggy2gay · 2021-10-30T08:57:48+00:00

They don't want to be approached. Approach them anyway.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2021-10-30T13:36:31+00:00

You don’t know. That’s because it depends on how you do your approach mostly. A bad approach will be unwelcomed by all girls, a good approach will be welcome more often.

If you feel they don’t want you that has more to do with your low self esteem than an objective signal from her that they don’t want you.

You cannot read girls mind so your feeling comes from observation but your observation is flawed because the brain can’t really interpret how someone is feeling about you just by looking a random person.

A poker face from a girl doesn’t necessarily mean she dislike you as she can have that poker face by default with absolutely everyone including those that she likes.

if you get scared of messing up the interaction then i’m sorry but you need to know that messing up tons of times is how you get good with girls.

It’s like playing a game, at first you suck at it, you mess up and lose. Eventually after playing the game over and over you start getting good at it and your mess up less frequently and start to succeeding at it more often.

With girls it’s the same, you can only get good by playing the game of seduction over and over and messing up lots of times

TechnoGeek423 · 2021-10-30T14:55:17+00:00

Eye contact. If a girl makes eye contact and smiles with you that is GAME ON. Honestly I’m not in the group that just says approach regardless. If a girl is clearly in another headspace and looks like she just got horrible news then give her the respect you’d want.

I hate when I’m having a terrible day and some street hawker approaches me to donate to some cause.

Use some basic common sense.

Effortless0 · 2021-10-30T15:46:26+00:00

Happy cake day cosmic now go get you some cake

draconic_leo · 2021-10-30T17:26:28+00:00

It's all about the way you approach.

If you are looking for a return out out of it then it will never come across as genuine and will be rejected.

A small compliment can go over well or a simple question like, "what type of tomato sauce do you prefer" will normally be welcomed.

yourgirlfriendsdad · 2021-10-30T17:45:35+00:00

You go out and approach 1000 girls over the course of a year. Then you will have developed the instincts to know which girls are approachable which are on the fence and which will likely blow you out. You'll also have your player card and you'll stop believing anything on this terrible subreddit.

humptyone · 2021-10-31T04:41:49+00:00

If you dont ask, you'll never know. Had the same thing happen to me. I waited until the night I was leaving the country to tell a girl I wanted to ask her out. She gave me a hug and kiss and said I should have. The answer would have been yes. Have thought about this the rest of my life

FullClip55 · 2021-10-31T18:39:58+00:00

Forget your worries and just go in. Half the fun is in the tension of the gamble and you'll know if it worked or not really quick. If it did work, then great, if not, it's like you got off a rollercoaster. Make it a challenge and having fun while doing it.

External_Lifeguard49 · 2021-10-30T10:52:25+00:00

Your trying to avoid rejection, which in life is pretty much impossible. Also stop making the game about women, if you see a girl you like just go up and talk to her, so what if she doesn’t want to be approached.

Redbloxs · 2021-10-30T09:00:57+00:00

Think? What? Just approach and ask her how her day was.. easy. If shes dull, cut her, if shes fun to talk and listen to, maybe you got something started

joseman122 · 2021-10-30T13:14:50+00:00

It doesn’t fucking matter if she wants to be approached or not. She is lucky to have you going up and speaking to her like barely any other guys would. If you speak to her correctly she will not care, and will be interested in you. Even if you don’t speak well, doesn’t matter. Move on.

Hooosreddit · 2021-10-30T02:54:36+00:00

Just ask?

ToxicFemininity279 · 2021-10-30T13:40:25+00:00

Most women feel the same way too! Just talk about what’s happening in the moment or the reason you wanted to speak with the lady. If you get uncomfortable just be honest and admit how nervous you are. Apologize if you say something weird and just laugh at yourself a bit.

JackTheRipper_17 · 2021-10-30T15:11:29+00:00

all girls want to be approached. why would they not like some dude come up to them and tell she's pretty? it's primal female nature to like male validation

Nofapthrowaway2003 · 2021-10-30T17:32:30+00:00

They all wanna be approached if youre a cool guy bro, get on that 💪🏼

Tel-aran-rhiod · 2021-10-30T08:56:07+00:00

Honestly, I'm going to be the wet blanket here and say that cold-approaching random women, as a man, is actually not a good idea in the vast majority of situations. I'm planning some future articles and videos that really flesh this out and explain it fully, but men generally have no idea what it's like being a woman, let alone an attractive woman. The pickup community is a bit of an echo-chamber where you're not going to come across all the random posts from these women who are literally having breakdowns because they just want to be left alone and are tired of being harassed by random men constantly. Especially in this day and age, there are SO MANY ways to meet single people to date that don't require you to harass strangers in the park/street/wherever as they just go about their days - use dating apps, meet people in the real world through hobbies and activities you're interested in, make friends, go to parties, and learn to just be tactful, upfront and respectful in expressing your interest in people romantically

MidnightNinja627 · 2021-10-30T22:59:09+00:00

I’ve noticed that although many women are passive when it comes to showing interest, they’ll do very little things. They’ll position themselves closer to you, they’ll make eye contact, their body language will be open and inviting. It depends on where you are of course, but if she seems like she would give you a good conversation, take your shot. Better to shoot the shot and miss than you wish you would’ve gone for it.

rudebwoy100 · 2021-10-31T01:48:40+00:00

Have confidence enough to think that you're interesting and attractive enough that they always want to be approached. You don't need to wait on any signals, go after what you want.

looking4desire · 2021-10-31T11:10:57+00:00

Lookout for a guy that's been close to all night trouble if u can knock a brother out swing first period ask questions later walk up to her confident and say hey I'm so and so do u realize how long I been wanting to talk to u

Sweet-Yogurt-2000 · 2021-10-31T14:42:51+00:00

Notice how the girl(s) respond to you. Then decide. You can always ask her or them

ryanmc1989 · 2021-11-01T03:05:10+00:00

Any signs such as eye contact, a smile etc are rare… if it happens absolutely go for it… but even if she doesn’t give signals just go for it. Who cares if she rejects you! Unless it’s in the gym or somewhere you go regularly and you think you’ll run into her again, go for it

Title	How do I know they want to be approached
Author	Cosmic_gamerx_
Upvotes	132
Comments	103
Date	October 30, 2021 1:30 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qir4sf/how_do_i_know_they_want_to_be_approached/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-know-they-want-to-be-approached.1273303 https://theredarchive.com/post/1273303

Comments