How do I make sure that it's a date and not a friend hangout?

getyourlifeplease · 2019-05-18T12:45:46+00:00

So you have girls in your room/go to their room...but do you make ANY moves on them at all (try to kiss them)? Guys that dont try to escalate are just that - friends.

paco9208 · 2019-05-18T13:23:25+00:00

Be less polite and take more risks. Tell a story about something sexual that happened once, look at the lips after eye contact. Make it tense!

Notgaytoday · 2019-05-18T14:41:25+00:00

My Mom told me when I was 16 y/o; if you don’t ask for it you won’t get any. Thanks Mom.

NotEvenLegit · 2019-05-18T13:41:00+00:00

Be more assertive and get more physical. Dude you got girls alone in your room and you're not making a move, that's telling the girl you're either a pussy or you're gay. If a girl trust you enough to be alone in a room with you it means she's comfortable enough to have sex or least getting sexual. A girl is most likely not going to initiate sex, she expects the guy to do it. So be a man and do it. Why I stress sex so much is because the best way to avoid the friendzone is to ask for a relationship after you guys have had sex.

Mo_Lester69 · 2019-05-18T12:37:30+00:00

Introduce a little sexual tension in you'r communications

ayyycameron · 2019-05-18T13:36:25+00:00

If they’re a familiar person, explicitly use the word “date”. It’s not as weird as you may think. Maybe it seems foreword. But I’ve been doing that since forever and it sends the message “hey I don’t wanna be just your friend I might get all up in that girl”. Ya dig?

ImJustSo · 2019-05-18T18:01:25+00:00

So when the majority of women put themselves alone with you, they're interested in you. Women do not try to be alone with guys that they don't like.

So what are you supposed to do now? First thing you do is think to yourself, "She didn't come here to be friends and I don't want to be friends. I want to be lovers. I only meet potential lovers in private, not friends." That might not be true, perhaps you're alone with friends often, but you could change that. You could make it a rule that you try keeping friendships in public places.

Personally, I don't invite women to my house unless we're moving towards a physical relationship, otherwise they stay in public places. If they do end up in my house and I don't plan on seducing her, then I keep it formal and stay in formal areas of the house.

Why do I do that? Why should you? You need a place that you know is for sexy times, so that you know how to act during sexy times. It's about comfort. It's about yours and hers. It's about trust. She trusts you enough to enter your personal FUCK sanctuary and you should trust her enough to accept her. She's chosen you and she's entered your space, you aren't even going to touch her? That's cold hearted.

She entered your room and you won't even kiss her? That's messed up.

She's accepted the danger of being alone with you and you won't even give her the physical comfort and reassurance that she's a beautiful girl that you desire and won't purposely harm?

Women can't make those moves on you, they already do a ton and if you think about how much they actually put themselves out there, maybe you'd consider how often you reject their messages. How many times has a small woman been alone with you and how many times have you refused to touch or kiss her because you are scared?

These chicks are scared and look what they still do....they enter our fuck sanctuaries.

justusesimpletruth · 2019-05-18T15:06:01+00:00

How do you initially establish your connections with these girls? If within the first few moments of getting to know someone you don't indicate that you have an attraction for them (by complimenting them, telling her she's cute, asking if they have a bf, figuring out mutual interests etc) you've almost automatically put yourself in the friend zone and it's going to be hard to re-establish a sexual connection with that person.

Next time you meet a woman you're attracted to. Show her your attraction even if that means getting rejected.

PeithoPan · 2019-05-18T18:24:27+00:00

kino, kino, kino.

Touch her at elbows and shoulders in the start, and move inwards towards back and lower back during the encounter. Hugs if possible naturally.

Yes...without touching you are just friends. By definition almost.

diktikkles · 2019-05-19T08:13:20+00:00

Are you flirting with then much? If you aren’t, then you need to start doing it. Or learn how/practice if you don’t know how, which it sounds like you may not.

Things should be playful & light. You should be saying and doing things that indicate that you’re interested in these women. Test the waters. You need to give the women you’re interested in the vibe that things between you are romantic and fun. Not intellectual and neutral. Try ever so slightly to make things more physical. You can’t have romance without getting some hands on eachother periodically.

If you aren’t getting positive feedback/responses then they aren’t interested in being anything beyond friends, don’t force it. Forcing it is awkward and will melt you self esteem because it won’t go well.

Oh and my biggest piece of advice-

Do night time dates. Drinks. Walk around somewhere interesting. Daytime brunch/tea is not very exciting or interesting, definitely not the vibe for romance, maybe in the movies but not real life. Remember that the night is your friend. Especially if a little alcohol is involved. Don’t forget to have fun.

Notgaytoday · 2019-05-19T13:32:30+00:00

Every situation is different. Yesterday I was having a drink with a woman, we both had a little bit of a buzz, and I said to her, “I really need to get my dick wet”. She replied, “I’m sure I can help you with that”.

sink_flower234 · 2019-05-18T10:27:07+00:00

Be super specific when you ask a girl on a date. Tell her “I want to share your company one to one this Friday.” Something like that .. make sure you say one to one. You’re getting friendzoned because you’re too chickenshit to spell out what it is you really want and girls are taking advantage of your ambiguity.

canarywocoalmine · 2019-05-18T15:17:01+00:00

You need to physically escalate. This can start with something as simple as saying something funny and bumping her with your elbow, they was you might with a Male friend when you make a joke. When you are talking and make a point, touch her leg and leave your hand too long. If shes wearing shorts or a skirt, you can notice she has nice legs and caress it. You can notice she has nice nails and ask to see her hand. Then, keep holding it. Also listen to any complaints, I've had women complain of a sore shoulder, perfect reason for a massage. When you start touching her shes going to start getting turned on.

DriedUpPlum · 2019-05-18T16:27:30+00:00

Stop worrying about rejection. if a woman goes home with you (dorm or whatever) then there is a better chance than not she is interested unless you’ve been hanging out for a long time then your in the friendzone.

Rejection is the best thing that can happen to you when you are learning PUA/seduction.

PuroPincheGains · 2019-05-18T18:52:08+00:00

It's always a date. I actually suggest you stop inviting them to your room and instead do date stuff like a drink or coffee somewhere. Not that you can't do a date at home, but the general rule is that if she comes to your place it's on, but doing that as a first meet up can blur some lines because it's so early and you haven't actually built up aby intimacy. But it's always a date until she says otherwise. She's not dumb. She knows she's hanging out 1 on 1 and whether or not she wants it to be a date or not, she knows you might want it to be. So shoot your shot. Who cares if you get turned down? Nobody cares except you snd your bruised ego. I agree about one thing, if you keep inviting girls to your room and then try to make moves on them, you will get a reputation. That's less likely to happen if you make your dates more date like.

paulinbc · 2019-05-19T05:06:10+00:00

Give her the D.

Grifos · 2019-05-22T10:44:55+00:00

https://youtu.be/L6kPtRTMtOc

DaRealMidnight · 2019-05-18T20:58:15+00:00

Watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1Mwr1pDusQ

cal800 · 2019-05-18T23:48:13+00:00

Escalate physically. Either you close or blow out and move onto the next chick but either way stop wasting time.

BetterBeLuckyThanGud · 2019-05-18T15:17:00+00:00

A story about ego

I have this friend who is very bold and also become bald later on , but doesnt matter.

Popular , handsome , a bit like you anon1029. He has this win win story that always amazed me.

At some point in the date, girl come over , and will have to use the bathrom. While she is there, he is in the other room and litteraly put his balls \package on the table.

You either get to fuck the girl , or get to be rejected and become a legend =)

what`s gonna be your choice anon1029 ?

Sunupu · 2019-05-18T19:27:32+00:00

"I'm sorry, but I like you and I think being friends would get messy. I respect if you're not looking for a relationship, but I think we should agree to keep our distance before one of us gets our feelings hurt."

Your goal needs to be being pure in your intentions, and that means setting rules for yourself and your relationships. Most think of this as kindness versus pushiness, but it's actually manipulation versus authenticity - you can be respectful and kind while establishing what you want out of relationships

Title	How do I make sure that it's a date and not a friend hangout?
Author	anonanon1029
Upvotes	70
Comments	65
Date	May 18, 2019 10:21 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/bq2jg1/how_do_i_make_sure_that_its_a_date_and_not_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-make-sure-that-its-a-date-and-not-a.1469116 https://theredarchive.com/post/1469116

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