How do you guys learn game?

norwegiandoggo · 2026-03-18T09:34:20+00:00

The best way to learn is to try, fail, evaluate / think about what you did and why you failed.

"Structured material" is not the best way to learn social skills.

If you want to learn faster and better: Seek out more rejection. Then think about why you got rejected, and adjust your approach. Learn from your failures.

Certain-Income3392 · 2026-03-18T11:13:25+00:00

You first start with a hypothesis…

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2026-03-18T23:45:45+00:00

As someone who didnt learn until my mid 20s, really the best way is to go out and practice. But also practiuce correctly.

For me here's a few things i did:

- changed the way i dressed. First and foremost, looks are not the #1 way of getting women but women will decide they wont fuck you if you look poorly or like you dress like a HS student. Dressing well will get them to at least keep the door open, your personality will take it home. So for me i got female friends and told them, pick out clothes for me and i will pay for it. I just get veto power. And i bought like 80% of the things that thye wanted me to wear. I didnt even break the bank, i bought shit form amazon and the gap that were on sale. Bomber jackets, dark jeans, nice polo shirts that fit me well, baseball hats, etc. I even wore more cologne more often.

- get a more modern haircut and grow/groom your beard. Beard goes a long way for women. I was getting buzz cuts before and i decided to get more fades and that workde well for me.

- I went to events designed for people to meet. Whether it was networking events, dating events, meetups, etc. I went to them all. I didnt go to get women i went to just get comfortabel meeting strangers and approaching. I apporached men and women. Because i realzied that i was scared of meeting strangers in general. And i have found that in many men who struggle, they struggle to talk to strangers even men. So i had to practice and not let that be a struggle. With guys it was easier, i didnt care to be their friend, or fuck them, etc. So id find common ground, guy was wearing a baseball hat? I'd talk baseball with him for a few minuites, if it went well and i felt like we could be good frineds, i got his number. Then i tried to translate that with women. Complement something they were wearing, ask them where tehy got it from, hype them up, shoot the shit with them, etc. And most importantly i did not expect to get their number, if it went well ig ot it if not i just walked away.

- Treat women more like you would a bro. They are not glass vases, they can take a joke. So instead of trying to walk on eggshells, be yourself most will appreciate not being treeated like a glass vase and want to shoot the shit with you.

- Understand women go out for fun, men go ou tot get laid. So it's a transaction, dont expect a 5 minute conversation to lead to getting a woman's number. It does not work like that, you gotta give that woman 2-3 hours of fun if you meet her at a bar for her to even consider calling you back or not ghosting you. Think about it, you talk to her for 5 minutes, that's like 1% of the night to her when shew as tipsy. Why would she answer you call if you did get her number? Dont try to get laid off the bat, enjoy the moment, enjoy the conversation and enjoy the night. Im not saying it will 100% lead to you getting laid, but it will increase your odds.

- Understand that even for guys who pull a lot, their success rate is like 5%. They are just talking to everyone. They focus their night on their own enjoyment over gettin gthe girl. They dont care to get the girl, they just want to have a good night.

- You will fail more than you succeed. That's ok. This is for you to learn from your mistakes and adjust but you cant do that if you dont try and learn from it. Even today, ive had girls that i dance with all ngiht, kiss, etc. Get ghosted next day. So i think what i could have done differently a bit, how i could have better lead it there, while also understanding that you could do everything perfect and she is just no down for that and that's ok. You might just be a fun drunk night to her. For women, they value kissing a guy at the bar over going home with him and maybe that's what you were to her that night.

- You will get frustrated, you will get annoyed, you will feel dumb at times and like a fool. Keep at it. It will get better and click one day. Dont give up because you had a rough few weeks or months. Some of this takes months to be 2nd nature. If you need a break, that's ok but just dont make it a habit.

Terrible_Assist_1345 · 2026-03-18T09:37:35+00:00

There are many ways. I found a guy who mastered it all and helps me. Thanks to him I'm learning it pretty quick.

It's best to have 1 source and follow it because there is so much material out there. But it doesn't work if you follow multiple sources mixed. Eventually when you understand the way it works you can mix it because you understand how it's related to eachother.

V3X390 · 2026-03-18T11:25:22+00:00

Best thing you can do is practice some ideas with big girls. Same feedback but they’re a lot more forgiving. Low risk of rejection too. Take the basics from wherever and just practice until you have your own game that can’t be replicated. Girls love a guy that has moves they’ve never seen before, makes you appear more genuine.

vertascend · 2026-03-18T10:34:22+00:00

It took me over 4 years to learn game; all through tossing myself into the environment and making mistakes and learning

jsbach123 · 2026-03-18T09:57:32+00:00

Don't buy into any rigid system. It's either crap or by people trying to make money as coaches or gurus.

aeturnus95 · 2026-03-18T10:29:56+00:00

Trial and error. It's good talking and writing to as many women as possible. As often as managable. And learn from your mistakes by any means.

ArjunVermaReddit · 2026-03-18T12:21:48+00:00

I have a free site I’m working on. DMing you if you are serious

Dandys3107 · 2026-03-18T12:22:52+00:00

There are plenty of books and courses that are available out there, published by successful pickup artists or other seduction masters. As for my experience, unfortunately I've only read theory written in my native language (Polish) and it was long time ago. But, I would give away simple rule of a thumb. Read everything. And test learnt mindsets and methods in real life circumstances. And maybe get some company to cheer you up and help you process feedback, like a wingman?

fireqwer · 2026-03-18T14:01:37+00:00

there's nothing to really 'learn' as such. It's not rocket science. I mean, how did you learn to make friends? you didn't need a course or to read books

game is just talking to girls. And if you can tell they are into you, you flirt and stuff (and so will she). It's more about putting yourself out there and trying to find the girls who want you

snoooopd0g · 2026-03-18T13:30:56+00:00

some of us (especially me), cant risk for the rejection for some reasons. so please be nice and guide us, at least be kind and give us flow digram on how to doit.

thanks!
sincerely noobies of the game

nicoroma0610 · 2026-03-18T14:04:11+00:00

Old classic, reliable books.

Virtual_Ad_4817 · 2026-03-18T19:32:54+00:00

Mystery Method is more of an end-to-end system, although I think it overcomplicates the game a lot.

The tips from youtube are often trash. You need to work on things that actually apply to your sticking points, not just whatever Bobby McPUA is talking about this week on his youtube channel.

Most often you have to pay for those things. Free resources will only get you so far.

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2026-03-18T21:02:55+00:00

I'm an old guy, and I always recommend the same old book.

How to Succeed with Women by Ron Louis and David Copeland. Teaches you how to attract women without being an asshole.

Stay away from anyone on social media. They make their money from views and brand deals, so they incentivize rage bait instead of giving good advice.

Kronuk · 2026-03-18T21:33:54+00:00

I would watch videos, I read a few books, but most of all I was going out almost every day of the week with friends and socializing a lot. Talked to and dated many women like that before ever thinking about learning game. So as long as you’re doing like 80% action and 20% learning you should be good. It helps that my best buddy was interested too so we would talk about it and go out to practice and be each other’s wingman.

dobbs1997 · 2026-03-18T23:06:53+00:00

what’s game ?

symmetricpancake · 2026-03-19T02:03:12+00:00

The best way to learn is imitation watch others eavesdrop or insert yourself into a way you can observe others who look like they’re having success. From doing this I’ve determined it’s mostly just a looks thing. status, money, confidence help, but are no substitute for looks.

Are you laughing? Looking like you’re enjoying yourself? That’s also a magnet for others

Milmoney43 · 2026-03-19T02:49:12+00:00

Keep it simple and apply what you learn.

Pedro_Moona · 2026-03-19T07:00:36+00:00

Unapologetic man podcast

SettingOutrageous538 · 2026-03-20T04:05:32+00:00

My best advice eis to just pick one simple routine and run reps: opener, one personal statement, one playful tease, one invite. Then review what broke. The guys saying “just get rejected more” are directionally right, but you improve way faster when you practice the same tiny sequence instead of winging new stuff every set. I started treating it like skill drills, even used RizzRise for short daily convo reps, and confidence jumped because I stopped guessing and started training specific moves.

abcsofattraction · 2026-03-20T15:42:34+00:00

The “just go fail and adjust” approach works eventually but it’s slow and inefficient because most guys can’t accurately diagnose why they failed. You think it was your opener when it was actually your body language. You think she wasn’t interested when you actually ejected too early. Without a framework, random trial and error produces random results.

Game has three pillars and you need all three working together:

Inner game is your mental and emotional foundation. State control, approach anxiety management, self-worth that isn’t contingent on her reaction. This is the hardest to fix and the most impactful. A guy with weak inner game telegraphs it before he says a single word. No amount of lines fixes that.

Outer game is your physical presentation. Body language, posture, eye contact, vocal tonality, fashion, how you take up space. This operates before you open your mouth and sets the frame for everything that follows. Most guys underinvest here because it requires confronting uncomfortable truths about how they actually come across versus how they think they come across.

Verbal game is your conversation skills, humor, storytelling, escalation, leading interactions forward. This is what most guys focus on exclusively because it feels the most learnable. It’s also the least impactful if the other two pillars are broken.

The reason YouTube and TikTok feel scattered is because each video hits one technique in isolation without connecting it to the system it belongs to.

If you want something structured with actual infield video demonstrations, we have a 30-day free trial of our online Academy that covers all three pillars with real infield video examples.

Living_Topic7994 · 2026-03-18T09:32:56+00:00

Find random girls and Reddit and talk to them Have stated doing that recently and I can tell i am more confident now

Accomplished_Cow7116 · 2026-03-18T13:00:47+00:00

Real thing is not the game (which is only 10% of the equation). The real thing is whether you feel worthy from inside to romance a woman. Develop that.

Title	How do you guys learn game?
Author	sabaron8
Upvotes	35
Comments	55
Date	March 18, 2026 9:28 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1rwz4v4/how_do_you_guys_learn_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-guys-learn-game.1575796 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575796

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