How much does a good personality increase attractiveness for you?

BurnablesOnMondays · 2019-12-26T06:33:39+00:00

This is something I didn't fully grasp until my last relationship. Hooked up with a hot chick who had an average face and her only hobby was EDM. Dated for three years, lived together, and towards the end I just got tired of her. She still had a rockin' body, but the spoiled brat moments piled up and I just couldn't take interest in her any more because EDM and clubbing only requires three things of the participant: money, a pulse, and a functioning brain.

I started to find myself more attracted to certain facial features and personalities that have hobbies that require more effort and self-improvement, despite having totally average or even curve-less bodies. I'm still trying to parse through the cognitive dissonance of it all, since I'm biologically wired to chase curves.

Darukoaus · 2019-12-26T07:04:11+00:00

As I age, personality becomes a cornerstone for me.

Granted, physically attractive women definitely turn my head more quickly, but a reasonably pretty woman with a good personality has them beaten, several times over.

When I'm around a woman I can open up with, someone with whom I have inside-jokes, and that happiness-bubble of conspiratorial fun and chicanery and playful sexual tension; someone around whom I can allow some of my harmless idiosyncrasies to manifest, anyone else - even if they're more attractive - becomes far less relevant in the same room.

mrmoorer32 · 2019-12-26T06:01:38+00:00

I’d fuck me

sweetnightowl · 2019-12-26T04:25:12+00:00

I am more attracted to someone’s personality. Physical appearance fades away, but personality stays forever.

BlackUnicorn369 · 2019-12-26T03:26:01+00:00

This is why lost guys wives are above or below average and not some smoking hot chick that don’t bring nothing to the table but a bill and sex if there even conscious enough to put that much effort into something other than there looks. The ones with personality give off those best friend, mother of my kids vibes. Especially if there funny too. Not to say a good woman can’t be good looking I just find it funny how the “bad” chicks really have bad communication and people skills. You ain’t the only one. The example is funny and true but the hot girls always get cheated on with the average girl that has some level of personality.

Demmitri · 2019-12-26T06:44:49+00:00

Takes a girl from a 7 to a 9. And a bad personality takes a girl from a 7 to a 5.

It seems a lot of guys here have had bad experiences with the 10's. For me, personally, i find the 10's to have better personalities on average, or at least more suitable to my own. I've never got the myth of "hot=boring". But that could just be down to my definition of a 10.

WIA20XX · 2019-12-26T08:05:17+00:00

On the typical ten point scale, +4.

On my scale? - - Face - 10 pts.
- Body - 10 pts.
- Style - 5pts.
- Personality - 10 pts.
- commonalities - 5 pts.

I then do some regression analysis on my differing ratings over the course of 2-3 hours, looking for a median of 24.0 points, with 95% confidence interval.

If we're talking LTR status, that usually ties up the 2080ti, so I'll rent some time quantum computing time over at IBM.

Whopper_Jr · 2019-12-26T07:18:46+00:00

Personality is influenced by culture as well. I find great chemistry with foreign women—mostly Eastern-European, some Latin/S American. I feel like a lot of women raised in the progressive west have been inured to a cultural narrative that has increasingly blurred the lines between masculinity and femininity, which makes chemistry less dynamic. A lot of women I have met with foreign backgrounds have an attitude and fierceness that is very distinctly feminine in its manifestation which is much more fun and exhilarating to play with.

Within American cultural strata there are distinctions that can eliminate a woman entirely from consideration (ghetto slang and voice inflection is an automatic cut, no matter how physically attractive). Unique personal traits also obviously play a role in attraction, but culture is a powerful marinade.

2019-12-26T08:05:50+00:00

A guy could be "possibly what I could find attractive" or "sort of my type" but it won't mean anything or result in me being interested in him unless I really like his personality.

Drygord · 2019-12-26T05:33:05+00:00

The selfish hot girl becomes a princess when talking with attractive guys. Just saying.

ffriendzone · 2019-12-26T07:25:49+00:00

nah super common. if she’s hot but she sucks.. then she still sucks lol

MisterB0wTie · 2019-12-26T09:47:10+00:00

Everything you like about the "hot" girl will sag, get wrinkles and go grey... but the girl with personality can keep on getting better even when she's 50!

axe122 · 2019-12-26T14:52:20+00:00

It helps but I’ve tried doing non shallow dating when I was younger and it’s a waste of time. Unattractive girls still want the same level of attention and do all the same annoying things hotter girls do so it’s really not worth it.

I will say finding a nice balance is ideal, I wouldn’t ever date someone I wasn’t physically attracted to no matter how good her personality is again as it doesn’t work for me. We had a lot of arguments over the fact that I only wanted to sleep with her when I was super horny and she wanted me all the time as I work out a lot and am more on the good looking side.

I’ve also dated one of the hottest girls I’ve ever seen irl and she had that hot to crazy ratio so I ended that too. A good personality can absolutely make a girl I’m kinda attracted to me attractive. I go for a 50/50 split now and won’t settle for less (in an exclusive relationship)as I’m just wasting both our time.

BostonPatriotSox · 2019-12-26T07:45:18+00:00

It seems like the average frustrated chumps on here are the ones who say "looks aren't everything, personality is!" and the guys who actually get the girls are the ones saying "well, actually...some hot girls have great personalities!" It's quite simple, they do. The AFC's just don't know any better because 1. They have never been with a really hot girl, and 2. They are used to getting treated like shit by hot girls so naturally they will think their personality sucks. This is quite funny to read..

Oh, and to the idiot who tried saying that's why guy's wives aren't smoking hot, etc. Yeah, you're completely full of shit. Their wives aren't attractive because they could never get a smoking hot woman to marry them in a million years. Don't kid yourself there, chump.

vetiarvind · 2019-12-26T12:43:43+00:00

Hot girls mostly have a bitch vibe. I'm fairly sensitive to subtle energies and I can sense their insecurities masked by bitchiness. I usually don't even acknowledge their existence. There are some genuinely good hot ones though. Anyway, remember that they all become unattractive after a few years. It's only the personality that matters for marriage.

saito200 · 2019-12-26T11:33:23+00:00

Of course she is more attractive if she has a good personality. She is much more attractive. Same token, a cute girl with a bad personality (selfish, mean, crybaby, cowardish, shallow...) may end up disgusting you.

-AlrightThen- · 2019-12-26T11:50:15+00:00

No this is more common than you think, but usually as someone matures

magnetradio · 2019-12-26T14:44:20+00:00

Hot women bring men status. There are some average-looking women I would pick over a "Instagram Modelesque" woman.

When a woman can't rely on her physical attractiveness with certain men, it increases his value to her. He's not thirsty and if she steps out of line, he won't hesitate to leave her. This forces her to bring something else to the table... like a good personality. I love a beautiful personality. Because guess what? If you put an average-looking woman in front of a man, he's gonna fuck. If you put a hot woman in front of a man, he's gonna fuck. The one with the best personality tends to edge out the other.

When a man starts to value himself more, he will value the personality more than a hot chick with no personality.

OKKira · 2019-12-26T16:12:06+00:00

Personality is the tipping point for me if I'm not 100% on board with the way a guy looks or if there are other red flags (no job, living with parents). Unfortunately when I was younger I often mistook pick up routines for personality, so for me it has to take place over a longer period of time now.

KayArts · 2019-12-26T13:29:46+00:00

Man this threat is depressing to read as a below average looking girl. To summon up: Almost everyone prefers an average/slightly above average looking girl with good personality over a mean, hot one. But if she's ugly, personality doesn't matter.

For me it's all about personality, if you want to look at something pretty just look up a pretty picture? A good personality can't be replaced and the relationship will just not work out if you don't like talking to your partner.

tiltmaxx · 2019-12-26T10:30:07+00:00

I wish more people were like you, people are sooooo shallow, right? I get told that I'm a friendly and pleasant guy, I'm quite an atractive guy but during my teen years I suffered with a LOT of acne, I was a little chubby and had very full curly hair, so you can imagine I wasn't exactly prince charming lol. Anyways, we always hear people saying how they care more about personality than looks but that is completely false because I experienced that closely. If you're not good looking, rich or popular girls have no interest in dating you lol.

2019-12-26T13:03:49+00:00

100% ... Looks attract momentarily. Personality sticks and astounds on a deeper level.

theweeone0312 · 2019-12-26T08:12:06+00:00

My partner has an actual beautiful personality. I remember I had left my ex who is very handsome to most people and I met my current partner for a date and it was kind of disappointing? Weird feeling I've never had but after that first date and his personality shone through he just became immensely attractive wow

Esquivo · 2019-12-26T09:27:30+00:00

It increases you attractiveness by 18 points

reee998 · 2019-12-26T10:39:59+00:00

Good looks attract attention and a good personality maintains it. I'd go for a below avg looking guy with a good sense of humor and a captivating personality instead of an extremely hot guy with a below avg personality.

ArmitageShanks69 · 2019-12-26T12:00:51+00:00

There's a temp worker at my organisation, she is about 50, short and dumpy with a puffy face - physically just not attractive at all. Though I cannot recall ever meeting someone so lovely, friendly chatty, GSOH, fun to be around, always happy and smiling. I wouldn't hesitate to date this woman - platonically.

On the flip side, I see plenty of young, attractive, hot girls who walk around with faces like slapped arses (99% of the time I interpret it as 'don't you fucking dare even look at me let alone speak to me') and I wouldn't spare a minute of my day on these folk.

Alex_O7 · 2019-12-26T12:27:27+00:00

Personality is absolutely a big turn on for me.

randomcritical · 2019-12-26T12:58:16+00:00

Anybody can be beautiful on the outside. It takes time effort dedication and discipline tp become a good person.

plaze6288 · 2019-12-26T13:28:00+00:00

It helps but you gotta need in a position to show it. Its hard to show what you got that's why i hate online dating

jupitersmom · 2019-12-26T13:55:39+00:00

Personality is the number one thing for me. In fact, if my partner is having a bad day and lashing out, then I don’t want to do anything with him. It isn’t about punishing his bad behavior, it’s that all my desire goes away. It becomes a catch-22. He needs the contact to chill out and stop being a jerk but because he’s being a jerk it is hard for me to give him the contact.

TodBB · 2019-12-26T14:00:08+00:00

Any girl, even a hot girl who doesn’t have a good personality makes my cock shrivel. I can’t have sex with a mean girl. I have to like her or I can’t get hard. So it is important

Loze1 · 2019-12-26T14:26:12+00:00

Recently, I thought that I couldn't get swept off my feet for anyone, anymore. Started getting to know a coworker better and was proven wrong. I know better than to listen to my emotions. To me it's the universe's way of telling me there's hope finding a rare good one out there.

AngryUnicorn86 · 2019-12-26T14:33:03+00:00

This has always been so important to me when I'm with a guy too. Personality wins hands down.

tahealia · 2019-12-26T14:35:46+00:00

For me personally, personality is a very big thing, there's always mild attraction at first if they are attractive but if they aren't interesting then they're going to get unattractive real quick. On the flip side, I've met people, including my current boyfriend, who I wasn't at all really attracted to, it was only after hanging out, and conversations, that I was finally like wow, you're attractive. Tbh I wasn't attracted to my boyfriend at first, but now 6ish months later, he's the most handsome man I've ever met.

Eatadickk · 2019-12-26T14:51:11+00:00

I have always found personality to be the biggest deciding factor for the people im attracted too. Over the course of time appearances fade, we all end up old and wrinkly....but how much I can laugh with someone never does.

Bcurious2020 · 2019-12-26T15:17:48+00:00

It is but also remember that not every hot girl is selffish or dumb. I know a few that didnt becom hot till after high school and they are winderful to hang around with

EarthWarping · 2019-12-26T15:25:47+00:00

Quite a bit

scarletts_skin · 2019-12-26T15:36:26+00:00

A great personality definitely makes a person hotter. I can find someone cute, or okay or whatever, but get to know them and fall in love with their personality, and they become infinitely more sexy to me. That’s actually what happened with my last relationship. Alternately, a hot person with a crap personality is a major turn off. Hotness is great but it only goes so far...at the end of the day, looks fade. You need someone who you love for who they are — that’s the only way a relationship will last.

LeFlyingMonke · 2019-12-26T16:22:19+00:00

Drastically. My last long term girlfriend was no slouch in the looks department but for a couple years there I truly saw her as the most beautiful woman on the planet.

ahhboul · 2019-12-26T18:14:26+00:00

Personality increases my attraction through the roof! A good personality is why I literally dated my last 2 exes for years. It trumps physical attraction because I want to have fun with whoever I am with. Life is so rough sometimes and I really need someone I can laugh and feel like I’m in another world with. So yeah personality trumps looks and gives people hundreds of points in my book.

plasmatic9 · 2019-12-26T20:49:33+00:00

Personality keeps you there as you get use to the attractiveness.

manonpoint_com · 2019-12-26T22:47:31+00:00

Definitely a big boost for me.

401kisfun · 2019-12-27T07:21:46+00:00

Has anyone here seen BOTH? Because i feel like hot gets lumped with bratty, selfish, and while rare, I’ve seen both in a woman.

hahahaha9211 · 2019-12-27T12:26:16+00:00

Personality doesn’t do anything with attractiveness unless you’re already attractive then it clicks that you’re hot and a decent person if you’re ugly and posses no physical attractiveness then you’ll just be seen as “normal” and that’s it. It won’t do anything for your attractiveness though this only applies to men.....

KrAzyDrummer · 2019-12-26T04:01:32+00:00

100000000%. As a dude you can be a hard 5, but if your personality is kick ass and you have a nice smile and pretty eyes (mandatory for me) then it brings you to a 7-8-9-10. Personality over everything.

BallinPoint · 2019-12-26T11:55:33+00:00

My coworker is insanely cute. She lights up for the smallest things like a child on christmas. It rubs off on everyone, and everyone is insanely interested in her because of how friendly, caring and bubbly she is. It's definitely incredibly attractive. At least for the first few weeks. But once you get to know her from all sides, it loses its magic you will know what to expect and she'll become just another person. But nonetheless I almost got oneitis and my penis was nonstop erect the first week she worked with me, I've never met someone so girly.

tiltmaxx · 2019-12-26T09:34:04+00:00

It’s everything, and liking to read is a telltale

tooeasilybored · 2019-12-26T13:29:41+00:00

It is common and should be more common but too many people fall for a pretty girl instead of the right one.

I dated a perfect 10 in college for 3 years, girl got honks walking down the street in heels and professional attire for an interview. Three years in and Im literally closing my eyes and picturing someone else when I’m inside her.

Looks fade quick, but personalities only get more intense as time goes on.

Creevy · 2019-12-26T08:23:25+00:00

Honestly, it's a bell curve for me. If she's really attractive or really unattractive, her good personality isn't doing much to improve her (but a bad one can definitely lower her). But it does wonders for girls in the 5-7 range. I guess that wouldn't technically be a true bell curve, but you know what I mean.

fabmarques21 · 2019-12-26T10:43:35+00:00

a LOT.

i had a girlfriend some years ago that i didn't found nothing too much, she was cute but nothing more.

when i got to know her her beauty increased a LOT

presobg · 2019-12-26T09:58:56+00:00

Exactly 0%. If she is curved and blond then fuck personalities.

Title	How much does a good personality increase attractiveness for you?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	364
Comments	144
Date	December 26, 2019 3:05 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/efpwao/how_much_does_a_good_personality_increase/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-much-does-a-good-personality-increase.1486941 https://theredarchive.com/post/1486941

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