how to be good in bed

creativeoutlaw44 · 2022-01-15T20:03:52+00:00

Listen to this podcast:

https://www.amazon.com/Step-Take-Orgasmic-Bliss-nsfw/dp/B08KKBSN7T

1) Make her feel safe

2) Make her feel beautiful

3) Warm her up

4) Back off if things get too intense

5) Use things other than your cock to stimulate her body/mind

Affirmations, simple dirty talk, smiles, eye contact and a low voice go a long way.

MmMmMMmathieus · 2022-01-15T18:35:00+00:00

Literally start running more

IceLessTrash2 · 2022-01-15T22:26:50+00:00

Reading through the comments I don't find any bad advice. Though I would like to take stress off you.

To start most sexual relationships start off mostly in two way. You and your partner will either get lost in the moment and be at full penetration before you have time for anything more. Or if you are unsure it will start with light petting and finger and hand play and maybe very little oral. Then straight to the big show. This does not mean you are bad in bed or that she is. It is the first round and the fun is just beginning. NOTE- lovers are not going to open up about every kink they like, it takes time to figure out limits.

All women are different. Some postions may hurt some women due to size, angle, or lack of flexibility. One woman may love pressure and very light nibbles on the hood or lips (never forget the lips). Or they may find it painful or akward. Just be basic and build to what she likes.

One thread on here stated taking you own pleasure is the better way to start. It is not wrong and is what is going to be what most likely happens the first time. You wont know that a quarter thrust in with a upward angle rubs her in all the right ways. So it will be full in and out and akward pushup postion worrying if you are breathing to hard or laying on her to hard or doggie with the desire to smack her ass and not sure or to grab her hair or reach under and grab her breasts..... the list can go on.

She will let you know if something hurts by pulling away or pushing gently or telling you. Be respectful and don't expect more that just normal sex.

P.S. do not try to do anal unless she brings it up. She had not done the prep work and is not going to be ready for it.

MotiMorphosys · 2022-01-15T16:43:45+00:00

TL;DR ironically, focusing on your needs is going to get you further than focusing on hers.

I personally HATED "sex god method" (book) because it frames sex as the man trying to be the best he can be so that the woman has an amazing expirence. This puts the woman on the pedistal and kills her attraction. She will sense you trying to be good enough for her.

Thing is, women have the same mentality and want your expirence to be amazing. Sexually confident men think about their pleasure at least as much (often more) than their partners.

Things I have found:

Nothing beats expirence. Lower your standards sometimes when it will get you expirence with a new person because:
Everyone is different. Some people you will have an amazing connection with. Others you won't.
Find a balance you're comfortable with between trying to please her and making her please you. Sex is usually NOT 50/50. Some girls really get off on pleasing their partner, and will spend most of their time working your dick. Others want a more balanced expirence. You won't be able to tell what the girl wants there until it's go time (and sometimes even then you won't know), so stick to what YOU want. I prefer to be pleased most of the time.
Most men don't know how to make a woman squirt. This video explains how. It's not complicated, the first time I tried it, it worked. Ignore his recommendation to use oil, women usually get plenty wet on their own. Also, put a towel down on the bed or move the blanket under her pussy area to avoid soaking your mattress. (NSFW link obviously) https://xhamster.com/videos/instructional-how-to-make-a-woman-squirt-2954291
Find out what YOU like. Find out if SHE is good in bed. It's easy to feel like you're the inexperienced one, but many women who have had multiple partners had no idea what they were doing. Make your focus on working with her to see if you have a good connection. You will know you have a good connection when YOU feel pleased. She should be trying to figure your needs out, and if your only focus is what she might be wanting, you'll both miss everything.
As far as her needs go, simply paying attention to her breathing and moaning will let you know what motions are better. But again in my expirence, when I find a position/motion that I like... And I get going with it... She gets off because she knows I am.

Hopefully some of that helps. It's not complicated, hope I didn't make it seem like it is.

avocado-affogato · 2022-01-15T18:07:37+00:00

IMHO: Enthusiasm, being into your partner and the moment. Taking the time for each other to create a good experience. Nothing has to be perfect, but being so into your partner and wanting to share yourself with them creates the experience.

My favorite thing with my partner is that we laugh and joke so much during intimate time. That we care about putting pillows behind each other, that one another is safe, we always communicate if everything is okay or not, take and give suggestions kindly, and care about each other having a good time.

An orgasm doesn’t make good sex or reflect skill, but obviously their nice to have but aren’t a requirement for good sex. Communication is what really matters and being immersed into the experience. I love how he feels, sounds, looks, and acts during the whole process. I’ve never been emotionally or sexually connected to someone before him, and he was my first in a lot of different aspects.

Good sex isn’t what you see in porn, but to be frank there are things you can learn from certain porn like certain positions or things that are fun/legit to try in bed. I wouldn’t rely on it though. I would explore with that person you love and trust.

Sex creates vulnerability on a multitude of levels for us as human beings. Be vulnerable with yourself and your partner, its okay. Not being in your head too much helps as well. Don’t pressure each other to orgasm or finish, don’t get upset about finishing early, it happens, its not a marathon. But if your partner doesn’t get off and you’re able and willing, offer or act to help them finish with hands/mouth/toys.

Try different positions and find the ones that work for you. Mix it up, be fluid, be fluid in your environment. If you always fuck in the bed, fuck on the floor sometimes, fuck in the closet, or the counter/desk.

Kiss, make noises, be vocal, hold hands, be intimate. I love when my partner holds me close to him or looks me in the eye, says my name, or gets close because he’s into me and the moment were having so my noises/expressions/saying his name turn him on. I love when he touches me everywhere and whispers how much he loves specific parts of my body, and is patient with things I’m new at or inexperienced at.

crownpoly · 2022-01-15T17:50:26+00:00

Enthusiasm. Make your partner feel like their comfort and pleasure is the only thing that matters. A lil back massage afterwards never hurts either.

Darth_Krise · 2022-01-15T15:55:57+00:00

Practice & communication

Neil1398 · 2022-01-15T22:13:40+00:00

In all honesty, over the years I’ve gotten better and more aggressive. I’ll pull the girls hair, slap there ass whisper dirty talk in her ear, rag doll, different locations of my crib, foreplay. Don’t just stick it in, finish.

In all honesty sex to women is all about the experience in my opinion. Like you could make a girl orgasm and cum as many times as you want, but after a while I’m talking months and years they get bored and may even stop putting out. I’m not saying she won’t want to fuck you but you’re being too predictable which bores them.

So in my opinion you should work on being more spontaneous+dominant. Check out Stirling Cooper on YouTube, I just found him and he has some pretty good tips.

I’m not the best in bed (can’t last super long) but most girls I sleep with give me some good ratings. “Oh you know what you’re doing”, “that was better than most experiences I’ve had”, some don’t say anything but squirt all over my sheets lol.

However what I realize is that over time I lose that vibe, if it’s the same girl over and over which leads to them getting bored.

So bottom line, be spontaneous and dominant. Whisper in her ear while you’re hitting her from behind, look at her in her eyes, grab her hair, scratch her back with you’re nails(not hard). Show her that you own her. (Might get downvoted for saying that last bit but tbh in the bedroom is where men get to really be men if you catch my drift so take advantage of that)

Most girls like it like that whether they wanna admit it or not, but don’t treat them like total sluts, like dirty talk is not to shame her, for instance I made a girl cry one time cuz I was saying really bad stuff and making her look in the mirror at herself lol. Don’t do shit like that. Instead of saying “take it you dirty slut”, frame it in a way that you’re congratulating her for pleasing you while being derogatory.

“You’re such a good girl, you’re only job is to please me you got that”

“Yes daddy” or whatever the fuck you wanna be called lol

Be engaged, be sexual, be dominant, be spontaneous

newlife909 · 2022-01-15T19:39:48+00:00

Just being in the moment tbh. It's not an act, it's an experience, be passionate. If you're in your head then you'll be awkward and just going through the motions. Enjoy their body, touch them and kiss them wherever you want, let go and let out the moans you need to let out. Switch positions to keep it interesting

Except for foreplay which definitely takes practice to know what either sex likes down there, sex itself is about being passionate

Fate-in-haze · 2022-01-15T20:44:21+00:00

Revolutionary sex by Alex Allman, read that eBook.

rich_god · 2022-01-15T21:07:40+00:00

Breath, feel, be present, be authentic. Communicate whatever is in your mind so you can be in your body. If you have a doubt, don't be afraid to speak, or ask. Each body is different so ask how to give her pleasure if you're not sure, you don't have to know how her body works.

Remember that it is supposed to be an enjoyable experience, not a test. Don't do anything you don't like doing, take your time, it's ok to be slow, it's even ok to not have sex and simply enjoy caress and cuddles. There is nothing mandatory in sex, if you're relaxed and have fun, then it's all good :)

Thatpillinibiza · 2022-01-15T17:33:42+00:00

Tease the pussy, and learn to delay your orgasm the longer you go the better.

LanaTownsend · 2022-01-15T23:38:32+00:00

One person's "great in bed" is another person's "terrible in bed". There is no ONE way to be good in bed but a few tips are go slower - take your time with foreplay: women require more time to get turned-on & "buttered up" than men. Too many men think that her giving him head and him rubbing her clit for 2 seconds is enough for her to be warmed up.

Also, if she feels comfortable and safe with you, she'll probably perform better compared to with a guy who's only out to pump & dump. Women can usually sense when you're truly into them rather than just trying to bust a nut and add a notch to your bedpost. This is why having sex with people you're not really into is often a waste of time and will result in mediocre sex at best.

Work on improving your hand and mouth game. There is more to being good in bed than only PIV. Improving your hand & mouth game can be beneficial if you're a quick finisher. Most women will not mind a minute man if you take the time to still please her. However, finishing fast and just rolling over is a problem.

garlopf · 2022-01-15T16:14:10+00:00

Plenty of foreplay. 2. No matter what happens, take care of your partner's needs first or at the same time as your own. 3. Be patient and try different variations. But when something works well, don't change it. 4.Aftercare/cuddle etc is important too.

hunchback1 · 2022-01-15T20:29:35+00:00

Practice

touchedns · 2022-01-16T03:43:04+00:00

Best cunninglingus i ever had told me he traced the alphabet around the clit and labia.

THAT_LMAO_GUY · 2022-01-15T23:06:09+00:00

For men having sex with women:

Learn Sex God Method: Dominance, Immersion, Variation, Emotion

Different women prefer different parts of that. You gradually test the waters on each of them and see how they respond. With experience you learn patterns and combinations that work in different settings with different women.

e.g. dirty talk while telling her to look you in the eye and not look away, while having sex slowly and deeply. Thats dominance and immersion - and likely variation for her as no many men do that. I was always amazed in my early 20s how many women had never really had much very slow sex ever. Some didnt like it but it was always something to try.

Thats all the mental side of sex. You also want the physical which is knowing how to stimulate clitoris, G spot, A spot, P spot.

But a lot of sex for women is really the build up and anticipation.

TigerIIiIy · 2022-01-15T21:29:24+00:00

If at first you don’t succeed try try again!

DakiAge · 2022-01-15T21:33:09+00:00

Keep fucking :)

eatout2helpout · 2022-01-15T21:51:23+00:00

start listening to her as you slowly explore her body

froze_gold · 2022-01-15T21:53:34+00:00

Enthusiasm and making their pleasure your own. Suck, bite, hump hump hump. have a feast with it and lose yourself to a primitive desire.

Mog_Melm · 2022-01-15T22:09:19+00:00

Honestly, the TL;DR is "get good at oral". Makes up for most things. That's a big of an over-generalization, but that honestly will guarantee you are not horrible in bed. That's not the only tip, but it's an important one!

falseaccount94 · 2022-01-15T23:22:48+00:00

If you really like that person it will come naturally. If you have high expectations and want to rush things it will end quickly and badly.

TheBookOfSeil · 2022-01-16T03:16:46+00:00

Hard to really put it into words because everyone has their own experiences and will only understand things from their own perspective.

If you want to be good in bed, make sure that everything you're doing is coming from a place of love, as in you want them to feel good and comfortable and communicate your feelings for them through your actions. Sex without feelings can be tricky because those feelings aren't there to guide you.

Gfyvess · 2022-01-16T03:21:08+00:00

take your time with warming them up and don’t rush it, just enjoy it man. remember do what you feel like doing. put a pillow over her face if she’s screaming too loud or for breath play, spank her ass as hard as you can mid doggy, tell her what a good lil slut, whore, toy, pet, good girl…you get my point. also make sure to tell her when to cum (count it down for her 5,4,3,2,1)…let her know she’s not allowed to cum unless given permission….I can go on but Im too drunk

lowyellyow · 2022-01-15T20:23:56+00:00

COMMUNICATION!!!! EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. Have had one lady tell me to pound her to smithereens and I've had other women tell me to go slow. Some people need oral first and last or whatever. Learn who you are fucking on.

tractorinballs · 2022-01-15T17:06:07+00:00

Suck that pussy or dick enthusiastically.

AndreKnows · 2022-01-15T19:27:16+00:00

For your future partner I assume?

aidsjohnson · 2022-01-15T22:20:04+00:00

If you're a woman: you should know how to suck dick properly. Get as much of it down as possible. Don't just suck the head, the whole dick needs attention. You also need to know how to be filthy and talk dirty.

If you're a dude: look up Patrice O'Neal's material on "finger popping technique." This was a real game changer for me.

But this is just me generalizing. It's best to talk to your partner about whatever they want!

ld20r · 2022-01-15T22:08:38+00:00

Read sex ed books/pdfs and watch instructional videos. The internet is full of free sex documentaries and guides.

I recommend watching all of the Lovers Guide series. You’ll find it on Xvideos.

Sqerry · 2022-01-15T23:03:24+00:00

Ib00;

HYPERSQUIRT · 2022-01-17T06:01:26+00:00

Also, this is probably a given, but intense kissing, and having the girl wrap her legs (freshly shaven, lol) around you will usually get me all pussy whipped and what not afterwards…

UriTheGod45 · 2022-01-16T02:48:51+00:00

Use average chicks as target practice

mabden · 2022-01-15T16:00:02+00:00

The sex god method

True_Music48 · 2022-01-15T22:14:45+00:00

Fuck her on top and then when you’re done she’ll bend over and you finish fucking her. Shoot your load after you pull out for victory. There’s thing I called hug sex. I created it. It’s when you’re on top and you have your arms wrapped around her while you fuck her and your chest is against her boobs. The main one is that I also created. It’s called very rough sex. It’s when your go real hard. You fuck her hard! Then her boobs are bouncing and you look her in the eyes and she looks at your like a good little bitch. Oh it’s so much fun! There’s the best advice you’ll ever get

originalgainster · 2022-01-15T20:51:15+00:00

why is this in r/seduction?

Soupblime · 2022-01-15T21:36:06+00:00

Stop n go

qwertyqwqwqw · 2022-01-15T21:36:46+00:00

Learn to listen. And ask them what they like

2022-01-15T22:28:17+00:00

As a man giving the woman a good time is like 90% of the work and than delivering beyond her anticipated expectations. She’s coming back for more for sure.

Disturbed_Aidan · 2022-01-15T23:37:02+00:00

Go to sleep

changthaiman · 2022-01-16T01:16:48+00:00

My problem is making her cum too much and too fast that she’s exhausted before it’s even my turn. I’m not even that good or anything. Just angle it right, steady and consistent pumps, and that’s it. Make sure to kiss her neck, shoulder blade, ear.

B3asy · 2022-01-16T01:53:17+00:00

Communication. Ask her what she likes and do that

brazance · 2022-01-16T03:14:44+00:00

Good communication and a little danger and making it feel safe

sjeddowgaai · 2022-01-16T12:58:29+00:00

Hello,

There is actually not so much that you need other than to be yourself, to be relaxt, be open, and communicate with each other.

When I was a bit younger I was afraid to communicate because I was scared I would turn her off or something, but actually there are really nice ways to communicate without spoiling the mood. Humor is one thing.

Tease eachother before you are actually in bed (or wherever you wanna do it) and use the teases to find out what he likes, or to give an indication what you like. Also teasing you can do all the time. While cooking, while doing groceries together, while walking the dog or while just chilling on the couch. And it is really fun.

And whenever the time comes where both of you are being busy with eachother and something clumsy happens. ( like you turn but your feet is somehow tangled stuck in the blanket and you can’t get out without using force, not sensual but it happened to all of us).

No worries, don’t be embarrassed but laugh with eachother and say it is okay. Things happen, no matter how much experience you have with sex, things can always happen because that is just how it is.

Be relaxt, make sure you both feel comfortable and go with the flow. Turn on some nice music, light some candles, spread a nice smell around in the room, only that sets the environment and mood and I am sure he will also appreciate it.

Wear something nice and sexy (optional) and just start slow, touch eachother by following eachother body with your hands, hold eachother, kiss eachother and discover slowly.

Oh and share some chocolate, that can make kissing even more intense. Just whatever you like.

As long as you are open with what you like, and what you don’t like you will do Fine.

I am wishing you both an amazing moment and lots of love between eachother.

GabacciStyles · 2022-01-16T13:52:53+00:00

Step 1) Show her ur not a creep and ur bouta fuck her brains out . Step2) do it .

stanthemilkman88 · 2022-01-16T15:43:55+00:00

Stirling cooper has some good stuff on this topic.

HYPERSQUIRT · 2022-01-17T05:58:39+00:00

Don’t be the girl that only takes her panties and pants or whatever off and leaves say her hoodie or her shirt or whatever she was wearing from the waist up still completely on and then just lays there with her legs open feeble like she’s inebriated and just wants you to fuck her while she just lays there doing nothing, unenthusiastically. You posting this on Reddit means you at least care about the overall sexual experience, so I don’t think that this is what you do, just putting it here so people that might, wondering the same, will.

FarCombination7405 · 2022-01-20T16:31:18+00:00

Never too much too soon. If you like this person then there is no need to throw it all down on night one. Focus on acting right and allowing your personality to shine through versus whether you’re some sex God or not.Brother above waiting for the female to always make the first move. Can I ask you, do you get girls have you been rejected a lot or you just haven’t tried so it’s creating a lot of anxiety?

Title	how to be good in bed
Author	poppiesandsunflowers
Upvotes	252
Comments	85
Date	January 15, 2022 3:52 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/s4n7dp/how_to_be_good_in_bed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-be-good-in-bed.1268989 https://theredarchive.com/post/1268989

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