I thought I had reached "max-level" long ago.

I've been here for 18+ months. 1 month in I had transformed my behaviour around women for the better, lowered AA, didn't fail shit-tests, KINO EYES SMILE. 2-3 months in I had it near perfected, and knew what I should be doing most of the time. My behaviour overall since then isn't too different to how it was at that point. Yet I have made so many mistakes and learnt from them - the subtleties of what I do in each situation have adapted. I know certain things I should not say, and catch certain subtle long-term tests/games that I would have fallen for 16 months ago. BUT my overall behaviour is still the same, and when something goes wrong I still feel like that guy from 16 months ago. I'm not though - the number of mistakes I've learnt not to make has increased from 10 to about 2000.

We can never be perfect at this.

Please dont just skim that last line! For 18 months I've thought we could reach that plateu where all situations have an answer. If you see somebody reach perfection in the field then all it means is that they have reached a mastery in that niche environment. They are like a bee who found a massive flower and is making tonnes of sweet honey from it. Good on them. It is a skill to be able to have a high success rate of picking up bitchy but hot girls in up-town bars. It is also impressive to hit on intelligent women and make them feel smarter. But don't rely on any one thing all the time. The bee may one day get bored of that flower, or have the flower taken away from it, and need to move on. When that time comes it may have no idea where to go. There are risks to sticking to one niche.

Many of you may be here for self-improvement more than for getting sex. I know I was/am. Make sure you challenge yourself with new environments, and don't let it get stale. Get phone numbers in places you normally wouldn't. Date weird girls / dangerous / bitchy girls just for the hell of it, because you want to learn from them, and tell them that they are providing value for you in that way (they will appreciate and respect you for it). Dating girls you know you do not wish to marry (or even have a medium term relationship) is one of the best things you can do for your social intelligence and learning, and yet so few men bother ("nice guys" are the worst for this).

If you are young (hell, even if you are old) then you need to be learning! To maximise the amount you learn put yourself in radically different enviroments (read "The Lean Startup" - its about entreprenuers who caused a paradigm shift in new product development by deliberately putting themselves in environments/tests where they expected to fail. Most of the time they did fail, but the few times they got small successes they learnt far more than they would have if they did something with an 80% chance of succeeding). Do stupid things and learn from the 10% of the time it gets you laid. Apocalypse openers are just the beginning.

A warning: As I've "improved" I have become less interested in women as a whole. A one night stand with an 'HB9' was something I would dream about from age 12 until a year ago. I no longer get much from it (except if I have not had sex in multiple weeks, and then it fills a physical need). Its a weakness that hurts to admit: I often get more from peers seeing / knowing of the one night stand and 'respecting' it than I do from the actual night (I still try to keep it private/secret though). Lack of sleep prevents a day of work and impacts on long-term goals. Short term relationships feel like a toxic energy sap, taking me away from more fruitful ambitions. I like the slight learning experience of a one-night stand though - the differences girls have in bed can be stark. Make sure you push learning boundaries and be rough with them - see how rough you can go before they make you stop. Learn!

The phrase "Not giving a fuck" gets thrown around a lot here. Often somebody would say they stopped caring and approached a girl. Thats great, but you are only at the first step! Maximise your learning and generate some anecdotes. Make up a fake personality for the night. Dance on stage at a gig and drag others up with you. A night out is a total waste of time if you didn't do something that would make you remember it in the months to come. If you are used to pulling girls then dont just do that. Whats the point? Aim for that threesome you want to brag about. Even if you don't then the night becomes "that night I did all those stupid things for a threesome!".

On a night out and already confident / good at this stuff? Getting slapped doesn't hurt. The last few one night stands I've had slapped me before sleeping with me. Its a non verbal shittest used only by the slightly more bitchy HB8+s (they also have higher probability of DTF). If you pass it then you break many future barriers and show a lot of confidence and dominance, and things are on easy street. Don't be hurtful or a dick to get slapped though, and understand that some girls do get upset. If she is upset you did it wrong, apologise, give her space, leave. If she is a little angry then you are likely doing it right.

Another warning: Caring less about what others think (about you) has its costs as well as its benefits. Suddenly I have to put mental effort into making sure some friends are not offended (e.g. I non-flirtingly tell their girlfriend she looks pretty today), or I have to put mental effort to make sure I don't ignore them when they are upset. I know that I am providing to them more than they will be able to give back to me, as I do not need them to resolve my issues. Again, the limited energy I have in a day is expended on things that I know will not ever shell out rewards of equal weight. I have discovered why the alpha male stereotype is often depicted as lonely - though sometimes it is a character flaw and he hates himself or cant express some things, he may also just have given up on expending the time and energy of helping everyone else without expecting anything in return. But continuing to help out those that rely on you is what makes you a better person, and isn't that why you searched for and found seddit in the first place?

I have lots more to say, and will if this post gets attention. edit: Lots of good stuff and even some debate in the comments right now.

With Love, Fred.