[Off topic] Keeping a girlfriend once I've got one

curunir · 2013-11-30T20:23:32+00:00

Be honest. Stay alpha. Pay attention.

That's pretty much it.

EDIT: And keep it interesting by always trying new things.

LyingPervert · 2013-11-30T21:06:56+00:00

You should only be with a girl cause you love who you are when you're with her

joshsway · 2013-11-30T18:52:45+00:00

Definitely tone down the PUA stuff, at least the "outer game"/routines etc. But still be exciting, interesting, sexual, etc as best you can. One thing you do not want to do is fall into a trap of behaving in a way you cannot sustain long term (as /u/import_social-wit implied).

RoquefortCheese · 2013-11-30T17:46:34+00:00

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letgravitydecide · 2013-11-30T19:38:21+00:00

Never stop building attraction. The frame you set when you met her is the frame you have to maintain now that she's your girlfriend. If you relax into your former habits she'll wonder why you've changed. You'll get into "not who I thought you were" territory soon after that, and she'll be gone. EDIT: Just read this: http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1epgwd/above_the_game_part_8_relationships/

Flamewall26 · 2013-11-30T22:28:19+00:00

Techniques don't keep a girlfriend.

karliejai · 2013-11-30T20:28:44+00:00

learn how to actually listen instead of just gaming her all day...

naushadparpia · 2013-11-30T21:18:10+00:00

Read "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman. This is basically post PUA meaning once you got the girl, how do you keep her and be in an excellent relationship.

JoshMcAwesome · 2013-11-30T22:14:04+00:00

it's so simple, there is this wonderful sentense in a german pickup book (translated by me):"you keep you girlfriend, when you are still able to seduce her, years after you met" ... there is no need to stop "gaming" her, she felt in love with the person you are, be monogam if you want to, become a better person together with her and dont take the guy who made her laugh and feel like a real woman away from her. good luck :)

masterrod · 2013-11-30T23:21:02+00:00

Inner game is key in relationships. Remember we always rub off on each other in relationships. So the more PUA stuff you do to her in relationship, the more likely she will do the same to you to get what she wants. So def turn it down. :)

Linkie75 · 2013-11-30T23:34:10+00:00

Like others have said, tone down outer game/PUA stuff. But don't be afraid to flirt a little with other girls once in a while. Just make sure that you can keep your snake in your pants.

Don't forget that you are still the most important person in your life. Keep enjoying your hobbies and don't sacrifice yourself for her, but take care of her when she needs it.

I'd advice you to read both "Models" and "Way of the superior man". They both deal with prioritising yourself, and inner game stuff you can implement to keep a relationship interesting for both of you.

asad16 · 2013-12-01T01:44:00+00:00

Man some of these comments are completely ridiculous. Game isn't a gauge and you just turn the valve off. I'm really worried about people who have this alter ego called "game".

You shouldn't be changing yourself, the techniques you used to attract her were methods to show your true self, you didn't put on a show, nor did you deceive her. You just showed your interesting self better than the other guys.

Now you're in a relationship, I hope the whole game aspect wasn't a facade now you can show your "true self". It's a lifestyle, not a tool

airc4523 · 2013-12-01T02:35:27+00:00

Stop the routines and build rapport and KINO

nwf839 · 2013-12-01T03:35:06+00:00

I'd say taking care of yourself and having a healthy social life outside of your relationship are two things that are often neglected when a guy gets into a relationship.

The only time I got dumped when my gf and I were really good with each other and still in love was when over time I became more and more dependent on her for my happiness. I stopped working out, when I was hanging out with my friends I was counting the minutes until I could hang out with her again, and I lost my professional ambition. Ultimately, my self-esteem suffered and I became slightly depressed. Hanging out with me started to bum her out and it just doomed the relationship.

Everything else is kind of common sense; don't cheat, be honest, and be yourself. I wouldn't worry about keeping up your game. If you get really close with a girl, you will be so comfortable around her that you don't need to think about how you present yourself. If that never happens, it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway.

throwawaysimples · 2013-12-01T05:12:05+00:00

Very interesting replies. I'm going to tone down my PUA shit with her and see how its goes. As in, I genuinely 'love' her but I'm obviously NEVER going to let that how.

I've never 'bagged' a women due to TRP techniques before so this should be a striking insight.

I'll report back

snwborder52 · 2013-12-01T05:16:02+00:00

If you were yourself from the get-go, you wouldn't have this issue. =D.

Read Models by Mark Manson. It will tell you why relationships fail and how to keep them strong.

TL;DR: 1) Always put yourself first, her second, and everyone else after that. Make sure she isn't the only reason you get up in the morning. Have dreams and goals. Don't be needy. 2) Be vulnerable. Let her in and let her know the real you.

JihadDerp · 2013-12-01T00:12:08+00:00

Be yourself.

nestleyquik · 2013-11-30T20:08:58+00:00

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Mr_Zarika · 2013-12-01T02:44:10+00:00

One of the best posts on this topic.

http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tlorg/my_relationship_manifesto_what_to_do_after_you/

Title	[Off topic] Keeping a girlfriend once I've got one
Author	throwawaysimples
Upvotes	96
Comments	54
Date	November 30, 2013 5:33 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1rs66m/off_topic_keeping_a_girlfriend_once_ive_got_one/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/off-topic-keeping-a-girlfriend-once-ive-got-one.1362309 https://theredarchive.com/post/1362309

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