Simple first date do's and dont's?

Queggy · 2016-12-10T17:47:51+00:00

Don't pick her up on first date. Give her the ability to show up and leave as she wants with out getting pressured by you. Unless she doesn't havea way to get to the date a asks you.

re_spirit · 2016-12-10T18:32:45+00:00

One rule of thumb I follow whenever I have dates is ask questions about her, then shut up. Let her do the talking and show her that you have interest in what she has to say, by looking at her eyes. I've seen people talk about themselves too much and the interaction is so one-sided, which causes the girl to lose interest. On the other side, I've seen people ask way too much questions like it's an interview and the girl feels overwhelmed. You want a good interaction with her, don't you? Well, be also ready to contribute to the conversation and talk about yourself, too. The first date should be a fun experience and is a chance to make a connection with her. If there's that connection, a second date is likely to happen or more.

datalies · 2016-12-10T19:57:28+00:00

I definitely feel against the grain in this sub, but I would suggest speaking and acting like you would with a good friend. If that doesn't suit, then you can reassess what sort of friend you want to be and what sort of friend you are looking for in a girl; or, you may identify that she's not the friend you are looking for.

Sorry if that is boring. Other good tips here too, and nothing beats experience. To boil my experience down so far:

Be honest with yourself. Actively understand what you are looking for. This changes over time, and you may not know right now exactly what you are looking for, and experience will solidify this over time.
Be honest with her. This is a no brainer, but in adhering to (1), you'll find that it's often not easy or obvious how to be honest. You have to think and engage with (1), to be honest with her.
Manage the facts. This requires experience. You don't expose your whole life's story right away and she won't either. On a first date, this isn't a factor. On later dates and in relationships, there are facts that drive (1) and (2), and your ability to communicate with your friends within the bounds of those facts is key to being a good friend and maintaining good friendships. This does not mean "lying"; it means understanding what needs to be said, when to say it, and communicating with intention.
Chill. Stay engaged with her and the both of you together, but remember to chill. (1) and (2) are less difficult if you can. If you find you just can't relax, remember (1) and (2) and maybe you can chat about it with her. If she cares, she'll like to help you relax also. If not, maybe you each need to move on.

Anyhow, good luck. 🍀

kalolilo · 2016-12-10T17:54:49+00:00

Do

talk about FORD
be quite playful and a bit serious (once)
come across as authentic( probably most important)
have her to convince you instead of you convincing her
change venues at least twice if you can. Gives her the feeling of knowing you more.
kino
qualify her
kiss her on the date
tease her
have good eye contact
teach her 2 things
remain playful, cheeky when she rejects you and try again later. Women will often reject you 5 times before seeing you as a man.
be careful with negs, ngaf, cocky funny. They are only necessary when the girl sees herself as very high value and she will show you that you need to neg her, be cocky funny when you need to do it
lead strong
be friendly
be cute, don't be afraid to be cute. Women love a man who is confident enough to be cute
be a bit vulnerable
be a bit mysterious
sexualize after around 15 mins, after she has said something funny, so that she "deserved" it. Start small with ambiguity, misinterpretation, escalate

Don't

talk about RAPE
come across as fake
be too serious
assume her to lead
do the opposite of the above listed
try to impress/convince her or try to seem badass
overcompliment her, swoon her all over
be clingy
be pissed when she rejects you

DrWhereDoesItHurt · 2016-12-10T19:22:56+00:00

I would say always be the one that pays on the first date, only the first.

terebravisse1 · 2016-12-10T21:45:40+00:00

Every time I go out with a guy, one thing that I look for is how they treat other people. I always notice how they talk to the waiter/waitress, if they make an effort to be nice to the strangers around us, and stuff like that.

a_terrible_sound · 2016-12-10T23:43:57+00:00

Dont eat the pussy on the first date.

REDx4 · 2016-12-11T00:52:52+00:00

You should go to the mall instead. Trust me.

IntrovertedBadass · 2016-12-10T16:22:15+00:00

Hi there, I have an article on what to do on first dates some hacks to make the first date easier for you. Would you like me to poste the link?

IntrovertedBadass · 2016-12-10T21:13:51+00:00

Ok, so listen, if it’s far from her place and you have a car and she doesn’t, there’s nothing wrong doing this. It shows you’re a gentleman. If she does have a car and/or it’s not too far from her place. I wouldn’t. Reason being is you don’t want to talk about the date too much. You’ll want to avoid coming across as over-confirming. It also depends on how much attracted she is too you. If she’s very attracted than you’ll have more room for error. I’ll leave it up to you to judge it from here on. Anyways enjoy the date :)

BrettEllisDotNet · 2016-12-11T04:30:58+00:00

Coffee is good. Go for a walk around a park or some gardens (if you live inner city). Grab some Uno cards or some playing cards to do an activity while chatting if you find somewhere to sit down. If you both have dogs, take them for a walk. If eating is on the cards, I will generally take her to a "sushi train". Basically, it's a restaurant where sushi comes around on a conveyor belt and you only pay for the plates you eat. She isn't going to be eating a whole stack, so it's a cheap way to pay for her food. I don't mind if I need to pick her up - it depends on the logistics - it might be easier for her just to catch a bus in/drive or whatever. You can always change the place where you're meeting to make things easier.

Focus on getting to know her, then if there is a bit of a spark by all means turn the conversation into a little bit more sexual and see if you can push it towards sleeping with each other.

Overall - Just have FUN!

1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v · 2016-12-11T22:02:02+00:00

Here are some great first date pointers from Corey Wayne:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYYCRDVIt1Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uExGQXtrMzA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtS5GsdZm8E

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lomlKw4VkqA

Here are some tips from Tripp Advice:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjqeaPihAbo&list=PL5tzvMDw1c40igkWx8MMjrLSACkxyHWid

woodyinho1 · 2016-12-11T00:39:13+00:00

Should one offer to pay on first "hang out" or "date?"

(This thread is gold, by the way. Helped me so much!! Thanks OP!!)

Kitt_55 · 2016-12-11T16:47:00+00:00

Hold Strong Eye Contact and Smile
Do not Barter for Attention or Affection
Do not Chase or Force Rapport
Do not Qualify Yourself / Try to Impress / Seek Reactions or Approval
Be Outcome Independent and Non-Reactive
Provide Value (Do not Enter Interview Mode)
Act Honestly / Show Congruence and Consistency
Interact as Man to Woman

The following points are taken from the book Fundamentals of Female Dynamics by Michael Knight, where they are each described in-depth.

pbgswd · 2016-12-10T20:15:20+00:00

if she is going to act like a spoiled bitch, dont continue the date

Title	Simple first date do's and dont's?
Author	Szentinal
Upvotes	179
Comments	94
Date	December 10, 2016 3:45 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5hkodt/simple_first_date_dos_and_donts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/simple-first-date-dos-and-donts.1416840 https://theredarchive.com/post/1416840

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