Stop FAKING confidence, stop lying and stop trying to impress people. Stop trying to 'be alpha' - this doesn't just fail, it actively undoes your real confidence. This is the single biggest mistake there is. The right way is a lot harder, but works.

whiteman90909 · 2018-09-07T20:45:19+00:00

You shouldn't act alpha, you should tell yourself that you are. You are confident. You are smart. People want to be your friend. You know that you're in charge, so you don't have to try to prove to other people you are. They'll notice. You just have to make sure you're (respectfully) acting with your best interests in mind. Make your body language and confidence speak loud.

Davidle3 · 2018-09-07T21:29:55+00:00

I disagree! Fake it until you make it is a true statement. You must impress upon the subconscious mind that in which you wish to be. By faking it as you learn it allows you to incorporate and grow as you build these skills so absoulutely fake it until you make it.

Messisfoot · 2018-09-07T18:04:01+00:00

Anyone who claims to be and uses the phrase 'alpha' needs to be taken out back and shot.

megaghost9 · 2018-09-07T19:00:56+00:00

“You will always feel as afraid as you are now” that is literally the opposite of what the evidence overwhelmingly suggests. This article is bad.

drakenrijder · 2018-09-07T17:24:48+00:00

So lifting is the way?

SpookyKG · 2018-09-07T22:20:03+00:00

Disagree. All confidence is 'fake' and unearned.

Faking it is the first real step.

Effingehh · 2018-09-08T01:38:09+00:00

It’s more stop trying to be this macho idealistic interpretation of what being alpha is. Being “alpha” is mainly just knowing what you want and not being hesitant/indecisive. It is not being able to beat the shit out of people and act like an asshole. It is more just being confident in yourself and knowing yourself and the things you want in life.

digitalhomad · 2018-09-08T04:56:34+00:00

The classic advise, 'just be your self but work harder'.

This advice works well for the people that are attractive, socially intelligent, and emotionally stable.

If you are happy, and comfortable, and zero anxiety at a house party full of people you never met before, than ya, this works for you.

Masta_Rahl · 2018-09-08T07:20:40+00:00

I think what the OP is suggesting is that you need to learn to love yourself and be content with yourself or else why would anyone want to deal with you? It's not enough to just fake it because you'll exhaust yourself and find that you don't have any actual substance to fuel the fakeness anymore and so your facade cracks. You should fake it whilst doing something to uplift your self-image and self worth because then you'll have something real that you can hold onto when being fake is no longer enough - which should be the end goal in any way. People, especially woman will break you once they figure out how fake you are but will embrace you once they find the realness in you.

kennotheking · 2018-09-07T19:32:31+00:00

That’s a good article. I like how you define confidence and think you made some good points.

I think it reinforces the prescription of just going out and putting yourself in situations that make you uncomfortable.

I relate to what you say from my own experience where I still feel anxious before an approach but still act despite of it.

ThaBromar · 2018-09-07T23:00:53+00:00

Some of us are just trynna get laid, lol

sylvesterthecat11 · 2018-09-08T01:18:43+00:00

Being authentic is sexy as hell.

ToxicRocketry · 2018-09-08T07:00:24+00:00

Faking it does work but the trick is to fake being the best version of you.

If your ideal self is a master of parkour, pioneer of quantum mechanics and champion of jazz who dresses in stylish overcoats and top hats from the beginning of the 20th century, you’ll find it much easier to fake it because these are things that you already like and are working towards achieving.

cranky-alpha · 2018-09-08T09:47:01+00:00

I wholeheartedly disagree. I was "myself" all the years in school and was cast out by every friend's group I could've made. I now think of all of my history as experience I could've had but didn't because I was a wuss. Now in college I'm faking literally everything about me(not being an asshole tho) and I have made friends, am much more happy than I thought I could be also it feels good.

urgentc · 2018-09-08T09:53:06+00:00

Real Talk:

Lifting, looks and pick up is nothing but a support structure for the ego (I am almost 2 meters and lift for about 10 years). Bigger muscles and more women feed the ego. Now your "confidence" depends on that. Take those away and your self esteem cracks up like an old biscuite.

Real confidence has to come from within, so nobody can take it away. Once you got core confidence you can approach every woman you want any time. How do I you get that?

Confidence is just a skill. If you want to learn about a topic - read! Nobody learns playing the piano by just hitting random keys. I suggest you Feeling Good by David Burns to build a fundament. Takes away your negative thinking patterns and teaches you how to change them with new ones.

Changed my life and so will yours

Life_Uncivilized · 2018-09-07T20:18:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

MattsFace · 2018-09-08T00:46:29+00:00

No, I don’t want to lift weights and be some one I’m not. I’m going to be my self even if I’m nervous. I think a women would be lucky to be pampered by me. I don’t want to be someone I’m not... even if it means being single for a while.

Save your money and find a real women that likes you for you.. you guys may think different but being 33 and after being with so many women. I would just love some one to play games with me some time, watch baseball and I’ll return the favor.

God I sound like I’m ready to have kids

IronKyle · 2018-09-08T00:02:40+00:00

Models

Kadabrium · 2018-09-07T23:20:42+00:00

How do people learn to write like this?

duehvdke · 2018-09-08T04:11:43+00:00

Dude just get some time on the water, lift, and read. I'm halfway through the subtle art of not giving a fuck by mark Manson and I've been talking to a few new girls I met in college. I just know that regret hurts a lot more than rejection and that the worst thing that could happen is a lil awkwardness and moving on. One girl even point-blank asked me where my confidence came from, and my dumbass switched out of game mode and gave her straight up answers on how to be a better person because I was so impressed with myself. This is coming from a former fat nerd kid turned confident sexy man. There's hope. It won't be easy, but there's hope.

ToxicRocketry · 2018-09-08T06:06:14+00:00

Faking it does work but the trick is to fake being the best version of you.

If your ideal self is a master of parkour, pioneer of quantum mechanics and champion of jazz who dresses in stylish overcoats and top hats from the beginning of the 20th century, you’ll find it much easier to fake it because these are things that you already like and are working towards achieving.

ThisIsABeginning · 2018-09-08T02:51:14+00:00

This article is brilliant. Thank you

usherzx · 2018-09-08T08:30:46+00:00

is this an advertisement? submitted by Life Uncivilized.. submission is a link to... LifeUncivilized.com.. if I was a mod I'd delete this submission, and ban you for spamming the subreddit with horse shit.

lnternetLiftingCoach · 2018-09-08T10:26:24+00:00

Behaviour influences cognition. Even forcing a smile on your face can result in lower stress and more positive feelings. By acting confident, your brain is forced to create a congruence between your cognition and behaviour, which results in higher genuine, "cognitive" confidence. As Goebbels once said, "If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it." You just have to keep repeating this lie (your "fake" confidence) enough for your brain to actually adapt to the behaviour manifested. There is a reason why some actors experience an identity crisis from the roles they play.

LimitedContributor · 2018-09-07T22:44:08+00:00

My mom and sister are always like, dress in fly clothing and I'm like, nah. I don't have money like that. They want the girl to expect highly of me, making the shit more difficult. Haha

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