Tips for first date with a stripper?

Cespur · 2011-09-18T15:48:49+00:00

Not trying to be a dick or anything, but are you sure she isn't an escort?

Warlizard · 2011-09-18T15:58:40+00:00

Stop looking at this like there's an end goal. Take her someplace that's fun for YOU. Have a good time, treat her like she's a fun girl whose company you enjoy. Don't go anyplace expensive. You're setting the tone of the relationship NOW. If you try to impress her with money, then you're a sugar daddy. Take her someplace interesting. Don't know where you live, but don't be normal. Be different.

Then, when she realizes you're out with her because you actually like her, she's going to fuck the ever loving shit out of you and you won't have built your relationship on a financial foundation.

This has been my experience. Good luck.

basshead · 2011-09-18T16:57:22+00:00

I am a DJ/MC at a strip club and I do not suggest doing anything past a first date. These women, however attractive they may be, typically have no life plan other than stripping for money or are felons who cannot obtain a real job. They are hustlers, all of them. They're good at what they do and they make a living off of it.

sayn · 2011-09-18T17:00:54+00:00

Whatever you do, don't take her to a strip club.

Havok310 · 2011-09-18T23:22:22+00:00

Let me start. I went on a date with an amazing stripper last fall.

First, treat her like a woman, not a piece of meat, and don't bring up the fact that she dances for a living. If her profession comes up, refer to it as "dancing", not stripping. Similarly, always refer to her as a "dancer", not a stripper.

Second, if you play it right, you will have the most amazing sex of your life...but only if you play it right. I'm going to reiterate, treat her like a woman, not a stripper or a pay-for-play lady of the night. Ask her what she's interested in, talk about life and friends, etc. The thing you need to understand, is that she is going to have phenomenal life stories and incredible experiences. Respect her for that.

Third, be prepared for her to be a bit closed off, and possibly cold at times. Even if she asked you out, she knows that you know what she does. She knows how she is viewed.

Fourth, if you figure out she is all about the money, then turn the tables. Be a gentleman and turn up your charm. For one night be the gentleman from pretty woman. Take her out, buy her a sick dinner and still treat her like a woman...then have the best sex of your life. Keep it up and you're in for a three-way soon. But...only if she is in it for the money. If she is legit, you may not get a kiss for a while because she wants you to respect her.

SamC1803 · 2011-09-18T16:52:25+00:00

A couple other things for context:

I was with a friend at the club and we mostly ignored the girls for about 80% of the time we were there. We were talking business stuff. We didn't sit by the stage and shove dollar bills into garters. (We were definitely different from all the other guys there.)

One girl did try to put her hooks in (and she was very hot), but I wasn't really that interested and could tell she was play-acting. It's funny how stripper game is so similar: lots of kino, pretending to be interested in me etc.

I had chatted for a while about business ideas with the one who asked me, but she never tried to sell me a dance. I didn't tip her when she was on the dance floor either. I did NOT talk to her about her job as a dancer, focusing instead on her "real" life.

She may be playing me for money, but if so she's very cheap. I only bought one dance and no drinks. I've spent way more than that on strippers that I had no expectation of seeing again. That's why I was surprised when she brought it up.

Thanks everyone for your feedback. Based on what everyone's said, I'll be careful not to get played and just focus on having a good time. Lately I've been doing a ton of dating -- I had THREE dates with different women yesterday, and have three more scheduled before I see this girl -- so no risk of one-itis. More like an experiment.

slackwaresupport · 2011-09-18T15:48:17+00:00

using you..

dlrfsu · 2011-09-18T16:06:39+00:00

Bring plenty of dollar bills.

NSFyou · 2011-09-18T16:10:05+00:00

My Opinion: There are two ways. She wants a date, because she is a human being or she wants someone who pays her life.
Start it as a usual date and watch how she expects you to pay the bills etc. As soon as you realize, shes playing you, get the hell outta there, if shes continuing being nice, keep on it, could lead to anything good.
Oh, and in my opinion, there is a strict limit a man should pay for a date. If its getting expensive, it's not real.
have Fun!

2011-09-18T17:46:25+00:00

bring coke

warpcowboy · 2011-09-18T23:12:51+00:00

i took my friend to his first strip club last sunday after ingesting a bunch of mdma. i was doing my thing and lost track of him. 6 hours later, he starts pulling me out of the club. looked miserable, defeated, and i think i spotted a tear.

apparently, he ended up chatting with a stripper the entire 6 hours. 2% lap dance, 98% juuust chattin'. totally thought he was connecting with this girl. and he somehow managed to spend $300 because he was making her miss stage time.

so, at the end, he pulls out his phone and goes "will i ever see you again?" ready to exchange contact details. with the precision of a routine she repeats multiple times per evening, she said "hopefully..." and splits.

strippers make their living by picking you up. thinking you're picking up a stripper is like thinking you got the job selling Cutco knives because you "aced" the interview.

WolfInTheField · 2011-09-19T00:30:13+00:00

Other than that- dudes, are you jealous or what? Let the man have some fun!

Do it like you'd always do it- get to know her! see whether you actually connect as people! after that you'll be well aware whether she's playing you, and until then for fucks sake assume the benefit of the doubt. It's not like you wouldn't notice if she were squeezing you for money.

bigbozz · 2011-09-18T17:34:16+00:00

Whatever you do, be sure to bring lots of singles...

gooooooons · 2011-09-18T19:54:05+00:00

"Tips on how to bring our her inner whore without treating her like one would be appreciated."

You just did, so you know.

mPhoenix · 2011-09-18T20:02:49+00:00

I would honestly suggest just treating it like any other date. Leave the strip club at the strip club and go from there. Demonstrate that you're a higher value guy, who treats women well and gives them fun and pleasure once they've demonstrated they're worthy of your company, and then just go through the steps of push/pull, building comfort, escalation, etc.

Be aware of the fact that she could just be trying to play you, like others suggest, but until she demonstrates that's what she's after, just assume genuine attraction and go with it. As long as you have established limits within your mental frame of where the lines are (in terms of not paying her for sex, being her sugar daddy, etc) that you hold firm to should those boundaries come up, you'll be fine.

2011-09-18T22:14:27+00:00

Let us know how it goes, for all the reasons already mentioned. :)

itemforty · 2011-09-19T02:33:18+00:00

Be yourself and downvote me.

2011-09-19T12:03:07+00:00

I once had a FWB relationship with a stripper, I was poor like hell and she totally pimped me, it was great and awesome sex too.

justthrowmeout · 2011-09-18T17:32:20+00:00

She's prob looking for a sugar daddy.

porphyry3 · 2011-09-18T15:55:03+00:00

lets say this is legit....ask yourself what youd do on a first date with an accountant or a housekeeper. shes just a girl who wants to get to know you more.

EthicalReasoning · 2011-09-18T16:32:18+00:00

you are getting played, wake up.

CornFedHonky · 2011-09-18T16:30:08+00:00

Bang her in a cheap motel, and don't act surprised when she wants to get paid.

TenaciousMike · 2011-09-18T17:21:03+00:00

I've dated a stripper before. She's desperate for attention more than anything. The fact that you're older will probably play in to some daddy issues. Just play it cool and you'll be banging her in no time.

2011-09-19T03:45:38+00:00

if you want to land in jail, have domestic abuse and drug problems, along with stray children, go on this date.

2011-09-18T20:05:14+00:00

...I'll fetch a rug, sir.

evil_zombie_monkey · 2011-09-18T20:23:23+00:00

It's a trap! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dddAi8FF3F4

AboveThee · 2011-09-18T23:35:48+00:00

WolfInTheField · 2011-09-19T00:21:11+00:00

We should get a serious post on strippergame up on here, man. That stuff would be awesome to read.

2011-09-19T08:07:27+00:00

You dumb as a rock or what?

boobedoo · 2011-09-21T20:23:04+00:00

You might be able to find out some background information about here here: Stripper info

Havok310 · 2011-09-22T08:26:25+00:00

Some tips speaking from a bit of experience

Don't get stuck in the "Customer zone" (think friend-zone). If she sees you as a regular, and as a cash cow, the urge to make a living trumps budding interest. She also likely associates "customers" with "creepshows", so you don't want that... and while we're on the subject, be aware that she might not open up right away because there's a ton of creepshows and alot of safety in keeping "real life" (friends, family, real name, facebook, etc.) separate from "work life"
Forget what she does for a living if you actually are interested in the girl. If you just want to fuck, that's one thing... but if you want to have normal interactions with her, forget what she does (at least at first) unless she brings it up - if she's out with you for the right reasons (aka not trying to get your money) then it's because she's interested in being herself with you, not the persona. You don't want to give the impression that being topless defines her, as she'll likely think you are just assuming she's a slut and you're getting laid.
All the people insisting she's only after your money are ignorant. Sure there's a decent chance of that, but it's not so cut and dry. I have friends who are strippers who are using it to finance their own business, or double/triple majoring in university and doing it to pay the bills. Money is nice, but not all of these girls are so greedy that they aren't also capable of being genuinely interested and nice people.

You need to be careful that those naysayers are not right... but if you're not spending money on her in the club, she could probably do better with her time than milking you for free dinners and what not, so hopefully it's genuine.

pxbrgh · 2011-09-18T20:10:15+00:00

Bring cocaine.

emethias · 2011-09-18T20:16:20+00:00

Double wrap.

Tyrone_Gomez · 2011-09-18T18:08:22+00:00

First of all, you need to decide what you want/what are your goals. The range of extremes go from one night stand, to marrying her and having kids. I am curios what industry/business you work in, and what area of the world you are in- This would definitely factor into how and why she would be interested in you. I'm about the same age as you, and I have dated and have had sex with a verity of stripper. The reasons they dated me, and what their motives were varied greatly.

Things that were consistent. I always ALWAYS faked sexual disinterest in the club. Other then that, all the general rules of PUA apply.

I always made a point not to make them feel like I looked at them differently because they were strippers. I would NEVER bring up any discussion about how it was weird, unusual living the life of a stripper would be...

Some strippers are total party animals, and they are looking for a man to buy them drugs, expensive things, and entertain them in expensive places and activities... I've never dated that type. So I can't offer any advice in this particular area.

For PUA strategies, I found that it was very important to make them really have to work to get my interest. I would quickly find something about them to disqualify them, and say "Oh, I could never date you because-- Blah Blah Blah". I've used "I would never date a stripper", "I can't be around you- We would fight all the time.", "I have a rule that I would never date someone X years younger than me." It's been my experience that these girls are so bored with how easy it is to get guys to want them. That's their JOB and it's really boring to them. They want the challenge and excitement of actually having to try hard to get a guy's real interest.

They all craved normalcy in their lives.

bawss · 2011-09-18T19:03:21+00:00

IMO I would see how she reacts once the bill comes from the server. If she offers to pay, that's one thing..if she just looks at it and says nothing about it, then be cautious.

vinhammer · 2011-09-18T17:57:25+00:00

Steer away any sexual conversation, she gets enough of it as work as it is. She needs to know that you are interested in her for more than sex in order for her to invest more of herself into you. Having said that, any sexual escalation and displays of interest needs to be done through body language. Being older naturally conveys an image or responsibility, of someone who has their shit together unless you're a perpetual man child in which case, grow the fuck up! A good way to do play this in your favour is to talk about the experiences you've had and what you've learned from them. Find out what she doesn't like about guys her age or just what she doesn't like about guys in general and then sympathize a little with those guys, say how you used to be like that but that something made you change, made you tired of being like the negative attribute. She probably gets ogled and hit on by plenty of guys at work so you need be different and rather than chasing her, have her chase you instead. When you notice things about her, talk about how they apply/relate to you rather than her to try and bring out "oh my goodness, that's me!" or "yes! I feel the same way!" type of reactions; let her relate to you as a way of chasing you and trying to gain your approval. She already strips for others so to be different, don't come on strong at all but don't be cold either, reciprocate and let her up her charms and wiles as if she's trying to bed you! TL;DR Let her do most of the work and enjoy!

theyareAs · 2011-09-18T20:38:28+00:00

Don't. Do it.

CharlieDirt · 2011-09-18T21:47:22+00:00

$20 should do it

APerlz · 2011-09-18T22:15:06+00:00

Don't go.

PetiePal · 2011-09-19T14:11:13+00:00

Playing you for money bro. And who wants to date a woman who every man's seen her tits and had a go anyways? If she's THAT forward how many other men has she done the same with meh.

I'd say avoid like the plague. You should play around a bit and tease her and see if she'll pay for the first meal lol

HamCannon · 2011-09-18T18:20:21+00:00

i wouldn't date someone 20 years younger than me. im 24 and would be gut wrenched to imagine myself dating someone that's only 4 years old today

screwthat4u · 2011-09-18T17:25:37+00:00

She is using you for money and entertainment. She wants drug money. But on the plus side she will fuck you.

Title	Tips for first date with a stripper?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	93
Comments	145
Date	September 18, 2011 3:42 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/kjk8z/tips_for_first_date_with_a_stripper/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/tips-for-first-date-with-a-stripper.1322649 https://theredarchive.com/post/1322649

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