what are the significant differences between trying to find a girlfriend and picking up girls?

theultimatehero2 · 2012-12-08T16:39:09+00:00

Having a girlfriend is like picking up the same girl over and over again.

locotx · 2012-12-08T19:41:54+00:00

There is no difference. When you hear about relationships that have "lost their spark", it's because of this. . . there's some sort of mentality that once she's your girlfriend you don't have to bring your A game . . . that is furthest from the truth . . that's where you bring it strong and man up and pretty much say "you always have the option to go be with other guys but you know who I am and what I bring" . .then you create the situation where she doesn't have to be with you . .she CHOOSES to be with you and that is the ultimate relationship goal in having a girlfriend, relationship, picking up a girl or having a wife . . ."Always be the hunted, never be the hunter" . . if you are not being hunted, then the harsh reality is you have no game, you have to step back, evaluate and change some things . . RantOver

ImJustAMan · 2012-12-08T18:15:44+00:00

Make sure you show your intentions as early and as clearly as possible!

ThrowawayPUA · 2012-12-08T16:58:02+00:00

You will have to approach and pick up a woman before she can become your girlfriend.

lifelongAFC · 2012-12-08T19:22:08+00:00

you never should "try" to do either. If you go out with the specific intention to get laid, not to have fun, you will come off as creepy and people will see that you are after one thing only. This is especially true wit trying to get a girlfriend. Actively looking for "the one" will only result in you coming from a place of neediness and getting you nowhere. Instead, I go out knowing that I am probably going to get laid, but am sure as hell gonna have a great time with my friends in the process. Things more often than not work out, especially right now. The best way to find that special someone is to not be looking for it. One nighter's are a bit different, because you do need to make a sales pitch, but hey she knows why youre there, there's a reason she's out: she wants fucked.. and trust me, she wants it 10x as bad as you. you just gotta give her a valid excuse so she doesnt get slut shamed in the AM. (recently posted about this in r/SedditElite if you want to read more)

wyojay · 2012-12-08T19:11:27+00:00

If you hook up with her before establishing a relationship, be sure to call her, no more than once if she does not respond. Ask her to dinner when she does respond and from there she will get that you are trying to make a relationship happen.

It's good to discuss future goals, not like marriage or anything because that's moving waaaaayyyy too fast. But express that you would like a relationship and that you're excited to see how things go with her. If you discuss this then there is no confusion about what either party wants.

It's good to send texts once in a while just simply something to let her know you're thinking about her. Ladies like reassurance. "I hope you're having a good day, I can't wait to see you again."

But most importantly always be true to her and yourself. If you aren't feeling the relationship get out of it, but if you are feeling it, be you and let things run their course.

Good luck out there! Hope I helped :)

jwal245 · 2012-12-08T18:48:38+00:00

Well the major difference is the framing. You don't want to be giving off the one-night-stand vibe if you are attempting to have a relationship. Yes, you flirt, but the escalation ladder is much more drawn out then with standard SNL pickup

ColonelKurtzPhD · 2012-12-08T16:43:12+00:00

First you pick up an attractive girl. Then, as she shows that she has the qualities you look for in a relationship you spend more time with her until you have the talk.

Then you pick up one more girl and have a threesome :)

ihaveabu · 2012-12-08T23:19:36+00:00

There is no difference. Pickup comes before she becomes your girlfriend, and after the honeymoon phase is over.

So many guys think ok, I got the girl, I can go back to video games, beer, and bumming around.

You worked hard to pickup the girl, get her attracted, and started the relationship.

Pickup follows through during key moments of any relationship to keep it healthy and fun.

The goal to learn pickup should be to become a better and more desirable man. Everything else follows naturally.

ocdguythrowaway · 2012-12-09T00:53:18+00:00

In my opinion, the difference is that you'd be more selective. There are a lot of women that I could, I think, "pick up" and have a couple of dates, and maybe have sex with them. To me, 90% of women are attractive. So if I was out looking to have fun, I could have that fun with almost anyone.

If I was trying to pick up a girl, I would overlook any number of red flags that would disqualify her as a girlfriend. But if I was looking for a girlfriend, I wouldn't ignore those things.

So for example, if I meet someone and she says, "gosh I am just so messy. I'm a total slob." That, for me, is a problem in a relationship. I've done that before and I'm not doing it again. I want someone mature enough to clean up after themselves.

However, if I just want to have fun and maybe sex, that's not an issue at all.

goodknee · 2012-12-09T02:52:27+00:00

I think most people are more picky when it comes to a relationship..

for a hook up, maybe the girl is kind of annoying? or not as smart as you would like, but you only want sex, so it doesn't matter that much..but if you want a relationship with a girl, you probably can't try for someone who you want a relationship with, these things are probably deal breakers.

personally, im not much for hookups, but the girls I have hooked up with were (generally) not the women that I could see myself really dating, because if they were, I would have at least tried to make a relationship out of it.

igiveyouthechuckles · 2012-12-08T23:40:49+00:00

your expectation

centurijon · 2012-12-09T03:51:51+00:00

The only difference is whether or not you kick them out in the morning.

motsiru · 2012-12-09T04:14:28+00:00

One just happens, the other is forced.

POOR_IMPULSE_CONTR0L · 2012-12-08T18:51:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

rlvalentino · 2012-12-08T21:04:48+00:00

Work on yourself more than you do on your Game. The added value is what women ultimately desire from LTR's.

In the initial stages if you can get to the point of F-closing her for the first time, take it away. Make HER wait. She'll see you as instant BF Material because she is "special." In other words, "I want to F you, but i really like and want to take things slow."

Start reading relationship books like, "Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus" and the "5 Love Languages."

sparkreason · 2012-12-09T00:46:24+00:00

Picking up girls is like going to the buffet. You can pick what you like there is a tremendous variety in flavors. Some you will like and some you can't stand but it's on your budget as you wish.

Having a girlfriend is like going to the grocery store for the week, you know what to expect, it requires some real work in the preparation but it's worth it because you are vested in it ... at the end you are doing the dishes...you are going to have to do the dishes and clean and stuff.

Being Married is like having the same meal. Everyday. And yeah you are doing the dishes, and maybe if you are lucky you might get dessert but more than likely dessert will be tired and has a headache.

PapaHomes · 2012-12-08T19:06:50+00:00

I just do what I usually do and if we get on like house on fire we start dating.

turtlekitty30 · 2012-12-08T23:00:59+00:00

Gotta do one to get the other

mabden · 2012-12-09T16:20:26+00:00

IMHO, none.

In order to find a girlfriend, you need to pick up chicks. The more chicks you pick up, the better you become at screening chicks for the one(s) you find suitable for you and what you want out of a girlfriend.

SmoothAndCreamy · 2012-12-08T20:48:21+00:00

None. Because you're not a wussy. You are someone that naturally attracts women. Then, YOU decide if you want a girlfriend or date multiple women.

ARealSocialIdiot · 2012-12-08T23:04:26+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Freevoulous · 2012-12-08T17:21:34+00:00

Pick up 3-4 girls, and turn your relationships with them into infrequent dating/ friends with benefits.
Try to learn as much as you can about them, their values, personalities, and what they want from life.
Friendzone all of them save the one you really are compatible with: emotionally, intelectually, sexually and humor-wise.

Example:

Two months ago I've decided to get a GF. In about 3 weeks, I've picked up HB7 Goth, HB7 Rockabilly, and HB8 Classy. Over the course of the next few weeks it turned out that HB Rockabilly is a cool chick but too much of a flaker, HB Goth is amazing in bed, but dumb like sack of hammers, and HB Classy is amazing, smart, good in bed and fun, but needs to ditch her failure boyfriend first.

So, I friendzoned HB Rockabilly (it annoyed her to the point that she decided to be FWB wit me, but is still to flakey to be useful), HB Goth and I are no-strings attached fuckbuddies, and I wait for HB Classy to fix her life before I make any moves to get more involved with her.

If it works, I will end up being monogamous with HB Classy, and gently let go of the other two, and if it fails, I will warm up my relationship with HB Goth into a full girlfriend - boyfriend status.

This is, more or less, how it works. Good luck!

Bobsutan · 2012-12-08T18:43:40+00:00

What's the difference? None at all.

Title	what are the significant differences between trying to find a girlfriend and picking up girls?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	154
Comments	84
Date	December 8, 2012 4:20 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/14i2d5/what_are_the_significant_differences_between/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-are-the-significant-differences-between.1343950 https://theredarchive.com/post/1343950

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