What improved your first dates the most?

slymarmol · 2024-11-21T02:38:44+00:00

Arriving with no expectations and more of a reconnaissance mindset.

NoMoassNeverWas · 2024-11-21T02:48:32+00:00

Logistics. I can't tell you how many times I've had dates where the girl is picky about the place: too loud, too many people, there's no seats available, etc.

Look at maps and have 5 other places in mind. Also if date is going well, moving to another location helps a lot. Something happens psychologically to make them more comfortable.

Awkward_Freedom_4551 · 2024-11-21T03:03:25+00:00

Having an optimized, repeatable first date, and getting better at running it smoothly.

Kindly-Draw2901 · 2024-11-21T03:54:18+00:00

Letting the girl do 80% of the talking. Most men talk too much during the first date leading to them eventually saying something the women doesn’t like. This leads to him essentially throwing away his chance of getting with her.

IamWisdom · 2024-11-21T04:00:43+00:00

Not caring about the outcome and accepting myself for the way I am.

NChSh · 2024-11-21T02:54:42+00:00

4 things:

1.) Growing out facial hair and keeping it super short with a cleanly shaved neck.

2.) Dressing nicer

3.) Going on so many dates I have no nervousness at all and have no problem touching a leg or arm out of nowhere to build attraction. Lots of eye contact too

4.) Venue selection. So there's one bar that is nice, great low lighting, music is always good, and the seating makes you really close to your date. I also make beach fires but that's more of a second date thing. Then my magnum opus is going to the dog beach at 4 pm, it gets dark now at 5, you walk to the downtown nearby to get sushi or tacos + a couple drinks, then you walk back to the cars and it's an empty parking lot. Guaranteed make out session if you want one

therealwoujo · 2024-11-21T03:51:28+00:00

See a date as her trying to impress you rather than you trying to impress her.

No-Preference8767 · 2024-11-21T03:44:30+00:00

Being autistic af.

I wouldve said learning to touch was the best thing for me but honestly it's not being afraid to touch that's more important . You don't have to make risky touch moves if you don't want to

If I don't understand what to do or I want to do something I'll just ask the girl. It's obviously less " sexy " but I think most women have enough legit bad experiences where some guy saying they want to put their hand on the leg isn't the worst outcome for them. If they like you they'll oblige or tell you when they don't want something.

The second thing that improved my dates was understanding that there is no sexual interaction without tension. It's almost useless to try and be smooth in the beginning. Smoothness is a nice cherry on top but it's better to be clear in your communication.

420PussyEater · 2024-11-21T05:40:35+00:00

Do the same thing every time. Have a bar you can chat at. Go for drinks, but hey if they have a kitchen and she wants fries don't be stingy. Then just talk to her. See if you like her. If the vibe is there then seed your cool record collection with 'what kinda music you like?' and if you wanna take her back to yours then take her back to yours for music. Netflix sucks, yall amateurs, put on some Amy Winehouse on vinyl and the panties drop. Warning, girls who will fuck on the first date hardly come back for the 2nd even if the sex was amazing. So I tried going for the f close WAY less and ironically the times i didn't think i was getting laid was when i did. Prolly just in my head too much lol. Which goes to show, be real, talk, get to know them, if they say something like "I chose this school/job/city..." ask them why. They never usually have to answer that question, most guys will say 'oh cool, wow i never thought of that' so with you she's not on a pedastool and actually talking to you about why she does the thing she does. Again just talk. Seed a 2nd date, we should go here and take pictures, oh i know the bartenders here we can hang out even after they close... etc... Try to at least kiss, and if there's no kiss, then why even have a 2nd date. Get that makeout and go from there. Sorry kinda rambled lol but just talk, listen a lot, qualify her to you, and keep all variables the same. Bar, close to house, drinks, not dinner, and maybe even a place to walk.

Ur_X · 2024-11-21T03:33:25+00:00

Stop seeing dates like a job interview

hal64 · 2024-11-21T03:53:03+00:00

Doing what I want for first date and bringing her along.

DeliberatelyInsane · 2024-11-21T11:06:40+00:00

Confidence.

I tried everything, dressing nice, grooming well, all that. But nothing worked better than being confident. Confidence allows you to project yourself better, make and maintain eye contact, speak your truths, and much more.

I’m not saying dressing up and grooming are useless, in fact those things help you be more confident. The evidence supporting the superiority of confidence presented itself when during a date I was talking about a stupid online game and she was eating it all up. Contrast it with a true story of me barely surviving during a rock climbing incident that had a previous date yawning.

Work on believing in yourself and being confident and the rest will fall in place.

Dandys3107 · 2024-11-21T09:03:55+00:00

Changing mindset from pushing myself to conduct whole show by myself properly to having good time myself and checking if the girl would be a good match for me.

Informal_Sherbert251 · 2024-11-21T02:49:21+00:00

Understanding that the nervousness was never gonna go away and they might be as nervous as I am or worse. So just be your best self.

The_rock_hard · 2024-11-21T12:58:48+00:00

Moving to a neighborhood with better venues.

I moved to the most desirable neighborhood in my city. Girls love coming to this area. Having first dates at the bar around the corner, where I know everyone (social proof,) it makes a huge difference, and all the logistics fall into place easier now. I've found it's way easier to get a girl into my apartment if it's a short walk away, compared to driving. It's weird, girls will sooner jump into bed with a man than jump into his car

WhatsTheAnswerDude · 2024-11-21T06:01:21+00:00

Dear lord...

1-Having a phone call before ever meeting. Allows you to verify the vibe, see if your humor/banter work, develop rapport, etc.

Makes the first date more like a second date and I'm not gonna go into that one much farther.

2-Typically, 2 or 3 spots over three hours over 1 for 2 or 3 hours.

3-Logistics/proximity. Get a place in town that's either in the heat of the city or at least viable places NEARBY you can grab a drink or meet up at.

An ounce of logistics is worth a pound of intimacy.

4-Touch. I'm very touchy feely and a big cuddlebug as is. Physical touch is one of my primary love languages. Whether telling a joke or just sipping on your drink, for the love of God don't afraid to touch the girl. If I'm holding her hand I ready know I can kiss the girl pretty much.

Back to 1

Number one is absolutely number one though. Also makes it way easier to just go straight to hers for the meet up or have her come to yours....or like grab snacks/apps/your drinks at a grocery store and then go straight to yours

And NO you don't go right at it as soon as you get back. Vibe and chill for a hit and usually it's only like donkey Kong within an hour or two.

More so, honestly what I like about a phone call to is that not many guys do it or can carry a convo like that. There's NO way you can hide behind a phone call either like you kinda can when out and about and don't need the attention all on yourself possibly, and I think that's extremely powerful.

It's raw, there's no way to hide. The girl is either gonna like you or she won't. You can't flash bs or anything like that, it's stripped bare. You'll either have her absolutely loving the vibe and banter or convo or, she won't be that into it. I've also had like a 99 or 98% success rate (vibe on the call is good, meeting up and going at it happens too).

Also, to anyone that says "well she doesn't like calls." Well, I kinda get it but uh....in my opinion if you can't do a phone call you're not a damn adult. It's a part of living. Not only thst, if I'm dating someone we won't be directly around each other all the time and phone calls help bridge that connection. If phone calls are too much to ask of her or anything, holy shit I couldn't care and would rather go date an adult.

Lastly, these phone calls that are just "real quick" can EASILY go over 30 minutes or an hour or even several hours sometimes. Never get complaints from a girl that they're too long either.

More so, its extremely efficient. I don't have to get ready. I don't have to configure where to go. I don't have to get an outfit ready, get ready myself, hit the gym/lift that day or hours before hand, i dont have to take the time to get somewhere, and i DONT have to pay for SHIT to make it happen; it's just a straight phone call I can literally do in my sweats.

And again, generally if you enjoyed talking to her....she's gonna be a fun person to spend time with regardless (unless you got catfished and she's a big girl lol).

PeterLamb87 · 2024-11-21T03:43:26+00:00

Getting into women heavy areas (dancing and real estate) this increased my confort with women and teached me how to approach, handle and learn womentalk, thus I became more charming as a result.

Understanding women dont owe me anything and going to dates without a sense of entitlement, this helps you keep frame and abundance mindset.

Irachar · 2024-11-21T12:53:22+00:00

Logistics! When i lived alone and in good location -> interactions more fluent, intimacy (not sex) and sex is before so connection and confidence between us before and better

When I lived not alone -> more complicated to escalate, I felt stuck many times when there are no logistics, not that much connection that when you are alone with her in your place doing something relaxed and arriving to sex, more confidence and chemistry is created

jjboy91 · 2024-11-22T03:32:58+00:00

Not putting anyone on a pedestal, going there for 20 minutes without doing too much, usual outfit, and casual walk by the sea for example

builderallreview · 2024-11-22T05:07:54+00:00

I plan three locations that are within walking distance for three date ideas. For instance: an art workshop, a board games and drinks session, and finally, a casual restaurant. Keeps me interested as well

Hungry_Ad2210 · 2024-11-22T09:36:54+00:00

First of all, have a plan and know how to act. Don't put too much expectations on anything. I figured most of the first dates are the same. Be cool and let her talk more. Change places. All the rest, having some sort of a script is too much as you can't predict how she will respond.

CultureEmergency6140 · 2024-11-21T02:58:13+00:00

Make a move and kiss. next of your dates u will atted her as your girlfriend

ovnf · 2024-11-21T06:11:37+00:00

Going when feeling angry and bad - they love dominance and no bs approach

SamuraiRetainer · 2024-11-21T05:18:45+00:00

Making an 1 hour plan- where to go, what to talk about... And memorize it.

ThrowAwayInevitable1 · 2024-11-21T15:49:05+00:00

0 expectations and not pressuring myself into any nonsense seduction games.

Literally just turn up, genuinely listen to her and ask questions, and maybe tease occasionally, and that's it.

Genuinely not sure I could fail to get a second date following the recipe now - unless I purposely turned up unwashed/scruffy. Now it's just a matter of whether I want the second date or not.

Competitive-Pop6530 · 2024-11-21T18:57:45+00:00

Marriage

ExpertBig2526 · 2024-11-21T20:43:43+00:00

Practice. Confidence & Not overly chatty.

SparkDom23 · 2024-12-04T02:08:28+00:00

SPAMMER TRYING TO GET YOU ON ONLY FANS. DONT FALL FOR IT.

Title	What improved your first dates the most?
Author	VelvetVamp1
Upvotes	140
Comments	75
Date	November 21, 2024 2:08 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1gw56jl/what_improved_your_first_dates_the_most/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-improved-your-first-dates-the-most.1536408 https://theredarchive.com/post/1536408

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