Why are women so confusing?

maybebionic · 2022-09-16T18:24:28+00:00

Read the book "Attached".. she is clearly an avoidant attachment type. Trying to get closer to her will only push her away. You have to give her space, but if that does not honor yourself then find another woman.

Lopsided_Jackfruit37 · 2022-09-16T15:13:41+00:00

There's nothing to "make sense of" and she isn't being "confusing". She was very clear in that she wants space away from you. That means she's not interested in spending time with you right now. Leave her alone. Stop analyzing the situation. It doesn't matter why. Go chat up some other women and move on.

eszibit · 2022-09-16T15:59:24+00:00

I'd venture a guess she started catching feelings and needed some space to figure it out. She asked you for said space and you ignored it, proving that you wouldn't really be a good match for a bf. Now i guess she has second thoughts and i'd venture a guess she'll dump you.

Lesson to be learned, don't get drunk and text and just listen to what a woman says and respect her decision, if she plays games she's not for you, if she's honest she will appreciate it.

bcool_returns · 2022-09-16T19:21:15+00:00

Definitely should've waited for more than a week before hitting her up ... and asking her out for coffee at that. This is your only option/best option and it shows. So go out there and talk to other women. Because continuing to chase women who are withdrawing is a fool's errand. Also rather than saying she "hates men," more likely there's a particular guy she still can't get over. And despite all the complaints about him to you, she still has emotional investment in him.

Dactheguy · 2022-09-16T16:18:28+00:00

Don't over pursue. Nothing confusing about this one. If she isn't initiating, give her space.

deep2021 · 2022-09-16T17:32:38+00:00

Patience

Sure-Wish3240 · 2022-09-16T17:01:38+00:00

I sense that at least one heart will end up broken on this tale.

Maybe she realized you are not what she wants.

Maybe there is a misunderstanding of your feelings for each other.

In any case you have an impossible mission ahead of you: you must expose your heart to a woman that does not want to see you.

There is a non zero chance that she is or soon will be fucking another dick and living the things you primed her to enjoy having in a relationship.

When a girl asks for a break, things are already broken. Remember Ross and Rachel " we were giving a break" situation. Only that 95% of the time its girls that pick another Dick during the break.

lifeintraining · 2022-09-16T19:00:34+00:00

My man, real closure no longer exists, it’s unfortunate but it’s best to rip that bandaid off. She was clear about what she wants, which is honestly more than you can expect these days. Take it in stride and move on.

Edit: Actually, I think the ability of the modern man to move on from this stems from “internal closure”. By that I mean inherently understanding what’s happening rather than feeling confused so I’ll give you some more information that might help you. So here are some things to know.

Women change their minds like they change clothes because the majority think emotionally rather than logically. This is not sexism, ofc women are fully capable of thinking logically, but this typically requires a level of effort due to estrogen being associated with more intense emotions. That said, she herself may not have even bothered to ask “why” she wants her space from you because she’s just following what her emotions have told her.
She may have met another man. Maybe she feels like a slut for sleeping with you. Maybe the spark died out and she’s just not really into you anymore. Like I said above, maybe she has no idea.
People avoid conflict like the plague. She will almost assuredly never give you an actual explanation even if she does know why because she simply doesn’t need to. She can just leave and avoid conflict altogether. This is modern human nature.
You don’t need to know. If you just go silent then one of two things will happen. You will either move on and have sex with someone new, or she will hit you up again. The point is when you walk away it shows value. It shows her that you don’t need her in your life to feel complete. This is extremely attractive.

I can tell you all these things but what you need to do is be genuinely willing to never talk to this woman again. You most likely did nothing wrong. Just eat the loss and learn from it.

privacylmao · 2022-09-17T01:31:40+00:00

You might be going too fast for her. Yeah it's "casual" but after 8 times you caught some feelings and she probably did too and that scared her. Let her be cold, fuck other girls and she'll come back anytime soon, don't think too much

bobqat · 2022-09-16T17:09:14+00:00

I think u telegraphed too much interest and neediness when it wasn't required.

Your options:-

Leave her alone, go into a no contact mode... Don't contact her on ur own..This includes social media stalking (unfollow her or delete ur insta whenever u feel like stalking her) ..Once she has stuff sorted..she will contact u. When she does contact u don't act butt hurt.. Don't tell her how u missed her & how u were eagerly waiting for her while she was taking her space..Keep all this stuff to urself..

Instead, Act like u just had a date with her. Basically be positive and charming like nothing happend. She might come back. (Don't keep hopes though.)

And/Or

While she is ignoring u. Go and meet other women. Go out on dates with them, make things happen with them..If ur feeling great, post pictures of u having a great time with them on social media.

Turbopre2 · 2022-09-16T16:06:04+00:00

So she made it clear what she wants but it does sound like her past traumas are creeping in. It also doesn't help that you are getting drunk and getting emotional with her

UnkemptGoose339 · 2022-09-16T17:51:11+00:00

lol it makes sense. She's most likely seeing another guy or guys that has caught her interest more than you. Don't say anything to her, wait for her to initiate and act aloof when she does contact you. Start dating other girls at the same time. Don't pay attention to her.

Impossible_Yellow751 · 2022-09-16T21:58:27+00:00

As a women we are told so many different things that conflict with each other For me I talk all the time and I’m upfront about my attraction and life but my friends told me I need to be more quite not talk as much toNe down my personality and feeling cause my friends say im an intense person and when I talk loud or am a forward person it freaks men out so I tried be more flirty and sexy while being quite and aloof like less aggressive and clingy I’m a natural romantic person but I was told to stop that shit and face reality of life that I would never find any one who finds me attractive or like my personality and I’m akward girl I have always been weird girl who is annoying so when. I started to like someone I pulled back my feelings because I felt I had to be a completely different girl I like being funny girl and but being loud and funny never got me a date men never asked me out or took me on date: or did anything romantic I was always friendzoned and told I’m to nice and boring and they always choose these model type women really feminine and girly and perfect body and they were always flawless women it ate away at my self esteem to the point when I really liked him i but I didn’t feel Attractive enough for him or made enough money or as smart as him . So I was given conflicting information and advice from friends so eventually I gave up and I stop talking to him not because I didn’t want him but it was more of I don’t Like myself

2022-09-16T23:49:51+00:00

You gotta keep your cool bro, and you talk to her way too much, give her space to miss you. She has daddy issues dude, high likelihood you’re in for pain down the road anyways you don’t want that.

Krokfors · 2022-09-16T23:59:41+00:00

They tell you everything you need to know with their body language and behavior. Nothing complicated about them at all.

FelipepRntscRn · 2022-09-17T00:37:46+00:00

To me it sounds like you are overpursuing. If you read your post as if it was from another guy you would tell you are all dopey about her. 8 weeks thats what usually takes women to want to be a couple or break it off.

The whole, 'we've been talking everyday' it sounds as if you are always available. And if there's no mystery she wont feel anything.

I could keep on and on, and say what youve been doing wrong.

Just stay away until she reaches out, and ask her out. No more chitchat thru phone or coffee dates. You want to date her not be the gay friend.

gangweedsavedme · 2022-09-17T00:38:14+00:00

She seems to have an avoidant attachment style, I would just forget about her. With other people like I would probably tell them I understand because personally I’ve dealt with fear of commitment before as well. So next time just make them feel understood, but I wouldn’t keep on texting her specifically because you already reached out twice. If she hasn’t hit you up in a year then ask how she’s doing and if she wants to catch up.

Do you like her?

Hermit41 · 2022-09-17T00:43:03+00:00

Just pull back sounds like she wants some space, you told her to hit you up, my advice would be to let her reach out. If she truly cares she will sometimes when things move too fast I feel like girls get scared and kinda test you too to see if you gna be pressed and start hitting her up a lot or can actually be without her and just do you. You tried to reach out and put how you feel on the table shes know already, now in my opinion you should just fall back let her hyu

ruffyamaharyder · 2022-09-16T17:13:43+00:00

Stop trying to figure them out. Do what you like, and think of women as a bonus to whatever you're striving for. Don't let them get in the way. Don't make them your focus.

If you do those things, they become extremely simple and will go after you.

beywill19 · 2022-09-16T15:00:00+00:00

Women don’t make sense. That’s simply the answer. Trying to figure out why just leaves you more confused.

FG4u2nv · 2022-09-16T21:01:46+00:00

My guess is that there's another guy in the picture. Usually when a girl gets distant with you without some dramatic incident to set it off, she's likely found another option. The fact that you guys aren't serious and she hasn't tried to make it serious means she was open to other possibilities from the start and perhaps she met one.

I'd suggest that you also respect her request for space and distance yourself while focusing on meeting someone else who can fulfill that role.

2pumpschump · 2022-09-16T21:17:24+00:00

She talking to another guy

FG4u2nv · 2022-09-16T21:49:38+00:00

[deleted]

Rivendesu12 · 2022-09-16T23:27:30+00:00

Hey man, have this problem more than enough times. The girl likely has Bdp (borderline personality disorder) and sadly you shouldn’t take this girls seriously if you don’t want to fuck your mental health (like seriously I got pretty traumatic experiences with these type of girls) if you want to clear your head on the matter I’ll leave you a video that will make everything make sense https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oOnTHbDNdbw

Blackmagic213 · 2022-09-17T01:10:47+00:00

She lost a bit of attraction and you played into it a bit…

It’s a dance, if someone pulls back, you pull back too…you just failed her shit tests. This is actually very very common. Eventually, you’ll learn how to calibrate your interactions so you can sense when and why she’s pulling away.

bk15dcx · 2022-09-16T15:27:29+00:00

I'll just point out that you are using terms like girl and boy. So I'm guessing there's some immaturity all around here.

jjboy91 · 2022-09-16T21:24:44+00:00

Because they don't know what they want

mjornir · 2022-09-16T15:43:38+00:00

what exactly did you do when you were drunk?

mabden · 2022-09-16T16:26:17+00:00

Why are chicks confusing??

In general, to separate the men from the boys.

In particular to this chick, she has a low interest level (attraction) to you.

Move on.

HeadDot141 · 2022-09-16T16:57:10+00:00

She has no interest in you..well, not enough for it to become a thing or enough to pursue you.

Golden_Golem · 2022-09-16T16:58:06+00:00

They are not confusing. The masculine will always find the feminine chaotic and confusing. And we should be okay with that.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2022-09-16T17:42:17+00:00

Respect her wishes and go no contact.

dump_fool · 2022-09-16T20:27:01+00:00

Don't get drunk son! Girls don't like that, especially when you are "black out drunk".

It's not what you said - it's what you did - you allowed yourself to loose control over yourself and got brainfucked drunk...

Apologize - tell her you regret that you put her thru that.

ILikeMath420 · 2022-09-16T23:58:12+00:00

Lols bro love you forever is a distrustingly long time unless you break up which is disgustingly painful

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-09-17T00:01:39+00:00

Most likely she has developed avoidant attachment issues because of her past trauma. When she starts getting close to someone she begins to pull away because she is afraid they will hurt her, or learn about her flaws and reject her. I'd actually ask for a quick phone call and then ask for one last meetup, and then try talking to her about it.

SexxyMoeFoe · 2022-09-17T00:02:35+00:00

If you actually believe her, which it sounds like you trust her and do think she's telling the truth, why do you think it's confusing? She literally told you exactly what it was and what she needed. You also agree it was intense in the beginning and seem to understand what she was saying...

If you don't believe her that's another story but that doesn't seem to be what you are saying.

Entire_Egg_4119 · 2022-09-17T01:12:24+00:00

She wants a relationship

MayhemReignsTV · 2022-09-17T03:23:37+00:00

You needed to keep your own space. That was your first mistake. Spending all day and all night with her in the beginning will just kill the attraction. Factor in that she hasn’t been in a relationship in a while and that becomes even more true.

Then you admitted it, you started acting crazy. Right now, you just need to stop focusing on that one. Not saying you have necessarily blown it, maybe you have, but if you keep obsessing you definitely will. Get yourself back out there and get socializing a bit. Distract yourself and distance from the situation without thinking about it all the time. It’s possible she could come back around, depending on just how crazy you acted when you mentioned that time you got drunk. But if not, it won’t be the end of the world.

Assuming she hates men though? Grow up. You definitely had a hand in where this situation is now. Why would you assume she just hates men? Can’t avoid taking responsibility for your part if you want something in the future to work out the way you want it to.

The text message to me seems like she just wants you to go away, at this point. She hasn’t said it in so many words but some women won’t. Of course, you don’t have to jump the gun. Go out and have fun and if she contacts you in a couple of weeks and you’re still interested, go for it and learn from your mistakes.

pheobebuffaybhammock · 2022-09-17T04:18:21+00:00

Not confusing at all. She was clear about not wanting anything serious with you, you behaved in a way that made her feel uncomfortable and she decided that it was time to end things. Simply time to move on with your life

Title	Why are women so confusing?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	20
Comments	99
Date	September 16, 2022 2:56 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xftjj5/why_are_women_so_confusing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-are-women-so-confusing.1249916 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249916

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