I constantly see these kinds of comments from friends, acquaintances, or even in this same sub:

  • I lost weight.
  • I started strength training.
  • I fixed my posture.
  • I began taking care of my skin and grooming better.
  • I improved my fashion sense.
  • I improved the way I walk and talk.

And then they ask: “Why don’t I attract women?”

But aren’t these things basically a baseline responsibility for every man? Where did this idea come from that doing all this will make women magically line up?

Don’t get me wrong — I’m not against it. It just feels childish to keep believing that these things alone will make you stand out among all the other options women have. Sure, it boosts your confidence, but what good is that if a woman still tells you, “I see you more like a friend,” or “Honestly, I didn’t feel a spark with you,” and everything falls apart?

If you want to look better, do it for yourself. It’s very hard for someone else to value your effort the way you do.