Women put no effort

seduction-ModTeam · 2025-02-13T19:40:47+00:00

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Calcium-silicate · 2025-02-13T08:18:11+00:00

>Frankly, only unattractive women ask me questions and look me deeply in the eyes and are feminine around me

This should key you in on what's going on. I know you said you're not unattractive, but the bar is incredibly high for the type of girl you seem to be chasing. I'm muscular and extremely fit and I sink on dating apps because I'm shorter. You need to take an honest inventory of your looks and make an assessment of where you stand. The market is incredibly tilted right now, it's unfair, but it's the way it is.

pastor-of-muppets69 · 2025-02-13T05:53:27+00:00

I just got back from a speed dating event. The men were objectively better looking and in better shape than the women there. I knew a couple of the guys there and did a "post-mortem" with them after. NONE of us got matches, even though we were pretty liberal with our likes and felt like we connected at least a little with most of the women we met. I'm a fit, good looking and personable guy. It sounds self centered, but I just know how far I've come.

The truth is, women have so many options in the US, you will be absolutely astounded by who thinks you're "out of their league". You bring up the idea of dating abroad. Frankly, that's an option I've been considering more and more. Yes, I could work on myself harder, approach more women, improve my game even more, etc and probably have success. But, to be honest, it's been a long time since I've met an American women who deserves anything near that.

I've dated in Peru before, and It's pretty much the only time I've ever felt like I was being treated as an equal by someone around my attractiveness level. I don't owe american women anything, and if they don't want me, I'm really not that beat up about it tbh. I'm just mad I've wasted so much time on them. A part of me wants american men to collectively look elsewhere for partners because it's a crime how much we're taken for granted here. Anyway, sorry, vent over.

norwegiandoggo · 2025-02-13T09:02:05+00:00

Maybe you're attracted to women who have this vibe of being "not into you". Have you considered you're attracted to women who have that vibe?

Some guys have this as a defense. Very common when you're still young. They seem disinterested - and this make you interested. You want what you can't have. You fall for the scarcity principle

Rollorich · 2025-02-13T13:17:44+00:00

You're invisible to pretty women. Ugly women are invisible to you.

GaryOak7 · 2025-02-13T16:42:34+00:00

This is pretty common now. Women have unconsciously adopted a very lackadaisical approach to dating. You know why? Because they can. Men still pursue even when they’re left on read. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen DM’s of men talking to themselves.

Going overseas won’t necessarily solve this issue. It’s not some magical solution.

It would be better to just observe responses. Are you jumping through hoops to schedule dates? Is she fine with your event choices or does she suggest dinner constantly?

Observe if she’s patient with you. Does she take 24 hours to reply to basic messages? Women help you out when they like you.

All of these are indicators of where you stand. There are often cases of them holding back interest to observe your behavior.

Be witty and call them out on the nonchalant behavior. If there’s interest there, she will correct herself and figure out you’re not here to be a pen pal.

LucaCoco_ · 2025-02-13T08:54:00+00:00

Being good looking doesn't equal being attractive. First you need to make them attracted to you to make them want to invest in the interaction.

GO_Zark · 2025-02-13T15:07:37+00:00

I will talk to her a couple of times but she never asks any questions about me or even puts forth enthusiasm.

Talking to women in a fun, playful way that spikes her emotions and generates attraction is an entirely separate skillset from having a good conversation with your friends. It sounds like you're good at the latter, not the former.

I don't think I'm an unattractive guy, many friends and even people I'm not close to have told me I'm a good looking guy.

Looks are only one lever that you can pull to increase how attracted women are to you.

Others include:

Hygiene (well groomed, smell great)
Genetics (Natural / artificial features, body composition, eye color, etc)
Fitness (visible muscle, lower body fat, athletic ability)
Prowess (she thinks or knows you're good in bed)
Experience with women (charisma, rizz, social skills, game)
Presentation (style, fashion, passion)
Social Proof (Friend group, other hot women who like you)
Lifestyle (Money, Status & Influence, Power & Authority)

girls just don't see me like a human being who has a family, who is a brother, a friend, a son, a grandson. They just see me like I'm some dog trying to get in their pants.

They probably see you as an interruption to their routine. Interruptions can be good, bad or neutral. Most single woman want the storybook tale of being swept off their feet by a handsome stranger at the store / on a plane / on a night out, but there's more to sweeping a woman off her feet than simply being available and attractive. If you don't talk to / behave with her in a way that generates stomach butterflies, that interaction with a handsome stranger moves from good to neutral to bad real fast.

I have been thinking of going to Europe to check out how the women are across the pond because in USA

If you don't like feminist women, I have bad news for you about Europe. Also, whoever told you that all European women are 9s and 10s has given you the wrong impression of Europe. Women run the gamut there, just like here in the states. Some of them care about their appearance, others don't. A lot of the countries simply have a specific type of appearance that's more prevalent due to both the culture and years of isolation from and competition with their neighbors. The Nordics have a lot of tall blondes, Italians tend to be shorter and curvier, the Spanish are more svelte. That's what you're being sold on.

I am in college and women are timid / feminist / independent

Definitely forget this "blame feminism" bullshit, it's preached by a ton of morons who refuse to take any responsibility for their own problems. Almost all game really boils down to two main directives but nowhere is it more true than college.

Be cool - do cool things, know cool people, take great photos, and tell excellent stories. Know how to talk to women and make a habit out of it, whether you're attracted to them or not. Go to parties and social events and have fun with the people there, have social friends, have passions and goals and be working to achieve those goals. Be a safe guy for people to hang with or come to if they need help. Meet people through your connections and have those connections actively vouch for you.
Don't be uncool - don't be running around your school (a closed social environment where reputations are made and destroyed easily) practicing game, don't be approaching a lot of women who don't know you trying to pick them up, don't be the dude in the corner at a party, don't get yourself too drunk and be a buzzkill for the crew, don't make problems, don't be boastful, don't be a bully, don't be your own hype squad in a conversation, don't look or act like someone who drops things in people's drinks, etc.

TL;DR - if you're good looking and women check you out, but after talking to you for a short time, they're uninterested in dating / fucking you, you're probably boring as fuck (or they're interested and you're so bad at reading body clues that you don't escalate, but this is uncommon). Talking to women in a way that makes them more attracted to you (not less) is a separate skill from "having a conversation" and you need to specifically develop it otherwise this will keep happening.

ice_man085 · 2025-02-13T07:25:27+00:00

How do you know that women in your region are not interested in dating? Wouldn`it be way more logical to conclude that they are just not interested in dating you because you are boring?

Travelling is not going to save your problem because your issues are going to travel with you. Europe is a big place.

In my European home country there is no abundance of attractive women. It is the land avergage. Tons of normal looking women. Not many women are sticking out because all are average at best.

There might a country in europe that caters your fantasy about Europe but se choose wisely or you might be disappointed.

LegendaryZTV · 2025-02-13T14:42:55+00:00

Best advice I can give is stop seeking. Wait until a woman shows you genuine interest & work with that. If the women who seem to be attracted to you aren’t your type, back to the drawing board to figure out what’s causing that

“Don’t go for the woman you like, go for the woman who likes you”; makes a world of a difference. & if that’s not okay for you, it is okay to be single lol

In my experience, 95% of the women who are local to me all have kids & that’s an instant no for me, so I don’t date them & enjoy my time to myself. Relocating is on the horizon but until then & even then, I’m still not stressing finding someone who fits into my lifestyle

No_Arm_4505 · 2025-02-13T17:41:06+00:00

Don’t down vote please. Truth-speaker here. Women are especially susceptible to persuasion, influence, and programming. They also tend to have a group-think mindset. Over the past couple decades, women have been programmed in the US to believe men are dogs, predators, and manipulators. When you (stranger) interact with them, the programming takes over.

Go to any other country, and you’ll see the programming is different. Instead men are viewed as protectors and heroes.

In short, don’t take it personally. It’s our culture’s problem and there’s no fixing it anytime soon bruv

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2025-02-13T10:22:22+00:00

Hate to say it but if the vast majority of girls approaching you are not attractive then that's your lane.

srosete · 2025-02-13T10:31:14+00:00

I live in southern Europe and sadly we have imported most of your american culture already, so your experience sounds really familiar to me. Dating apps are really popular here too, and women have bios like "if you are not blond or don't have any shirtless pictures, don't bother with me".

The only regions that may fit your needs are Asia and South America in my opinion, as they are more traditional when it comes to mating dynamics.

Aside from that, I refuse to believe you have no chance at all in your area. My guess is that either you are stuck mentally, wether it's on someone or just bad experiences from the past, or you haven't tried enough. Reality is that if you are not hitting many women, then that's why you are not getting results and also you are probably not really good at it for the same reason.

Ragnardanneskjunior · 2025-02-13T10:03:02+00:00

You are self absorbed. Seduction requires that you put yourself in the mind of your targets and get out of your own head. This is an ego problem. If you aren't having fun then you will not attract positive attention.

EetinAintCheetin · 2025-02-13T11:58:15+00:00

I mean the problem is so obvious to me, but you are not seeing it like you can’t see the forest for the trees. It’s so so so simple.

Women you don’t find attractive are going after you because you treat them differently than attractive women. You don’t care about the unattractive ones, you don’t try to impress them, you are not attracted to them or all that interested in speaking to them even. And because of that behavior, which you display naturally with these women, they perceive you as someone they need to pursue.

But I sense a lot of neediness from you when it comes to attractive women. You obviously treat them like the prize, their approval is important to you and you seem to assume the role of the pursuer when it comes to interacting with these types of women. You are trying hard to qualify yourself and get them to like you, engage with you, etc. but this is submissive, courting behavior, which automatically means that the woman assumes the alpha, chooser role.

You can only one role in any interaction with a woman. You can either be the pursuer or the pursued. If you assume one role, she will assume the other. When you assume the role of the pursuer, begging for her attention, she assumes the role of the pursued - which means she is the chooser, the alpha, she is screening you and qualifying you to see if you are good enough for her (you never will be good enough for her if you are pursuing).

The reality is women LOVE pursuing the right man. You just need to behave like the right man.

HighwayOk9621 · 2025-02-13T10:50:36+00:00

Why do you think European women aren’t going to see you as some dog trying to get in their pants? You probably are especially if ur in this subreddit. I don’t think we are much easier over here, I could be wrong. And I am from two european countries.

LeopoldPaulister · 2025-02-13T08:28:08+00:00

I agree with you 100%. I'm not American but in my opinion American women are the most entitled women in the world. I'd say trust your guts and move abroad, the grass is greener.

The_rock_hard · 2025-02-13T13:29:38+00:00

This comment section is so fucked.

I've been to Europe. When I was bad with women here in the states, I was also bad with women in Europe. Now it's vice versa, I'm good with women on both continents. There's beautiful women here and over there. Beautiful women are not scarce in the US, that's fucking ridiculous.

If girls aren't talking to you, then you just don't know how to talk to girls yet. Girls love to talk.

It sounds like you think you're more attractive that you really are. The good news is, women's attraction is based more on personality than looks, so you can become an attractive man.

And of course you blame feminism. That tracks. You know a lot of European countries are more feminist than the US right?

AiSensualGoddess · 2025-02-13T14:09:42+00:00

If you want women to compete for you, the place to be is asia or south america, not europe lol. European women are not gonna throw themselves at you just because we have “more pretty” women.

Women who are pretty tend to be far more picky regardless of how many pretty ones there are, so you’ve got that completely wrong. Maybe in eastern Europe women could be more competir but that’s because they tend to be poorer and want a provider.

Fit-Bumblebee-2715 · 2025-02-13T06:27:33+00:00

I'm kind of a broken record with this anecdote, but it's life changing, so here goes - I used covid to get fit and it completely transformed my life. Before covid I was chubby with a beer belly, and after covid I emerged from the lockdown shredded and muscular with a 6-pack.

The difference in how women (and men to some extent) treat me is night and day. Before, I always felt invisible to women, and I'd have to try really hard to get their attention. Now though, women will actually make an effort with me, ask me questions, or even just stare at me or smile at me. The caliber of women I've been sleeping with as well as the number has shot up dramatically.

I don't really know your stats, but optimizing your looks is the way to go. Women respond to fit men especially since visibly fit, muscular men aren't that common - it makes you really stand out.

Either_Tart_3834 · 2025-02-13T16:07:09+00:00

lf a female isnt interested, she isnt going to put in an effort, if shes interested, she will. the mistake you are making is like alot of other guys. you see a cute female, and you chase her. l made that mistake too. then eventually you realize that you chase females who have shown some niceness, and youll get a lot farther, but even females who are nice doesnt mean they are interested. this is why most men will date females they have known for a long time. just going to europe isnt going to help your situation. you;d have to be immersed into the community in order for that to work. being a tourist isnt going to help your situation. and it isnt your age, nor is it the feminists. you can go to a relatively conservative, patriarchal country like pakistan, and l think you;d be just as single there as you would be here. females in europe also tend to be alot more liberal. this however, doesnt mean theyre going to be any easier than america females. a guy who carries himself well in america will do well in europe. a guy who carries himself in a wierd way in america will get similar results in europe. and if you think things are difficult when youre young, wait til youre old

vladiVP · 2025-02-13T16:19:07+00:00

See bro, thats where the problem is

justanother-eboy · 2025-02-13T18:06:35+00:00

Part of it is social media effecting them, part of it is just demographics.

Demographics are heavily skewed against men and in favor of women in the US. There are just more men in the 20s-40s demographic than there are women. Go to any bar in the US where young people go to and you’ll see. Also the census confirms this gender imbalance as well. It is what it is. It’s either leave the US and passport bro up or just operate on hard mode here lol.

But I agree with you nothing is more unattractive imo than entitled “starfish” behavior lol

juneburger · 2025-02-13T18:32:12+00:00

Women put forth no effort.

Only ugly women put forth effort.

What are you actually saying?

manyseveral · 2025-02-13T18:59:44+00:00

Honest answer? Most people here won't like this answer but it's the most honest answer I can give: They see you like a dog that wants to get in their pants because of these types of views that they 'make no effort' when in reality they are probably doing skin care, more hair care, maybe make up, a decent amount of them watching what they eat, way more than the average man, even if they aren't the standard of skinny that you like. Bear in mind that biologically, men should have a significantly lower body fat percentage than the average woman, but a lot of guys I see think it's normal to have more fat on them than the average woman. Plus in the modern day, even if they also work and have a full time job, the reality is most women are still going to be expected to do most of the chores and childcare, even when their husband/partner is also free and present. So the trade off tends to be men spend more money and pursue women because women, even working, feminist women, are expected to put more effort in in those other areas regardless of if they're independent/feminist. Sure they may not do 100% like a tradwife, but they will likely end up doing more than 50%, even if their husband doesn't earn that well/is out of a job. If you're around regular women thinking they're not skinny enough, not putting in enough effort and are unattractive, and the ones you find attractive you think are still not worth the effort of pursuing even though they put more effort in than men in other areas, then yeah I'd say move to Eastern Europe. The more developed parts of Europe won't have women that you like, but the poor countries might (no offense to them) since women in those countries are less encouraged to be intelligent and capable, and more encouraged to just focus on looks, cooking, cleaning and having kids, so idk maybe that's appealing to you.

Also unless you're trying to date a man, other men's opinion alone on how sexually attractive you are isn't going to help you or be an accurate reflection of your attractiveness. If you're trying to date women, women's opinion on how sexually attractive you are is going to be the more accurate one. The guys thinking you are sexually attractive won't help you gauge what's attractive to women. The only thing it will really tell you is what is attractive to other men, and that men and women might have different opinions on what is sexually attractive in a man. Knowing what's sexually attractive to other men in a man is only going to help you if you're trying to get the sexual interest of other men.

-nuuk- · 2025-02-13T19:27:55+00:00

So, reading this, I think you're making the same fatal mistake that a lot of men do. You're looking at the facts, not the emotions. Women want a man who can -lead- them emotionally. They -want- to want someone. But to do that you've gotta turn them on. Everything else is just an excuse for them to either justify to themselves and their social group why they're either staying with you or leaving you. What you've given them is more reasons to stay with you, which is great, but it doesn't sound like you're giving them a reason to -start- with you. Once you have decent hygiene and are okay looking, it's not as much about the physical game as it is the mental game.

No-Wolverine7793 · 2025-02-13T09:16:58+00:00

And why they should they

FromTheCaveIntoLight · 2025-02-13T15:34:18+00:00

Hoeflation on the rise and been speedrunning for the better part of a decade.

Commercial_World_433 · 2025-02-13T11:13:06+00:00

To filter out some of the women who're nothing but a pretty face, ask them this question he asks a minute into the video.

https://youtu.be/uK-tT5LlsWo?si=Kd_VmYLN3zPqjKoF

Additionally, ask yourself if she were gone, what would you really miss? And if the answer is either nothing or sex, move on to a different girl.

Badguy60 · 2025-02-13T06:10:46+00:00

Once you approve yourself physically and learn people skills, there's nothing else you can do. And this is coming from a guy does way better than he's league

Title	Women put no effort
Author	6372818949
Upvotes	67
Comments	72
Date	February 13, 2025 5:42 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ioc9ay/women_put_no_effort/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/women-put-no-effort.1543736 https://theredarchive.com/post/1543736

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