This hurts

organicwilly · 2024-05-29T16:19:48+00:00

Be very careful about being vulnerable too soon. I'm still not divorced and had a fling/relationship which ended up going south and it made everything absolutely worse.

BorderPure6939 · 2024-05-28T02:33:17+00:00

Take some time to process this brother. Don't push away any emotions. Feel all of them, journal, talk to friends and definitely find a therapist to talk to.

Learn about the emotional freedom technique (tapping)

Spend time in nature

Drink plenty water

Go work out

Get plenty sleep

Give yourself a minimum 6 months to a year without dating and get your self in order. Universe works in interesting ways and everything will be ok.

As for right now, it sucks. Do what ever you need to feel even 1% better each day

rhett342 · 2024-05-27T05:16:00+00:00

This guy dated a married woman. You deserve whatever you get when you do that. Let those 2 losers have each other and wreck each other's lives. What those two do is none of your concern. Move on, brother, and build the life you'd never be able to have with her around.

GRaneday · 2024-05-26T18:48:00+00:00

She most likely is always done that and will continue to each person. I’m sorry

brightongulls · 2024-05-26T06:22:53+00:00

Another reason to stay single forever and trust no one. My ex-wife did that to me. We have kids. She’s blown through so many guys since and Ive been happily single for 2.5 years now. Honestly time helps more than anything. Stay busy, set goals. Make positive changes in your life.

No-Marsupial1823 · 2024-05-26T02:55:14+00:00

Unfortunately you have to find a way to move on. It’s not worth it to make a big fuss about this. I know it hurts but it shows her, and everyone that you’re still hurting and that you still want her because you’re checking up on her. I know it’s still a very fresh wound but for your own sanity try to let it go and find you another woman.

Sthompson1965 · 2024-05-26T01:04:55+00:00

It isn’t you it’s her, move on

Jigglytep · 2024-05-25T21:31:28+00:00

Well if history is any indicator they will divorce in August.

If you don’t have kids together why do you know this information? What good can come from talking to her? Move on!

Newdustinyork · 2024-05-25T20:41:32+00:00

They are heartless. It's awful. Same boat. Best of luck.

krazykanuck · 2024-05-25T18:14:24+00:00

This is an exercise I have been suggesting a lot on here because it really works: Take your situation, and pretend instead of you she did this to, it's your best friend. This person just did this to your best friend. What advice would you give your best friend in this situation?

Aggravating-Sun-9944 · 2024-05-25T17:47:17+00:00

I am jealous that you only gave her a small chuck of your life. My wife cheated after we had been together 10 years/ married for 8. Count your blessings there and let it go.

Edit:typo

Strict-Front-2375 · 2024-05-25T14:46:00+00:00

Doing a deep dive on multiple divorce stats, the most accurate when asking both sides of a divorce what happened, 57% of men said they were cheated on.

I think it's even higher, as much like you, we all here think our wife wasn't cheating when she suddenly changes how she acts towards us.

When it reality, the only realistic reason for that behavior is cheating. But society tells us that's not true, and we don't want it to be true, so we end up like you, and get blindsided.

Got me too, my wife got engaged and the timeframe shows the whole time she 'wanted space to think about us' meant she was bangign other dudes

MindfulKid · 2024-05-25T14:34:54+00:00

1) give yourself time to rest and contact significant ones. 2) talk of this as much as you want but have in mind that you will be able to surpass this hell. 3) like others said: you didn’t dodge a bullet; you dodged a fucking army. 4) don you ever think you deserved this.

No_Investigator3353 · 2024-05-25T14:09:09+00:00

Move on brah..u dodged a blackhole that would of consumed u in every facet of life..could u imagine after 1 year finding out she's been cheating since that date..that would of been more devastating...good Luck and stay single, enjoy it from someone that's been married twice and missed out on single life adventures

Practical-Island-436 · 2024-05-25T13:43:55+00:00

Dude she got married divorce and remarried all within the timespan of a year? You dodged a bullet man she's a trainwreck

BettyBeltway · 2024-05-25T13:41:00+00:00

You can move on by realizing she is a complete idiot but outing herself by mistake or if she disclosed the first date purposely- a freaking sociopath. Maybe both. You should be thanking God every day you did not have children with this woman. You’re young and there is plenty of time for you to meet an emotionally mature, kind, loving human.

panfriedaswell · 2024-05-25T12:12:33+00:00

She cheated with him. He is not your concern. Find a therapist that specializes in infidelity. Exercise a lot.

You had no children, you have no alimony. You are free to pursue whatever interests you want

rsmiley77 · 2024-05-25T12:11:51+00:00

1) stop going through her stuff…

2) you’re probably not the only one that noticed that.

She sounds like a train wreck. You got lucky.

Mymindisgone217 · 2024-05-25T12:10:28+00:00

Well, think back to when you had been dating her. Would your mind have let you see what you know now, even with someone trying to tell you? Or would you have just seen it as the ex trying to mess things up between you and her?

I know that you want to be able to say that you would be able to think about it logically and allow yourself to see similarities with your situation and what the ex was put through, but most likely you wouldn't have been willing to accept that then. We all tend to allow ourselves to be blind at times because we are hopeful for something better to come of it down the road.

Several-Eagle4141 · 2024-05-25T11:54:48+00:00

Dodged a bullet has a definition.

New_suite · 2024-05-25T11:31:56+00:00

Seems like you won to me. Shes that dude problem now.

danpier8 · 2024-05-25T10:36:36+00:00

I understand you bro. The bright dide though you dont have a kid with her, or having 2milion assets in half after 30 years

Title	This hurts
Author	BriefConcentrate1580
Upvotes	29
Comments	37
Date	May 25, 2024 7:22 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1d06jei/this_hurts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/this-hurts.1519476 https://theredarchive.com/post/1519476

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