Romantic Relationships with men are poor investments of time, energy and money for women

level_up_always · 2020-12-11T19:31:32+00:00

Colleagues who are also friends are the most important investment.

Children are a responsibility.

Family is a responsibility.

Random romantic interests are a drain, accepted for quick highs that do not last, and often end up causing more damage than they are worth.

2020-12-11T20:31:52+00:00

I get your point but I don't fully agree. Relationships with LVM are definitely a big no no. But if you manage to find HVM then you dont even have to invest, he'll invenst in you. The problem isn't relationships, the problem is that HVM are few and far between.

LevelTurbulent · 2020-12-11T19:35:09+00:00

Yes, they often are a poor investment. At the very least, a boyfriend or husband should be a friend. That's like bare minimum, they should at least be as valuable as a good friend but many of them are not. And we're trained to tolerate it. It's insane and it has to stop.

chasingastarl1ght · 2020-12-11T20:21:05+00:00

So far this guy has been a proper investment for me. I would have been stuck indoor in lockdown all summer - but with him I had access to a nice boat, large cabin with fireplace by the water, visiting vineyards, etc. Plus a few spa trips, nice restaurants, wine selection definitely got upgraded, all that on his money. I've never ate out, shoppped and got out of the city so much and yet I've saved so much money (used it to take large chunks out on my student debts). He provided companionship, good sex, massages and emotional support ). He's also driving me everywhere which has kept me safe from taking public transportation in a pandemic.

(My exes w're not worth the salt of the tears I cried for them, so it's definitely related to the man). High value men provide value, you gotta be ruthless about your dating partner.

CountingDownTheDays5 · 2020-12-11T19:34:16+00:00

I would say this if you are picking the correct man the investment is not poor at all. Relationships should not happen if a LVM is involved nor should children, home ownership, or marriage. HVM are great investments, the biggest issue is they are rare.

kycake · 2020-12-11T21:22:13+00:00

i agree with all of what u said except children. u shouldn’t expect kids to help u upkeep the house or to help raise younger children.

level_up_always · 2020-12-11T21:41:49+00:00

mens usefulness boils down to financial and being a protection racket for women. i don't expect anything else from them and even the first two are easily replaced. men aren't capable of romance they do it to please you but they don't actually care or feel the squishy feelings we do. i'm focusing on being more romantic with myself and its much more fulfilling.

DV_throwaway19675 · 2020-12-11T21:17:35+00:00

Friends: Someone to have your back, again, mutual support for this business called life.

I actually am afraid of dating male friends becuase I believe they'll start acting like how I've come to expect men to behave in relationships and I think it would be such a disappointment to lose a friend who was contributing positively to your life to a shitty relationship.

maserlaser · 2020-12-11T21:10:59+00:00

Husbands/boyfriend: ?????????? Most men take take take and give nothing in return.

Eh, what you are describing here is more about finding an awful partner than it is about men in general. One-sided relationship certainly can also happen with so-called friends, colleagues etc., just as much as they can happen in a romantic context with low value men. But that's the whole point, what makes a man low value is exactly the fact that they are not a clear and net plus to your life.

However, good relationships with a HVM can add tremendously to your life, like a friendship that goes so much further. I had a partner when I was in school who was simply fantastic to me, I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through some really tough times without their support. When I got on hard times, they were absolutely in my corner, helped me emotionally and financially and allowed me to get up on my feet again, no questions asked. Sadly we parted ways because of an unavoidable incompatibility, but I know men like him exist even if it's a struggle to find through the sea of LVM that unfortunately stands in the way...

_mooness · 2020-12-11T23:17:45+00:00

I can’t help but agree with you, I wish it wasn’t this way, but literally every single one of my ex boyfriends was just a money, time, and energy sink with little to no roi. Not worth the headache imo.

I’m bisexual and I have a girlfriend who I treat like a queen, and it’s definitely worth it. She is a better lover, partner, friend, and roommate than any man I’ve been with.

AcctJustForMe · 2020-12-11T23:03:31+00:00

Loving all the separatism I'm seeing lately on here ;-)

I have a good piece to read that I might post here later.

diorgasm · 2020-12-12T11:04:56+00:00

This speaks to me. Im chuckling at the visual of my dumbass pouring Voss water on astrotruf. In 2021 i will invest my paper money and my soul differently.

ferociouslycurious · 2020-12-11T21:39:22+00:00

Ugh. Husbands SO MUCH DRAIN. Mine was almost nothing but a drain, though he wasn’t a financial suck so at least there’s that. My teenager turned a corner a few months ago so I’m enjoying him again. My daughter is a preteen so we’re about to go through a painful phase.

DallasOMalley · 2020-12-12T02:51:56+00:00

I can only agree. I've never been in a relationship with a man where the benefits to me were actually worth all the time, energy, money, and overall trouble.

Breesasha · 2020-12-12T06:52:25+00:00

I think that it can be healthy and mutually beneficial if it's with a HWM. I've had one sided friendships and situations with colleagues that weren't healthy. It's safe to say anyone can be a waste of time if they aren't reciprocating the energy back. I want someone who is helpful, honest, trustworthy, etc

mtan15 · 2020-12-12T13:13:56+00:00

If you're having children to help you raise other children or tasking them to be your carer in old age, please don't have them. You're better off being with a lvm you can walk away from without responsibility

msromperstomper · 2020-12-12T17:16:54+00:00

There was a really interesting article in the Atlantic that asked the question "what if friendships, not relationships were at the center of life." (Someone else posted it here awhile ago). As a woman in my 40s, I and all my other women friends are here. We have each others backs, we support one another and cheer each other on. No one can understand the struggles that women go through like other women. I also professionally mentor young women, and I would advise them to realign their thinking to find a supportive group of friends for this journey through life. Yes, I would still like to find an HVM, but I think this is a far better strategy for happiness.https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/10/people-who-prioritize-friendship-over-romance/616779/

janatztxcxxx · 2020-12-11T19:58:12+00:00

I think if you were to marry someone, you should marry someone rich. Like how Jeff bezos’s ex got half of his money. There should be something you should reap.

Title	Romantic Relationships with men are poor investments of time, energy and money for women
Author	letsberealforamoment
Upvotes	252
Comments	45
Date	December 11, 2020 7:24 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kb9dsl/romantic_relationships_with_men_are_poor/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/romantic-relationships-with-men-are-poor.731689 https://theredarchive.com/post/731689

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