My mom and I were discussing workplace practices when the topic landed on dress codes. She was going on about how women are not allowed to wear sandals at some workplaces, and how much of a double standard that is to her. I pointed out that men are also faced with such dress codes, and cannot wear what they want either. I then told her that men face even more restrictions on what they can wear, such as being forced to wear a heavy suit, even in high temperature environments for some workplaces. She clung onto the fact that women had it worse in this department. I then replied by saying that women can wear both feminine and masculine attire, but men are only socially premised to wear "masculine" garb.

The conversation then devolved into mom asking "Why do you want to make this about gender?". I then stated that I had to because this was the nature of the discussion. Then she questioned "So you think that men are oppressed?" I said yes, there is data and evidence everywhere that proves this. Afterward, she interrupted me and started going on with "What about the fact that women are paid 3/4 for what men are?". I detailed that men work more and longer, don't take maternity leave, and take on more demanding jobs, leading to higher pay. She then said "That is a lie." At this point, she was starting to get mad.

I calmly explained that it is accounting for everything. Even then she was still saying that she did not believe me. I then explained that the wage gap has been debunked many times, but then she cut me off with the all too predictable: "Name one way that men are oppressed." I then rattled off at least eight things including: male conscription, homeless being overwhelmingly male, female on male DV being considered a joke, unfair sentencing for the same crime for men, police brutality: which targets men, women's health initiatives but there being none for men, etc... She then tried to victim blame men by saying that they somehow deserved it, because according to her: men are more dangerous and "women are the vulnerable gender."

I called her out on it stating that if these statistics were to target women, there would be unfathomable outrage. I also told her that it is direct evidence that men are the gender that is discriminated against. She was not hearing it, and started to raise her voice. "Do you know how much, I, a woman, have done for you?" "Why are you even defending men you do not know?" "If you lived as a woman, you would know how much we struggle." "Your time would be better spent focusing on something else, instead of the garbage you have been saying."

I then said that I stand by my word, and the evidence is on my side, and the fact that men are oppressed remains clear. She then yelled and said "If you bad mouth women one more time, I will kick you out, and you will be living in your car." and also asked me why I hate women. Keep in mind that I NEVER said anything remotely insulting about women, just pointed out how much men are disadvantaged in society. I explained the latter, and she replied with "I don't care, the fact that you are focusing on this means you have a really serious psychological problem." I didn't respond as I had already presented my case.

Now, I have a part time job, and I'm a college student. I pay for my own education (I have a full scholarship which covers all my tuition, plus I pay remaining college expenses: books, fee's.. etc), most of my food, pay her 375$ a month in "rent" to help out, and I pay for my car, and I also do everything I can to accommodate. I only have a year of studies left, so I can make it even if she makes true on the promise, because I can transition to full time and work on weekends and take morning classes. I have several take aways from this:

One, even though my mom has said that she is not a feminist, she is clearly in favor of misandric policies. This means that although the average woman may not identify herself as a feminist, she IS one. Because she supports misandry and female privilege. The average woman doesn't advocate for equal rights for men, but supports feminism which is a hate movement against men. Meaning, men cannot trust their mothers to have their back, as they will side with feminism, betraying their sons.

And two, mothers are not loyal to their sons. They say they love them, and support them unconditionally. But when the boxing gloves come on, their true resentment will be revealed. Mothers are women, and women have contempt for men. Therefore, it is given that a mother will drop her son in a heart beat if it conflicts with her privileged interests. It is inborn contempt as no matter how much a man does, the woman will still see him as a tool and will thus have resentment. This means mothers still see their sons as tools, not human beings.

Thirdly, the men's rights movement is not up against ignorance, rather malicious spite and hatred toward the male sex. People in this community love to frame the issue as one of ignorance. IT IS NOT. We are up against hateful people who want to disenfranchise us further, and defend our disenfranchisement at all cost. This is a war. And in war, you do not attempt to convince your enemy of your rightness. We have to fight ruthlessly to gain your rights back. Never give into any feminist wanting to debate or argue as it is just hateful gaslighting meant to maintain the status quo.

I have many more that I can list, but I have decided to stop here as this is long enough.

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