Male beauty standard is killing me.

ThePigmanAgain · 2021-12-17T09:24:57+00:00

Actually, what's really killing you is the fact that you give a shit about the standards. Shit on them instead and you will be much happier.

zogins · 2021-12-17T21:32:42+00:00

Right now on TV there are lots of adverts for men's cologne. All the male models are athletic, with perfect features and skin and the obligatory 6 pack.

We men have to understand that having a 6 pack is not a natural state of affairs. You have to have very low body fat. A friend of mine trained very hard for a photoshoot and the hardship that he had to go through was incredible. It involved being dehydrated and on a very weird diet during the last days of the schedule. He eventually collapsed.

Look at the bodies of men who are masculine and strong - stereotypes such as firefighters and builders. None have 6 packs.

No_Fap_is_My_Life · 2021-12-17T09:32:14+00:00

Man I literally saw similar 2-3 posts today on same topic and also i wrote a comment on the same topic, recessed skin, hair, clothes, muscles, HOW THE HELL SHALL I GET THEM !!! it's a whole pandemic at this point, both genders getting beauty standards to be followed or else they are ugly

Atleast girls can use makeup, we men have to get muscles, bruhhh I am so tired 😭

Fragmented79 · 2021-12-17T16:04:49+00:00

Don’t forget - men need to be at least 6’ tall and no signs of male pattern baldness.

PMmeyourlifeworries · 2021-12-17T13:43:16+00:00

Normalise deleting these shitty social apps.

MikeM678 · 2021-12-17T11:01:36+00:00

It's a good thing that you work out! As for the jawline problem, try to grow beard, it helps :)

CryingMadGirl · 2021-12-17T11:33:06+00:00

Even “plus size women” (fat women) wouldn’t dare a “fat guy”

They ever call fat women plus sizes but men are called fat. Also every male mannequin has “perfect body” but women have different types. It’s also always “your body is beautiful as it is” and then they show black fat women and white fat women and some who are just little overweight. But with men, it’s always “you can look whatever you want” and perfect shaped black dudes and perfect shaped white men who have scars or something. Obviously they can’t be white cishet men

socruisemebabe · 2021-12-17T12:23:26+00:00

Is this a joke? Work out for yourself. Take care of yourself for yourself.

Women like confident men. This attitude is only hurting your chances of dating someone who isn't a complete drain on you. Besides, most women over 25 care more about you having a job and a car and loving dogs more than they do your looks.

teh_chungus · 2021-12-17T10:13:43+00:00

just wait until you finally put on some muscle and hear a girl swoon about dad bods.

Like, bruh. My beer gut will come soon enough, can you apprechiate my lean physique while it lasts?

MrBulldops94 · 2021-12-17T10:56:00+00:00

Looks fade, my young friend. Don't get hung up on them. Just be your badass self and don't give a shit what other people think of how you look. Learn to love yourself and the confidence will follow.

matt_the_raisin · 2021-12-17T12:43:55+00:00

Tbh the more annoying thing to me is the continual rejection, mostly by women, that there is a standard. Like the gaslighting about saying it's men just men and their toxic something or other. Or just refusal that it even exists. I swear to God if I hear a woman tell me one more time "it must be great to be able to eat whatever you want, like you"...

Don't pay too much heed my dude. Women are broadly ignorant to what men go through right now so...most aren't going to appreciate your effort regardless of the outcome. And there will always be a hotter boy for them to look at.

bcapone27 · 2021-12-17T09:01:20+00:00

Yes - we finally have both genders completely insecure thanks to Social Media - women btw feel like this also all the Time. How old Are you though

Algiz56 · 2021-12-17T12:01:32+00:00

I hate Tiktok and instagram, There is too much competition In me

This is a problem. You are too into social standarts, or too vain.

For a real, beauty standart for a guy is not as much high as you think.

You need just a regular work out, be tidy and nice, pay a tad attention to what you wear and get a nice haircut. That is pretty much all.

What is really hard to replicate is a personality. It takes much more work to form a conversation style and interesting character, that will lead you to your goal.

mistralol · 2021-12-17T10:44:33+00:00

Actually the body is a complicated thing. You see the guy with a 6 pack and a bunch of muscles? Mostly uses in a lot of enviroments. Take them into a cold weather enviroment and see how well they do with their 6% body fat for example..... yeah they are freezing cold all the time.....

eg have a read at this https://www.mensjournal.com/health-fitness/15-negative-effects-having-low-body-fat-percentage/

It ranges from low energy, low stamina, muscles are actually weaker more prone to breaking / tearing, get sick more, bad mood, brain fog (cause your starving effectivly)

Body building.... Its like the male version of being anorexic.....

Anything in its extreme is normally a bad idea.......

| I hate Tiktok and instagram

Tried uninstalling them yet? Serious the apps are trash. Take a step back and actually think. What do I actually get out of these apps? Do the same thing with other apps like online dating as well suddenly you will figure out that 60% of the population doesn't use them at all because they are shit.

Tictok - Actual users in USA. 37% in a month. 18% use it per day. You think they are the people actually getting shit done in their life?

majestic_tapir · 2021-12-17T12:54:07+00:00

My dude, one of the biggest things you can do is to care about what matters to you, not how people around you perceive you.

Focus on yourself, focus on self-improvement. Work out if you want it for confidence, but that's not all life is about. Self improvement comes about in a thousand small different ways, but I can go ahead and tell you right now that very few committed relationships have continued because both the man and the woman are gorgeous. Beauty standards are massively unattainable for men and women, we compare ourselves to the 0.1% because that's what we're bombarded with, but no one with half a brain expects you to look like the 0.1%. Just be yourself, or be the best version of yourself, and the rest will just come along nicely.

Liberal_On_Guns · 2021-12-17T16:37:02+00:00

So I can offer some advice here. Yes, be comfortable in your skin, but I'm not going to lie: We all want to be more conventionally attractive. It's in reach, my friend! Just be patient.

Cut bodyfat %. Men typically carry our weight in our face. It's bullshit I know. But most guys struggling with their face/jaw would benefit from a SAFE AND EFFECTIVE cut down' to about 10-12% bodyfat. That face fat hides that beautiful facial structure, and there's nothing unattainable about 10-12% for most guys.
Mewing works. Bolas chewing too. They're protocols from Dr. Mike Mew. Just look into it and determine if this is something you'll benefit from. And if you aren't already, do nasal breathing. When you do your cardio, only breathe through your nose.
Facial hair. Grow out your beard. Oh, what's that? You can't grow a thick beard? Well head on over to /r/minoxbeards and fix your face! It can make your facial appear more symmetrical, or cover up your jawline if it's truly unsalvageable. Microneedling combined with minoxidil treatment has been shown to very effectively reverse hair loss, so I assume that combination would work on the face as well, but I haven't seen a lot on microneedling+minox for facial hair, only the head.
Now, you can also look into facial contouring devices, but I honestly don't know anything about it. I have been meaning to do some research into it's effectiveness. There's also that Jawzercise ball. I've heard anecdotally that it might be useful, but it sure looks dumb.

the-first12 · 2021-12-17T17:59:45+00:00

Meanwhile if you, as a man, admit you’re not attracted to a morbidly obese woman you are a misogynistic fat shamer.

iamjesus1991 · 2021-12-21T09:42:24+00:00

Male beauty standards are insanely unrealistic. Be at least 6 foot, at least 6-7 inches and girthy minimum, have a 6 pack, have a strong jawline, have a good head of hair, be muscular i.e. need steroids, have big hands and wide shoulders, have an attractive Chad face, have some body hair but not much... It goes on and on.

diobreads · 2021-12-17T09:51:42+00:00

just natural selection doing it's thing , you can't blame them. back then it was about finding the best provider for your offspring to ensure their success in reproduction. now women being their own providers, the most desirable trait became looks . If every woman only cares about looks , it's simply more advantageous to only have children with good looking man. since the more good-looking the offsprings are , the easier they could reproduce.

Smuggred · 2021-12-17T11:50:00+00:00

glad im gay

ThrillaDaGuerilla · 2021-12-17T14:03:50+00:00

I almost always advise people to become the best version of themselves they can possibly be.

I do not advise them to become the best version of what society thinks they should be.

Societal standards are a lot like communism....sounds great on paper, but completely unrealistic in the real world.

Be healthy, be fit, be confident in yourself, and have a mission (whatever passion or interest you're into)....that stuff is a million times better than having that chiseled chin or sculpted Greek god body.

Sure, shallow people will disagree on some level....but quality individuals will not. Show shallow people to the door.

I'm in my mid 50's now...and I can look back to my 20's and just cringe....I was worried about my body/looks/fashion/etc fitting fickle societal standards. What an absolute waste of time that was.

The people who stuck around my whole life didn't hold me to those standards...and the ones who did, well, they didn't last as friends...as shallow people usually do, they fell by the wayside.

ManofGod1000 · 2021-12-17T14:13:53+00:00

Yep, I am working out to become more bulked up top and it is showing. However, I will never be 6 ft tall, look like a Greek god in my face or have a 6 pack. It can be a challenge to not be a victim in my mind but a victor but, that means what I am doing will have to be for me.

It has been a couple of decades since I put myself out there and things have changed quite a bit. In my 20's, I did not have as many issues getting a woman, although I thought I did and never understood why some women where attracted to me. Now, I am learning and actively putting myself out there but, if there any open doors, I have not seen them.

Lyynt · 2021-12-17T12:07:57+00:00

This actually isn’t as true as you’d think. You can win a LOT of females over by having a nice personality. In fact, you’ll find girls tend to have lower standards than a lot of guys. How often do you see 10s dating 5s? More common than most would like to admit. Just work on your confidence and the rest will work out. Besides, if you’re looking for a girl who only wants a dude with a massive bank account and ripped body, do you really wanna be with her bro?

Jimmy5772 · 2021-12-17T19:22:31+00:00

It’s just another double standard my freind. In all womens clothes, perfume, underwear adverts the focus is always on advertising different body shapes. In fact most if them seem to advocate obese women nowadays. Seems to be the “in” thing to tell young women its Ok to be obese.

However, when it comes to men. All adverts still showing the toned, physicaly ideal male specimins which you talk of!

riverview_man · 2021-12-17T12:06:26+00:00

You don't need to look like Hercules to get a girl. Just do your best to be your best you and go from there.

hatefulreason · 2021-12-17T11:02:09+00:00

if men were a clone of a single guy, women would still find something to cling to, they only want the best. be it job, popularity, scars, hobbies, anything. you wonder why average pub guitar players get women, then the same women complain about marrying a guy who won't unclog the toilet ? he's a guitar player, his hands are not made for unclogging toilets, either respect him for who he is or gtfo

jonnyhaldane · 2021-12-17T13:42:40+00:00

You are basing your fears on what you see on….Instagram and TikTok?

That’s not real life dude.

I am twice your age and let me tell you, I have had plenty of friends who spent their free time in the gym getting jacked. I don’t think any of them did better with the opposite sex than the average person does.

I think what makes men attractive is living an authentic life. Being honest with yourself and pursuing what’s meaningful and worthwhile to you.

Doing things just to meet other peoples’ expectations is the opposite of living authentically. If you want to work out, do it because you care about your health and want to feel good. That’s all.

heeroena · 2021-12-17T14:51:43+00:00

get of toxic and addictive social media (IG, tiktok etc) Lots of it is fake posturing to get likes and subscribers. Keep going to the gym and train consistently. You will see progress and you have nothing to prove to anyone. If this is not enough I would suggest getting some psychological counseling to get over some possible trauma you might have

EstablishmentKooky50 · 2021-12-17T15:03:56+00:00

Don't do this to yourself... Looking good does not hurt, it's true, but it does not matter nearly as much as many would think. You don't have to have a chiseled jawline or a ripped body. Most women are ok with you not being fat and having a slight resemblance of a manly body shape. For the women you do want in your life, it's much more important how you make them feel then how you look. Do pay attention to grooming and how you dress though, chose a hair style and facial hair that suits you. Forget about social media and OLD. Women have nothing to select for there but looks, of course they will chose the best looking dudes. Turn off your computer and get out in the real world man, join to groups, make friends, learn martial arts, learn to dance, do stuff, do keep working out, socialize, work on your communication skills, be authentic, set goals and work for them relentlessly, win and lose competitions, work up your self esteem, don't simp under any condition, learn some good jokes, be laid back and don't be full of anxiety, BE ON YOUR OWN PURPOSE, and don't give a shit about having a gf until you are confident and happy with your own life, all this will give you the most important thing you need in dating: confidence. Till then, just pay for sex if you must.

_Last_Man_Standing_ · 2021-12-17T15:16:23+00:00

bro...
It's not the "beauty standards" (shitty social constructivist myth)

It's now our species works...
It's not fair, but it is ~2 million years of evolution.
The fact is that we have twice as many female ancestors than male ancestors.
Meaning if ~80% of women managed to reproduce before death.
Half as many men managed to do the same or ~40%.

Meaning ~60% of men didn't get an offspring.
It's not fair, but it's the reason why our species changed more than chimpanzees since our last common ancestor.

Is what it is. It's not going to change.
You gotta learn how to deal with it.

Lift and work on yourself and you'll do fine.
Don't compete against other men.... Compete against yourself.

shru_Kay · 2021-12-17T15:22:32+00:00

Get off of SM in general, it's a bloody waste of your time unless it's part of your business.(content creator/marketer, even then use it strictly for business purposes)
Being competitive is good but, here's the competition for you: can you compete with the compulsion in your brain and control it rather than letting it control you?
The only person you need to compete against is yourself from yesterday.
Being at peace from within is key to emit confidence and comfort irrespective of what world throws at you.
Meet people of opposite gender on equal terms, no need to pedestalise them, they have their struggles and imperfections just like you do, it's just that you don't know them as good as you know yourself.

Be happy man, love yourself and your family members. Nothing else is worth killing yourself for or ruining your mental health over.

manbro7 · 2021-12-17T16:54:57+00:00

I have a handsome face with great jaw and green eyes. It won't save you. I got compliments or looks some/most parts of my life and my gay friend said I was a 6/10 because height.

The personality part was bullshit too, because it only increases your chances from 0 to 1 in 20 people having a romantic interest in you. The very few won't stay either.

There is a reason why every single dating profile starts with "no 6ft below may apply" or why every single generation of tiktokers type the same captions in unison, as follows "when he's 6ft, tall, dark ..."

And there's threads of women wishing death on short guys or asking why do they exist. You become invisible and disgusting, and girls gossip behind your back in streets about your height thinking you don't hear then. "Below 6ft can die" exists everywhere I go and I read shit like "can't decide if he's cute or just tall" my entire life. The people in the streets are thinking and saying the same things you see online, they're just not walking up to tell you those. The biggest flaw is one you're born with, apparently.

veiakas · 2021-12-17T10:47:30+00:00

You don't NEED any of it.

It helps when you were born into a wealthy family, or when you have a strong jawline from good genes... But you are here. So your genes also found a way to come into existence. (so if your parents for laid and made you, so can you)

Just be charming and have a few good jokes up your sleeve. Fake yourself being confident, until you start believing it and everything else will fall into place.

And going to the gym is never a bad idea for a man, for a multitude of reasons. You can be a gamer, a geek and still hit the gym, and literally nobody will look down at you.

Asking for advice and help online or in person is healthy and everyone should do it. But complaining about the unfairness of life just breeds misery.

Svenskbtch · 2021-12-17T14:00:50+00:00

Feminists have fought hard against the (exaggerated, but then all activists of all stripes exaggerate) oppressive nature of beauty standards. While it is of course silly to go as far as to celebrate obesity, we men should take a moderate bit of inspiration from that.

Though I think for men the oppressive nature is a bit less about physical beauty and much more about prowess, right? I see many beautiful women with mediocre-looking but successful men; but almost never the other way around.

Cyrus_the_Great98 · 2021-12-17T14:48:47+00:00

You'll get there man 💪

Buy I will tell you this: making your voice deep will go a lot farther than a good body

Bullet_Pyrope · 2021-12-17T15:05:28+00:00

I mean, there are plenty ways to work around this, you coud grow a beard and trim it so that it gives the illusion of a strong jawline, although if I remember correctly a marked jawline is related to mouth and togue posture so if you cant grow a beard maybe you are able to do something, also try to better your posture in general, a bad posture is hardly unnoticeable

Jholmes1023 · 2021-12-17T15:13:38+00:00

Don’t forget about the zoomer hairstyle where you perm your bangs

Gcarney17 · 2021-12-17T15:33:06+00:00

You gotta stop using tik tok and Instagram. It’s nothing but cancer.

DaTechNegro · 2021-12-17T16:32:04+00:00

Bro if you’re American most people are fat lol you just have to be better than most American men which isn’t hard and just talk to cute girls you see in person. I deleted my social media 6 years ago because it was changing the way I looked at regular women.

pamlu_chacha · 2021-12-17T17:07:47+00:00

It's a issue in general, social media sets insane beauty standards for both men and women. I never really cares about it but I see my girlfriend struggle everyday and even getting upset over comparing tiny details on her body.

Full_Midnight4749 · 2021-12-17T17:29:36+00:00

As long as you do not get sucked into the propaganda your be fine

seeyeay · 2021-12-17T18:24:51+00:00

None of this is an issue if you dont revolve your life around women and being validated by shallow pursuits. Its really that simple, stop being so thirsty.

Rex9 · 2021-12-17T18:37:18+00:00

The answer is get fit. Don't worry about muscles. Being in shape brings confidence in your physical ability. That helps your brain/mind with confidence in other areas. Women aren't as obsessed with male looks as the Internet would have you believe. Social media is cancer.

Quit worrying and be happy with yourself. It can take a couple of years. The rest will settle itself.

Academic_Ninja_9242 · 2021-12-17T19:08:10+00:00

female here. anytime i met a guy with all of those attributes you mentioned, they either had a bad personality/shitty attitude or weren't that bright. just stay healthy and do you !

Led-Rain · 2021-12-17T20:02:13+00:00

Same dude. I got too much of a murder face. Hair every but where it matters most. Huge body at 6'3 and overweight but I can probably lose the fat in a year or less. All I hear women talk about is how "cute" a guy is. I'm not ever going to be cute. Where's the women who like the big strong murderous viking look?

chocolatecows88 · 2021-12-17T22:07:58+00:00

As someone with the jawline of a circle, you got this my guy! I just started working out this week to bulk up and just feel more comfortable in my own body!

42nanaimobars · 2021-12-17T22:47:29+00:00

Not gonna lie, Ken looks creepy.

j0k3ricu · 2021-12-17T22:52:43+00:00

Women's beauty is RNG, with make buffs. Men's beauty is RNG with Very low probability, but we can level up in several way gym, money, personality and popularity. So concentrate on what you can.

Xavierkill22 · 2021-12-18T03:03:27+00:00

Thank you latin and Turkish genetics. I can change my look by cutting my beard, mustache, and changing hats. One day I look Spaniard, the next I look like an Indian, and the next I look like a Mexican begging for citizenship.

cheesecake-81 · 2021-12-18T03:27:15+00:00

Only fitness I'm worried about is... Fitness whole pizza in my gut.

Fuck society, my woman thinks I'm I'm as sexy as I know I am.

Because confidence is ten times sexier than any physical appearance. I turn my wife on by fixing a damn faucet or framing a wall, backing a trailer etc better than whatever pretty boy can. He may look good but can he build a fire or fix a car? Those are boys. Be a man dammit!

ashley5894 · 2021-12-18T04:09:12+00:00

Fuck the standards. No one on tiktok and Instagram actually look like that in real life. People love filters. That's one thing I kindve think about often. Like when you really think about it do any of those people actually look like real people you see in public? Not really. Fuck if people started having faces like the filters on snapchat and tiktok and shit I'd be a little freaked out. Don't feel like you have to compete. If someone really cares about you a Greek God body isn't gonna be expected. Not everyone wants someone who looks like a Ken doll.

xTheVyrusx · 2021-12-18T04:45:03+00:00

Take a look at the multi-billion dollar fakeup industry and you’ll see the double standard.

Insidious-Sid · 2021-12-18T05:11:19+00:00

Frumpy overweight women using easy sex and ample blowjobs to get lazy fit men to plod along with them look ridiculous.

Everybody knows she's being a compliant dick-sucking slut to compensate for her lack of RMV.

But that's okay. Whatever it takes for her to get a high RMV man on her arm. He'll never COMMIT to her average/below average self. And that's okay.

She can continue to live in denial and just say "all men" (the high value men she is trying to dupe) are assholes.

It's okay. We know what she is doing and what the fuckboys are getting out of the deal.

Alpha-_-Wolf · 2021-12-18T08:05:11+00:00

When you stop caring about what others think about you and actually work on yourself for the sake of yourself, things will seem much better. You see, the women who seek out the "perfect bodies" are the ones you should actively avoid.

Embrace originality. Hit the gym, but for yourself. Don't go to the gym to get a so-and-so body so that you can attract a woman. That's not what the gym is for. The gym is a place where you can be healthy and release stress, while at the same time developing a healthy body and a healthy mindset. Don't take steroids. Sun your body at least an hour a day.

Those who say men NEED to have so-and-so attributes are usually the ones who have the most "fake" demeanor you can ever find. Fake lips, fake eyelashes, fake this, fake that.

In a world full of people who chase fake stuff, be original. You'll eventually attract the right kind of people into your life. Don't worry about the others, they will attract that which they vibrate for.

Jemtex · 2021-12-18T11:49:46+00:00

well you have to wait until genetic engineering comes in tbh

__the_ghost__ · 2021-12-18T13:16:54+00:00

As someone who works out a lot. If your gonna do it Don't do it for others do it for yourself. It's not about comparing yourselves to others its about your own progress, no one else's.

And with the face thing, you might not have rolled genetic d20 but that doesn't matter. You just have to accept it and learn to live with it, trust me its way better for you than comparing yourself to others or lying to yourself.

redpills1 · 2021-12-18T13:50:57+00:00

You need to understand that this isn't a "beauty standard" at all, this is a manliness standard and in fact it is totally justified because being muscular with wide jaws does makes you look manly. The problem isn't in this "beauty standard" but with men who want to be and look "manly" despite the fact that it basically means looking ugly but strong and capable of being the provider and protector of the woman.

Men need to get free of their traditional roles and understand that "manliness" only keeps them down and keeps them as nothing but slaves with no real value other than being useful slaves for the woman and prevent them from being truly attractive which basically mean looking more feminine.

AdAcademic4290 · 2021-12-21T13:18:35+00:00

Huge advantages to dating short guys. You don't spend your dates staring up their nostrils. You get to share clothes (with permission). Which can be economical and fun, you get to gaze lovingly into each others eyes while slow dancing. You don't get a crick in your neck whilst kissing. You don't have to adjust the car seat. If you're pregnant, you don't have to worry so much about the baby bursting out of your body like in Aliens...

Diomil · 2021-12-17T13:43:35+00:00

Brother, we shouldn't complain about beauty standards, no one should care about them, there's a million women out there who would kill to be with someone who looks like you, forget everybody else.

NoNinja5632 · 2021-12-17T14:36:15+00:00

Sounds like the quality of women you’re after is the question.

dbh192 · 2021-12-17T15:11:45+00:00

social media is poison , stay off that and talk to girls you see arund town. No one in their right mind is looking for tik tok stars.

venom9110 · 2021-12-17T15:41:01+00:00

What are you talking about I see women hooking up with ugly guys all the time. Just have charisma, works for both men & women.

CoNoelC · 2021-12-17T18:08:49+00:00

I slay without any of those things. The biggest difference between those who are good with girls and those who aren’t - making a move. Anyone can send a creepy msg online, but you would be surprised how rare it is for these super hot girls to get hit on in real life. Dudes are pussies.

Starmind0 · 2021-12-18T08:53:52+00:00

No, don't be "better than them", instead support each other. Appearance is nothing compared to people's actual well being and value. Love yourself.

Title	Male beauty standard is killing me.
Author	Timely-Insurance-256
Upvotes	231
Comments	157
Date	December 17, 2021 8:51 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/rid84p/male_beauty_standard_is_killing_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/male-beauty-standard-is-killing-me.1092002 https://theredarchive.com/post/1092002

Comments