My coworker I liked rejected my kiss.

seduction-ModTeam · 2024-07-20T02:12:44+00:00

This post had to be taken down because it appears to be focused on a specific situation or person. While Field Reports deal with specific situations and people, remember that the focus is different:

A field report explains a lesson learned or demonstrates a Seduction concept.
If the point of this post is asking how to get that specific girl, it is out of bounds except in a Basic Questions Thread.

No worries though! Though the thread has been taken down, any conversations you have started here can still continue, and if you want to PM a mod to get their opinion on this thread, feel free to do so and they will still be able to weigh in.

For next time, remember that posts about a specific situational advice with a specific person belong in a Basic Questions Thread. (Currently these are on hiatus, but if we can get them back up, they'll happen weekly.)

abhiz123 · 2024-07-19T18:41:03+00:00

Girls use idk to subtly say no.

Prestigious_Wait3813 · 2024-07-19T18:45:20+00:00

She gave you her answer and you didn’t like that so you tried to kiss her? You can’t seduce everyone, if she doesn’t want it, she doesn’t want it.

IAteACake · 2024-07-19T19:20:39+00:00

jfc that poor girl you are a bonafide creep. if this is actually real my god

MO_drps_knwldg · 2024-07-19T18:49:33+00:00

The grand confession of feelings never works. Being incrementally flirtatious and playful works better. You were in a needy weak frame, after she rejected you. You got pouty and were looking for sympathy pussy. It doesn’t work that way.

You should have just let it be, dropped her off and then distanced yourself. Focus on the next phase of your life and what you can do to attract women there. She knew you liked her, but wanted attention and validation and enjoyed what she was getting from you.

Take this as a lesson not to chase, to escalate more smoothly, and not be in weak frame.

Djangomeister · 2024-07-19T18:49:36+00:00

You kept putting pressure when she was giving signs of rejection left and right lol

Careful-House6328 · 2024-07-19T18:40:44+00:00

One of the creepiest things I’ve ever read here

Accomplished_Fold_95 · 2024-07-19T19:32:11+00:00

Apologize to her is what you should be doing tomorrow. You said this is your first attempt ever at kissing a girl. You sound desperate, you likely are. Right off the bat, that’s a huge turn off to women. It sounds like you focused too much on how she would touch you. Sometimes people are just like that, doesn’t 100% mean that she was interested in you.

When she responded with saying she thought you were joking; that was likely a soft reject. You may be socially dumb (I am too, not hate) where you believed her at face value instead of reading between the lines. It is hard to read between the lines when you don’t see them.

When she said I like you AS A FRIEND that’s where you should have dropped it, Apologized to her and moved on. But you continued…you told her to rethink her decision to see/like you as a friend, brother…she already gave you 3 hints she’s not interested in you, yet you give her room to reevaluate her decision of not being interested in you. At this point, she’s thoroughly uncomfortable.

You cornered her in an empty parking lot, where she’s in your car, and you ask her if she’s rethought her answer when she had already decided. Everyone makes mistakes but damn you fumbled hard. The lack of self awareness is astounding. Don’t ever, EVER make a move on someone who is so obviously not interested in you.

There’s also a couple power dynamics going on, she seems very meek and soft spoken because she didn’t straight up give you an answer of no. Some people have a hard time saying no to others in their lives due to either fear or worrying about upsetting others. But you’re a man, she’s a woman, already there’s a power dynamic there. Some women are scared of rejecting men, because some men are fucking psychos who don’t take no for an answer and can do anything as small and uncomfortable as this situation, all the way up to rape. Just because of rejection, so yeah women be like that because men be like that. You’ve brought her alone to a parking lot that is empty, (huge red flags for a woman) and tried to kiss her. 🤦‍♂️ the other power dynamic is that you are giving her a ride from work to home. She was likely scared to upset you with her rejection, and may have been scared of your retaliation, leading her to not give you a direct answer.

This sounds like a prologue to a rapists confession.

You’re coming off as a really weird dude because you don’t seem to understand social dynamics and stuff like that. My advice is to get off this subreddit, half these stories are fake, and the other half are pathetic. This sub gives off ALPHA MALE vibes and it’s super cringe. Get a haircut, brush your teeth, wash yourself regularly, groom well, and get off the internet. Talk to women and be yourself. If they show a sign that may allude to them not being interested, they probably aren’t.

You don’t sound like a bad guy, you just sound like a young man who’s confused on how to talk to women. Who isn’t when you’re young?! The way that people grow and realize the right thing to do, is by having experiences like this. My hope is that you’ll realize how cringey and incel - vibes you were, learn to take hints, and move on!

Lightning_zolt · 2024-07-19T20:00:02+00:00

Today while dropping her off she told me she was not feeling well, but I wanted to know the answer I took her to an abandoned parking lot and asked her what was her “answer”, yes or no? To which she replied I don’t know while being really closed off (moving to the corner of the car and closing her arm)

Just reread what you wrote and consider how creepy aggressive you are. She feels bad and wants to go home, you don’t let her (that’s already nuts), instead take her to an abandoned parking lot (an area where she couldn’t easy get out and run into somewhere). With limited easy options, she's stuck there in your car and she’s then backing into a corner.

This is your version of the story and you sound like a psycho.

You best bet is to apologize and try to convince her you’re just awkward as fuck and not a complete psycho. It’s probably too late for anything with her, your main goal now is trying to mitigate what she'll tell others at work.

Mustard_king26 · 2024-07-19T19:15:38+00:00

You’re going to deep brother and being too much. Gauge the situation.

drewster23 · 2024-07-19T18:41:25+00:00

I started the car and said thank you I got my answer. I got really sad and then she asked me why I was so sad, so I told her that I really thought that we would kiss before I leave, to which she replied “do you think I am that kinda women who’ll kiss anyone” I told her no I don’t want her for just hookups

You're leaving the country bro...so how would it not be this lol.

To answer your question You act normal tomorrow like nothing happened. You got your answer. Now suck it up.

d4n0wnz · 2024-07-19T19:15:46+00:00

You are in the friendzone and she is clearly not interested. It may be because of the way you carry yourself everyday. Acting childish after rejection and displaying yourself as a needy weak boy is going to turn her off more. Work on changing the way you interact with women so that you are respected as a man. I’ll see you in the gym brother.

Ok-Firefighter8779 · 2024-07-19T20:40:32+00:00

What a Fucking psycho, I’d get a restraining order if I were her

Detective_Emoji · 2024-07-19T19:13:23+00:00

Assuming this post is sincere,

When she told you she thought you were joking, she was probably trying to let you down easy. But, I understand not wanting to assume the worse and seeking clarification.

When she said she liked you as a friend— that was the clarification. It may not have been direct enough, but if the choice was between friends and more than friends, and she said she likes you as friend, there’s your answer. There was nothing more for her to think about, you should’ve just accepted that as her answer and adapted accordingly.

Taking her to an “abandoned parking lot” for a yes or no answer is very weird to put it lightly. When someone becomes closed off, it’s because they are uncomfortable and either unable or unsure of how to communicate that. Try to read body language and other signals like being closed off as flags that she’s not feeling you, especially not enough to want to kiss.

Going for a kiss with someone in an abandoned place, while understanding that they became closed off is also very weird. A kiss isn’t really something I’d recommend rolling the dice on. By the time you kiss someone, try to make sure they would be receptive to the kiss before hand.

She’s not going to be unsure of whether she wants to be more than a friend, and then suddenly realize they have feelings for you after a kiss. That’s some movie shit. By the time a kiss happens, there’s already an established and understood mutual attraction through a build up of flirting and other signals.

It sounds like she was trying to let you down easy, or was still unsure, and you missed the signs. Instead of giving her the time she needed to get to know you better, or accepting your role as a friend, you sought a more immediate and direct sense of closure than what was necessary.

The fact that she made an effort to console you after that seems like she does genuinely like you as a person, and values the friendship, but either doesn’t really find you attractive, or hasn’t had enough time to get to know you and was caught off guard. Knowing someone enough to want to pursue something more than a friendship with them isn’t something you can pressure them into, or force a deadline for.

luckybeast01 · 2024-07-19T19:33:22+00:00

You don't do hookup where you vlookup

annoyinover · 2024-07-19T20:08:06+00:00

Yeah you have no idea how to pick up on social cues. You expressed how you felt (always a bad idea btw), she rejected you and you continued to do things to make her uncomfortable. You noticed her body language and still thought it was a good idea to try and kiss her? Use this as a lesson and be smarter when you go after someone else. This is finished, move on

NoVermicelli1303 · 2024-07-19T20:50:14+00:00

If a woman likes you, she will 100% let you know. Never do that shit again

parrbird88 · 2024-07-19T20:12:31+00:00

You took her to an abandoned parking lot to get an answer out of her? Wtf

jpderbs27 · 2024-07-19T19:01:45+00:00

Paragraphs, come on man!

itsvoogle · 2024-07-19T21:09:17+00:00

Best you keep distance and let it go, if she comes around she comes around. If not look for someone else. Sometimes to create attraction you have to step away.

Btw, dating and sleeping with coworkers is a bad idea, i know there are exceptions but i would strongly recommend not to, if things go downhill you will be in for a rough ride.

Nigelthornfruit · 2024-07-19T18:50:40+00:00

Sounds like oneitis bro - move on

Much-Anywhere-940 · 2024-07-19T18:59:18+00:00

Mate she gave you her answer. 😂 idiot.

OkSilver75 · 2024-07-19T21:31:35+00:00

“I like you AS A FRIEND”

You already got your answer, just didn't accept it. She dodged a bullet, this post is deranged

yvngjiffy703 · 2024-07-19T22:17:29+00:00

Holy shit, you’re a creep

ThatCrazyKracker · 2024-07-20T00:23:48+00:00

You got Ted Bundy rizz

kronos55 · 2024-07-19T19:24:35+00:00

Just block her and move on. No other good option.

itsjoao · 2024-07-19T19:50:26+00:00

perhaps you only like her cause you're moving out? and like other people said she gave you an answer you just didn't want to hear. move on if you can

Viktor2500 · 2024-07-19T20:14:55+00:00

I got second hand embarrassment from reading that lol. As a man don't get to feel and look sad in front of women cause they reject you. You don't get to wait for an answer to a simple question from her, if she wanted or it has ever crossed her mind she would have said yes immediately. With women everything other than a yes is a no and even if you get a maybe that turns into a yes it's not something worth settling for. What I'd do tomorrow if I was you is I would excuse myself for my behaviour, tell her that I completely understand and never bring the topic up AGAIN.

Saint_Knowles · 2024-07-19T20:50:02+00:00

Brother man you were way out of line in this story. Jesus christ. After being plainly rejected, you took her to an abandoned parking lot and said "I know how we can test to see if you like me". I hope you understand now after reading the comments how r*pey that sounds. Man before pursuing any other women you should work on reading emotions in general and regular human interaction.

Pedro_Moona · 2024-07-19T20:57:34+00:00

Explain to her that your going to be rich. I find it hilarious when young women want to marry rich then just look toward older men. It's like I'm clearly going to make partner one day or I'm clearly a top sales rep so when I invest right we will be rich. Plus you have a career so we will be more then fine.

MrDownhillRacer · 2024-07-19T21:11:27+00:00

Even if our relationship becomes awkward now I have no regrets as I did what I felt like,

You should have regrets, dude. What you did was really weird. So weird that I can't tell if this is a troll post/joke.

A woman pretty clearly let you know she isn't interested, and you didn't take "no" for an answer. She told you she just wanted to be friends. When you pressed, she just said "I dunno" because unassertive, conflict-averse people (i.e. most women and a good number of men) do that when they mean "no," but don't want to hurt your feelings.

You tried to "force" an answer by taking her to a "secluded parking lot" (this is the part that makes me think this might be a joke or troll post) when you were supposed to take her home, where she might have been worried about her safety (she doesn't know whether or not you're taking her to someplace secluded, other than the place you agreed to take her to, in order to murder her without witnesses or something). Then, you forced a kiss on her.

When she didn't react the way you wanted to a kiss she obviously wasn't receptive to, you pouted, putting her in the position of having to tend to your feelings and make you feel better about yourself when she is the one who was placed in an uncomfortable situation whose feelings clearly weren't attended to.

What you did was also dumb even from a purely self-interested standpoint. This is the kind of shit that can get somebody fired. You need to learn basic social skills and common sense.

ChromaticSideways · 2024-07-19T21:27:18+00:00

Dude ngl what you did at the end, making sad faces whatever, sounds pretty manipulative. I think you need to get out more and make more casual friends before you're ready to date. You need to treat women as ordinary people because they are ordinary people. Honestly by how you got her alone, put her on the spot and then made a physical move on her with the exact opposite of express permission, I wouldn't be surprised if she stayed away from you out of concern for her safety. Not saying you're a dangerous person, but I think you're very deluded.

swhatrulookinat · 2024-07-19T21:32:49+00:00

Most have already addressed everything but if you’re moving away and also confessing you want to be more than friends, youre basically asking her to be a one night stand. Not sure if that was your intent or you were trying to establish a more romantic relationship.

Gingorthedestroyer · 2024-07-19T21:35:59+00:00

Don’t dip your pen in the company ink, you will always be sorry.

Jonny2266 · 2024-07-19T21:42:27+00:00

You're a whole entire mess. Not only is it generally inadvisable to go after a coworker, especially one you just met, you're creepy insistence after rejection could make you liable for sexual harrassment and ruin your career. You appear unable to read social cues and put women on a pedestal so you should probably just stick to online dating unless you want get labeled a creep at your new location.

AdministrativeLove97 · 2024-07-19T21:51:11+00:00

What are you gonna do when she goes to HR and said you assaulted her? Personally never thought it was a good idea to fraternize at work. Unless I knew for certain the job was temporary. Or unless she was hot enough for me to determine the job was temporary. But that only happened once sssoo….

Trip_seize · 2024-07-19T22:04:35+00:00

Mate, you just assaulted a woman in an abandoned parking lot. Stay away from her and hope she doesn't make a formal complaint before you leave the country. Or just leave before she makes a complaint, your choice.

The_Irons · 2024-07-19T22:22:17+00:00

Ship sailed, wouldn’t even worry about it.

TheRealJamesHoffa · 2024-07-19T22:27:55+00:00

What you did is creepy as hell and she probably felt uncomfortable at best and scared at worst. She already told you she sees you as a friend, you refused to accept that answer, then you took her to an abandoned lot where I assume there are no witnesses and cornered her in your car. You said she was wedged in the corner and closed off, can you not read body language at all? She was most likely nervous at this point about having no escape possible. And then you still tried to kiss her lol. Dude she said she doesn’t know because she was scared of what would happen if she straight up said no.

asiandawgshy · 2024-07-19T22:56:34+00:00

Should not have done it in first place 💀

traveller4369 · 2024-07-19T23:28:30+00:00

dwobbo · 2024-07-19T23:38:20+00:00

Back off. You’re coming off as pushy and desperate.

kim_jong_2 · 2024-07-19T23:54:51+00:00

Youre either extremely young or extremely nauvt. The girl said NO in her own way several fimest. But you didn't want to hear it. Also, are you an Indian? I have seen this behavior from some of my Indian friends before 😂

SnooHesitations4922 · 2024-07-19T23:59:57+00:00

I won't emasculate u about being a creep.

I will put it into different words.

Your behaviors demonstrated lack of options and that u can't do better than her so she saw you as beneath her.

People use the word "creepy" to describe the way a non selected man behaves. Eventually non selection can lead a person to become psycho and do unspeakable things and people know that, hence why the term "creepy" gets thrown around and the person is seen as a threat.

In the future act like you have other options even if you don't. Faking preselection until u become preselected is far better than what u were doing.

xX_NowYouSeeMe_Xx · 2024-07-20T00:19:29+00:00

You took her to an abandoned parking lot and kept pushing and pushing even after she kept telling you she likes you as A FRIEND. That’s creepy dude.

BootyWarrior708 · 2024-07-20T00:45:12+00:00

When she said, “I thought you were joking.” Is when you should’ve cut her off or been distant.

lorenzoiscool17 · 2024-07-20T01:09:40+00:00

Bro she moved to the corner of the car away from you and your first thought was to put your fucking lips on her? My God dude you are a creep

Funkytowwn · 2024-07-20T01:21:28+00:00

You get points for making the move, now you’ll never have to worry about that. As for now you can decide if you want to remain friends. If you remain friends she will likely continue to want the perks of going out for a drink rides, events etc so be weary of this.

Best bet is full cut, you’re now coworkers act accordingly. Save you years of trying to reposition yourself as dateable while they are chatting with other men.

thrashourumov · 2024-07-20T01:22:48+00:00

I don't get why you didn't get it when she first said "AS A FRIEND". This is where you should have stopped and moved on. She was not playing stupid games or testing you with that kind of crystal clear answer.

But yeah, maybe you got your advice from some bad but still widely followed dating influencer who would say that this is because you didn't seduce her enough and so must try harder because anyone can seduce anyone, with hard work you can will your way to anyone's bed and so there's something wrong with you it's your fault wra wra wra. No. You look for opportunities and filter out the rest.

I think you should learn specifically to read people, especially women of course.

If a woman is into you, whether at first or after a few interactions, you'll see signs. She'll either easily give you attention when you're around, will listen, laugh at your terrible jokes, you'll catch her looking at you, will stand closer than necessary to you, she'll make some effort in keeping the conversation going etc

But yeah, she was somewhat physical with you, but it looks like she's that kind or warm, affective person that does that with close people she likes (as a friend, family, etc).

If you'd still like to keep her as a friend, I don't think there's any way around apologizing and clearly stating you got her wrong and that you get it now. Up to her at this point

erikmalkavian · 2024-07-20T01:41:34+00:00

Make Her Beg

That's when you will know she is ready or if She asks you to Lunch or to go out.

Moreover, better not to mix Work and Pleasure

Clutchcon_blows · 2024-07-20T02:10:44+00:00

Jesus Christ

snrolexx · 2024-07-19T21:00:33+00:00

Girls will do this all the time. Girls like to be liked. They love getting attention. It validates themselves because they look for validation externally. So they will keep you around as long as you’re providing attention for them. Sometimes they will like you back, sometimes they just see you as a friend. This girl may seem very nice but she was using you for her own validation

Westernation · 2024-07-19T19:30:08+00:00

You have a moment in silence from all of us brother.

She literally pulled a Sith Lord on you. Only thing missing was her screeching ‘Power…! Unlimited Power’ as you fought to keep a stoic face.

Ghost her. No matter what anyone says. You need to defend yourself.

You have my understanding trust me.

Title	My coworker I liked rejected my kiss.
Author	Life-Permission69
Upvotes	50
Comments	110
Date	July 19, 2024 6:34 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1e7ax4j/my_coworker_i_liked_rejected_my_kiss/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/my-coworker-i-liked-rejected-my-kiss.1524757 https://theredarchive.com/post/1524757

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