Thank You.

Funcuz · 2012-12-02T11:58:59+00:00

I wish that there was more that we could have done to give you a better family life when you were younger .

Unfortunately , this is a dirty job and it's definitely not popular but , as the saying goes , somebody's gotta do it .

I appreciate your extended hand and want to tell you that we'll fight to make sure that your story doesn't have to be repeated indefinitely . We just need more young women like you to tell the world that we're not here to oppress , rollback the rights of , or in some way harm women . We just want our rights to be respected and upheld by the law . We think it's in everybody's best interests .

So no ... thank YOU .

theskepticalidealist · 2012-12-02T11:45:19+00:00

Have you checked out Warren Farrell yet? Im sure you'll like him, especially when he talks about families and relationships. There's lots of stuff on YT of talks and interviews etc. There's even a 3 hour interview (really worth it btw) on his Myth of Male Power book. (that argues that the feminist concept of power is not really power, that real power is control and flexibility over your life not just make more and more money. That men need to start thinking about life more like women, and women need to allow men to think this way by making it socially acceptable)

Grubnar · 2012-12-02T12:46:21+00:00

. I won't go into my beliefs, because I'm freakin' 20 and have conflicting, contrary and probably super under-educated opinions.

They say that true wisdom is knowing that one knows nothing. I don't know who I'm quoting on that one...

baskandpurr · 2012-12-02T12:26:01+00:00

One of the worst things about the whole hipocrisy of the legal system is how it claims to work for the benefit of children. The legal system allows the female parent to deny children access to their male parent. It makes the male parent give money to the female parent, rather than spending on the child. How is that looking after the best interests of the child? Have you ever met a child who didn't want to have both parents? A child who wanted it father to be poor?

tdltuck · 2012-12-02T13:43:42+00:00

You're proving to be on your way to becoming a well-spoken, level-headed woman as it is. Keep it up and good on you.

Rahmulous · 2012-12-02T14:20:28+00:00

Wow, very similar story on my side. I'm a 20 year old guy who's parents divorced when I was 2. My dad paid a lot in child support for myself and my brother, but she didn't use too much of that for us. She spent most on cigarettes; which made me absolutely livid. Anyway, we all hope divorce and custody laws change asap. Nice to see that you're close with our father. Good luck to you.

2012-12-02T12:11:06+00:00

This probably won't get noticed...

Oh, I think it will. <3

I won't go into my beliefs, because I'm freakin' 20 and have conflicting, contrary and probably super under-educated opinions.

Please, without discourse how can one be expected to form opinions? Assuming you're in college, doesn't a bit of discussion always seem to help the lesson? Hasn't someone asked a question which made something confusing click for you, though you weren't sure what to ask? These are things I appreciated enough to leave UC Berkeley in favor of a less glamorous school with smaller classes.

Women aren't generally taught the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness, but if you master that you'll be fine. Simply put, one asserts a new idea, the other denies ideas already on the table:

That's wrong, and... (aggressive)

That's interesting, but... (assertive)

It's subtle, but it makes all the difference in the world to everyone, even if they themselves can't put their finger on the difference.

-Awake- · 2012-12-02T15:24:57+00:00

I've got to say, it's wonderful to see people coming together on this board from both sides of the gender line fighting for equality. Your post was very moving, and I hope that not only your post today, but your very existence will inspire those who are more close-minded. Let's all take a moment to remember that the proper goal of movements like the mens rights movement and the feminist movement is to get society to a place where we don't need these movements anymore

MuFoxxa · 2012-12-02T19:17:50+00:00

I'm the father of an 8 year old and I can tell you that what you describe is one of my worst nightmares.

I'm extremely involved in my daughters life and go out of my way to be involved in everything she does as well as include her in everything I do, especially hobbies and teaching her how to do everything from cooking to changing the brakes on my car.

Just thinking about being separated for a long time or flat out being denied access to her is making me tear up.

It's because of this that my heart goes out to you and your father, and to all parents (mother or father) who are going through this sort of thing. It's not right to forcibly separate a parent from a child expect in the most dire of circumstances (potential harm to the child). Especially if it's done as a means to extract money or some sort of payback for a perceived injustice.

typhonblue · 2012-12-02T19:40:13+00:00

Women's rights?

What about a girl's right to her father?

Captntrouble · 2012-12-02T16:06:53+00:00

As a single father of a 14 year old son in almost EXACTLY the same situation, and on behalf of your father, you're very welcome! You brought out my feels just now...

ComradeFurious · 2012-12-02T17:19:17+00:00

No, thank you. People with stories like these need to speak up, not just to let MRAs know what they are fighting for is something real, but to let people outside the movement know these problems exist and they need to be addressed.

rightsbot · 2012-12-02T10:38:18+00:00

Post text automatically copied here. (Why?) (Report a problem.)

ss_camaro · 2012-12-02T12:54:48+00:00

How will your fathers' treatment effect your personal relationships? What do you think about government sponsored feminism and how will you make a difference? How will his sacrifice end up making a difference?

DavidByron · 2012-12-02T16:10:28+00:00

Thanks for posting this.

Dirty_Delta · 2012-12-02T16:16:35+00:00

This absolutely needs attention.

Grubnar · 2012-12-02T14:00:34+00:00

A woman does not "need" a man, but a child does need a father!

JoanneKerlot · 2012-12-02T18:48:51+00:00

Thank you :)

LePure · 2012-12-02T18:57:12+00:00

Out of interest, how did your mothers relationship with your father and the way she treated him affect you, and what is your relationship with your mother like now?

Joy-Stick · 2012-12-03T02:21:38+00:00

Thank you OP!

As a father who has just had his 10 month old son ripped from him, I "get" to see him for four hours three times a week and have no custodial rights. This is due to lies that my ex wife convinced a judge were true, not just one though. She was smart and got the first judge to rule on part of it, then made up more to get the restraining order made permanent. Btw, she has admitted to when she pulled a gun on me, and yet I am considered the violent one. But I digress.

I wanted to thank you, because the one thing keeping me sane in all this is remembering that although he is 10 months old right now he will grow older and wiser, eventually causing this bubble of lies his mother has built to burst on her. She will continue this behavior and he will see it himself, and I thank you for posting this from the perspective of someone who had to live through something that is too close to what my son is having to go through. I look forward to phone calls, emails, texts, whatever where I get to talk to him while not in my physical custody. I expect eventually I will get awarded joint custody, but I also anticipate more of her withholding him for whatever reason, or saying lies about me and my behavior. So I again thank you for letting me know that children do see the truth, even if courts do not.

So again, thank you.

Edit - Seriously, I cannot thank you enough.

occupythekitchen · 2012-12-02T18:59:59+00:00

Reading this post sparked my imagination. Shouldn't the money paid in child support from father to mother eventually be paid back? I mean shouldn't the dad be able to get some of that money back after the kid is 18 from the mom for at least half of the amount he paid in child support. It doesn't have to be a one time payment but maybe monthly payments. This would also give the father wiggling room if he couldn't pay child support for one month and lead to deals where you pay child support once every 2 months so it won't be as simple as if you don't pay me you'll go to jail black card. Anyways if we could sell this idea it'd definitely bring some fairness into family courts.

i am sure depending on the situation it'd be unfair but at the same time it's not a just one way ticket and it has consequences to both parties instead of being deliberately one sided.

SilencingNarrative · 2012-12-02T20:13:29+00:00

Thanks for telling your story here. I love reading posts like yours.

DerickBurton · 2012-12-02T21:51:24+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. My parents split up when I was young and my mother cut our dad off and turned us against him. I'm glad that you still have a good relationship with your father despite your mother's antics.

HoundDogs · 2012-12-03T02:27:57+00:00

All blame aside, I'm sorry that happened to you. Divorce can be an ugly business all around.

I am very happy to hear you are close with your father, even after all of that happened.

Best of luck!

2012-12-02T18:27:01+00:00

Please never forget that your mother was the largest role-model you had when it comes to the habits and choices you make about men. If you ever get into a long term relationship, you will likely want to go to counseling so they can unteach the subconscious things that your mother taught you while growing up. Sounds like you are already on a good path. Good luck. I hope you end up having a happy life.

NeckBeardNegro · 2012-12-02T13:27:50+00:00

Well I'll be damned a US female who has beliefs but has the balls to say

I won't go into my beliefs, because I'm freakin' 20 and have conflicting, contrary and probably super under-educated opinions

You are beautiful.

mikesteane · 2012-12-02T19:22:07+00:00

Make your mother pay for what she did to you and your father.

My kids (all adults now) want nothing to do with their mother. Their mother has been shunned by the entire family for what she did to my kids and I. She has tried to attend family events uninvited, just to be forced to leave by the police.

Shun her and kick her out of your life..

Dont let her be alone with your kids when you have them, unless you want them to grow up hating men.

Let her know there are repercussions for what she did, and make dang sure she knows why she is no longer welcome in your life or the lives of your family.

Major_Major_Major · 2012-12-02T18:42:23+00:00

Your mother is not allowed to do that. Your father should have gone to court.

TheRealPariah · 2012-12-03T01:41:53+00:00

I won't go into my beliefs, because I'm freakin' 20 and have conflicting, contrary and probably super under-educated opinions.

No, this cannot be a 20 year old. This must be fake.

TheJollySatan · 2012-12-02T16:05:50+00:00

But I wanted to say thank you for what you're doing

What is anyone here doing that you should be thankful for? Posting on reddit?

Title	Thank You.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	602
Comments	73
Date	December 2, 2012 10:36 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/145am0/thank_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/thank-you.1007785 https://theredarchive.com/post/1007785

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