Here's a twist for you...lesbian couple, one is an asshole who lies to put an RO on the other (me)

ignatiusloyola · 2012-11-02T17:10:16+00:00

It is unfortunate that it takes personal experience in order to see the problem... I am sorry for your situation, but people need to realize that focusing on the "good effect" of a law while completely disregarding the negative does not make robust, fair laws. Due process is an important right that shouldn't be ignored in our attempts to protect women and minorities (and we should be protecting all people, not just women and minorities).

ErasmusMRA · 2012-11-02T16:36:09+00:00

Goes to show that men's rights are human rights.

demiurgency · 2012-11-02T17:15:33+00:00

I am a great advocate that issues of gay/lesbian rights are ultimately very beneficial to the MRA cause. While gay/lesbian rights traditionally fall under the aegis of feminism, I believe that as we fully embrace the legitimacy of gay marriage, issues like divorce will need to be addressed. When we can no longer divide divorce (or in your case, restraining orders) among strict male/female lines, we will need to address inequities in the system that are long past due.

My sympathies go out to you and your situation. I hope you are soon able to get back on your feet. Thank you for sharing.

Ma99ie · 2012-11-02T17:29:14+00:00

Welcome. What state are you in? Maybe I could help.

rightsbot · 2012-11-02T16:28:19+00:00

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DavidByron · 2012-11-02T19:59:00+00:00

Yes ; she can't throw you out of the home says the law, but hang on a second, if she just lies and says, "I am in fear of my life", the cops come and arrest you for her.

Right, nobody's ever going to abuse that system.

Sorry for what's happened to you. I have heard of this stuff happening before. The worst was a woman was sent to a battered woman's shelter run by the same woman who was hitting her. I hope your circumstances are not so bad.

CertusAT · 2012-11-02T16:48:54+00:00

Could you go more in to detail? I don't understand, what is RO?

2012-11-02T18:42:18+00:00

It's not really a twist. It's an abuse of a poorly laid out system. Sorry to hear that your homeless though.

SpanishGuy · 2012-11-02T20:51:39+00:00

Sometimes this is called "cannibalization": When a group gets enough power to dominate another, eventually their members start to use that same power against each other.

To misuse the power is probably the easiest thing in this world. This has nothing to do with being men or women, it's just that as human beings we're not as great as we like to think.

I'm sorry that happened. You're welcome to the club.

OuiCrudites · 2012-11-03T01:46:42+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. Lesbian relationships are the most likely to be abusive, compared to M-F and M-M relationships.

DavidByron · 2012-11-02T17:23:58+00:00

RO = restraining order?

But I am kinda surprise to see support from a lesbian more because from what I seen lesbians tend to side with feminists, but I am glad you are aware at how easy it is especially for a female to ruin a mans life.

callthebankshot · 2012-11-02T19:49:41+00:00

Sorry to hear that. Do you know what was claimed to get the restraining order against you?

Geohump · 2012-11-02T23:02:36+00:00

I am sorry to hear about what happened. Have you been able to get any help with finding shelter? Do you need any help? I believe reddit has some resources that can give you some hints. Please feel free to contact me by private message if you need a few tips and may the Gods/Goddesses (if indeed they be), smile upon you and your future.

Silver lining, you will be better off without that person as your partner.

Edit - I've been reading too many web comics. You nickname is scary! See bottom panel --> http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20120629

actanonverba8 · 2012-11-03T02:10:49+00:00

Sorry HiveQueen. It's just as wrong, horrible and anti-fairness that it happened to you as it would be if it happened to one of us men.

This restraining order (or "order of protection" or other names it is knows by) business has got to go. It puts too much unilateral power into one person's hands. It's a fundamentally flawed policy that practically begs to be abused (and frequently is).

ispq · 2012-11-03T05:03:02+00:00

That sucks. I hope you can find a place soon.

2012-11-03T06:12:43+00:00

Its interesting how the handful that do go through that trouble to get an RO against someone are so quick to want to separate themselves from a human being. Its no sacrifice on their part to get one.

They are so quick to take wrath upon people, and have no empathy when they do everything they can to completely ruin someone's life.

And the legal system should protect people from this fraud, but unfortunately a great deal of work needs to be done.

There are legitimate cases for why an RO should be filed. The fraud not only hurts the victims of such litigation, but also the people who truly have cases they really need an RO for. And this is why this fraud must stop. If people want to separate themselves from another human being for no real good reason, then they should be the one making the effort and sacrifice to avoid the other person.

loose-dendrite · 2012-11-02T20:09:56+00:00

Sorry it happened to you.

It is interesting to see the feminist reply to gay and lesbian domestic violence, child custody cases, false accusations, and the like. If men are always the abusers, who is abusing in lesbian relationships? If women always get the kids, who gets them in lesbian relationships? If men and women are the same, why do gay men have more casual sex than lesbians or straight people? What happens in primary aggressor or automatic arrest policies when the couples are the same sex?

Interesting questions that feminists have no answer for [besides that straight men are the source of the world's evil.]

2012-11-02T20:53:00+00:00

I wonder what SRS has to say about something like this.

thedevguy · 2012-11-02T19:52:53+00:00

Sorry that you're going through this. Looking back, were there any warning signs, or is there anything you might do differently?

2012-11-03T10:44:36+00:00

I'm sorry to hear about that, and glad you found a friend to host you. I like to host people that way, and will soon be hosting a visiting organizer for a lobbyist nonprofit who works to help people in similar situations.

2012-11-03T14:31:58+00:00

Thank you for posting your story. I hear of a fair few lesbian couples who end up in bad situations, with one of the pair being a complete prick, and causing a whole world of hurt for both of them.

The one who is worse off, ends up feeling like they have no where to go. She feels bad because she has somehow gone against the grain of what is expected in a lesbian relationship, as told to her by many feminist groups (around here anyway), that women do not abuse. She blames herself for the relationship falling apart.

I've had a friend now almost kill herself because of this. Please, be strong, and realize that we can support each other.

mikesteane · 2012-11-03T00:13:20+00:00

First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I am not a Jew... then they came for the men, I did not speak out...

Title	Here's a twist for you...lesbian couple, one is an asshole who lies to put an RO on the other (me)
Author	TheHiveQueen
Upvotes	130
Comments	84
Date	November 2, 2012 4:27 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/12iqj6/heres_a_twist_for_youlesbian_couple_one_is_an/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/heres-a-twist-for-youlesbian-couple-one-is-an.1010039 https://theredarchive.com/post/1010039

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