"Half of students strongly agreed that it was okay for a girl to hit her boyfriend under certain circumstances"

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[–]smoike 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

The survey is crap. Unless they count self defense. My ex was a nutter, she punched, hit and bit me during arguments, basically domestic abuse. I put up with it longer than i should, and when I finally snapped I didn't punch her like i wanted to, but gave her a single almighty shove that pushed her back mid-air for 2 meters where she landed on our bed (I made sure i pushed her onto there so she'd not get hurt) and told her to never fucking hit me again.

Well that was a red flag to a bull and she tried her wicked best to get at me with palms, fists, fingernails teeth and feet. That argument went until 3 am when she called the cops on ME.

She told her side of the story, I told mine (how it started, what she did, what i did and why). The cops asked if I had a place to stay that night. I said I didn't, so they said if you stay there, stay in separate rooms for the night. That shit went on for a further 5 months until the lease was up and we worked out plans of seperating.

She went to the UK, I stayed here in Australia & encouraged her to go (with the premise of maybe following) and promptly dropped contact after a month or so of her being there once she'd settled in.

Worst relationship of my life, and a real eye opener on how imbalanced the world and individuals can be.

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[–]RC_5213 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Several faulty points in your post.

Gun deaths are not the same as gun murders. The two are very different. Gun deaths is an all-ecompassing term that includes suicides, accidental/negligent discharges, accidental shootings and defensive shootings.
Most firearm-related murders/crimes are not committed with legally purchased weapons. The numbers vary based on source, but the common trend I've seen is somewhere around 80-85% of crimes are committed with illegally purchased weapons.
Killing someone with a knife is much easier than you would think. Without prompt medical care, plenty of knife wounds can turn fatal just as fast as gunshot wounds.
It does bear mentioning that firearms are used around 2.5 million times per year in self defense, according to the Justice Departments recent annual reports on this sort of thing. Taking that number and comparing it to the amount of gun deaths from the same reports gives you around a 2500:1 ratio in favor of the self-defense. I'll take that.

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Before I pulled a gun on anyone, I would leave the situation if I could do so without further jeopardizing my safety. I would also deescalate any situation as much as possible. Since I'm a large guy, very few women without a weapon could pose a serious threat to me, but if one somehow did, I don't think I would let the fact that she is a woman stop me from defending myself with whatever means is necessary. Up to and including shooting her. But I would do the same for man who was attempting to harm me.

As for it being okay to shoot someone who is hitting you? The choice to avoid a situation is taken from you when the other party chooses to use violence. Your choice now is to either allow yourself to be harmed or to use violence yourself to try and avoid that harm. Thousands of people die every year from being hit by fists. Should someone have to risk death by valuing an aggressor's life over their own? If you fell that you are at risk of great bodily harm or death, I believe that you are morally justified in using deadly force to stop that harm. Of course, a jury may not agree with you.

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This one really bothers me. I lost my virginity to a woman... I don't know why I feel the need to mention that she was a woman, but I will say I am gay, so that might be why... by what would be considered rape had the genders been reversed, but when I raised the issue to others around me and authorities, I had so much bullshit called on me it wasn't even funny. I heard so much "You got laid, stop complaining", but she (over 21, me being 17 at the time) fed me copious amounts of booze, to the point where I wouldn't even know where I lived, and then got in my bed and attacked me. I was too drunk to even do anything about it, certainly wouldn't have consented sober, and did not want to have sex with her to begin with; I had made it very clear to several friends (all male) that night to NOT let me sleep with her, but in a drunken stupor they all wandered off to do their own thing, mostly with other women, and ignored my requests.

I get in bed to surprise naked woman jumping on me.

Sure, I could have stopped drinking, but do any of you actually know a 17 year old who knows his limit in college? Hell, several years later I still know plenty of "adults" that don't know when to put the bottle down.

This comment will probably be down voted to hell because I sound like I'm flaunting getting laid, but I really was not, and still am not comfortable with how I lost my virginity. I never expected it to be perfect, romantic and lovey-dovey bullshit, but I at least wanted to remember half of it and for it to seem remotely special. It was neither.

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I'm not saying it's ok for women to beat up men, but considering the size and strength difference in men and women, a man has a potential to do a lot more damage to a woman than vice versa.

Fergusson, D. M., Horwood, L. J., & Ridder, E. M. (2005). Partner violence and mental health outcomes in a New Zealand birth cohort. Journal of Marriage and Family, 67, 1103-1119. (Examined extent of domestic violence experience and perpetration in a sample of 828 <437 women, 391 men> young adults who were 25 years old. Subjects were part of a long term longitudinal study and were administered the CTS2. Results reveal that "there were more men exposed to severe domestic violence than women" and that mild and moderate rates were similar for men and women. Overall, 39.4% of women and 30.9% of men reported perpetration scores of 3 or higher. Authors report that men and women reported similar rates of injury <3.9% for women vs. 3.3% for men>. In terms of initiation of partner assaults, 34% of women and 12% of men reported initiating physical assaults.)

Headey, B., Scott, D., & de Vaus, D. Domestic violence in Australia: Are women and men equally violent? Data from the International Social Science Survey/ Australia 1996/97 was examined. A sample of 1643 subjects (804 men, 839 women) responded to questions about their experience with domestic violence in the past 12 months. Results reveal that 5.7% of men and 3.7% of women reported being victims of domestic assaults. With regard to injuries results reveal that women inflict serious injuries at least as frequently as men. For example 1.8% of men and 1.2% of women reported that their injuries required first aid, while 1.5% of men and 1.1% of women reported that their injuries needed treatment by a doctor or nurse.

Hoff, B. H. (1999). The risk of serious physical injury from assault by a woman intimate. A re-examination of National Violence against women survey data on type of assault by an intimate. WWW.vix.com/menmag/nvawrisk.htm. (A re-examination of the data from the most recent National violence against women survey (Tjaden & Thoennes, 1998) shows that "assaulted men are more likely than assaulted women to experience serious attacks by being hit with an object, beat up, threatened with a knife or being knifed.")

McLeod, M. Women against men: An examination of domestic violence based on an analysis of official data and national victimization data. Justice Quarterly, 1, 171-193. (From a data set of 6,200 cases of spousal abuse in the Detroit area in 1978-79 found that men used weapons 25% of the time while female assailants used weapons 86% of the time, 74% of men sustained injury and of these 84% required medical care. Concludes that male victims are injured more often and more seriously than female victims.)

Straus, M. A. (2005). Women's violence toward men is a serious social problem. In D. R. Loseke, R. J. Gelles, & M. M. Cavanaugh (Eds.), Current Controversies on Family Violence, 2nd Edition, (pp. 55-77). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. (A scholarly review of research showing that women initiate physical assaults on their male partners as frequently as men assault women. Examines the fact that injuries and fatalities result from such violence.)

These and a few hundred more research studies on this issue:

http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm

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Am I the only woman here who is seriously physically much weaker than her husband? I honestly cannot imagine a situation in which my husband would not be able to one up me in a contest of strength. I can't believe that the frequenters of this sub could really picture themselveswith a woman who was more muscular and physically powerful than they are. It did say "hit," not bludgeon, stab or shoot

Your mindset is a perfect illustration of the challenges male victims of domestic violence face. Ina fight your husband could easily beat you, buy if you and your husband actually fought your husband would be on his way to jail. So the issue isn't whether or not he could beat you its how much damage you could inflict ona person that its trying to restrain you without hurting you . The answer is quitea bit, not to mention the fact that female on male domestic violence frequently involves weapons.

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Title	"Half of students strongly agreed that it was okay for a girl to hit her boyfriend under certain circumstances"
Author	dicipres
Upvotes	366
Comments	96
Date	June 7, 2012 7:40 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/uq9va/half_of_students_strongly_agreed_that_it_was_okay/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/half-of-students-strongly-agreed-that-it-was-okay.1020240 https://theredarchive.com/post/1020240

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