Explaining having few friends to a partner

Catz10000 · 2021-08-17T16:19:14+00:00

I don't think anyone is owed any explanation for what's happening in your life. We all go through stages where we reevaluate friendships, jobs, etc. The pandemic has definitely revealed LV traits in people to me. I think a simple I'm leveling up my life statement and watching to see how he reacts would be sufficient and revealing.

bombas- · 2021-08-17T16:32:33+00:00

Like the royal family: don’t complain, don’t explain

fireforestfairy · 2021-08-17T17:09:30+00:00

A lot of people are LV or incompatible with you so it's ok to have only a few friends.

GreatOrchidAmbition · 2021-08-17T20:12:59+00:00

I can actually answer this one!

I actually had my NVM ex ask me point blank if I "had no friends." Because I was in a new city, alone, and wouldn't mention a friend group ad nauseum the way he would. (I was never a friend group girl, after like... summer camp, especially mixed with guys because I'm not going to be a pick me for sporadic male attention). I was actually shocked as I was known for being social and having lots of friends, but at that point I was in the process of fighting/blocking a LOT of my NVF who were not only exhibiting pick me behavior, but were doing INSANE things to me like talking shit about me, then copying me, then obsessing over me, copying my clothes, vacations, car??? The NVF were acting creepy with me and I was having a VERY hard time with it, emotionally.

He then got shook because the next couple days I just amassed a bunch of new girlfriends from extended friends, etc, and began to meet up with them. He was soooo confused by me.

What they're doing is trying to see if you are easily to manipulate, vulnerable, etc. You don't owe anyone ANYTHING. If he tries to neg you, make him seem ridiculous and then keep mentioning your strong friendships/family and how unshakeable you are in them, even if it isn't true. Then find them in the mean time.

p0ludnitsa · 2021-08-17T16:29:02+00:00

⚠️ NO, NO, NO, DO NOT TELL A MAN YOU DON'T HAVE FRIENDS

For several reasons you must lie and say that you have more friends.

Your safety. Those friends will notice if you disappear.
Defense Against the Dark Narcs 101, him thinking you have more/a normal amount of friends (harder to isolate you in the future) can be a deterrent.
Telling him you have friends creates the opportunity for him to not be taking you for granted. You can make up events, such as getting your nails done with a girlfriend or taking a class together, to tell him you're busy. You cannot be available to him all the time.

eru378 · 2021-08-18T00:00:50+00:00

You need to have confidence in yourself and the way you live your life. Drop the mindset that you need to explain yourself to other people; it can be hard to deprogramme yourself from this, but it's very important that you do. Your choices are not something weird or shameful that you need to cover for or make excuses for.

seraphinelysion · 2021-08-18T01:32:25+00:00

Easy. Quality over quantity.

FirePreferred_theOG · 2021-08-18T13:16:41+00:00

You shouldn’t need to explain anything I’d this is you. He should take it or leave it. If he has an issue then he has an issue with a piece of YOU and it’s next!

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