high body count

DelicateDevelopment · 2021-09-11T09:00:54+00:00

How does a HVM look for you? Which characteristics do you expect in order to perceive someone a HVM with whom you want to spend your life with?

grahamcookiefart · 2021-09-11T20:13:49+00:00

High value? Focus on getting a man who is kind and has a big heart. Focus on being a person of value yourself. Why give yourself anxiety over missing out on some superman? Who says this will bring you joy? Be the best woman you can be to someone who deserves it and who wants to give you himself completely, who's values align with yours, who is loyal and kind. That is all - value is subjective

SunshineSundress · 2021-09-11T22:13:48+00:00

It seems like you’ve been through a lot. I hope you’ve had the chance to begin to heal from your past trauma and wounds.

I suggest you check out this post: So What If You’ve Had A Lot of Partners? It addresses everything: the bad news (i.e. your past, whether it was your fault or not, will be seen as a negative by many men), why that is so, AND most importantly, how you can move forward and what to do to make the best of what you’ve gotten. There is no such thing as a hopeless case. Everyone can improve and do the best that they can, if they know what that is and how to achieve it.

abacabbmk · 2021-09-11T11:51:57+00:00

Why is not getting the cream of the crop settling? What does a hvm even mean to you? Why would they not be settling with you?

NoMood7729 · 2021-09-11T12:51:24+00:00

Smart and dominant men go into LTRs with women who are high virtue and low drama. On the other hand, high drama, low virtue women are usually FWB-zoned by these men. The story you present shows lots of drama over an extended period with low signals of virtue.

I empathize with your story, it sounds like you've had a bad luck of draw in terms of upbringing. I imagine your father was ineffective in his role or maybe even absent from your life. So you didn't learn the structure to help you deal with your own instincts and protect yourself from predators.

That said, the facts of your history are facts and will never change. Any alpha man worth his salt will be able to pick up on your signals and will have a pretty good idea of your history even without you sharing most of it. Don't hope that God will change the past for you. I say IGNORE the people who tell you that "it wasn't your fault". On the contrary, OWN your past. Admit that it WAS your fault, that you were making a choice even in your drunken underage state, that you could've chosen otherwise. Take responsibility for your past and that way you'll start rebuilding your character. What you need is a real change of character, demonstrated by real actions that you take in the present. Get therapy if you haven't already. Make peace with your father and forgive him if you haven't yet. Learn some self-defense so you get more comfortable protecting yourself from predators. Learn about emotional boundaries and learn to spot predators and get away from them. Focus your life on (1) your virtue, and (2) your femininity. If you amplify both and genuinely live them, you will soon be attracting men who are both virtuous and dominant, which I figure is what you're looking for. If you don't do the real hard work on character, you will remain stuck in your old patterns.

When you ask "will I be able to get a high value man or will I have to settle", you're stuck in your solipsistic perspective. You're selfishly making it all about yourself. Instead ask "what does a high value man look for from a woman? How can I provide this for him?" That way you'll have more success.

timothees-gf · 2021-09-11T11:35:19+00:00

Why does “settling” for someone who isn’t a mystical magical high value man scare you?

RestingWings · 2021-09-11T22:16:51+00:00

A high value man? Find an average man, and create a high value relationship, one where you both support each other to achieve your goals, pursue your passions, take care of your health, and grow as individuals- together (while enjoying your time!)

vivalachavez · 2021-09-11T18:13:36+00:00

That second paragraph 🤧❤️🤧❤️ I wish you all the best. You’ve done more than most people by realizing and atoning for your mistakes. Some of which you were too naive and brainwashed to realize. This society is sick and pushes trash on children and parents are too dumb to really stand up. It’s not an excuse but we must all do better. Forgive yourself as God forgives you. There’s hope

LateralThinker13 · 2021-09-13T18:08:51+00:00

Is it possible for me to find a high valuable man?

I will ask you the same thing I ask EVERY woman who asks this:

What do you bring to the table that makes you a HVW? You get what you earn. Your post speaks of where you came from; a man will care about that to a degree, sure, but mostly, he wants to know how you will treat him. What kind of partner you will be.

So what do you bring to the table? If you're a HVW, you should not have trouble getting a HVM. But I suspect you have not done an honest inventory of what you bring to the table.

I feel like I can’t and feel i might have to settle, which scares me.

Settling would only apply if you are higher value and go for a lower value male. I suspect you have not realistically calibrated your own value yet. You aren't "settling" for a 5 if your actual value is a 3.

Rarerestofbeans · 2021-09-11T10:30:02+00:00

Always remember that every individual is different. Personally, I don’t judge people for their past. I utilize it for context to have better insight for some of the behaviors they present to me in the present moment but that is the only purpose it serves. Judging them is not.

That being said, when I look for a “High Value” person. I’m looking for high value traits. One being high self-awareness, intellect, and with that, I feel comes an ability to understand that humans rarely ever make it out of life battered and bruised. We all have a history. Things that we have done and things we have done to others.

Your past is by no means a reason to be ashamed.

The Bible might’ve told you that promiscuity is a sin, but also in the words of Jesus Christ, ““No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”

For me that means that whatever it is that comes up in your life path, you give yourself due time to process it, and then you put your hand on the plow and never look back. Looking back keeps you caught up in the past. It keeps you locked into a pattern of shame, and self loathing. Repentance, processing the actions of your past requires you to look forward. Not for a man but for yourself.

When you do, you will shine like new. And be able to talk about the past as if it is exactly that. The past.

JiimmyNeutron · 2021-09-11T05:45:04+00:00

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whatdidshewrite · 2021-09-11T18:25:21+00:00

Honestly if you just explain your body count to anyone the way you did right here, any sane person would understand/not hold it against you

JustaTcup · 2021-09-11T18:43:40+00:00

I can't begin to imagine how you feel. It must be terrible for you. I'm so sorry. I don't know if you'll be able to find a HVM - if you're forward about this information. My first impulse is to tell you that it's not possible but stranger things in life have happened. Maybe if you bring it down a little bit and maybe consider a man who is less physically attractive. It's not about "settling" it's just about assessing your values compared to someone elses. This all said, don't actually settle for someone who mistreats you or has no drive in life - just someone a little low on the attractiveness level who is a good person and has drive might be where you want to look. Those can be wonderful men and you wouldn't be "settling" at all.

softrevolution_ · 2021-09-11T06:28:17+00:00

You did not sin.

You were sinned against. Most grievously. Take the millstone from around your neck. It belongs around other people's.

A loving God does not punish his children for their own exploitation and abuse. Go in peace.

ThorsdaySaturnday · 2021-09-11T11:19:18+00:00

When we talk about body count, it’s assuming consensual sex as an ADULT. Being raped and abused as a minor is completely different than consciously choosing to have casual sex as an adult with fully formed volition.

thestructuralguy · 2021-09-11T13:30:15+00:00

Guy's perspective here. Ehh well I don't think I need to remind you that you kinda messed up. But it's never too late. Go single for a while. Find a therapist to work through your issues then start dating once you get to the root of your problems. Be completely honest about your drug filled behaviour to whoever you feel like is gonna be serious relationship material then pray they accept you. I personally wouldn't want to take on so much baggage but there are people who might be willing to. Also you mentioned you were abused. Sorry about that (I hope you're not lying about that just to save face as people tend to do that a lot). Mention your triggers that might bring up past trauma to whoever you are serious with. And stop obsessing over "HVM". People tend to focus on this word too much so much so that it's become toxic. Look the 6'+ guys with great hair athletic physique and lots of financial assets is a rare breed. If you manage to find one he will have a lot of options and probably treat you exactly like your abusers seeing as these people tend to be really shallow. Look for someone who appreciates you and agrees to take on your baggage. If you find someone like that never let him go. Also sitting with God and everything is fine but you need to take action and not just sit around all day praying to God that a guy falls on your lap and gives you commitment. Also talk to a counselor about relationships. I don't think you've ever been in one. There are a lot of nuances that you need to look for in a relationships. It seems to me that you were attracted to red flags all these years. People tend to go back to their addictions. I hope you don't. It will take a lot of mental strength to do so. So if you do want a serious relationship. Please think it through. It's hard but not impossible. With your toxic past you just need to work a bit harder then the rest that's all.

extratangerine · 2021-09-11T06:04:34+00:00

Yes it is possible but first you have to know and work towards your OWN purpose. Gone are the promiscuous days and to be honest we don’t wanna be skipping our hoe phase (no jk) but yeah do that and you’ll start feeling good about yourself and you’ll unconsciously ⭐️manifest⭐️ it

Intrepid_Place5390 · 2021-09-11T17:05:05+00:00

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i_have_a_semicolon · 2021-09-11T18:40:53+00:00

Take the nonsense out of your head and be compassionate with yourself. You were a minor.

Hopeful_Pay_6685 · 2021-09-13T04:54:39+00:00

Well, to any man that you're interested in, make sure to reveal your past and be 100% honest, otherwise, you're not truly repenting. That can be the problem with born-again Christians. There might be a nice guy out there who's willing to forgive your past and help you through it, but would you find him high-value, or just another simp? And even if you found a high-value man, would you trick him or lie to him about your past, because you want him to settle down with you?

A high-value man (my opinion of one) who's religious would probably go for a virgin or girl with few partners, and less to no baggage. The rate of divorce for virgin marriages are extremely low compared to ones with high body counts. The drugs and alcohol might be a huge red flag for many people.

AJ083786 · 2021-09-13T15:28:09+00:00

CaimansGalore · 2021-09-14T04:26:43+00:00

GO TO THERAPY.

Title	high body count
Author	Jazzlike-Arachnid258
Upvotes	0
Comments	60
Date	September 11, 2021 5:28 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/pm1g6c/high_body_count/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/high-body-count.1069333 https://theredarchive.com/post/1069333

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