Ex posting to social media

basically_a_genius · 2021-10-24T15:27:43+00:00

He made me feel bad > He emotionally abused me > He abused me > I'm a Survivor™ of an abusive relationship.

Also:

Making her feeling bad for any reason = emotional abuse
Telling her she can't have something because it's too expensive = financial abuse
Touching her in literally any way she doesn't like for any reason, no matter what she has done to you = domestic violence
Gaslighting
Questioning if this is abuse = silencing wymyn
Questioning her role or your perspective = victim blaming

Never underestimate people's (but especially women's) ability to tell themselves a story about how they did nothing wrong, especially when the society around them is a hug box agreeing with them and congratulating them for doing so. She is simply living 'her truth' as she now sees it.

Feinixaway · 2021-10-24T13:01:08+00:00

I would talk to a lawyer to see if this qualifies a libel. This is harming your reputation since other people are reaching out to you.

Take screenshots of everything.

Gxl4 · 2021-10-24T12:51:04+00:00

First of all, thumbs up for leaving suckerb3rg app years ago.

I wouldnt even react to the people not close to me. (i would be ok losing them) So, lets focus on the people i’m close to, Were there charges filed and found not guilty? Shove that in their faces.

Its critical to not burn your hands and make her file now just to give her stronger social credit, watch out for that. Also, if you have evidence of her lying about it, shove that in their faces as well.

But only for the people close to me, otherwise i would just stay clear to prevent her escalating.

dadmacintosh · 2021-10-24T18:49:05+00:00

Every woman has a sob story. Nothing you can do about it. A woman does not understand she is responsible for 50% of issues that happen. Your best revenge is to live well. Workout, get in a good shape, raise your income.

rsmiley77 · 2021-10-24T15:04:05+00:00

My first response is to let it go…. But I know and understand how aggravating and annoying this can be. If you must make a move your best bet is to have someone take screen grabs and ask your attorney to send over a nice letter to her attorney asking her to stop. That will probably run you 2-5 hundred dollars in attorneys fees.

Also just note if she isn’t mentioning you by name your exes attorney will make an argument about ‘well her statements are vague and I don’t know who she is talking about.’ That would still cost you 2-5 hundred dollars.

Good luck either way. Most of us have been there. If it’s any consolation they do this because they know inside that they screwed up a good thing and are trying to explain it through public lies.

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-10-24T12:58:16+00:00

Every unhappy ex is victim. Stop giving a fuck what she does. It's obvious she's still renting space in your head, and it's time to evict her.

pegleg_legal · 2021-10-25T02:19:52+00:00

Well, if there's a kernel of truth to what she's saying - any sort of going on the offensive and pushback would be a disaster. Then you're denying, minimizing, etc. Grey area doesn't work in your favor. To friends and family, I would say - yes, we had a problem and I've owned it - I thought we had settled it and moved past it but now she's using it for whatever purposes, I guess that's her right but she's blowing it out of proportion.

Not really much you can do unless she's fabricating it and you're ready for a shit storm.

TP_Crisis_2020 · 2021-10-25T06:23:42+00:00

I've been through this and have learned a healthy boundary around it. For me, I look at 2 things.

Will what she is saying affect any aspect of my life that involves:

My job
My family

If it doesn't meet either of those criteria, I literally don't give a single shit. Once it has the potential to affect how your family sees you, or somehow affect your job, then it's time to stand up for yourself with them and set the record straight.

oli_21_ · 2021-10-24T15:53:41+00:00

Forever the victim.

It's just gross.

My best advice......if someone reaches out to you don't overload with info. Be brief and honest. The less juicy details....the better. And that's all most are interested in.

Wonderful_Mango_4028 · 2021-10-24T22:06:27+00:00

I went thru this exact thing from my ex and even my daughter. I found saying “ there are two sides to every story” was a short response that raised enough doubt that I felt I had put it to rest. It seemed to work in most situations and as you will read over and over she is rewriting her story to justify her actions. Sucks but eventually you just won’t care as much

lkjaioi22jlkak23 · 2021-10-24T18:00:59+00:00

Document it and show it to lawyers.

Don't respond to any of your friends. Whatever you say can and will be used against you.

ColoradoRunner34 · 2021-10-24T19:13:24+00:00

Whatever you do, document everything.

akihonj · 2021-10-24T20:54:33+00:00

Why not ask your friends to spew the truth and let them out her for her lies..

If they are reporting this crap to you then call them on it as well, tell them you know the truth so why don't you tell the truth instead of telling me.

RStonePT · 2021-10-24T23:08:17+00:00

By engaging with it you make it real.

DMoss1616 · 2021-10-27T22:58:10+00:00

My wife told me she wanted a divorce on Monday and on Tuesday she is posting stuff about dating on Facebook.

Title	Ex posting to social media
Author	Competitive_Owl_2561
Upvotes	20
Comments	34
Date	October 24, 2021 12:38 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/qercw0/ex_posting_to_social_media/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/ex-posting-to-social-media.1082110 https://theredarchive.com/post/1082110

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