Not even close to divorced yet and she’s had another man in the house

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2021-12-23T05:10:23+00:00

I have been in that situation and understand how you feel. Remember: your wife having Mr.Wonderful is the best thing that can happen to you during divorce. These wives tend to sign most reasonable deals. Ensure you sign the right custody and financial deals with her. She isn’t your wife, she is lawsuit adversary. More she is distracted - better. Ensure that you think with your big head though.

Bipolar_investor · 2021-12-23T04:15:28+00:00

Tell her she can do it anywhere else. And that you don't care. Fuck her ( not literally ) your dick knows better than that now.

Bonersfollie · 2021-12-23T07:03:58+00:00

Start setting boundaries now. This was probably one of a few reasons my marriage didn’t work. Now every time I set a boundary it’s just as much bull shit from her, but I’m learning I don’t have to react emotionally that way anymore. I don’t have to care anymore.

I’m about 7 months from finalized date and I wish I would have put my foot down more. Stand up for yourself

yourmomshotvag · 2021-12-23T11:17:32+00:00

Been there bud. I know it’s terrible but you just have to turn off the emotional part of you and document everything you can. It’s not good for her in the divorce so the more proof you have of what she’s doing the better you are proving her shitty behavior in court. I’m sorry. There’s no consideration of you or children by her so fuck her the only way women understand-with money or ruining her chances of ruining you. Don’t reciprocate

Gattsama · 2021-12-23T04:54:35+00:00

3rd party looking in. What difference does it make. She is no longer your problem or responsibility. She is going to have sex, and have it in the house. Ask yourself why do you care? If possible move as quickly as possible into this woman is NOT anything to me. She is a human being that exists, I am temporary attached to her, but that attachment is soon coming to an end. Their life, their actions, their choices, etc mean nothing to me (unless it actually directly affects me).

I'm not 100% there, separated for about 2mo now. But working on getting there.

bombsquad1111 · 2021-12-23T05:20:15+00:00

My advice?

Dont do anything. Mine cheated on me, I moved out but continued to pay for the mortgage. She moved in some chad with no job, who ended up beating her and i took full custody of the kids.

Let nature run its course here. Its the best you can do.

JD-Anderson · 2021-12-23T21:52:09+00:00

It took me years to understand, to my ex, nothing is sacred. Once I realized that, it brought me great peace. If she pawns her wedding ring (I honestly don’t know if she still has it) to bail out her new boyfriend and then bang him on the bed we used to share I don’t care anymore. You can’t be angry for a shark to attack you if you’re swimming in the ocean, it’s the sharks nature, and this is her nature.

akihonj · 2021-12-23T08:05:27+00:00

If she's going to do that in your house then she needs to leave, she can do it anywhere else but not in the house. Make sure that you can present that as evidence she is exposing you and your kids to potential dangerous situations.

Classic_Overthinker · 2021-12-23T12:46:15+00:00

Yeah my ex wife had someone in my bed within a couple days of agreeing to a trial separation. Needless to say the trial became permanent pretty quickly. It's frustrating to say the least. But it did help validate my decision to give up and move on.

rsmiley77 · 2021-12-23T13:08:35+00:00

This happened to me. Walked in on them. Took video of me walking in on them. Yep they were in there playing house in a place neither could afford.

My advice collect evidence… put a cheap motion sensing camera in the house. It’s like 10 bucks a year to send everything to the cloud. Put all evidence in your back pocket just in case thing become tit for tat in court. My ex (who is a textbook 📕 narcissist) still fought like hell in court even though she was supposedly happy in her new relationship. Good luck. Sorry you’re going through this.

anonymizered · 2021-12-23T13:37:57+00:00

Thanks for all the replies. Still trying to stay cool and figure out how to play this. I think I’m an awesome dad and I do everything for my kids. Not sure about recording anything, I don’t want anything to paint me in a bad light, I know I’m held to a higher standard.

Rough-Area4765 · 2021-12-23T13:56:21+00:00

Just make sure you record all your interactions. If you confront her, she can claim domestic violence and have you kicked out of your house. She will then have the upper hand in the divorce.

It’s called the silver bullet. Her friends, family, attorney and new guy will all be telling her to do it.

She will do it. So be smart and record your conversations, all of them. Tell her you are recording the conversations and interactions. This way she can’t claim any laws being violated.

DV is an entire industry off of the divorce industry and there is a lot of money to be made.

TonLoc1281 · 2021-12-23T17:36:56+00:00

Bring it up in court. Maybe spinning this as a hazard to the children will help you with custody? Bringing flighty ‘flings’ around the children? Sorry man. Good luck!

tellmemorelies · 2021-12-28T04:08:42+00:00

This marriage is done bud. Let her play with her friends, you must concentrate on divorce and getting the best possible deal for yourself.

Keep her distracted and get the papers signed ASAP

anonymizered · 2021-12-31T12:42:53+00:00

Here’s a little update: I met the guy. Had a feeling something was up so I popped into my house when I wasn’t expected. He was sitting on my bed. I introduced myself and offered my hand. And he shook it and introduced himself. That was so bizarre. Man is she pissed.

Title	Not even close to divorced yet and she’s had another man in the house
Author	anonymizered
Upvotes	23
Comments	36
Date	December 23, 2021 3:05 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/rmlxje/not_even_close_to_divorced_yet_and_shes_had/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/not-even-close-to-divorced-yet-and-shes-had.1091085 https://theredarchive.com/post/1091085

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