He just cannot meet your standards. You are not asking for too much. 💜

Jaelismyhomegirl · 2022-01-05T14:43:57+00:00

And whenever people offer relationship advice to women, it’s always “jUsT cOmMuNiCaTe!”, as though she isn’t immediately going to be called needy or “high maintenance” when she does.

FluffandRainclouds · 2022-01-05T16:45:45+00:00

Women are gaslit on the reg from childhood: "he is mean to you on the playground because he likes you!"

In our teens and 20s, we are further gaslit with "he shows mixed signals because he was hurt in the past/is shy/is inexperienced/is so shocked by his feelings for you/is busy/etc BUT he really likes you!" Then we are shamed for being "needy" aka asking for something normal. Women's magazines, other media, friends, family members, and the mixed signal-men themselves perpetrate the status quo. No more.

MysteriousLife7 · 2022-01-05T04:46:08+00:00

Haven’t all women felt guilty because of this? From the dating phase, becoming exclusive, engagement to marriage, you always feel you’re too much over the entire romantic journey.

Some examples can be, asking your man you’d want to see him at least once a week, asking him to find and book a restaurant for your date, to get something for you on his grocery run, to do the laundry, make a meal, mow the lawn or watch the kids.

Do you feel like you have to browbeat him into doing it? Does he not do it willingly and lovingly for you? He is not your man. You do not need him.

Men who truly love you and care for you will proactively pay for your dinner, remember your anniversaries, celebrate personal and professional milestones with you, help you with chores, take care of the house and the children. All of these so that you’ll feel like your life is easier. They don’t want anything else besides seeing the woman they love being happy, relaxed and at ease. That is the only way that love speaks.

myheartisfulloflove · 2022-01-05T14:57:20+00:00

I don’t ask. I just state a preference or something I want or need done, and see how the man responds. If he’s like Goofy in the op’s picture, I will gracefully yet swiftly remove him from my life and that’s that. Never ask a man anything, especially not more than once.

diamond_pie · 2022-01-05T09:46:35+00:00

Or honestly guys find another guy. For every guy that you have to beg to do something; there is a guy that would be more than willing or happy. I dated a guy who ‘didn’t know you had to book restaurants’ and we turned up only to be turned away 😅 (probably on purpose). After that I dated a guy who if I said I liked Italian food he would spend a week researching the best Italian restaurant, read reviews, book the place and surprise me lol. Women need to get out of the scarcity mindset and feel like their asking too much!

I dated a guy who would never send me random gifts etc and then I spoke to a guy for a month who saw that the trains weren’t running that weekend and sent me money to get an Uber home. I didn’t say anything he was just naturally worried about how I’d get home. And we weren’t even together then.

For every stingy, non-caring, lazy scrote there is a guy that you don’t even need to ask. Rather than try and change someone and cry and settle, just start talking to someone new and dump the scrote lol 🤣🤣🤣🙏🏼

SnooEagles9138 · 2022-01-05T09:33:16+00:00

I dont communicate that I need more time with him.

Sorry,but if a guy is interested he wants to see you. What can someone really accomplish by stating this need? There is either intrinsic motivation or not and no communication ever will make him want to see you more. Sorry, but I prefer actions over (verbal) communication

tiavarga · 2022-01-05T16:22:56+00:00

plays church organ because every single post on here is preaching the gospel truth

justanothergirl4278 · 2022-01-05T17:04:44+00:00

One of my favorite quotes of all time is "the answer is never no, you're just asking the wrong person"

Someone, somewhere will give you what you want/are asking for.

modernmedusaa · 2022-01-05T11:03:41+00:00

Men : I want to be needed (Aka in control)

Also men : Too needy (I don’t want responsibility or connection)

mandoa_sky · 2022-01-05T09:19:10+00:00

it's a easy way to know the guy isn't serious, i reckon.

if you marry, you'll be seeing each other every day.

if once a week is too much, that's a platonic friendship at best.

LadiesOpinion · 2022-01-05T09:28:26+00:00

Saving this. Printing this. Putting this in my diary. Tattooing this on my soul.

This interaction happened to me and I submitted my needs to not appear 'clingy', convinced they just needed a bit more time to step up the intimacy. It never got better. They sure as shit didn't feel shame advocating their needs unapologetically, so I was always the one to adjust to them.

Never again will I sacrifice my needs for a 100% optional person I'm dating. I betrayed myself everytime I diminished myself.

pickadaisy · 2022-01-05T04:56:23+00:00

I love this, thank you.

Title	He just cannot meet your standards. You are not asking for too much. 💜
Author	MysteriousLife7
Upvotes	1691
Comments	21
Date	January 5, 2022 4:41 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/rwebea/he_just_cannot_meet_your_standards_you_are_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/he-just-cannot-meet-your-standards-you-are-not.1094547 https://theredarchive.com/post/1094547

Comments