Is It O.K. to Press Your Spouse to Have a Vasectomy Before You Ditch Him? (Published 2018) | Woman pushes husband for a vasectomy while secretly planning to divorce him afterwards. Plot twist: she works for "an organization dedicated to reproductive choice and plans to work as a counselor"

holalesamigos · 2022-01-13T11:55:05+00:00

What the hell.

PaineintheBurke · 2022-01-13T11:56:08+00:00

https://web.archive.org/web/20181002113718/https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/02/magazine/is-it-ok-to-press-your-spouse-to-have-a-vasectomy-before-you-ditch-him.html

EricAllonde · 2022-01-13T11:03:27+00:00

Yet another data point confirming that, so far as the large majority of society is concerned, reproductive rights are only for women.

This abuse only generates a tiny fraction of the outrage it would cause if the genders were reversed.

Wylanderuk · 2022-01-13T14:36:32+00:00

Two reasons that spring to mind for doing this, to try and fuck up his future relationships and make sure there is less chance of any resources she manages to screw him out of in the divorce can't be reassigned.

Or maybe use the vasectomy against him during custody battles.

So make that 3 possible reasons.

dixieStates · 2022-01-13T16:32:59+00:00

My ex-wife tried to do that to me. She pushed and pushed but I held my ground. I learned later that she and her mother were secretly plotting to initiate divorce proceedings.

hardcoretuner · 2022-01-13T12:22:37+00:00

No. That's not a good thing to do. Anyone who does this is a horrible person.

Huffers1010 · 2022-01-13T12:06:57+00:00

To be fair the response described it as "appallingly manipulative," which it is, and the person writing in is only doing so because she thinks it's awful too.

Horrendous situation, but the response by the only two people we're actually hearing from is refreshingly appropriate.

ImplodedPotatoSalad · 2022-01-13T12:55:37+00:00

Well, a woman thats fucked up and just evil....how was that, local feminists? "Thst doesnt happen"? ;)

AbysmalDescent · 2022-01-13T15:33:55+00:00

That is an incredibly fucked up thing to do. He got the vasectomy because his partner told him that she didn't want to have kids, telling him she was planning to stay for the long run but knowing she was going to leave. Not only did she mislead him and break his trust but she effectively denied him the opportunity to ever be a father with anyone else as well. Maybe the next woman he meets his younger and wants to have kids. I don't know if this is just a preemptively vindictive move but it's absolutely disgusting. If a man gets a vasectomy for a woman, that is a huge sacrifice. It's effectively giving up a significant part of what makes him valuable as a man in a relationship, or even arguably a huge part of what defines him a man. Not something to just take for granted. Absolutely disgusting.

omegaphallic · 2022-01-13T15:02:33+00:00

I hope he brings what she did up during divorce proceedings.

InvestigatorOk5602 · 2022-01-13T17:26:02+00:00

What a piece of the nastiest shit this woman is.

Moistcowparts · 2022-01-13T22:00:57+00:00

This actually happened to a guy i worked with as well, already had kids with her but couldnt have any with his new wife because of it, he was very bitter

PaineintheBurke · 2022-01-13T23:45:12+00:00

Ok as somebody who's very Child Free, this is fucking predatory. You're not letting him choose, you're trying to force him into a decision he may not agree with just to fuck him over.

throwaway3569387340 · 2022-01-13T16:56:35+00:00

LOL.

I got snipped because the woman I had been with for 6 years and was planning on marrying didn't want more kids. She cheated on me and 6 months later was pregnant.

Luckily it was still a good decision for me (I already have kids) but anyone who does this to their partner is playing with fire.

EDIT: Laughing because I thought I was the only chump who would agree to this.

red_philosopher · 2022-01-13T17:32:43+00:00

She has a duty to disclose this gross ethical misconduct to any regulatory or professional organization. Besides, who wants someone like that as a friend?

_THE_asshole · 2022-01-13T19:56:51+00:00

Did the fucking response actually tell the questioner that just because she made this poor choice about reproductive rights doesn't mean she will make it about others and that she should just keep her mouth shut about her friends poor choice and move on.....the responder also slams the husband without knowing any details about the man at all...

What the fuck is this trash.

vwatchrepair · 2022-01-13T16:40:19+00:00

"mY bOdY mY cHoIcE!!"

What happened to that? 🤔🤔🤔

Oz70NYC · 2022-01-13T15:23:56+00:00

Jokes on her. A Vasectomy can be reversed. Buddy of mine had one done when he married his 1st wife, cuz she didn't want kids. She cheated on him AND got pregnant by her side dude. My buddy divorced her immediately and wasn't on the hook for the kid cuz he got snipped. Bitch tried to contest on the 1% chance that a little soldier can slip through, so when the baby was born they DNA tested it...100% not his kid. She walks away with nothing from the divorce.

Fast forward 4 years later he remarried. New wife wants LOTS of kids. He gets the procedure reversed, they're pregnant within a month of trying. They now have 3 kids. He makes it his duty to flaunt his kids on social so the ex wife sees how awesome a dad he is. Meanwhile her lover wanted no part of being a dad, and was a dusty ass to begin with. So she's struggling. 42 with a 12 year old and unable to secure a dude who doesn't smash and dash.

2022-01-13T15:08:11+00:00

This is absolutely fucked up and whoever thinks that this is fine is a monster. I can understand a woman breaking up with a man after he did a vasectomy. But planning to break up with him while pushing him to do a vasectomy is something else.

shoretel230 · 2022-01-13T20:53:52+00:00

The explaining away that the NYT writer makes in the 3rd paragraph is crazy to me.

Nobody would ever, or should ever, defend a man who would manipulate a woman to get her tubes tied and then divorce her.

This hypocrite should be outed. If you're not living your values at an organization that is espousing specific values, you shouldn't be working there.

blaizken_420 · 2022-01-13T20:19:24+00:00

What the fuck

Mythandros · 2022-01-14T01:02:27+00:00

First of all, what the fuck?!

Second of all, that's fucking disgusting.

JamesBoyle123 · 2022-01-13T15:30:47+00:00

how disgusting...imagine a man doing this to a woman and the worldwide outrage that the enemy media would garner from it.

CyrexPlex · 2022-01-13T16:36:10+00:00

Wow...

Acceptance of assault based on gender. Wonder if title was "is it ok to have your spouse get her tubes tied before you ditch her?"

EpicVen · 2022-01-14T00:10:09+00:00

Disgusting woman.

2022-01-13T22:50:59+00:00

My ex did this with me, not about getting snipped though, but to go back to school. She begged me to quite my job and go back to school. After some time I did. She asked for a divorce an hour before I went to bed for the first final.

She planned the whole thing, even said she wanted to break up for a year but "had to wait for the right time". The right time was making sure I had no income and spent all my money on school.

Women can be fucking insanely evil in relationships, it's kind of gross how they are always championed, there are plenty of women out there capable of doing some very horrible, life changing shit. They just play the whole it's not physical violence card (this is why they harp on this subject so much, to play off physical trumps all other abuse), but in many cases their stunts are way worse than getting your ass kicked.

Shit, I was a small dude in HS, I got the shit kicked out of me all the time. Did no where near the damage as my divorce.

jinladen040 · 2022-01-13T13:25:02+00:00

I mean if she wanted to work in Planned Parenthood, she's got the right mindset that's for goddamned sure so Its honestly no wonder it was a such a Trivial decision for her imo, knowing her future line of work. Which is likely her Career now and its no wonder Planned Parenthood performs record breaking Abortions each her with such fine employees like this.

Her reasoning "He can barely manage the kids he has, so she doesnt want him to be distracted by more children" What? You're leaving him, how the fuck is that going to be any business of yours if he wants kids with a future partner, yet you adovate for "Reproductive Choice". Then the she responds to his anger about revealing the decision to divorce after the vasectomy by saying to him that "She was pretty sure that women aren't going to be interested in having children with someone his age anyway". Imo, this was just a way she could maintain control over him after the divorce, it guarenteed her Alimoney and Child Support because he certainly isn't going to be spending that money on potential future children.

Admiralthrawnbar · 2022-01-14T00:33:52+00:00

Short answer, no, long answer, if you even have to ask you are a terrible human being.

terramir3 · 2022-01-14T01:05:51+00:00

I dunno maybe she didn't want to share support with some future kids??? If I was him I would get micro surgery and have ten kids just so her support check becomes 20 bucks a month lol

NeoNotNeo · 2022-01-13T17:48:31+00:00

When would it be OK

How is the NY times not ashamed of that headline.

Normal-Yogurtcloset5 · 2022-01-13T21:41:00+00:00

I wonder what this woman’s response would be if a man had his wife get her tubes tied and then divorced him? If I were in the friend’s position I would have told the husband the truth. Hopefully, he’d find out before going through with the procedure.

Mongoose_Stew · 2022-01-13T23:02:38+00:00

" she felt that he could barely manage to parent the children they had and that she didn’t want him to be distracted by more kids."

Translation: She didn't want him to have more kids because it would lessen the child support payments.

MDot_Cartier · 2022-01-13T13:42:34+00:00

So let me get this straight....she works for planned parenthood AND SHES A SADIST😲

SHOCKING

Kaylarmagic · 2022-01-13T19:07:09+00:00

WTF?! THEIR BODY THEIR CHOICE APPLIES TO EVERYONE.

ShiZniT3 · 2022-01-13T20:10:49+00:00

dudes... never get vasectomies. ever. buy boxes of plan b and condoms instead if you dont want pregnancies.

Myahmans · 2022-01-13T23:30:49+00:00

There's a word for this: Eugenics

This is literal fucking proof that feminism is going towards eugenics and nobody's going to be tapping on the breaks at any time.

To quote a glorious meme originating from 4chan: Hans, get the flammenwerfer.

2022-01-13T16:53:30+00:00

Gurl, what?

2022-01-13T22:46:29+00:00

Imagine if the roles were reversed

That bitch should burn in hell

darknessblae · 2022-01-13T19:30:11+00:00

I just can't today I'm not strong enough

2022-01-13T20:54:30+00:00

There ya have it, boys -- another reason to rush out and get married as soon as possible!

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-01-13T22:26:30+00:00

Plot twist: she works for "an organization dedicated to reproductive choice and plans to work as a counselor"

The editorial response is right on this though.

If a complaint was made, absolutely nothing would happen about it. Nothing.

Mongoose_Stew · 2022-01-13T22:59:43+00:00

Damn. That bitch was evil.

RobStonman · 2022-01-13T23:55:36+00:00

Why did she want him to do that though? What does she care? She won't be in his life anymore. Is she crazy?

2022-01-14T00:05:08+00:00

My ex tried to convince me to get one. We probably would’ve broken up eventually if I had tried to stay anyway.

vhisic · 2022-01-14T00:51:47+00:00

is it ok?

no its fucking messed up. If you do this you are a psychopath

TracyMorganFreeman · 2022-01-14T01:50:42+00:00

Well it's legal, but it's cruel and shitty.

Still, you could try suing her.

kapriece · 2022-01-14T02:26:01+00:00

Sounds like she wanted to make sure he wouldn't have another kid thus keeping whatever CS she gets the same. A lot of women don't know that if you have more children it reduces child support paid to each mother. It depends on the state as well. Some of these 304s play the long game and we never see it coming. But but believe all Wahmen and they would never do anything like that. At least he wont be taken advantage of by the CS system when his sentence is served.

criolle · 2022-01-14T03:15:13+00:00

If he has more children, his child-support and attention could be divided into smaller parts.
By preventing future offspring, she ensures maximum attention (and funding) to her own offspring.

needalife94 · 2022-01-14T05:38:17+00:00

NO......... NO IT'S NOT.

Distorted_Passion · 2022-01-14T06:15:26+00:00

The answer is no and she should be prosecuted because she literally planned this.

DecimatingDarkDeceit · 2022-01-14T11:29:43+00:00

Summary: Woman literally enforcing HL2 - Suppression field ~ {on Men}. Manipulating man to have operations that should entirely left to men's own decision

TendieDinner777 · 2022-01-15T06:59:44+00:00

Would have been dead before the article was written, swear to god.

BaconCatBug · 2022-01-16T04:51:28+00:00

I mean, any man who actually wants to start a family in todays world is insane, in my book.

nameku17 · 2022-02-06T23:10:16+00:00

Depending on the type of vasectomy I think it can be reversed, but I have no context in this case.

CheesecakeFar2741 · 2022-05-26T14:20:27+00:00

She didn't force him to, he made the decision on his own. They are also reversible most of the time. A lot of cry baby victims in here trying to equate this to "abuse". A grown man can make his own decisions.

Comments

SHOCKING