I’ve been posting here for a while as I work through my divorce, but I got word today that it’s a done deal. Signed and finished. I’m fully divorced now.

I had an easier path to divorce than most here. Probably easier than anyone who is reading this. We spent less than $5K on attorneys, worked out a deal that was acceptable to everyone, and I’m paying no maintenance/alimony and I’m paying a small child support payment that is about 3% of my take home pay.

From the time we decided to divorce until today, it was less than 3 months. These are all ideal and I know far from the experiences I read about here.

But it’s not all rainbows and unicorns… my ex (man it feels good to type that) is still living here for another week. We’ve lived together the whole time we decided to divorce. She has already met a new boyfriend and she spends the night with him a few days a week. The nights she’s gone are my favorite nights. In a week, she’ll never stay here again. I cannot wait.

She’s been a little hostile and aggressive and controlling with me during these months. My priority has been to keep a calm, quiet house for the kids’ sake. So I don’t push back or fight or argue. I roll over, play dead, say “yes ma’am”, power through. Once she’s out of the house, I’ll create and reinforce boundaries but for the next week, I’ll do whatever is easiest to get this thing done in a reasonable, calm, satisfying way.

I haven’t felt a touch of sadness for some time now. I was hopelessly sad for 4 or 5 days after deciding to divorce, but since then, all I feel is relief, joy, and excitement. Tonight, as I sip on my celebratory bourbon, I am thinking about my upcoming good times, how to “reset” my home once my ex leaves, and prepare for my new life which is now much closer than ever.

Even though my experience has been much easier than most here, I am still fully turned off on the prospect of marrying again, or even having a long-term relationship. I’m happy alone. I like it. As I reflect on my last 15 years with my ex (12 married), I see a high-maintenance and difficult marriage where I surrendered and sacrificed so much for a woman who insisted I do it, but resented me for it. I’m thrilled to live my life for me now.

I’m enjoying a few drinks tonight and celebrating this milestone.

I hope someone else out there reading this is also having a good night full of good news.