This is the advice my therapist gave me in high school when I mentioned that my friends and I sometimes met up with our group of male counterparts late at night. We'd usually meet at our high school since none of us had cars or houses of our own. These meetups were surprisingly innocent given that our male friends were of the skater/stoner variety. (We'd play Sharks and Minos on the football field or Hide and Go Seek, in case you were wondering.) And so at the time, I disregarded this advice. It's only in hindsight that I see instances of when following this advice would have saved a lot of heartache.

For example, boys initiating text conversations late a night only to ask for nudes. If I said no or stopped responding I would get bombarded with messages like 'pls, i need it, cmon,' etc until I finally relented. Or being asked to meet up by a group of boys because the shopkeepers won't expect a girl to steal alcohol. The catalyst for my radical life change was being sexually assaulted by multiple boys while I was blackout drunk-- the product of no parental oversight, inexperience with alcohol, 'friendships' with evil boys, and me agreeing to text and meetup with males after 10pm.

I was in high school when these things happened and I don't blame myself, but I do take these events seriously and I've learned from them. Which of us doesn't have stories of being pressured by men under the cover of moonlight?

As an adult, I've applied this rule to my life in more ways than one (and the times I've ignored it have only hindered my lifestyle). As women in the world, dating or otherwise, I suggest we all adopt this rule.

No, I will not go out after 10 pm to meet for a drink or 'hangout' (obvious signs of a booty call)

No, I will not answer my phone after 10pm. I don't care why you're texting. It can wait until tomorrow.

No, I won't stay out past 10pm. This is a new application of the rule I'm trying out after some undesirable experiences at 'the club.' I've found that while dancing with my girlfriends is fun, it isn't worth being followed, touched, and harassed by men who haven't showered and think showing up to the club in zip-up hoodies and stained jeans is acceptable. (If we don't know each other, why the fuck are you touching me?)

I also apply this rule to female friendships, especially the early stages. If we're still getting to know each other then we can do that during the day or early evening. I have no idea why women would think I want to meet them at some dive bar at 11pm and drink tequila.

Protect your time. Protect your peace. Go to sleep early and wake up the following morning feeling refreshed, healthy, and ready to slay the day. Do not sacrifice your time, energy, or body for male attention/validation.