Is being good with women and sex just something you're born with like height? you either have it or you don't?

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-05-24T10:16:17+00:00

No incl content

HazyMemory7 · 2022-05-24T03:30:57+00:00

Some people naturally have higher emotional intelligence, but social skills are learned behaviors that can be improved upon. So no. As a person of color who is 5'7, that is the biggest challenge you face. It's difficult to learn and improve your social skills when you don't get as many opportunities to make mistakes and learn from them. Stuff that dictates physical attractiveness (being fit, grooming, style) can help you get more opportunities.

I'm pretty funny and charming but struggled to pick up social cues and didn't do very well with women growing up, but I put myself out there and learned through a lot of trial and error. Being very candid and direct in communication also helps to alleviate deficiencies in picking up social cues.

MickIsBlue · 2022-05-24T03:12:41+00:00

It can be learned.

But women strongly prefer if you know it. With the rampant degeneracy nowadays, many women won’t wait around for you to learn, as it signals you don’t get it much. They’ve likely already been with men who do, which only highlights your inability to perform.

wingbark · 2022-05-24T03:06:00+00:00

Yes but it can be learned.

MrMushySauce · 2022-05-24T03:19:23+00:00

Ahhhh. Alright. So

Firstly I will say I know a guy of pretty much every description who has done well with girls at one point or another in his life. This isn't to say every man does well or that every man can do as well as every other man--but if you learn to play an angle right, if you live a life that's attractive, if you socialize... you will get, at the least, better results than a lot of guys. In most cases not all.

As far as whether you're "born good with women" or not--it can go either way. I consider myself, overall, pretty good with women and even knowing me it really depends what you consider being "born with it." I was born pretty quick-thinking, back in kindergarten all through elementary school to now at 24 people have commented on that. But I had to learn to turn that into a useful skill for flirting. I wasn't good at that until ~19-20.

I was born good-looking but I had to accentuate that in the gym. Was it destiny or effort?

And same can be said for a lot of guys I know. Born smart but turned it into $/lifestyle, born XYZ but became ZYX... you get the idea.

When I say "learn to play your angle," what I mean is pretty much everyone has skills, hobbies, interests, quirks, etc--that are unique to them. Learn to tap into what you have that girls seek. I know a couple dudes who practically play the role of girls' gay best friend because they're unattractive and feminine looking/acting. They fuck a fair amount of girls that way, no lie. It's super fucking niche, weird strategy I could never get away with trying to pull--but hey, it works for those motherfuckers lol.

Yes, there are guys who slay every girl at your HS, at their college, and then at your workplace. I know one from my HS. But for every one of him, I know ten dudes who can tell you about a time they were ass with women until they figured it out some. How early or late in life that "aha" moment hits can't really be controlled, but you just gotta do your best

roguish_rogue · 2022-05-24T03:22:46+00:00

Obviously not, its learned behavior, sometimes learned early and subconciously but still learned, naturally high testosteron level helps alot though.

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-05-24T04:01:22+00:00

Being good with women can be learned, the biggest thing that always helped me was talkin to waitresses without the intent of hitting on them, you see what jokes work , you learn how to read body language, a good way to spot red flags, the timing of a conversation, when she wants you to keep talkin, when she wants you to shut the fuck up etc., like anything else it's a skill that can be learned.

Now there is a difference between the communication skill that can be learned and Charisma, high levels of charisma cannot be taught, but I do believe that we all have a certain level of charisma that we can maximize and used to our advantage

As far as the being good at sex part, again another skill, with sex there's tangibles and intangibles the tangible parts that you can learn are getting better at thrusting, exercises to help, cunnilingus techniques, dirty talk, stamina etc., the intangible parts or things like chemistry, and communication, etc., things that would be unique to the woman and y'all's relationship

Reasonable-Push-9422 · 2022-05-24T06:01:04+00:00

Being popular with women is like a talent. You either have it or you don’t.

All the guys and women saying that it can be learned, are ignoring the fact that any guy who ’learns’ will be incredibly bitter and most likely give up on women or start actually hating them if it works, though they’re just as likely to start hating women if it doesn’t.

SwaySh0t · 2022-05-24T06:12:47+00:00

Most men that are good with women had to fuck around and find out. I spent my teens being a creep cold approaching women in the mall with the boys. the lessons we learned were invaluable especially by the time we got to college and in our 20’s, none of us have Issues with dating or getting sex.

Cataclysma324 · 2022-05-24T04:04:29+00:00

this is why I have my flair up as the context is important. If your state is so bad, I am also a virgin and not by choice, and according to men on the internet I supposedly have no excuse. Maybe. But if it's so easy I should still have a gf anyway right?

MickIsBlue · 2022-05-24T05:23:24+00:00

Most aren't born being good with women. Most of the guys you see who are really good with women had lots of early success with women. If you see a guy picking up women as a 25 year old. There's a pretty good chance he was getting girls in college, or highschool

2022-05-24T09:44:51+00:00

No. While it might come more naturally to some, handling women is a skill, and like all skills, it must be learned by practice and can only be mastered by experience.

sernamedeleted · 2022-05-24T03:08:33+00:00

Healthy relationships are based on open and honest communication between mature consenting adults who treat each other with respect and share common interests and compatible life goals.

Do that.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-05-24T03:11:40+00:00

I remember taking freshman pledges, and helping them go from smart and enthusiastic but rough around the edges, to “damn, bro: now help me get your girls roommate’s number!” Most dudes just need to find their swagger, whatever it might be. Problem is not everyone has got a crew of bros to help mentor them, but also give them a shove when they need it or pull them back a bit when they need that too.

2022-05-24T03:45:46+00:00

There are extensive guides available online.

It's really like talent

People tend to excuse away good performance by others in various fields as "natural talent"

It's actually just hard work

RottingVillain666 · 2022-05-24T06:20:07+00:00

There are 3.5b women and men. Before meeting my bf, i fucked a shit ton of femboys, twinks and transmales. Thing is, there are infinite people. It’s mostly trial and error. I usually get to know the person for a little bit ( here direct approsch is considered a huge red flag, i live in italy ), and then develope pick up lines and stuff exactly for them to make them fall and look the perfect guy. Always put on a mask and know multiple people eachtime. If one fails, you can use them to get vouched for more people.

AutoModerator · 2022-05-24T03:01:58+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Puzzleheaded_Bet7294 · 2022-05-24T04:01:59+00:00

Since you’re a short ethnic guy, you’ll most likely be excluded from contributing to the gene pool, and for good reason. It’s just Darwinism. A lot of Indians only made it to modern times because of arranged marriage

wouldbepandananny · 2022-05-24T04:12:11+00:00

It's really more of a goodness of fit type thing.

IHaveSalesQuestions · 2022-05-24T05:22:05+00:00

It can be learned. I remember being a kid and going to Barnes and nobles and reading sex books and learning about women and their bodies. I mean like 12 or 13. Just take an interest and don’t be afraid to fuck up like anything else in life. Also have fun. You’ll eventually get good with time and practice.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-05-24T05:45:18+00:00

get better at sex which in turn attracts more women.

How so? I don't think getting better at sex means you attract more women really. Hard to know how good someone is in bed unless you've.. you know... actually been in bed with them

But yes good social circles are required for anyone who's not attractive already/has the ability to become so.

I'd say make sure you always grow your circle. If you play video games quit and go out more. Meet more guys with mixed gender friend groups

jah-roole · 2022-05-24T06:34:16+00:00

No, it isn’t.

Snowbattt · 2022-05-24T07:10:39+00:00

Considering my physique which isn't all too bad, I guess I'm just born without it. Like completely without it.

Other_Revolution_635 · 2022-05-24T10:15:18+00:00

It can be learned with practice. But there is one crucial thing. You can only be good with women who are attracted to you. In other words, she must like your looks first.

You need two things: improve your looks to your absolut best, specially your face, and focus on girls who have similar looks to yours (short ethnic indian girls).

With those women being attracted to you, you will become more expecienced and better with women.

AelfredRex · 2022-05-24T10:30:44+00:00

Having more sex does not make one good at sex. The willingness to please your partner makes you good at sex. Just have that and you got most men beat.

Title	Is being good with women and sex just something you're born with like height? you either have it or you don't?
Author	awakened900
Upvotes	14
Comments	67
Date	May 24, 2022 3:01 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/uwh78t/is_being_good_with_women_and_sex_just_something/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-being-good-with-women-and-sex-just-something.1118767 https://theredarchive.com/post/1118767

Comments