How the hell to date with a kid.

GrayCalf · 2022-09-27T00:51:29+00:00

Be happy you have all that time with your kid. Many here would kill for the opportuinity to spend that much time with their children.

Cmpleteconfusion1 · 2022-09-27T12:49:13+00:00

Maybe we should ask my wife this question. That whore found a way to date with a kid AND a husband!

James1933-75 · 2022-09-27T02:02:18+00:00

Sir, you need to pace yourself, you shouldn't be that deflated.

BlackHoleSlurpy · 2022-09-27T01:10:01+00:00

I had full custody of our kids and dating was out of the question as the mom didn't come around too often. But, the weekends she did I would get out just to enjoy myself and get my head cleared.

Since you have every other week off you should be able to date. When we moved to week in-week off custody I would date others that had the same situation. Both of my main girlfriends had week on-week off, too, so it was pretty convenient.

her_dog_is_odd · 2022-09-27T03:55:15+00:00

Ended up dating one of my kids’ friend’s mom. Oh, the girls wanna hang out? Sounds good ;)

Certain-Line-6351 · 2022-09-27T02:50:22+00:00

If your kids are little don’t bother dating.

Just have a few female FwB in the same situation. (But don’t tell them that lol).

Stalkmoney · 2022-09-27T02:01:24+00:00

Easy to prepare meals, or even preprepped/frozen delivery services, clothes planning and prep for the week, maid, lawn care services. You can trim a lot of time and stress down with changes that suit your lifestyle.

cormacpara · 2022-09-27T03:40:13+00:00

Right there with you sir! Still haven’t figured that part out yet. I have 2 gorgeous littles and also going through a career transition. In time perfection will fade away and the important things will become more clear. Eg. your health (mental too), your priorities and what really gives you joy.

qns4l · 2022-09-27T03:48:56+00:00

I feel your pain. I hardly have any time to date. During the work week I try to do as much errands I can after work. When the weekend comes I take care of laundry and cooking. Then I would pick up my kid have lunch and dinner. It’s so hard to find time to date.

MomentSpecialist2020 · 2022-09-27T00:50:41+00:00

Can’t take a whole week to recover. Find a baby sitter.

Current_Tonight4140 · 2022-09-27T05:35:57+00:00

I hope my son never ever dates again!

2022-09-27T08:03:03+00:00

How old are the children? I have ideas and I'm very good at this.

DM me

76ersPhan11 · 2022-09-27T09:03:06+00:00

Well if you ask my ex her solution is to move her boyfriend into her house after a few months of dating. Hard to believe when she tells me our son is her main priority.

Clarkbar2 · 2022-09-27T12:22:35+00:00

Focus on taking care of yourself and your house/kiddo/well being, and being patient. It’ll all work out. Have your kid help you with some of those chores you put off perhaps, make a game out of it.

RideATX · 2022-09-27T14:04:38+00:00

Its funny but a lot of the things you're stressing about can be alleviated by having a good woman in your life. My GF cooks and cleans my house when my kids aren't with me, she does some little things that I don't think about but makes it special for the kids (decorations for holidays, birthday donuts letters that spell out their names, Easter baskets etc...) It takes time to find a good girl, so in the interim hire a maid. If you have a whole week off, one or two dates shouldn't be that draining...

azwildcat74 · 2022-09-27T14:28:31+00:00

I have 50% a week at a time with two little girls and have no problem dating in my week off. If you're this tired and unable to do anything with your YOU time that's a lot more about you than it is your circumstances.

Prograeme-exe · 2022-09-27T14:30:15+00:00

Babysitter.

It ain't cheap.

Don't beat yourself up, if you need YOU time (in whatever form) get it. Your child will be better off if you're happy.

But if ya broke like me... Then focus on that haha

ryanro24 · 2022-09-27T14:45:51+00:00

I love how everyone commenting here assumes that everyone works straight days. I have 50/50 with my ex wife. I work swing shift. Days one week. Afternoons the next. I have my kids for 7 days on my week of day shift. And my ex has them for 7 days when I work my week of afternoons. It's basically impossible for me to find time to even think about dating.

My week with the kids all of my time is consumed by them and work.

When I work afternoons and I'm kid free I have a few hours in the morning to myself and then I work until 11pm.

I've given up on the idea of being able to have a relationship at this point.

-NukeX- · 2022-09-27T16:57:49+00:00

I'm nowhere near ready to date, but I see what you are saying. I'm in the same 50/50 boat, so when I have my kids, it's all about the kids. I have zero time for myself except for when they go to bed around 7:15. I take that hour or so to unwind by playing video games, watching netflix, or talking with friends on the phone. I've started cooking big meals on Sundays when I do have the kids, and I involve them in the cooking. They actually enjoy that, and it's a way to spend time with them, and get something done. We eat it through the week until I'm sick of it, and then vacuum seal leftovers and toss in our big freezer. You do that enough times, and you have several big meals to pick from to make life easier.

I know what you mean about being exhausted and trying to catch up on chores when they are not around. I try to do some during the times I have them, and get them involved, so I don't have a lot to do when I don't have them. I usually reserve Sundays for that. I've caught myself just being mentally tired during the week when I don't have them, and would just sit around and veg. I've made a change to start going out by myself and learning to enjoy time alone. Here is where you can try to start dating. Just have to get out of the mindset that I don't have the energy to get out and about. Once you do get out, you get that second burst of energy and it becomes normal. I'm taking myself out tomorrow to sushi downtown, then a comedy club solo. I'm also planning a hike for myself later this week too.

Greadle · 2022-09-27T17:30:01+00:00

When i tried, i found that every woman was wanting more than I was willing to give. They are quick to start rebuilding what they once had or establish what they never had.

Don’t ask to meet my kids after a couple months. I don’t want to meet yours. The worst thing you can do is start playing house with someone and falls apart in three years. Your kids will pay the price. I figure every minute i’m not building up my kids, I’m building up myself to be better for them. Every minute I give to someone else or someone else’s kids, is wasted.

You can get what you need in short bursts when you’re able. But theres no sense in beating yourself up about it. Work on you, for the kid.

ToddHaberdasher · 2022-09-27T17:43:12+00:00

It's an 18 year dry spell, but it does end.

warrior_up · 2022-09-27T18:30:09+00:00

I have three boys, dating a 27yr old with no kids. She does all the grocery shopping and nurtures my balls on command. Just gotta find the right none my man, start with many that way you have grocery’s and a clean house

Jbr74 · 2022-09-28T16:00:53+00:00

Your kids are much better than some piece of ass.

Get a hooker, cheaper than a girlfriend, and sure shit cheaper than a wife.

Doesn't nag, always puts out, and goes home.

CommanderOfCheese45 · 2022-09-28T21:40:13+00:00

I started out feeling that way.

Then I realized that casual dating can be a way to recharge. It would give me something to look forward to.

Title	How the hell to date with a kid.
Author	qazinus
Upvotes	24
Comments	32
Date	September 27, 2022 12:16 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/xp0pym/how_the_hell_to_date_with_a_kid/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-the-hell-to-date-with-a-kid.1133761 https://theredarchive.com/post/1133761

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