CMV: Myth of Online "dating" ruining the SMV: It was bad in the 1990s already

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-10-23T14:02:00+00:00

So you are saying that it’s been bad for 30 years yet there aren’t a bunch of dudes in their 40s or 50s around complaining about it. Or online. Or on YouTube or social media. Just a bunch of teens and 20 year olds. So either they figured it out or we have been fine for decades with some dudes struggling till, what? Where did they go?

Complex-Glass-8539 · 2022-10-23T15:47:50+00:00

Dude, the 90’s involved women thinking the feminist thing to do was take every guy that caught their attention when both were wasted and fuck his brains out.

I lived through it, in high school, if you got invited to parties with any regularity, the “virgin” girls gave out blowjobs like it was a hug. In college I turned down more women than I slept with. My troll looking best mate who was awkward af with women had girls that basically took him home because the rest of us said no, she spent too much time talking to our group and she was hell bent on getting laid that night. Yeah, probably not the best feeling for him, but seriously, he probably had no more than a 4 month dry spell throughout college and some of these girls would give him multiple runs out of pure boredom….and that led to him getting experience, and getting more comfortable with women so after college he wasn’t so damn awkward and actually found a decent woman who wanted him.

Flat out, women drank more and had more sex which included more impulsive hookups in the 90’s/00’s.

If a woman wanted sex, she couldn’t open up an online menu, she had to go down to a bar and pick the best she could get, which for most girls was just the first guy who approached them.

This was very good for men, and honestly, I think it was good for a lot of women too. The judgement of liberal women on women today who enjoy doing this is pretty sharp. Women today have this predatory, victim mindset, and they are lonelier than their older counterparts as well. Maybe their decline in life satisfaction and happiness isn’t as sharp, but it’s a decline none the less.

NJFlowerchild · 2022-10-23T14:26:28+00:00

The average age of marriage for women in 1980 was 22 and was 24 by 1990. In 2017 it was 27.4.

29.6% of men never married in 1980. As of 2017 it was 34.9%. Women that never married in 1980 was 22.5% and it's risen to 29.3% in 2017. That's more of a rise for women not marrying.

Your facts are made up. Source: CDC data

BigZaddyZ3 · 2022-10-23T14:20:06+00:00

Things like AF/BB always existed. We’re just more aware of it now. Which I guess fits well into your overall point (none of this is new, just new to us).

But it’s not realistic to think that instagram/dating apps haven’t had any impact. It’s just that they didn’t create the so-called “problems”. They just made us more of what we already were.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-10-23T15:10:12+00:00

Online dating was already a thing in the 90s. There weren't apps, but there were YahooPersonals and AOL.

I was married at 21 and I highly do not recommend it. Younger marriages are more likely to end in divorce - mine did. Your brain doesn't fully form till 25. In some areas you aren't even allowed to rent a car until 25. Certainly your finances are not strong that young.

On a positive note, many of the women I knew in the 90s who were in our tiny scene married the men that they were partying with back then and are still together almost 30 years later. We were definitely not frat people though. We were goth club people. So a certain niche.

KingOnixTheThird · 2022-10-23T22:01:41+00:00

My dad was a young man and single in the 80s and 90s. He was pretty average looking; he was about 5 ft 10, had an average looking face, and was white. Pretty much the average American guy.

Dad was never a "Don Juan" who was really good with the ladies but he had an okay dating experience. He had a couple girlfriends between the ages of 18-25, before meeting my mom at 27, getting married at 28, then having me at 30.

What my dad had going for him was above average intelligence and an above average potential for earning capacity, which made him a viable dating candidate, especially for a woman who was ready to settle down (which my mom was). He also didn't have any apparent flaws which put him at a disadvantage dating wise. He wasn't extremely short, he wasn't overweight, he wasn't a minority, and he didn't have a major disability (such as autism, schizophrenia, etc...) which negatively affected his sexual market value.

Had my dad grown up today in the 2020s, in the era of online dating, I don't know how that would have impacted his success dating wise. I don't think he would have been a total loser with girls, and I think he would have found someone eventually. I also doubt my dad would have been super successful with online dating, but I do think he may have met a girl or two from there.

In a nutshell, my dad is pretty much in the "normie tier" dating wise. Dating isn't super easy for him, but I doubt it will be super hard either.

NockerJoe · 2022-10-23T15:27:42+00:00

Meh. 90's sexual struggles were not the same thing. Lets not forget the incel community is from this period and was founded by a woman who couldn't get laid either, ans was also populated by many such women.

I would say that while a woman could probably hit the party scene with more ease there were still a whole lot of women who just weren't there and weren't getting any attention either. The big difference is with social media and dating apps the need to be either an extrovert or be in the social scene is no longer a requirement for women who want just sex, or are looking for just a relationship with any old dude.

Bikerbats · 2022-10-23T18:48:01+00:00

I was there, and no.

sabazurc · 2022-10-23T19:35:44+00:00

This makes sense. TBH I had similar doubt as well. Maybe today it got worse but ever since 80s situation has been changing.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-10-23T19:52:41+00:00

No, social media and influencing have sped up the spiral of consumption and the expectation of instant gratification (as well as lowering attention span) to a frenzied pace. The modern ultra consumer is like the old model on steroids (which more people literally are on these days as well).

Things are more like they are now than they ever were.

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-10-23T23:08:33+00:00

It's a bit like Woodstock and festival drugs.

It started with second wave feminism in the 1970s, and a few did it but there was a lot of noise about it.

Then in the 1990s it went mainstream.

Then in the 2010s it became pedestrian.

2022-10-23T15:09:58+00:00

The only difference now is that the unloveable men have formed a club and can talk about it. It’s always been this way.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-10-23T13:16:52+00:00

4th wave feminism combined with OLD created hook-up culture. I don't think anyone is disagreeing with that. I mean advancements in contraception in the 60s was probably the 1st big spike in the SMP change.

AidsVictim · 2022-10-23T14:37:31+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Super-Peoplez-S0Lt · 2022-10-23T21:17:47+00:00

Dating has always been a struggle for many people and it always will be, unfortunately, for many people. All OLD and the internet did was give the people struggling a larger platform to complain about it. And this is coming from someone who struggles a lot with dating.

AutoModerator · 2022-10-23T12:44:42+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AidsVictim · 2022-10-23T16:43:27+00:00

Social dysfunction was already present in the 90's but the current form is different

purplish_possum · 2022-10-23T17:49:35+00:00

The AF//BB dynamic has been around since forever. Read some Jane Austen.

2022-10-23T20:41:51+00:00

Its been the trend since starting slowly in the 1960s, and went into overdrive in 2012

nemma88 · 2022-10-23T22:09:47+00:00

People always banged, even things like the syphilis epidemic hardly slowed 'em down. It was not unheard of for kids to be passed off as siblings or for less fortunate men to marry women already pregnant with another mans child. Average age of marriage was about 25 for a English woman in 1800.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2022-10-23T23:12:01+00:00

Damn so much of this sub is people spewing worldview word salad when there are LITERAL DATA POINTS that contradict every single thing they say.

https://jaymans.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/numwomen-m.png

Look at that. It's been roughly the same for the last century. Literally a 1 minute google search.

FlyV89 · 2022-10-25T02:51:34+00:00

We live in the era of comunication. We all know everything about everyone.

Long time ago, if a girl banged a guy on the low no one found out, and if the dude runned his mouth around it was just that, a rumour.

Today a good looking man can download Tinder and record 100 women matching with him and asking him to come over and then upload the video on YouTube so 1 million dudes going on a two years long "dry spell" can say "aaaahh got it, now I understand".

It always happened. But now we know everything about everyone.

Title	CMV: Myth of Online "dating" ruining the SMV: It was bad in the 1990s already
Author	Various-Storm2143
Upvotes	15
Comments	112
Date	October 23, 2022 12:44 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ybgsea/cmv_myth_of_online_dating_ruining_the_smv_it_was/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-myth-of-online-dating-ruining-the-smv-it-was.1136789 https://theredarchive.com/post/1136789

Comments