The Study: What Kind Of Love Is Love At First Sight?

The sample: Across all three waves of data collection, we obtained responses from a total of 396 participants (61.9% women). They were mostly Dutch (43.9%) or German (46.5%) students (61.6%), and the mean age was 24.18 years (SD = 5.98). Almost all were heterosexual (96.2%), and excluding the few homosexual and bisexual participants did not significantly affect the results.

Abstract: Love at first sight (LAFS) is a commonly known phenomenon, but has barely been investigated scientifically. Major psychological theories of love predict that LAFS is marked by high passion. However, it could also be a memory confabulation construed by couples to enhance their relationship. We investigated LAFS empirically by assessing feelings of love at the moment participants met potential partners for the first time. Data were collected from an online study, a laboratory study, and three dating events. Experiences of LAFS were marked neither by high passion, nor by intimacy, nor by commitment. Physical attraction was highly predictive of reporting LAFS. We therefore suggest that LAFS is not a distinct form of love, but rather a strong initial attraction that some label as LAFS, either in the moment of first sight or retrospectively.

We can all agree that the biggest problem in modern dating is that everyone is more disposable with partners being commodified as shiny new toys (a.k.a. grass is greener mentality). Most men decide whether or not a woman is worth committing to after sex while women decide the same after dates: which results in pumping and dumping (where men extract sex for validation then leave) and dining and dashing (where women extract as much money from men as they can through dates). The supposed reason why women dine and dash is because they hardly feel "the spark" or a "connection" during dates, and women will console men saying they can do everything right but have to expect rejection from failing to induce such an inexplicable vibe.

But this study proves that "the spark" is not a matter of building intimacy, passion, or commitment: but being physically attractive. So if you're the type of guy whose main dating struggle isn't I can never land dates but instead none of my dates go anywhere, your failure to build the spark does not reflect on your charisma, social skills, or personality: it means you're not physically attractive enough. When you see a woman on PPD or elsewhere complaining that they never feel a spark, know that their problem isn't failing to land a compatible partner, but failing to land an 8, 9, or 10. "The Spark" is a dogwhistle for physical attraction.