For people who were/are on dating apps looking for a relationship: What's your attitude towards sex?

BioNipple · 2023-02-26T00:35:08+00:00

Have been on 39 dates last year. Slept with one and now my long-term gf. We'll see how things play out. Most of the girls on these apps are a bit unsure about what exactly they want.

Mind you, I've only started actually going dates 3 years ago and have a body count of 2

Soon-to-be-Catlady · 2023-02-26T13:48:58+00:00

I have noticed that I am a sex-on-the-second-date girl and usually only going on a second date with someone who I really find attractive, so that's how it worked out with the last 4 guys I had sex with (2 from dating apps). With one guy I was in a FWB/short-term relationship for almost a year (we both didn't see it going anywhere but enjoyed each others company).

Straight_Plenty6244 · 2023-02-25T22:22:51+00:00

On dating apps for a solid year. The most was a quick peck. Then met my now boyfriend from a dating app and we slept together on the second date. Felt comfortable enough to sleep with him cause we connected so well and he communicated really clearly. Never been into fwb or casual

siIkyyyy · 2023-02-26T00:13:22+00:00

I’ve made a dating profile on hinge but never met up with anyone from there & deleted it after a few days.

I don’t like to have sex outside of an established relationship, so sex is not on my mind which means the apps are pretty useless for me

Xxranger567 · 2023-02-26T10:21:18+00:00

Dating apps are only for hookups

northernlights190 · 2023-02-25T21:48:16+00:00

I’m no longer on the apps, but I was for awhile.

I didn’t have sex with anyone I met on the apps. Probably went on 15 first dates or so over the two years I was on them (badly interrupted by the pandemic). A couple of them went to a second and one went to a third. Some great guys, but none I felt sexual desire for. It takes a bit more for me than a date or two to actually want to have sex with someone.

I’m comfortable having sex as soon as I know I want to have sex with that person. (And obviously when they feel the same.) In my life, that’s mostly been when I’ve gotten to know someone a bit through my social environments, prior to us dating.

I’ve never done an FWB and not sure it would be good for me. For the most part, if I am attracted to someone enough to sleep with them then I am also into them enough to want to date, and maintaining FWB without the possibility of more wouldn’t be healthy for me I don’t think.

M3taBuster · 2023-02-26T01:05:41+00:00

I'm a virgin and I want the first woman I sleep with to be my life partner. I want her to be the first, last, and only woman I ever have sex with. I don't believe in serial "monogamy", I believe in actual monogamy.

Needless to say, I certainly wouldn't have sex after every 1st date. Or 2nd, or 10th, or 100th. I'm not necessarily insistent on waiting until after marriage, but I want to wait at least until I'm 100% certain I will marry the woman I'm with, sometime in the future. If I were to start dating a woman right now, it would probably take 2 years at the very least before I reached that level of certainty.

And no, if it somehow didn't work out after we had already had sex, I would not be open to being FWBs. In fact the very idea of FWBs, and casual sex in general, absolutely disgusts me. In my view, it is comparable to doing hard drugs. Possibly even worse.

Familiar_Egg8802 · 2023-02-25T22:27:58+00:00

lol, for most men good luck getting a second date even if you got the first. My OLD experience this year has been.

Autistic catholic doctor who wants someone as religious as her with a equal education and a similar age range(good luck).
Woman way fatter in person than her profile gave.
Older chinese woman(kinda hot) but honestly I just felt she was too old.
Child sex abuse victim who apparently got bored of me.
Conservative woman living in liberal town too pussy to say she is actually conservative, has some weird mental hangup on kids(You listen to JP but want to remain barren? Something isn't working right in your head).

On a personal level I will wait to have sex for 6 months, it doesn't matter that much to me, the concept of FWB/casual sex has never crossed my mind nor been an opportunity.

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No-Rough-7390 · 2023-02-26T04:57:10+00:00

I had a ton of matches and could be relatively picky about who I met up with, so if it went in the direction of sleeping together then it happened. It’s kind of strange seeing just how many of them are still single and really didn’t sleep with many guys looking back on it now. If the attraction was there, I saw no issue sleeping together as soon as possible. Many men may think it makes a woman seem easy, but it could also be she actually has genuine desire for you.

Anti_Thing · 2023-02-26T02:26:24+00:00

I've been on dating apps for almost 3 years.

I've never had sex. I'm only willing to have sex within marriage. I would never be FWB.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-02-26T00:09:26+00:00

When I used apps:

I didn't intend on having sex with everyone I went on a date with, but I didn't try to go on dates or indeed match with or talk to anyone who I already knew I wouldn't end up in a relationship with, where I'd presumably have sex.

I'm comfortable with having sex with people only after I've known them very well and experienced other kinds of physical intimacy with them, which takes some time that can be put in terms of months.

I see no benefit to me of ever having a "friend" with benefits.

This is part of why I left the apps.

slazengerx · 2023-02-25T23:56:17+00:00

I met a half dozen women on Tinder maybe 5+ years back. Had relationships of over a year with two of them. Of my last several girlfriends I met the majority on Instagram. The most recent I've been with for over a year. Generally we've had sex on the second or third date or thereabouts. I'd remain FWB if the dating didn't work out. It happens occasionally.

CimZim · 2023-02-25T23:59:35+00:00

Do you have it with everyone you go out on a date with?

Goodness no. I didn't have sex with any of the guys I went on dates with, they all wanted it far too soon.

At what point will you be comfortable with having sex?

Idk. Probably about 2 months of going on 2-3 dates a week. That sounds about right.

Would you remain FWB if the dating doesn't work out?

Sure, I prefer it at this point.

vzmal · 2023-02-26T00:26:30+00:00

I’m an unattractive man so I never got a like or match. People said it was my prompts and bio when I asked. I even asked women on reddit for advice and they said it was prompts/bio. I made ones they approved of and still nothing. So I kept everything the same but made my height 6’1 and changed the pics to that of a male model and immediately got matches and women commenting on my prompts telling me how funny I was or how they had similar interests. It’s looks over personality every time.

Relative_Bee8356 · 2023-02-26T01:20:03+00:00

When I was on dating apps looking for a relationship I also considered a good FWB or hookup a pretty decent outcome. I didn't sleep with every date, but I did sleep with all the ones I liked and found attractive enough, typically on the first date although occasionally on the second. I would keep them around as FWBs if I liked the sex but didn't think there was relationship potential. I don't keep exes or almost-exes as FWBs because it invites confusion.

Honestly a pretty effective strategy, and fun to boot.

TheDustLord · 2023-02-26T04:23:32+00:00

I’d be comfortable doing it soon, but I wouldn’t propose it myself until after a few dates and a probably few weeks at least.

lolthankstinder · 2023-02-26T05:15:35+00:00

I prefer to start out casual while being open to upgrading to something more if it feels right.

Or I should say preferred** past tense because this is how I met my girlfriend. We started off casual having lots of sex and I officially asked her out several months later because it felt right.

If you feel like guys keep leaving you after sex, it’s not the sex, it’s the kind guys you’re dating.

begayallday · 2023-02-26T10:38:51+00:00

I did not have sex with everyone I went out with. I’m comfortable with it when I feel comfortable with it. It’s not the same with everyone. Them being comfortable with it is just as important as me being comfortable with it. I have stayed FWB with people on rare occasions. For that to happen we have to get along really well as friends, have good sexual chemistry, but have no romantic feelings from either person.

gugabe · 2023-02-26T11:20:09+00:00

I'm not super fussed about it as a guy, but I've found that if I'm not pressuring/alluding to it within 2 or 3 dates and generally upping the tempo I'm gonna be at risk of getting ye olde 'No Spark' text.

Which kinda produces this shitty situation where I feel pressured to push it with girls I like but I don't feel supercertain about, since I feel if I don't push the tempo I'm gonna get dumped for not doing it.

ImNotRickJames_Bitch · 2023-02-26T16:23:56+00:00

No means no.

If she won’t have sex, there’s always someone who will (for fun or for money). 😉

It’s not that serious.

Notsonewguy7 · 2023-02-26T19:23:39+00:00

I personally dislike sex a little (not asexual) but that's what people want if want to find a meaningful relationship. So here we are..

Dstar538888 · 2023-02-27T05:47:50+00:00

I personally think that casual sex is a waste of time and I'm not interested in sleeping with a ton of people just to have sex....so to weed out the guys who are just looking for sex, I don't sleep with anyone until we've agreed to be in an exclusive relationship first...this works well for me because it weeds out the time wasters and the males looking for a human fleshlight...I want no parts....I've been able to find men who are serious about me, so it works for me

2023-02-27T10:42:32+00:00

I am no longer on dating apps but I was on nearly every dating app you could think of. I am a virgin but I don't really care about sex. I mean sex is probably fun but I would rather find connection and other forms of intimacy. I don't need sex for intimacy. If I get horny I can always masturbate but not to porn. I can't jerk my heart. I would never become FWB that sounds like a recipe for disaster, at least for me. I can't answer the other questions because I never get dates and haven't lost my virginity.

theycallmecoffee · 2023-03-03T18:53:07+00:00

nah I don’t have sex until 3 months of dating

belachewhm · 2023-02-26T21:45:47+00:00

I’m a guy that’s been on Hinge for a while (like 2 years)

I usually ask very direct and pointed questions on first dates. (When was your last relationship, do you have any kids, etc.) I make it known right off the bat that I’m not interested in a sexless relationship, or waiting a very long time before having sex. I am upfront and honest about this.

I’m usually willing to pay for something small during a first date like coffee or ice cream so we can have something to enjoy while talking. That being said, to me a first date is not an excuse for me to pay for a lavish meal/experience for you.

If we vibe then I’m okay proceeding with another date. Sometimes I’m a little too abrasive for the woman’s liking, and she respectfully lets me know that she doesn’t want to move forward. Other times there’s additional dates, and sometimes that leads to sex.

My hope is that this strategy will lead to a situation where I’m having sex regularly with someone that I enjoy spending time with, and that will turn into a relationship. If I sense a lack of sexual attraction on the outset then I’m out, because that’s a long road to nowhere.

Title	For people who were/are on dating apps looking for a relationship: What's your attitude towards sex?
Author	traveldeedee
Upvotes	13
Comments	46
Date	February 25, 2023 9:30 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/11bwby1/for_people_who_wereare_on_dating_apps_looking_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/for-people-who-wereare-on-dating-apps-looking-for.1153337 https://theredarchive.com/post/1153337

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