Opinion: Young men, get 'yes' a text before sex

falinski · 2013-11-26T20:51:34+00:00

Good effort but they forget that consent can be revoked at any time.

WizzleTizzleFizzle · 2013-11-27T01:06:45+00:00

Fuck this bullshit. If women want to make us jump through a thousand hoops, get a signed and notarized statement, and swear before a judge and 3 bailiffs before the sexual act, then you know what?

Im going to get a prostitute.

themountaingoat · 2013-11-27T00:01:06+00:00

Don't teach young men to get a yes text before sex, teach women to not falsely accuse people of rape.

Ma99ie · 2013-11-26T21:23:27+00:00

Film it covertely or openly, get a record.

Paul-ish · 2013-11-27T00:41:16+00:00

Didn't someone recently calculate that, to be fully covered in a typical sexual encounter, the man would have to ask for permission something like seventy-one times?

mcmur · 2013-11-27T01:11:20+00:00

Yes....now if only I could get about 3 dozen copies of written contracts that I can have on me at all times just in the slight off chance i actually do have a sexual encounter with a woman.

I should also keep a blood-alcohol testing kit. I'll just strap a fanny pack on and keep it in there (along with my contracts) and whip it out whenever I'm about to get laid.

JayBopara · 2013-11-27T01:25:42+00:00

Parents need to step up. I'm doing my part, raising a son to respect women and himself by talking to him about how to navigate the freedom that comes with college life.

But we need to do more work to teach our daughters that women also have an equal personal responsibility to respect their bodies.

Still rather blue pillish. And the problem with this sort of mentality is, we are saying as a society the onus is on the person to prove innocence, which is just wrong.

housebrickstocking · 2013-11-27T03:53:05+00:00

So it has come to the point where rape hysteria is suggesting we record our lives with mobile devices or else live in fear of accusation without recourse.

Oh until we get the point where we've recorded without consent and it is inadmissable and unlawful in its own right.

lol_speak · 2013-11-27T00:28:23+00:00

A judge can throw this evidence out, no way to prove it was her that was using her own password protect phone that she never reported stolen. Also, it could be considered hearsay. Note that while a judge CAN decide to allow it into evidence, they can just as easily disregard it. In a rape case, perhaps more than other cases, the judge you get better be one understanding and reasonable bastard or you are fucked.

kurtu5 · 2013-11-27T04:51:07+00:00

Or just go MGTOW and let them deal with their own lives.

Ma99ie · 2013-11-26T21:47:39+00:00

Waiting for feminist to explode after reading this article. 3-2-1...

mtux96 · 2013-11-27T05:02:07+00:00

A yes text doesn't matter when all she has to say : "well I was drunk" after the fact.

imba8 · 2013-11-27T01:03:43+00:00

The "presexual agreement". We live in a fucked up world.

Deadsatyr · 2013-11-27T00:53:45+00:00

It's a great idea. Shame that people have to resort to that.

Collective82 · 2013-11-27T00:55:59+00:00

This was brought up on my local radio station and I called in to chat about it. Dropped our subreddits name as my opening point credentials.

2013-11-26T21:39:11+00:00

Strange article coming from CNN, usually their gendered stuff is along the lines of "teach men not to rape" as well as other great feminist ideology pieces intent on advocating gender quotas or blaming everything on 'rape culture' and 'patriarchy'. As others have said, not really going to work as consent can be withdrawn at any time, not to mention rape shield laws.

Mnemniopsis · 2013-11-27T00:08:57+00:00

What a good parent.

MerfAvenger · 2013-11-27T01:09:48+00:00

As abysmal as it is that men have to do this sort of shit before sex I think this is a pretty valid article. As someone pointed out in the article comments it can't be taken as total superproof that the woman is being a lying bitch and faked her rape case but lets face it; what else can a man do to protect himself? You gave it your best shot short of carrying around a contract printed with "I give consent to be shagged by x man".

wendysNO1wcheese · 2013-11-27T14:14:30+00:00

Her intentions are good, but she's failing to see the problem and her resolution is asinine.

7Vega · 2013-11-27T15:28:42+00:00

I was doing this years ago. The after-sex text is genius.

d8q · 2013-11-27T09:32:38+00:00

How about a legal system that actually presumes innocence and requires actual evidence to reach a guilty verdict? Maybe in some alternate universe.

2013-11-27T15:02:49+00:00

Nice try, but it honestly doesn't matter how consensual your sex was or how much evidence you've got to back it up - the fact is that all a woman has to do is say 'he raped me' and you're in for a hell of a time.

It won't even matter if you prove yourself innocent, though, because you'll have probably still lost your job, your scholarship, your reputation and your livelihood.

A woman's word is enough to destroy a man's life.

Bartab · 2013-11-27T03:56:00+00:00

This is just an extension of "record everything"

Though, I must be too old. I've never hookedup over texts. Flirted with people I already knew, sure, but I can't even imagine how the advice in this article would work.

neener_neener_neener · 2013-11-27T05:08:14+00:00

Umm how about a written application, at least a day before?

Men can be raped too, you say? Well then how about making it mandatory for both parties to go in court and admit first that it is consensual (only valid for one session)? All the acts should be planned beforehand and detailed on paper and agreed upon by both parties. Both parties have to appear before judge and admit to that there were no violations.

Where does this end? Fucking morons.

2013-11-27T05:23:13+00:00

And don't forget to record some video, pausing frequently to ask if it's still OK.

2013-11-27T05:28:50+00:00

One of the things I like about this article is that it's an opinion piece from somebody with a decent resume, instead of just a random person. It gives more weight to her opinion since she's see what happens in the real world.

Roxanne Jones is a founding editor of ESPN The Magazine and a former vice president at ESPN. She is a national lecturer on sports, entertainment and women's topics and a recipient of the 2010 Woman of the Year award from Women in Sports and Events. She is the co-author of "Say It Loud: An Illustrated History of the Black Athlete," (Random House) and CEO of Push Media Strategies.

iSomeKindaNinja · 2013-11-27T06:44:21+00:00

Seriously, 300 condoms? He can't pick a pack up at the convenient store every week or two?

2013-11-27T08:08:31+00:00

This sound good on papers but men have been found guilty of rape even with consent and witnesses to the concent. See can literally say "yes" with once hand on the Bible in front of people and then claim you raped her. All see had to say is that she withdrew concent during the act or that she didn't agree to certain acts.

accidental_me · 2013-11-27T08:10:46+00:00

In my case, I filled my son's duffel bag with about 300 condoms

Very embarrassing if her son happens to belong to the majority that get sex from a couple of women during his college years.

rapey_raperson · 2013-11-27T08:33:12+00:00

Just video tape all your encounters; "It's kinky, it's fun, and it's evidence - all in one."

scanspeak · 2013-11-27T10:58:50+00:00

She could deny that she sent the text (i.e that he or someone else sent it) or claim that she as drunk and didn't know what she was doing.

Fen94 · 2013-11-27T13:32:36+00:00

Feminist opinion number 15166903: Consent can be revoked at any time, and why would someone want to falsely accuse you of rape after having sex with you? Do you people really not know the people you are sleeping with that well that they could be hiding a secret vendetta against you from you? Or are you having sex without really knowing or caring what full willing and continued consent means? Because if you know that, then you shouldn't have to be playing legal games to maintain your innocence.

Any form of non-consensual sex is no different in any way to rape, it's literally is rape, so if you do it, you're guilty, no argument. It can be hard to prove if someone does this to you, it's far easier to just have consensual sex and not be raped, the majority of actual rapists, people who will admit to forcing sex on women or forcing their "consent", get away with it.

Yet instead of beating these people with hammers or teaching them the right way to obtain consent, we have enormous long threads like this teaching them how to legally be "safe", with no consideration of the safety of the person who wants to just have sex (or not) and not be vilified for their choice.

bsutansalt · 2013-11-27T13:55:02+00:00

there's been a lot of great comments posted here. I can only hope you replicate them in the CNN article's comments section.

HellInMyHead · 2013-11-27T14:25:12+00:00

I'm gay, so it's not exactly the same, but a text did save me once.

Mitschu · 2013-11-27T21:26:00+00:00

You know, just to address something tangentially related, I always find it creepy when a mother tries to micromanage and vicariously participate in her son's sex life. Yes, the c-word.

In my case, I filled my son's duffel bag with about 300 condoms and told him watch out for party girls but have fun.

So many things wrong with that. First off, how does she know his condom (and thereby erect penis) size? I didn't learn mine until I was 20, through much trial and error and a very patient girlfriend.

Then there's the whole "I bought you sexiness!" issue, and the whole "Only fuck who I approve of!" issue.

MockingDead · 2013-11-27T22:16:57+00:00

Jesus Chistos. Texts, recorded video of the consent conversation? What's next, fucking lawyers?

And yes, I am aware of skits that were once satire and are now spot on non-fiction.

DownShatCreek · 2013-11-27T06:21:26+00:00

germanhumor Harlon Katz • 9 hours ago −

Because men tend to be stronger and larger than women. So if a woman had changed their mind (and being that both are drunk) then the burden on proof would be on the male. It's not that hard to figure out, and it's not a conspiracy. So stop it w/ you "Men's Rights" BS

OK. And when a woman rapes a child, she's genuinely sorry and booked in for an hour of wrist tapping before being released.

Fen94 · 2013-11-27T12:36:38+00:00

Texts won't help. Video them on your camera phone:

Talk for 10-15 minutes, tell her what you're going to do and ask her if she agrees to it
Turn on your camera and have her recall the 15 minute convo and if she's okay with it, ask her name, the date and time and if she consents
Have fun, wear a condom because these girls are fucking everything that moves nowadays

2013-11-27T14:13:07+00:00

I'll just keep doing things the way I've been doing. And if a chick falsely accuses me of rape, I will murder her and rely on family 'remedies' concerning body disposal.

But when you're an insane vaguely sociopathic monster, people tend to notice that and don't generally fuck with you to begin with.

2013-11-27T02:26:40+00:00

I'm sure prosecutors would find a reason to use it as evidence AGAINST the defendant.

"The defendant sent a text asking for sex, this obviously shows he had premeditated intent to rape!"

Tyrien · 2013-11-27T03:44:49+00:00

or just don't blindly sleep with a woman if you're that worried about being mis-labeled a rapist.

JEW_BLASTER · 2013-11-27T05:26:47+00:00

Well, it's too common that us men take advantage of girls in a drunken state, where their consent may mean less than a yes.

If you have the audacity to take advantage of a girl who is less than in their perfect state of mind, then you should rethink your being a "man", you filthy shit eating nigger.

Title	Opinion: Young men, get 'yes' a text before sex
Author	bsutansalt
Upvotes	231
Comments	145
Date	November 26, 2013 8:43 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1riqtq/opinion_young_men_get_yes_a_text_before_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/opinion-young-men-get-yes-a-text-before-sex.1157716 https://theredarchive.com/post/1157716

Comments

Because men tend to be stronger and larger than women. So if a woman had changed their mind (and being that both are drunk) then the burden on proof would be on the male. It's not that hard to figure out, and it's not a conspiracy. So stop it w/ you "Men's Rights" BS