Have you ever met a man that you felt was "too nice"?

wtknight · 2023-03-09T18:05:17+00:00

Removed. No men asking men or women asking women questions.

CringeButCorrect · 2023-03-09T16:23:45+00:00

Men usually don't receive unprompted acts of kindness from other individuals on a regular basis. If they get anything from a person, it's because they did slmething in the past.

Also, in my opinion, when a woman says a guy is too nice, it's not because she sees him as somewhat of a pushover. It's not that his niceness is too high, it's that it's unprompted and unconditional. I can understand why someone would be out off by that. Well, either that or she desires toxic relationships.

Morwening · 2023-03-09T16:21:12+00:00

Ive certainly met people who are kind of cloying and desperate to be liked, it can be a bit disconcerting. Like, I'm all for being polite and friendly when you first meet someone but after a certain point you gotta show some humanity.

Mobrowncheeks · 2023-03-09T16:28:18+00:00

As usual what is being said and what it means are 2 different things.

One of my best friends get called “too nice “ all the time.

He’s a fully fledge responsible adult who takes care of his loved ones, does community service, etc. he’s also over 6 foot and athletic.

But what he is, in regards to women, is passive and corny. He does things like wear Pokémon merch ( he’s 28) references SpongeBob often, is high energy in a SpongeBob like manor, and is also oblivious/ to shy to answer any advances from women that aren’t explicitly stated. He’s a kind hearted, respectable, disciplined, and caring person and that is reflected in his interactions with people. But his vibe is not one that is sexually attractive, or one that would make a woman want to show her friends this guy.

MouthSandTeethTongue · 2023-03-09T16:23:36+00:00

Absolute doormats are rare. Too nice is often used when there's no sexual attraction or she doesn't truly know him. I've seen acquaintances be too-niced by women but things not working out didn't have much to do with being too nice.

It was in all likelyhood about not performing in a way that would make her panties wet, early on. Or she got "the ick" because he had the wrong kind of socks or something, who knows.

Laniekea · 2023-03-09T16:42:41+00:00

Yes, I have met men that are too nice.

That doesn't mean that I want a guy thats an ass. You can have dignity, and not let people walk all over you without being an ass. You just have be willing to hold people to a reasonable standard.

We've all seen it. Relationships where the girl has all the power, and the boy is just a doormat who does what she says. And most women don't want to be in a relationship like that anyways because they want to partner that is dependable, can solve problems on their own, can make decisions on their own without needing their handheld, and who can hold their own at work.

TotalTravesty · 2023-03-09T16:25:14+00:00

I used to know some really cool nice guys. They were Ned Flanders-y types who never had a cross word to say about anything, disliked anything too aggressive or controversial, and generally just preferred…the plain side of things. Made it really difficult to set up group dinners at Indian or Ethiopian restaurants, but I digress.

I didn’t dislike these guys, but I also didn’t have to date them. They’re great, but I get how they wouldn’t be the first choice to do anything particularly novel or exciting with. I can see how some girl one day would gravitate to them but I’m also not surprised how a girl might want to choose someone who wasn’t so afraid to step out of the comfort zone.

0DarkFlirty · 2023-03-09T16:51:12+00:00

Guys that are "too nice" may be handsome but give off no sexy edge or are just straight up boring as fuck, at least to women. Most men's biggest dating problems aren't that they are secretly evil sociopaths who are bad people like really dumb people on the internet like to pretend it's about. Instead, they're explicitly boring, unexciting, and don't give off any sexual energy.

MasterTeacher123 · 2023-03-09T16:48:27+00:00

I feel like The “nice guy” phenomenon is more about dudes not understanding dating/relationship dynamics than these sociopaths who are long term planning to get into women’s pants

AlastorSitri · 2023-03-09T17:24:37+00:00

Was told by a girl I use to date that the perfect nice is someone who is nice, but also still capable of roasting them to hell and back.

When put that way, it is easy to picture someone that is "too nice"

Dreaminofthepasts · 2023-03-09T16:32:39+00:00

It's such a weird situation because you'd think given the constant hateful rape alley that they describe society as, frequent mention of statistics regarding likelihood of being abused or even murdered by a partner, etc., that they would want the most docile, timid, physically unimposing partners possible

Ah but you see, there's the "rub" (giggity):

What women are actually scared of and trying to solve and tame is the men that make their gashes gush

achatteringsound · 2023-03-09T16:41:03+00:00

There’s a big difference between “too nice” and not having an opinion about anything. I think the two are probably confused quite often.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2023-03-09T16:53:36+00:00

Yes but the issue is not lack of masculinity

It’s the ones that make such a big deal about how nice they are that they come across as creepy

Steakman1 · 2023-03-09T17:02:55+00:00

I’ve known some guys who will have boundaries and roast other guys. But then as soon as a decent looking woman comes around they turn into a yes man and a massive pushover. There are definitely guys out there who would do almost anything a decent looking woman would tell them to do even if they themselves don’t like what they have to do.

CradleCity · 2023-03-09T17:09:37+00:00

This thread probably should've been flaired "Question For Women". Or for all people.

Anyway, speaking as a former doormat, I think there are at least two types of doormats who don't elicit attraction from women:

A) Ones who only show niceness, and no other side of their personality. For some women, this might be a yellow/red flag ("what's he hiding?"), even if it's genuine, altruistic niceness;
B) Ones who do not elicit attraction (romantic and/or sexual) from women, especially ones he might've been attracted to, and are deemed to be 'boring' (even if what's boring for some are exciting for others), either because they weren't assertive, or had non-mainstream interests (this is especially true in regards to things like music or animated movies of any kind), or were raised in different backgrounds from said women.

(I was type B. There also might be other types out there)

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-03-09T16:30:30+00:00

Yes I’ve met doormats before. And you tell them to grow a backbone cause that’s not a way to go thru life. Even the nicest dudes I know have boundaries and limits and hold to those values. That’s why they get so much more respect than a dude that lets everyone walk all over them.

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panascope · 2023-03-09T16:57:09+00:00

Yes. He swooped in on my first girlfriend in high school when we broke up and then pined after another girl we were friends with when that fell apart. They eventually got married and he's completely subservient to her.

Affectionate_Pen_623 · 2023-03-09T17:01:16+00:00

Yeah. All the time.

And it's not "too nice" it's more fake nice. And, tbh, they're often white and middle class it's gotta be said.

And I say that because I can think of genuinely nice ass middle class white people. My girlfriends family for instance, her dad and brothers in particular (her mother is too but this is a convo about men alas), are genuinely wonderful people. But they tend to be more reserved. I notice truly good people never try to "love bomb" you or placate through virtue signalling and instead kinda hang back and try to assess you without judging too much.

Substantial_Video560 · 2023-03-09T17:30:50+00:00

You mean simps? There's plenty of them out there. It's rather cringeworthy and embrassing to be hobest.

Gr4nd45 · 2023-03-09T17:37:14+00:00

I've met dudes, who basically had no strong opinion of their own. Any time I, or anyone else, would challenge them, they'd cave instantly and start backpedaling, instead of defending their point. Which is, honestly, annoying and pathetic.

Also, some people act in a way, that just puts you in a situation, where you owe them. It's uncomfortable, especially if you aren't that close to those people.

BN5130 · 2023-03-09T17:42:42+00:00

Yeah, there was one guy I met in August. You would tell him the most mundane shit and he would give over the top reaction like I told him that I cured cancer. That came off as very disingenuous and I immediately became wary of him. My girl-friend wouldn’t shut up how nice he is and I was like, yeah go for it but I find him completely annoying.

Everything is good within a reason, after that you start questioning things. Like I recently met a study counsellor, a lady in her 50s, probably the sweetest lady I have ever met but she was so nice that I was thrown off a bit by it. Then I asked my buddy who has also met her if he thinks she is actually that nice or it’s performative.

KingOfTheIncels_ · 2023-03-09T17:49:49+00:00

I was a guy who was "too nice". I was too nice to women because I wanted to get in their pants, in my experience talking to my female friends, women don't want nice guys, they want kind men. There's a big difference.

Weird_Slice4439 · 2023-03-09T16:35:30+00:00

If you haven't encountered those kinds of guys, it's because you're not hot enough for them.

Title	Have you ever met a man that you felt was "too nice"?
Author	ethicsssss
Upvotes	9
Comments	48
Date	March 9, 2023 4:17 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/11mwar7/have_you_ever_met_a_man_that_you_felt_was_too_nice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/have-you-ever-met-a-man-that-you-felt-was-too-nice.1173015 https://theredarchive.com/post/1173015

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